Narad: Welcome Dhanvanti we have known each other for 50 years but when did you first come to the ashram?

Dhanvanti: I have been coming here from the age of 1. The first time my father came here in 1935 I was one year old. At that time children were not even allowed in the ashram. So we saw Mother only in the balcony. But my father came here every year we stayed here for one month and after couple of years there was some child who wanted to also go for Sri Aurobindo's darshan. Everybody went from the house only she was not allowed because she was small so it was told to Mother; Mother the child wants to see Sri Aurobindo also! And so Mother, then allowed the children to come, till then we used to be out. My mother would go for meditation father would go for meditation, we used to stay home. But then we were allowed. 

Narad: So how old were you when you first saw Sri Aurobindo?

Dhanvanti: See I remember very well from 1943, it is the year when we started staying here because the school started. I must have seen him before but from that year I remember very well. I think there wasn't a moment greater for me than studying in front of Sri Aurobindo and looking into his eyes. It was nothing but, what in our language we would say, karuna dhara,  karuna means compassion, dhara means flow. It was nothing but a flow of compassion. You know when we went to him, all our being, not only mind and heart, the body itself was different. From three four days I used to sort of start preparing myself for the darshan, three four days in advance. And slowly-slowly as if the whole body was preparing to be just standing in front of a Vibhuti. I don't think I can have anything more marvelous than that darshan. Maybe I would see him again I don't know but so far there is no equal. 

Narad: And tell us about Mother when you were young?

Dhanvanti: I want to tell you first how we saw Mother by the side of Sri Aurobindo. For me and we saw her alone. When we saw her here in the ashram she was the queen, the conductor everything we had everything. She was the one. But when she was by the side of Sri Aurobindo she sort of just effaced herself, telling us, you look at it. This is how I felt. This is totally personal but I always felt that this figure that is everywhere just dominating, conducting really an orchestra of the ashram, when she was by the side of Sri Aurobindo she would look at him, look at him. And although we looked at her also, but I think we saw then together and the photograph that I love to most to have in my room would be to see them together on the sofa. Just marvelous, just marvelous!

Narad: Tehmi once told me that when she went the first time with her father, she saw his eyes and everything  blanked out, she said. She remembered nothing at all; she doesn't remember how she got through the room.

Dhanvanti: You know we used to go, we used to go slowly forward towards the room and inside the room. Right from there, although we didn't see him, but already we are seeing him. And everywhere in front, it’s like sometimes I used to feel him like the Himalayas you know from there, and he kept his hands like this. I sometimes saw the whole of India he kept his feet a little like this, so that was the India's and I very often felt I saw the whole of India in the figure of Sri Aurobindo. It's once side and this side the whole of India like this. Very often I used to feel that, the way he sat you know. And if you think, it was global with him. His once sentence is like the world and like that when you stand in front of him you are in a sphere, the whole universe was with him. It was one person but the universe, carrying the whole universe with him. And I very often felt also you know he has that line, "I measure the worlds with my ruby eyes". So he measured the worlds with his ruby eyes. He not only measured I would see he embraced the worlds with his ruby eyes. And when you stand in front of him you felt embraced, flooded just flooded. And for a long time after that you just didn't want to do anything, didn't want to do anything. Didn't want to budge, didn't want to move, didn't want to talk to anybody absolutely you just couldn't. 

Narad: You had darshans three times a year at first?

Dhanvanti: Four times.

Narad: Four times. 

Dhanvanti: No we used to come before the school started every year as visitors and we all came always for the darshan. Right from the station of that Chinna Babu samudram which was the station you know where they used to check us, because this was French territory. Right from there I used to feel already the atmosphere of the ashram, right from there and when you came down on the station here you are already full and around the ashram area I don't know I wish that was there again. But it was so intense, so strong, so palpitating. You could not but change it transformed you. Just the face of being in this atmosphere you were different. Without any effort you did not have to make any effort. Just be there; just be there and without effort. You know my book, I have written we used live in a celestial atmosphere, swargiya vatavaran, I have called it. And somebody asked me, of course. I even mentioned there this swargiya vatavaran is not because I was very small then. Its not something my innocent brain has made up. It was really an atmosphere in which we lived, we breathed, we drank, we learnt, we talked everything was ethereal. It's not imagination it was there. it was definitely unique.

