Life-Poetry-Yoga (Vol 3)

Personal Letters by Amal Kiran


22

 

 

 

Sri Aurobindo has said: "Where other Yogas end, my Yoga begins." Will you please tell me briefly what this statement means?

 

This has not been said with any sense of depreciating other Yogas but simply as a matter of fact pointing out the difference of aims. The aim of the other Yogas is, in one way or another, liberation - the freeing of one's self from the workings of physical, vital, mental nature. No doubt, a degree of purification of one's nature was considered essential but no radical change of it was demanded. Sri Aurobindo's Yoga seeks to go beyond liberation and achieve what he terms transformation. For this he calls, on the one hand, upon what he designates as the "psychic being", the inmost soul-power and, on the other hand, upon the highest of a range of more-than-mental powers, which he names "Supermind". This range he terms "overhead" - that is, beyond the level at which the Yogas of liberation ended: the sahasrara chakra, "the thousand-petalled lotus", on the top of the head.

 

In Sri Aurobindo's Yoga, after reaching this level, one has to go further and get the light, consciousness, force and bliss of the highest "overhead" level to work in our mental-vital-physical levels with the collaboration of our psychic being in order to transform them into the Supermind-nature. Therefore Sri Aurobindo names his Yoga the Yoga of supramental descent and transformation. Thus, theoretically, it begins where the other Yogas end. In practical sadhana there could be an interplay of the other Yogas with the Aurobindonian and one may have several experiences of the latter before the liberation aimed at by the former is reached.

 

Sri Aurobindo aims at dynamising in our lives the Supramental Consciousness because he has seen that only in the Supermind there awaits the divine original of not only our mental and vital powers but also of our bodily existence. This


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would successfully counteract


the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to,


just as it would counteract the mind's half-lit ignorance and the life-force's striving incapacity.

 

(1.4.1994)

 

Sri Aurobindo has written: "To look existence in the face is to look God in the face." Will you please interpret this statement?

 

To look in the face means to confront steadily. So to look existence in the face translates to approaching the world and life and their processes without any preconceptions and without any personal reactions but with the aim solely of coming into direct contact with the sheer fact of them as one interconnected whole. Doing this, one gets the feel of them as a challenging universal expression of some mystery that has its primal source and final aim beyond our mind's comprehension. I am reminded of a line in Nirodbaran's poetry which Sri Aurobindo has praised highly:

 

Life that is deep and wonder-vast.

 

Once such a sense is created in our consciousness about existence, we are in the presence of some ultimate Reality we have to come to terms with and be a part of. A wide calm, a quiet courage, a readiness to meet all contingencies, a faith in something or someone far greater than ourselves and yet not essentially alien to us who are included in "existence" - such are the result. This result is a new dimension in our attempt at a deeper self-realisation than our day-to-day experience.

 

(2.4.1994)


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I have to ask your forgiveness for not replying to the several letters you have sent over the last few months. But be assured that your wish that I should appeal to the Mother to help you has always been answered.

 

You speak of losing vitality through contact with people. You have to develop a zone of protection around you. You can do this by a constant act of offering yourself to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo and invoking their will to intervene in your life. An atmosphere of peace and light will then be created, holding you safe within it. Then nothing of outside forces can reach you against your own wish. You will be able to observe things as if from a distance and to deal with them without getting involved.

 

Being an astrologer, you are naturally inclined to give attention to predictions. You have to put a check on your mind. Otherwise you create a state of consciousness in which the things feared from the supposed action of so-called "inauspicious stars" (Shakespeare's phrase) assume a con-creteness and a power to affect you. Carlyle once wrote: "Close your Byron and open your Goethe." He meant the putting aside of the sheer vitalistic urge and the romantic melancholy, and the developing of a mental detachment and an uplifted serenity which would see life as a whole -something of an Olympian temper patiently poised, rather than the Titan mood which runs to extremes. I advise you something similar - with the added touch of a devoted faith in the divine compassion and force with which Sri Aurobindo and the Mother are ready to invest your days. 1 will certainly continue to pray to them at the Samadhi on your behalf. But you have to put yourself in a condition of receptivity to them.

 

I am glad you don't pander to the common superstitions of your astrological clients - propitiation of godlings. It makes me happy to see that you will do nothing that "goes against the basic teachings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, even though it may cause loss of money".

