A Captive of Her Love
This book is a collection of letters, poems and paintings by Janina Stroka, a Polish disciple of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and a member of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry, India, from 1957 until her passing in 1964. Janina’s account of her life in Pondicherry in this book is divided into three parts. The main part of the text consists of extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany, from December 1957 to June 1958. The letters in the next section were written between 1960 and 1963 to a young Bengali, a writer and social worker. Next, the book contains selected poems and paintings by Janina and concludes with a comment by the Mother on Janina’s passing.
- Introduction
- Mother On Janina
- Letter of 18.12.1957
- Letter of 22.12.1957
- Letter of 24.12.1957
- Letter of 29.12.1957
- Letter of 30.12.1957
- Letter of 7.1.1958
- Letter of 8.1.58
- Letter of 20.1.58
- Letter of 6.2.1958
- Letter of 24.2.1958
- Letter of 1.4.1958
- Letter of 2.4.1958
- Letter of 6.4.1958
- Letter of 12.4.1958
- Letter of 13.4.1958
- Letter of 15.4.1958
- Letter of 17.4.1958
- Letter of 28.4.1958
- Letter of 27.5.1958
- Letter of 31.5.1958
- Letter of 20.6.1958
- Letter of 30.6.1958
- Poems
- Drawings and Paintings
20.6.1958
Today I have a meat holiday. Tripura's husband has his birthday and he did not want any meat. So I gave more time to the "garden". It is so funny - a garden in flower-pots. Everything grows so quickly - you cannot imagine - but there are also more different pests to be fought than in Europe.
I do my work and practise being only a witness. It will be so: I shall sit in a corner of Her Heart and adore Her. She will do all the work, and think in me and feel in me and I shall look at it with wonder and admiration. In a way - maybe - it is already so. But sometimes it is all so overwhelming that I hardly believe that it is. I remember how often I was reading and repeating to myself in Poland, "In order to stand aside, you must know yourself as the
Purusha (conscious being; essential being supporting
the play of Prakrit (Nature or cosmic energy))
who merely watches, consents to God's work, upholds the Adhar and enjoys the fruits that God gives." But at that time I never grasped that it means I shall really be doing nothing. When I say that, maybe, it already is, I mean that I feel Her doing the work - not that the channel is clean.
I want to go to the library today and read some of the psalms from the Bible, the ones where the human soul, being at peace, adores the Lord. So I feel, I aspire for more and more true, deep humility. How can I stand before my Lord without perfect humility? She is the Lord together with Sri Aurobindo. She is transforming my love for Her so that I can....