Narad: And when he left?

Dhanvanti: Sri Aurobindo. It was shock but for me personally I didn't feel he left. It was only, I felt he was there. I never felt he left us. Yes the body is no more; yes we cannot go for darshan anymore like before. But I am absolutely convinced Narad, that if I can just switch on he is there. He is there like he was at that time there is no difference. If we really want to connect that means, its not easy, you do away with everything that was not he. That is the condition that you are to fulfill to be able to just switch on and get in. See, we have to fulfill the condition, we have to. And there is no doubt, Mother or Sri Aurobindo here or anywhere I can guarantee anyone you can be in Paris, you can be in New York, you can be anywhere if you can just call, they are there. There is no doubt why because they are not just in that body. They are like the sun, like the sun shedding everywhere. Now, if I leave my doors and windows open, it’s a flood. If I close my doors even then from the slightest hole they are going to come in that is their sunlight. The Supermind is the sunlight and anywhere anyone on Earth can just get if they just allow it to enter. Nobody can stop it, nobody nothing on earth can stop you from reaching there because it is always there, always there. 

Narad: You began in the school. 

Dhanvanti: I have a painting you know where I have described, shall I dance a little. See I wanted to show Mother giving all. And it was a, it’s a total game. So I wanted it to be like a tree rooted and the sap going up like this and then you give. You see that giving how total how integral is the giving, you are rooted, you take the sap, you grow and you give. 

Narad: Do you remember well your school years?

Dhanvanti: My school years that's where I have described it as. For me I tell you when I went to our school it was like all the time open to receive the light from anywhere really. And sometimes I told the children I was teaching afterwards, just be ready to open. You know we have in India, what we call chatak, it's imaginary. The chatak bird is always, has its beak open one drop coming. I was a bit like that in school. Literally, it’s not an exaggeration, I was ready to receive and receive. I didn't want to miss any one moment of light coming in. That was my school. 

Narad: Can you tell us bit about Mother in the playground? Your remembrances of her classes of her coming there he playing tennis anything like that.

Dhanvanti: I think I loved to see her play tennis although I never played tennis and I didn't see her much playing tennis but found something nice and I'll tell you a little story about it. You know Mother used to play tennis and the two persons playing against her, she always used to call them. They were the best players, they used to sit there and she would call, Abhay Singh was also there. For some time she hadn't call Abhay Singh so he thought Mother is not calling me these days so he was doing exercise outside the court but see the Mother every day after she returned here he used to see her so that day you know when she came back she is asking him, where were you today I wanted to play with you. She doesn't miss anything; she had her consciousness with all of us all the time. I'll tell you another story to prove you this. Now this is not finished. So he just said Mother these days you have not been playing with me so I went out. So Mother said, see what was her way of playing tennis? See my child when I play tennis, when I send the ball I am sending something that that person needs. Someone whom I call more now, he is more in need of that than you. So I didn't call you. See that, this is consciousness. This is what we should have learnt from her, this. So she said, so when I call him I send thing, send something. She was consciousnesses from top to toe so whatever she did was consciousness. Now how much of this have we realized? How much? That each one of us has to decide for himself, I can't decide for you or him or she, I have to see how much of that have I lived? I'll tell you another story this is personal. My mother was sick, she had cancer. And we knew that the time is limited and I felt much very much I should be by her side at this time. And I was a teacher in the school. So I told Mother, Mother maybe difficult right now for me because I have to be present there with a stroke of bell. And if that time my mother needs me I want to be there. So I wrote to her I would like to do something other than teaching, because teaching doesn't finish in the school, afterwards you have so much to do. I told her that, I am alright, my mother has given all her life to me and for this much time I should take to give myself totally to her. I was a little afraid that she may not like my decision but I was sure that I had to be by my mother's side. So she not only permitted me to stay by my mother you know so beautiful Narad. Now one day there will be a little work of painting or something, she will tell go and give it to Dhanvanti, go and give it to Dhanvanti. My goodness Narad, this is why she was Mother. We were 1500 children here one of them wanted to be with her mother, let her be, she allowed it. Nut she didn't forget me, I was in her consciousness and when she sent the work to me in my house that day I said, oh Mother if I can love even this much to be like that, Mother. This is consciousness Narad, this is what we have to be not anything else. So when we began today I said, Mother has said in one of the New Year messages: To know is good to live it is better, to be that is perfect. Right now I am on that point just being. I am not eager to paint, I am not eager to write, I am not eager to do anything, I am me, I am not saying no, I may but I want to be. I feel strongly that if I can just be that person that they wanted us to be, I will be sharing in the atmosphere the best that I can give. This is personal, not everybody needs to live, this is my personal attitude now towards my life by being. 