 

You have raised the question: "Is the Mother's grace available only to those who have taken to the practice of the


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Integral Yoga or does it go to all who may have devotion to her and Sri Aurobindo but are not sufficiently prepared to tread their path?" You have mentioned the Gita's Krishna as listing the four types of people who worship him: people who are in distress, people who want prosperity, people who want to know the truth of things and, finally, people who have realised the truth. Your feeling that the Mother's grace, just like Krishna's, answers to the needs of all seeking souls is right. Wherever there is earnestness, the sense of one's own poor show before the Infinite and the Divine, the capacity for gratitude to all that is beyond one's powers, the Mother's loving help responds. But one must understand what this grace aims at. No doubt, again and again it has saviour hands that turn the trend of adverse circumstances and bring a smile to faces that have looked with vacant eyes into the future. But one must guard against the sense one is liable to develop after the crisis is over that somehow it was one's own courageous and clever self that suddenly found a way out. The grace is not something one can substantially assess and prove: it does not leave footprints one can see as definite evidence. The ego in us is always ready to insinuate its own importance. It is essential that we keep our hearts aware of the help received and keep a deep "thank you" ringing after the fortunate turn to events that once foreboded disaster. Not that the Divine feasts on human thanks but the effacement of gratitude stands in the path of the next advent of succouring hands from the secrecies the mind cannot fathom but only the hidden soul suddenly feels. There is no set rule here. The grace may come in spite of recurring ingratitude, for here there is no businesslike balancing of accounts. A luminous wisdom that visions future possibilities and does not merely weigh past and present conditions is at work. Yet, by and large, we may say that we block the passage of the victor light with every complacent pat we give ourselves after we have come out delivered from hopeless-seeming situations. I would say that the grace, over and above pulling us out of such situations, aims at evoking a profound humility in us, ever sensitive to


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the contact of the superhuman with the human, so that we are mindful of the immensity of the unrealised and, in whatever mode possible, perceive the presence of some Perfection overarching our little days.

 

Yes, along with the outflow of its unexpected charity, the Mother means to draw us subtly towards a keener realisation of her blissful and life-refining nearness. However, this mysterious aim has a certain side to it which is liable at times to bewilder us. The Mother has said that her blessings are essentially intended to help the soul in us emerge more and more. And it is not always through success and prosperity and apparent fulfilment that the soul is served. Her blessings are ever benevolent but they may not in every instance bring about what our outer mind desires. Quite often this mind does not know what is good for it. The blessings may give it just the opposite of what it has prayed for. It must learn to receive with gratitude their action, no matter how contrary to its dreams be the appearance of their gifts. Generally we may aver that they have compassion for their recipient and, if one is not well on the way to the practice of spirituality, they may - as the colloquial idiom has it - pull their punches to a fair extent. But where an ardent pilgrim of Eternity is concerned they may serve occasionally to bring one's whole house crashing about one's ears. If one is sincere, one will understand on a back-look how a seeming disaster served to draw one closer to the Divine. It is not for nothing that even common parlance carries the phrase: "blessing in disguise." If one has wholeheartedly asked for the Divine's aid and discovers that a veritable thunder knocks one down, one should not want to "curse God and die", as the legendary Job thought of doing in the midst of his multitude of afflictions. One should offer inwardly even the blight to the Supreme and plead for a flash of light to open one's eyes to the concealed benefaction. Surely, if one's prayer is honest and humble, the revelation will not take long to be bestowed.

 

You have reported a rather frightening state of affairs: "Whenever I shut my eyes and go inward I see that a


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powerful force is trying to deflect my will (literally bending the will) making me incapable of doing the right thing and impelling me to all sorts of undesirable things. I do not know how to get rid of this force. I do not also know whether it is a force from outside which has taken possession of me or some Karmic influence from a previous life. Whatever be the case I would request you to pray to the Mother to drive out the force and give me health, strength and light and enable me to lead the life our Gurus want me to lead." After this paragraph you add:' "My father who is very old is at present suffering from a skin disease and depression. His horoscope indicates difficulties to his wife (my mother), his children {my two younger brothers) and the whole family." This statement suggests that a force from outside you is at work.

 

I can't help saying that you must get rid of your horos-copic obsession. When you take Sri Aurobindo and the Mother as your Gurus, you have to clear your consciousness of every preconception. Their influence tends to pull you out of all past circumstances and outside forces operating at present. Those who are not wholly dedicated to their Yoga may not easily get free of all such factors but some genuine cooperation is surely possible from you. Most probably the obstructing force you speak of has something to do with the imps that are behind the deplorable habit which has been your regret for years. Medical opinion today has changed much from the catastrophic outlook of the early twentieth century on masturbation but those who try to practise Yoga and take stock of subtle occult agencies cannot afford to take so light a view. Not that we should be overburdened with guilt. We are not like the old-time moralists. We think in terms of weaknesses and not of "sins" or "depravities". All the same, we must attempt to steer clear of aberrations.

