Champaklal Speaks

21 February 1929

Most Respectful Father,

Yesterday, at 4 o'clock in the morning, when Mother opened the door for me to enter and I looked at her, I felt that she was displeased with me. Again, when I went for Darshan and did my pranams, I felt the same. It affected me badly. I tried to find the reason for her displeasure but failed. Could you please tell me the reason? This morning, when Mother opened the door and I looked at her, she did not even look at me. I was disturbed. When I came to offer my pranams at your feet at Darshan time, you showered your Grace on me by putting your hands on my head again and again. I was fall of joy and felt your abounding compassion. But I could not maintain this condition for long only because the thought of Mother's displeasure was troubling me too much.

There was absolutely not the slightest feeling of displeasure, disapproval or any kindred feeling towards you in the mind of the Mother on these occasions. You must be on your guard against these suggestions, for they easily rise, if accepted, with the object of clouding the consciousness. Sometimes it may be the Mother has to be serious or concentrated, not to spread herself outwards as usual, either because there has been a great strain and she is tired or because of some attack in the general atmosphere. It is possibly on such occasions that the sadhaks take her seriousness or inwardness as personal displeasure towards them, but this is a great mistake. You must learn to reject these impressions altogether when they come.

21.2.1929

Sri Aurobindo