Champaklal Speaks

Portrait That was not to Be

1949-03-25

When Mother came to Sri Aurobindo's room as usual, I said to her in Sri Aurobindo's presence: “Mother, there is a great chance for you to make the best portrait in the world!”

Mother: “What, what? What did you say?”

C: “Mother, you do a portrait of Sri Aurobindo and that indeed will be the best in the world.”

Mother became serious and repeated: “What?”

C: “If you do not go down for Pranam for two days and utilise that time for doing Sri Aurobindo's portrait, how nice it would Mother!”

Mother: “No, not possible.” She became more serious, obviously to prevent me from arguing any further. But I persisted “Mother, once you promised me.”

Mother: “When?”

C: “Mother, do you remember a headmaster from Madras¹ who used to come here and once distributed badges with your and Sri Aurobindo's photographs?” Mother stopped me from continuing and exclaimed: “Oh, old stories!”

Sri Aurobindo: “What?” Mother told him the whole story of badges and what she had said to me at that time. Sri Aurobindo laughed. Though Mother was serious, he seemed to be enjoying the whole thing.

Then Mother went to the next room for putting eau de cologne in the wash-bowl for Sri Aurobindo. I followed her as usual, And there too I continued: “Mother, I have not given up hope. Mother take one full week, do not go down, and do it little by little every day. Everyone will be very happy when the reason for Mother's not going down is known.”

Mother: “If I do it, it will be an oil-painting, not in water colours. But you see now it is war-time and it is difficult to get the required colours.”

C: “Mother, I will try and get them.”

Mother: “And it cannot be done little by little.”

C: “Then it is very good. Mother, you do it as you want to do it.”

When I came back to Sri Aurobindo's room, he smiled and asked me: “What! You have convinced her?”

C: “Mother has said she will do it in oil colours if the colours can be procured.”

Sri Aurobindo said, “Oh!” and smiled happily.

Later while going down, I told Mother what Sri Aurobindo had asked me.

Mother: “Nobody in the world can convince me.” She said it with an emphasis that was new to me. Do you know why it was new to me? I believed, and still do, that there is one person who has taken birth at present in this world who can convince her. C: “But I take it that Mother has granted my request.” Mother gave me an affectionate look and smiled. Subsequently I spoke to Jayantilal to arrange for the colours. But nothing was done.² Then, in my usual way, I left it to the Divine Will.

Long afterwards, I narrated all this to Jayantilal. He said that he did not know that the colours were needed for this purpose. I did not discuss it further, though I remember that I had explained everything fully to him. But I know Jayantilal and have full trust in him. Nothing can be done when the Divine Will is not there. Without His Will not even a leaf can move. The portrait was not to be—that is all. I believe that we, that is to say, humanity, were not ready for it.