This is a study covering the entire thread of the work of both Sri Aurobindo & The Mother. It is a brief account of the inner heart & core of Their chosen task.
7
A momentous stage was reached. An irreversible stage was reached. The whole work, the real work of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, was to open up the consciousness of the cells by fixing the supramental consciousness in the body-consciousness. This work was done; the rest was a secondary consequence. As Mother said: 'It must be "worked out" as one says, it has to be realised in all details, but the change IS DONE—the change is done.... The physical is CAPABLE of receiving the Superior Light, the Truth, the true consciousness and to ma-ni-fest it.' Again, as Mother said: 'Still one must struggle, one must have patience, courage, .will, confidence,—but it is no longer "like that". It is the old thing which tries to cling—hideous! Hideous. But... it is no longer like that. It is no longer like that.... And everything— everything, all circumstances are as catastrophic as they can be: problems, complications, difficulties, everything—everything is dead set against it like that, like ferocious beasts, but... it is over. The body KNOWS that it is over. It may take centuries, but it is over. To disappear, it might take centuries, but it is over.'
Mother said that it might take centuries to 'work out' in all its details; Sri Aurobindo had said that it would take at least three hundred years. But the supramental consciousness imparts to the evolutionary movement an unimaginable acceleration to the process of transformation. It does not stop anywhere, it moves on as rapidly as possible towards the point where the transformation would be instantaneous.
The onward journey of the Mother was towards the total transformation of the body, so that even the residue of the old would undergo the change. In this process, Mother will make many new discoveries, she will pass through a hell of resistances of the old world,— even after building up in her body a new body of the awakened cells where there is no 'life' and 'death' but 'overlife'. A perilous journey it was—and we shall describe here in Mother's own words some of these resistances and discoveries.
Page 199
Let us begin with Mother's experience of 19th November, 1969, where she gives us the essential equations of the supramental consciousness as experienced by her body-consciousness.
19 November 1969
This morning at about eight o'clock, I would have been able to tell you a number of things....
Because there was a day when a number of problems were posed as a result of something which had occurred... then this morning (at the end of the night), I have had the experience which was the explanation. And for two hours, I lived in an absolutely clear perception (not a thought: a clear perception) of... the why and how of the creation. It was so luminous! so clear! it was irrefutable. And this lasted at least four to five hours, and then there was a decantation; little by little, the experience diminished in intensity and clarity... And since then I have seen a lot of people pie, so... it's difficult to explain now.
But everything had become so limpid! All the contrary theories, all that could be found there below (Mother looks from above), and all the explanations, all that Sri Aurobindo has said, and also certain things that Theon had said, all that, as a consequence of the experience: each thing in its place and absolutely clear. At that moment, I could have told you, now it's going to be a little difficult.
Indeed, many things that Sri Aurobindo had said have remained... in spite of all that one has read, and all the theories and all the explanations, there was something which had remained (how to say?) difficult to explain (it's not 'explaining', that, it's so small). For example, suffering and the will to inflict suffering, this aspect of the Manifestation. There was a sort of prevision of the original identity of hate and love, because this went to the extremes, but for all the rest, it was difficult. Today, it was so luminously simple, that's it! So evident!... (Mother looks at a note which she had written). Words are nothing. And then I had written with a pencil which writes badly....
I do not know if you can see these words. They represented something very exact for me; now, they are nothing but words....
It's not I who write, that is to say, it's not the ordinary consciousness, and the pencil.... I do not know any more what I have put.
Page 200
(Mother tries to read but in vain)
It was the vision of the creation: the vision, the comprehension, the why, the how, the goal, all was there, all together, and clear—clear—clear.... You know, I was in a golden glory—luminous, dazzling.
Indeed, there was the earth as the representative centre of the creation, and in that case it was the identity of the inertia of the stone (like something most inert), and besides.,. (Mother tries again to read).
I do not know if it will come.