 

Here the query you have raised about the idea of marriage becomes relevant. But such an idea has some complications when the prospective bridegroom is attempting to do Sri Aurobindo's Yoga in whatever form he can. You have mentioned the difficulty of finding a suitable mate in the


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spiritual sense. I suppose that if you are in a mind to get married you can't afford to be over-particular. If, on the other hand, you have no marked hankering for the married life it is better not to rush into it. In your latest letter you have spoken of the serious responsibility given you by your parents to find an appropriate match for one of your brothers. It's a difficult commission to carry out. Perhaps in the course of doing it you may stumble upon your own life's partner. But if you do, don't pas? her on to your brother who may appreciate a less ethereal-minded bedfellow!

 

Reverting to the force which prevents you from going inward in the right frame of mind I would propose a simple experiment. Put in front of you the photographs of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and keep opening your eyes to them now and again when you practise inward-going. When you shut your eyes let a mantra take shape - the best I can offer is: "Ma-Sri Aurobindo sharanam mama" ("Mother and Sri Aurobindo are my refuge"). I feel sure your way to the inner consciousness will be made smooth and the obstructing force take flight. Furthermore, during your meditation, let the image of Sri Aurobindo's face and that of the Mother's hang before you. with all the associations they bear for you of the Avatar's consciousness. Not only will the hostile influence disappear but there will be a deepening and widening of your being in spontaneous response to our Gurus' look of profound calm and universal compassion. Maybe the right mood will be induced more easily if you can enter into the spirit of the following eight lines, the first four of which revive the greatest aspiration of the past and the next four conjure" up the most comprehensive vision of man's spiritual future.

 

A PRAYER FOR PERFECTION

Out of our darkness lead us into light,

Out of false love to Your truth-piercing height,

Out of the clutch of death to immortal space,

O Perfect One with the all-forgiving face!


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From Your white lustre build the mind anew,

From Your unshadowed bliss draw the heart's hue,

From Your immense bring forth a godlike clay,

O Timeless One self-sought through night and day!


When I sent these lines to the Mother with the words: "May I realise all this one day!", she wrote back in red ink: "One day will surely come."


(8.3.1994)

 

It is stimulating to learn that you and your son have been to Kedarnath and seen the Himalayas. I too had a view of them from the hill of Mussourie where papa and mamma had taken their three kids. I rode on horseback the whole way up from Dehradoon along with my father, a most thrilling adventure, all the more memorable because my defective left leg, strapped to the horse's flank, could allow me only to gallop and the gallop had to skirt precipices throughout the rising 8000 feet of narrow bridle-path. The rest of the family came by the safe conveyance of a sort of palanquin carried on a man's shoulder at either end.

 

When one compares my free movements of those days, and even the movements which were mine through the later years, with the sort of life I lead now, confined to a wheelchair for nearly eighteen hours a day and able to be no more than a "horizontal champion" for the remaining six, the spectacle is most unpleasant from the objective point of view. Still I am gloriously happy and I think my happiness is quite visible. Let me recount a little incident at the Samadhi two days back, which may be somewhat relevant.

 

1was meditating with eyes half shut. I could see the legs of someone standing near me to my left. I opened my eyes and saw a stranger standing and smiling in a very friendly way. He asked me where I had originally come from and how long I had been here. I told him I had come from Bombay long ago. He asked: "Did you come in search of peace?" I answered:


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"No, I came searching for God." He inquired: "Have you found Him?" I simply said: "Yes." He was silent for a moment and then said: "Your face shows it." I was amazed and kept quiet. Then he asked: "How old are you?" I replied: "Nearing ninety." He remarked: "Your face does not show this." I felt quite flattered.

 

When I think why people don't find me looking nearly ninety, I remember an observation made by that grande dame, whose life spanned 1620-1705, Ninon de Lenclos. At eighty she was courted by grandfathers and grandsons alike. She was a beauty untouched by age. I am quite aware that I am fax from being any decorative piece but some non-superficial resemblance may be discerned. When asked what her secret was, Ninon replied: "Placidity of temperament."

 

With this precious mantra whispered in your ear I shall close.

