Champaklal Speaks

Steadfast and Meticulous

I was not 'educated' in the sense the word is commonly used. Yet Sri Aurobindo showered his infinite grace on me and called me to his Ashram. My ideas were indeed somewhat conservative and I was, and still am to some extent, quite temperamental. I did not possess the insight to see things in the overall perspective nor was I aware in those days that one ought to have such a comprehensive view. It was Mother who taught me this. I still lack that integrality, but when it is necessary, she herself will grant it to me. Of course, I was not absolutely stupid. Whenever someone tried to clarify his point I kept myself open to understand it, and I acted with equality and love to the best of my ability. However, when I came in contact with others I often felt that they could not understand me. It was said, “Champak is obstinate and trying; once he decides to do something he does not let go.”

I remember Mother once commented about this aspect of my nature to Sri Aurobindo, just by observing me from far.

When Sri Aurobindo lived in Library House, the present Fruit Room was his dining room. Nolini, Amrita, Bijoy and Moni, who lived in Library House, also dined with him. One day while eating, Sri Aurobindo said, “Mirra (as Mother was then called) told me that Champaklal has a steadfast and meticulous mind. It is the first time she has found such a mind in an Indian.”

Later, one of those four told it to Purani who narrated it to Punamchandbhai but told him not to tell me as it might make me proud and hinder my progress. But Punamchandbhai told me. On hearing it I could not see what was there to make me proud or hinder my progress. On the contrary, I was happy to know that at least Mother understood me—the one whom all had called obstinate and trying she had found steadfast and meticulous.

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother are my All; they alone are my aradhyadeva, the Form of the Divine that I worship. Whatever they have taught me, through words or gestures or writing, I follow to my utmost capacity. In actual fact, it is they who make me do it and it is by their grace that it is done.

Nowadays when someone observes my reactions and then shows me some writing of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, saying, “This is what they have said” or quotes them from memory, if I find it appropriate I do accept it. But if I don't accept it, it does not mean I consider what Sri Aurobindo and Mother have said to be wrong, but that the time has not yet come for me to follow it. When the time comes for me to put it into practice, they themselves will make me do it and that I believe absolutely. What has been written to others cannot be wrong, but it is possible that it is not meant for me.