I remember that around 7.30 in the morning (it was at that moment that I wrote), I called you in thought, because I said: 'If you were here, I could say it to you.' It was the VISION.
(Mother remains concentrated for a long time)
One could say it like this (for the facility of expression, I will say: the 'Supreme' and the 'creation'). In the Supreme, there is a unity which contains all the possibilities perfectly united, without differentiation. The creation, is, so to say, the projection of all that constitutes that unity, by dividing the opposites, that is to say by separating (this is what was understood by him who has said that the creation was the separation), by separating: for example, day and night, white and black, evil and good, etc. (All that, it's our explanation). All that, all that taken together, is a perfect unity, immutable and... indissoluble. The creation, it is the separation of all which 'constitutes' that unity—one could call it the division of the consciousness—, the division of the consciousness, which then goes from the unity conscious of its unity, to arrive at the conscious unity which is conscious of its multiplicity IN UNITY.
And then, this is the journey which, for us—for the fragments—, is translated by space and time.
And for us such as we are, each point of this Consciousness has the possibility of becoming conscious of itself AND conscious of the original Unity. And that, that's the work which is being accomplished, that is to say each infinitesimal element of that Consciousness is in the process of rediscovering the original total consciousness, while keeping that state of consciousness—and the result is the original Consciousness conscious of its Unity AND conscious of the whole play: all the innumerable elements of that
Page 201
Unity. So, for us, this translates itself by the sense of time: to go from the Inconscient to that state of consciousness. And the Inconscient is the projection of the original Unity (if one can say so: all these words are altogether idiotic), of the essential unity which is only conscious of its Unity—this is the Inconscient. And . that Inconscient becomes more and more conscious in those beings who are conscious of their infinitesimal existence AND AT THE SAME TIME—through what we call progress or evolution or transformation,—who succeed in becoming conscious of the original Unity.
And this, as it was seen, it explained everything,
Words are nothing.
All—all, from the most material to the most ethereal thing, All was included into it, clear—clear—clear: a vision,
And evil, that which we call 'evil', has its INDISPENSABLE place in the totality. And it would no more be felt as evil from the minute one becomes conscious of That—necessarily. Evil is that infinitesimal element which looks at its infinitesimal consciousness; but because consciousness is essentially ONE, it takes it up again, it regains the Consciousness of the Unity—both together. And it's that, IT'S THAT which is to be realised. It's that marvellous thing. I have had the vision: at that moment there was the vision of THAT.... And from the very beginnings (is it 'beginnings'?), what one calls in English outskirts [periphery], that which is most remote from the central realisation, that becomes the multiplicity of things, and the multiplicity also of sensations, of sentiments, of all—the multiplicity of the consciousness. And it's that action of separation which has created, which creates the world constantly, and which at the same time creates all; suffering, happiness, all— all—all which is created, by its... what one could call 'diffusion'; but it's absurd, it's not a diffusion—we ourselves live with the sense of space, so we say diffusion and concentration, but it's nothing of the sort.
And I understood why Theon said that we were in the age of 'Equilibrium'; that is to say that it is by the equilibrium of all these innumerable points of consciousness and of all these opposites, that the central Consciousness finds itself again... And all that one says is idiotic—at the same time while I am saying this, I see how it is idiotic; but there is no other way of doing it. It's something... something which is SO CONCRETE, so true, indeed, so ab-so-lu-te ty.... THAT.
Page 202
During the time I lived it, it was... But perhaps I could not have said it at the time. This (Mother points to her note), I was obliged to take a paper and to write, and it is to the extent that I do not any more know what I have written.... The first thing that was written was this:
Stability and change
It was the idea of the original Stability (so to say) which, in the Manifestation, translates itself by inertia. And development translates itself by change. Well. Afterwards, this came:
Inertia and transformation
But it's gone. The sense is gone—the words had a meaning! .
Eternity and progress
They were opposites (these three things).
Then there was a break (Mother draws a line under the triple opposition}, and once again, a Pressure, and then I wrote this:
Unity = ...
