Notes on the Way

5 August 1970

This Consciousness that came more than a year ago, a year and a half now, seems to be working very very hard, very positively, for sincerity. It does not allow "pretence", that one should pretend to be that and not be that. He¹ wants that the thing should be the true thing.

Yes, everything comes up.

It is an excellent mentor for this body, it is giving it lessons continually.... I do not know if all bodies are like that, but this one feels just like a little child and it wants to go to school, it wants to be shown where it is making a mistake and to learn everything. And it is learning constantly. But whatever comes from outside... This is very interesting: the Consciousness, the Consciousness there (gesture upward) is influenced by nothing: it is the witness, it sees, but does not receive; the body still receives vibrations: when certain people come and sit before me, all of a sudden there are pains, things do not go well, but the body knows now (naturally it knows that it is suffering), but it does not blame others, it blames itself; it takes that as indicating the points that are still not solely under the divine influence. And from this point of view the thing is very interesting.... It knows the distance there is between the consciousness of the being which uses it and itself, and it does not suffer for that but is full of a perfect humility, a perfect modesty. And it is not surprised, it is not anxious, because it is: "Let Thy will be done; it is not my affair, I am not capable of judging and I do not try—let Thy will be done." So, the body is like that (gesture, passive and abandoned). And when it disappears, when it is wholly,

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wholly surrendered, does no more exist by itself, then the Force passing through it becomes... sometimes formidable. Sometimes one can see, the witness consciousness can see that there should truly be no limit to the possibilities. But it is not yet that, it is far from that.... It comes as an example of what can be. But... before it becomes spontaneous and natural...

(Long silence)

Do you have anything to say?

I do not know if it is correct, but I have the feeling that there is a certain difference between what was a few years ago and what is now, in your presence with us, if I may say so. For example, formerly I often had the feeling that you were actively with us, or you were actively busy with us; now, I do not know if it is exact but I have rather the feeling that it is left to a force... not impersonal but...

Ah! It is true that much of the activity I have left to this Consciousness. This is true. I let this Consciousness work actively, because... I found that truly it knows. Otherwise, the feeling of nearness with you is much stronger than before—very much stronger. I have almost the feeling that I am moving within you, which I did not have before. But perhaps, before, my consciousness used to put a pressure upon yours; now it must not be doing that any more, because... it is as though I was doing it from within.

Yes, when one is with you, near you, this is evident, one feels it. Yes, one feels that you are within.

Yes, it is that.

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It is quite that, but it is rather when one is physically away that one feels that one is more with something impersonal. I do not know if it is exact.

It may have become impersonal. I have the feeling that even the consciousness of the body has a minimum of the personal in it. At times I no longer have the feeling of the limits of my body.... I do not know how to say it.... Yes, it is that, it is almost as though it had become fluid. And there should no longer be any personal action. But precisely, inside (I do not know how to explain), it is not even something like a person who has become so big as to take others within herself, it is not that: it is a force, a consciousness which is spread over everything. I do not feel any limit, I feel it is a thing spread out, even physically.... It is because of this that if someone comes with a very active critical sense, wanting to observe and judge, it is as though he enters within, you understand, and that upsets one inside.

I do not think the action gives the feeling of a personal action—since long it has been so (that is to say, since the beginning of the year at least). When people write to me saying that they felt I had done this or that for them, I am always taken by surprise. If they said, "The Force has done that" or "The Consciousness has done that", that would appear to me more natural.

What speaks, what observes is a centre of consciousness that is there (gesture up above), but naturally not localised: for communicating through the mouth and the senses, it is there (same gesture). But that has not the character of a personality.... Well, when I am asked the question, "How do you see that?" it takes me a moment to understand the question. I do not feel that it is a person who sees.

Some experiences make me think that this sense of personal limitation is not necessary for physical existence; it is a thing that has to be learnt, but it is not necessary. It was always felt that a defined body was necessary to form separate individualities—it is not necessary. One can live physically without that, the

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body can live without that.... Spontaneously, that is to say, left to its old habits and ways of being, it is difficult; it produces an inner organisation that looks very much like disorder—it is difficult. Well, the problems come up all the while, for everything—everything—there is not a single activity of the body which does not face the question raised by this.² The process is no longer the old one, it is no more what it was; but as it is, it has not become a habit, a spontaneous habit; that is to say, it is not natural, it requires the consciousness to be always on the watch—for everything, even for swallowing food. And that makes life a little difficult—particularly, yes, particularly when I am seeing people. I see a huge number of people (forty, fifty people every day) and each one brings something which necessitates that this Consciousness that works out all this has to adapt itself to the things coming from outside.... And I see, many people fall ill (or think they are ill or seem to get ill or are really so), but it becomes concrete in the body through their way of being, which is the old way; for this new physical consciousness, it can be avoided, but, oh! it means such a difficulty. One must maintain, through a sort of conscious concentration, a condition, a way of being which is not natural according to the old nature, but which is evidently the new way of being. But in that way, illness can be avoided. But it is almost a Herculean task.

It is difficult.

You understand, all the impossibilities, all the "that cannot be, that cannot be done", all that has been swept away; but it is swept away in principle, and it is busy trying to become a fact, a concrete fact.

This is quite recent, that is, after the beginning of this year. And then, there is all the old habit—one might say, ninety years of habit. But the body knows, it knows that it is only a habit.

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