 

(16.4.1994)

 

I am very sorry that your earnest plea for a reply has remained unanswered so long. I can see that you are in right earnest about doing Sri Aurobindo's Yoga, but are not clear enough about certain points of practice.

 

You ask what exactly is meant by "aspiration" and whether it is a feeling or a thought. I would define it as an inner reaching out, by whatever is the most prominent part of your being, towards the sense you have of the Divine. You may imagine the Divine to be in front of you or above you or both and then turn your mind or heart or the two together towards the sacred Presence. You may do this with some aim in view -for instance, getting rid of a particular difficulty in your nature - or else simply as a gesture of love and self-consecration. In this way you put your imperfect human nature into contact with a nature which is calm, pure, compassionate, unlimited, unerring, unegoistic. It is best for you to figure this superhuman Consciousness as a Perfect Supreme Person.

 

Next you inquire about the "psychic Agni": how does one


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kindle this soul-fire and throw one's defects and difficulties into it? You have to start by imagining a luminous Presence within you, a Light which can purify everything. Then into its living flame you throw your weaknesses and troubles. I would add that you must cast in it your strengths and capacities too. For none of our good points are really free of limitations and egoism. All of yourself should go repeatedly into that secret purifying Presence. This means a dedication and offering of the whole self to the true representative of the Divine that is hidden in our depths.

 

You are right in saying that the Mother has spoken of a zone of silence above the head. To be aware of it you have to turn your consciousness upward as if to reflect what is overhead. Imagine that you have no skull and that there is a free open space instead. Then the descent of the silence from above will be facilitated or you will feel more easily drawn up into it. A great sense of freedom from life's petty clinging cares and concerns will come. A preparation will be made for feeling that you are not a small limited individual but part of a wide existence. At its extreme, the experience will be of what a line from a poem of mine shadows forth:

 

Silence that, losing all, grows infinite Self.

 

Or else under the brooding silence the inmost soul in you, the psychic heart behind the emotional centre, finding that the common noises of the world have ceased, will emerge from its sacred solitude and make itself felt as

 

A Fire whose tongue has tasted paradise.

 

Another effect possible of the psychic being's awakening under the over-arching stillness is a growing intensity by which the bounds of our small separate individuality recede until finally there is that liberating phenomenon:

 

The tense heart broken into widenesses.


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Occasionally, as a result of experiencing the silence which the Mother speaks of, a command will be heard out of the seeming void at the top of the head or an urge will spell itself out from the deep heart - a heart not agitated but at peace. To get messages from these mysteries is a part of the Yogic process at its finest, a process of true self-discovery and true self-activation. The influence of such a play of hidden founts will refine and elevate your consciousness, making you a new and better person, a more genuine sadhika.

 

The sensations you have written about - a pressure in your chest and a tingling in your limbs - are not uncommon in the Yogic life. The former has been found to precede the opening of the heart-centre. Some time in the future you will feel as if a wall in your chest has broken down, setting free the wonder that is the psychic being, a source of self-existent bliss. The tingling may have something to do with the coming down of influences from overhead. I know of a case in which the face begins to tingle with the descent of a force and a joy from above. The most common result of overhead action is a pleasurable pain in the head, what a poet might call a heavenly headache. On occasion the Samadhi seems to start an action in several parts of the brain and through these apertures, as it were, a response is evoked from the heart's depth or else a pulling up of the consciousness can take place, detaching one from not only one's own body but also the very world to which that body belongs. There are people who feel a golden light pressing into them through the head. In the early days when I was a tyro and used to watch people doing meditation, I saw again and again my friend Purani's neck swelling on both sides as if to sustain the downward pressure of a tremendous force from overhead. The downward force can also be felt to enter the head like a bar of shining steel which could make one dizzy. But usually the divine power suits itself to the needs and capacities of the sadhak. In any case the Yoga proves to be a physical no less than a psychological working. But whether physical or psychological it will miss its aim if it does not bring about a change of one's


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common outer character as a consequence of a working on one's inner being. How much equarLimity, how much serenity are established in one's day-to-day living? - how much of disinterested action is one capable of as an outflow of one's self-offering to the Divine - how far can one spontaneously communicate Sri Aurobindo's Himalayan height of eternal guardianship or the Mother's ever-bright flow of many-featured grace like a golden Ganges carrying its multitudinous laughter over miles and miles of lowland? Such are the questions that really matter.

 

I hope you have forgiven me for my inexplicable delay.

 

(23.4.1994)


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