(There follow three illegible words)
And this, it was much more the true expression of the experience, but it is illegible—I believe that it was deliberately illegible. One has to have the experience in order to be able to read it.
(the disciple tries to read)
It seems to me that there is the word 'repose?
Ah! it must be that. Repose and....
(Mother enters into a concentration)
Is it not 'power"?
Oh! Yes! 'Power and repose combined’.
Page 203
Yes, that's it.
It's not I who have chosen these words, so they must have a "special force (when I say 'myself, I mean the consciousness which is there: gesture showing high above); it's not that consciousness. It was something that put a pressure on me, which obliged me to write.
(Mother recopies her note)
__________________
Unity = power and repose
combined.
This is the idea that these two, combined, brought back that state of consciousness which wanted to express itself.
This was on the scale of the universe—not on the scale of the individual.
I am putting a line between the two in order to say that it did not come at the same time.
I remember, I had written the two (power and repose) and the two points to express that they were together, then the word 'combined' came.
... it was really a Glory in which I lived during those hours of the morning,
And then, all—all, all our notions, all, even the most intellectual, all that had become like... as though they were childish. And it was so obvious that one had the impression: there is no need to say it!
... There are no CONTRARIES. No contraries—not even contradictions, I say; no contraries. It is that Unity, it is to LIVE in that Unity. And this does not translate itself by thoughts or words. I tell you, it was... an immensity without limit and a light... a light without movement, and at the same time, a feeling of well-being... without even an appreciation of well-being.
Now, I am convinced that it's that, the supramental consciousness.
And necessarily, necessarily, little by little, this ought to change
Page 204
the appearances.
(long silence)
There is no word which can express the magnificence of the Grace: how all is combined in order that all moves as quickly as possible. And individuals are miserable to the extent to which they are not conscious of 'that', and they take a false position in regard to what happens to them.¹
In continuation of the above experience, we have, it seems, the following account which Mother gave to Satprem on 25th February, 1970:
It has become very interesting, only I cannot speak... (Mother coughs) and it's better not to speak.
Very interesting.
I spent the whole of last night with Sri Aurobindo, but with a WORLD of explanations. He made me understand a lot of things, but absolutely... really extraordinary. And practical: on the present state of things.... Not to speak, it's for that reason that I am coughing, it's deliberate(!)
It is extraordinarily interesting.
(silence)
A detailed demonstration of the difference between the two states of consciousness.
He explained to me, among other things, and in a manner absolutely practical and positive, that the cause of all the maladies, disorders, conflicts, here, in the material world, is that the two movements which are simultaneous—one is the movement of duration (that which one could call Stability) and the other, the movement of transformation—, the two movements in the original Consciousness are one and they are not in contradiction; and I was shown how (not with thought: with consciousness), here,
________________________________
¹Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 10, 19.11.1969.
Page 205
they are separated, and it's that which is the cause of death. It's because they cannot harmonise with each other—they do not know how to harmonise with each other: they can, but they do not know. One is the movement of transformation, and the other, the movement of stability. When they are not in harmony, and when they are not where they ought to be, that produces a rupture of equilibrium and the being dies—things die, everything dies—, because of that. But said in this way, it does not have any sense. It's the experience of the thing which is given... and this, also, the cough and all that—all that, all—, it's so simple! It's so obvious once you have the experience.
One could say (almost say) that if the two could find the equilibrium of their simultaneous existence, that would recreate the Divine.... He is in us, but not harmonised.
At least four hours with Sri Aurobindo, last night... Oh! Extraordinary—extraordinary, everything shown, everything explained.¹
***
If stability and the process of transformation could be continuously maintained in a state of equilibrium, death could not occur, or else there would be no necessity of death, and death could occur only by a voluntary will to terminate a given individual form. In a transformed body, there would be perpetual equilibrium, and therefore there would be the immortality of the body or a continuous renewal of the body preserving the individual form or changing that form according to the will. Mother's body was rapidly moving towards that state of the transformed body. And the process was a 'methodical' work in which one part after the other and all the parts and all the groups of cells would learn the real life or 'superlife'.