Narad: Tell me a bit about how you learnt painting?

Dhanvanti: Painting, well I started painting with everybody else here but very soon I felt that I had something to say in this media, very clear. That I have something to say in line and color.

Narad: How old were you then?

Dhanvanti: I was 21. I was absolutely sure and then I began to change my ways. Slowly I wanted to find a new way of expression. I loved human beings, human figure, the face and everything but I didn't want a Narad, I wanted a human being only a figure that can catch all that man wants. So I wanted to go into not personal depiction but a whole. Even in figure I wanted the minimum lines just a flow, just a stroke that would give you flight perhaps. Something big as if would in one line that which we are, we are something very vast spherical but put into this body Sri Aurobindo has said, "Coercing my Godhead I have come down" To come just to be born you have to coerce your Godhead. Just to be born you have to coerce your Godhead into one cell. You involve and then you evolve. Now I wanted that even in the figure I don't have any external details, no man no woman just figures. It took me time but I did come to it. 

Narad: Did Mother guide you personally?

Dhanvanti: Yes now and then I used to show her and when, I am coming to that, I started moving away from the you know details and all that and the first things that I painted and I took to her she said, You understand French isn't it. She said, 

Narad: You can say it in French and then we'll translate. 

Dhanvanti: I'll say it in French first, the way she said it. "Mon enfant tu as quelque chose ici mais quand ca passe par ici, she went like that, jusque la quelque chose se perd. Donc tu dois etre conciente jusqau bout de tes doigts". "My child, you have something here, but when this passes from here to here, something is getting lost, so you have to be conscious till the tip of your fingers". That's what I tried to do after that, that's what I tried to do, tried to be. To be conscious till the tip of my fingers that's all. 

Narad: Did you continue teaching after your mother passed away.

Dhanvanti: Yes. 

Narad: And what did you teach?

Dhanvanti: I was teaching French afterwards.

Narad: I wanted to ask you about the playground and Mother's classes.

Dhanvanti: I won't be able to talk to you about the Wednesday classes because she used to take many classes for the children and all, I have not been there. But the Wednesday classes yes.  What struck me most, my father and mother also used to stay there, they didn't understand French, but they also absorbed. So it was in the words really that she gave. Why, there were not only my father and mother, but so many others who stayed there. What made them stay there, when they didn't understand a single word? And they never felt that they were wasting their time or they are not understanding, why are they there? So she spoke not in the words but again in consciousness. She reached there also and maybe, maybe, this is personal what I am saying, when they who didn't understand the words received better because it was not in words because the word in every mind conditions you. And that is what kept them there. That is what kept those people there because she could speak without words and the real speech perhaps went to them. Because there was no mind, there was nothing to question her. I have nothing to question her because she answered you integrally all the time. I never have questions I don't know, I don't need to question. She is all the time talking to us full day, you just have to receive I feel. It is absolutely personal again. 

Narad: What do you remember of Nolini-da?

Dhanvanti: I wasn't much in touch with him really. 

Narad: Who were you mostly in touch with?

Dhanvanti: Now and then when we became permanent it was he who brought me the letter from Mother. And it was nice the way he gave it. It was just, because I stayed here for a long time without being permanent; we were not prosperity holders for a long time. And it didn't  matter much to me I was even though I had prosperity or not I was part of the ashram and that's what she wrote, Mother wrote, that I always considered you as ashramites. That's the thing, it was the least important thing but the way he brought and he gave it to me, it was so fine, so fine, that's time most beautiful way where I remember of his giving me that letter from Mother where there was compassion. It was not only Mother who is receiving us, when he gave us the letter he also recieved us. The way Mother received. And that time let me tell you anyone who joined the ashram we all embraced him like this. Everyone embraced him. This is what was the beauty of those days . We all lived together hand in hand. Mother accepted means everybody accepts nobody can say no to it. There was, this moment was not there, this was moment was not there. Only this, only this, what a beautiful moment. That was it, I should up the steps. And you know I used to feel this right from Madras, Chennai. We all came as visitors for darshan so people from Bombay, people from Delhi, people from Calcutta all came to Madras and from Madras we all were coming to Pondicherry for darshan. We all knew that we are all going for darshan and already in the train we are one, we are one. Always the feeling of oneness, we are one. Already we were Sri Aurobindo's and Mother's children, we are one, we belong to the same people. It was automatic this movement, automatic. 

Narad: Can you speak a bit about Abhay Singh and his work?

Dhanvanti: I must tell you that I learnt a lot a lot of work in the ashram while working in atelier, a lot. Before that I was in the school for ten years, I loved my work, I loved teaching. But here I found very interestingly Abhay Singh never spoke big, he acted big. He told Mother, I don't understand sadhana this that, Mother I like what work you give me. I want work for you, so simple. Even to join the ashram he went and told Mother, Mother I like you very much will you keep mother me? How sweet, just like that Mother I don't understand all this yoga and everything, I love work, I want to work for you, give me work. So simple like a child. In the school when I taught there were big words, lot of talk. Not that there was no action but here I felt that work was done in that spirit without big words. It was really great. That man never got angry with anybody. 40 years I worked with him, he didn't know what was getting angry. Not only with his workers, but even with paid workers he has never scolded anybody, never. Everybody was a brother, all the boys that worked with him, his little brothers. To work with him was for me, I think I learnt a lot. First of all there were so many departments, so so many kinds of works. If we want to learn, such an opportunity, immense opportunity to work anything. And I learnt a lot because of that, I learnt so much. And I learnt what behavior with people is. His dealings from man to man. It's very rare, he would never point to anybody that you are not doing this or that, never. He'll just manage. If he is seeing that something is not being done he will get the work done because the work has to done. He will find ways of getting it done. But he will never point out to anybody you make him do this. No complex, he was the head but there was no complex at all. Absolutely, he never behaved like a head 13, 14, 19 departments but he never saw it and he was always free. He managed all and he was always free. I was lucky, I was really lucky. 

Narad: I would like to ask you if you would consider coming again, coming one more time and talking with us. You could not some things down and we would be very happy, very happy to have again with us. 

Dhanvanti: If there is anything I can give, I am free to give.

Narad: Wonderful.

Dhanvanti: Life is to give, to share. Otherwise what is it, what are we here for? I want to share everything I have come. This is what my painting say, I give my all. What I showed you now, underneath I wrote, "I give my all. Take what you can, those who can, as much as you can." I wrote that under the sketch that I made this is what I wrote. "I give my all. Take what you can, those who can, as much as you can." And the person who has stretched her arms like this, she is not even looking down she has her hand there; she does not even bother who is taking how much, just give. I am ready to share. 

Narad: Wonderful.

Dhanvanti: If there is anything that I can give.

Narad: Thank you so much Dhanvanti, It has been a very special evening. Please do come again.

Dhanvanti: I have many nice things to give and I will readily share it.

Narad: Wonderful.