Mother called this work a colossal work. There were moments when the body felt immeasurable force, and there were moments when the body could not even keep itself standing. And this was for a reason that was not physical, for the body no more obeyed the same laws that keep us on our feet.² In a conversation with Satprem
_________________________________
¹Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 11, 25.2.1970.
² Ibid., 18.4.1970.
Page 206
on 9th May, 1970, Mother saw in her subtle physical her new body, how it would be! It was a body not very different but extremely refined, and it had an orange colour. The body was vibrant, and it had a kind of luminosity. The skin was 'efflorescent'.
As she said:
And it was that: no sex, neither man or woman—no sex. It was a form like that (Mother draws a silhouette in space, very slender)....¹
Gradually, one part of Mother's body began to form within itself a new body. But the process was extremely painful. During August 1970, her body fought with death. It was a repetition of the turning points of 1962 and 1968. In conversations with Satprem on 2nd and 5th September, 1970, she said:
... the little body is like a point, but it has the feeling of being the expression of a FORMIDABLE power. And it's... like that: no capacity, no expression, nothing—and rather... rather miserable. And yet... there is like a condensation—condensation—, like a condensation of a FORMIDABLE power!... Sometimes it even has trouble withstanding it, you know....
It's as though all the experiences have increased a hundredfold....
......
And besides my legs hurt...
That's what is tiring... It's twenty-four hours a day, you see, and no... no possibility to really rest....
If I let myself go, I would scream....
Terrible.... And then that night, I was saying to myself: yes, this is what hell is like.
Terrible—it's terrible.
I don't know why I had to go through this.... Because it meant that death wasn't a solution, you see. That, it was frightening....
It's so horrible... I am tempted to say: pray for me.²
Then she recovered. But five months later, the second blow fell. It was a paralysis of the leg. For at least three weeks, there was constant
_________________________
¹ Ibid., 9.5.1970.
² Ibid; 2.9.1970 and 5.9.1970.
Page 207
pain, night and day, twenty four hours a day, without any fluctuation whatsoever. The right leg also was being caught. When this happened, she concentrated tremendously, and she walked for a long, long time to keep it from being caught also. She overcame after several weeks. Gradually, the leg was not in pain, and it came back to normal.
Mother could always exteriorise herself from her body, but for some special reason there was an inner order that prohibited her during this period of physical sadhana to exteriorise herself. It was perhaps an inner insistence so that the solution to the problem of transformation could be found in the body itself. As Mother had once said: 'Salvation is physical.'
During this entire process of transformation of the physical, Mother often said that while the total physical transformation is certain, there was no definitiveness or assurance as to whether it would be in the near future or much later.¹ Actually, Mother had, several times, said that the process would take three centuries, and that there would be several intermediate stages or intermediate bodies.
* * *
Another important problem connected with the physical transformation was the relationship between the physical ego (ego-sense of the physical) and the life of the body. Mother found that the dissolution of the physical ego was a necessary part of the process of the physical transformation, and that the disappearance of the physical ego was not an insuperable bar to the continuance of the physical life. In Mother's words:
... And the disappearance of that [physical] ego... for a long time one has had the impression that if the ego disappears, the being disappears, the form disappears—but that's not true! It isn't true. In any case, it has become ready [Mother's body] to live without an ego.... The trouble is that life's ordinary laws no longer hold. Which means all the old habit, plus the new thing to be learned.
________________________________________
¹See Mother's Agenda, Vol. 12, p. 87—where Mother says: 'For me, Victory is certain, but I don't know... if it's tomorrow or... (gesture into the distance).
I don't know what road we will take to get there.
Victory is certain, that's obvious, but what road we are going to take to get there?...
Page 208
It is as if the cells—not the body's cells: the organization that makes up the form (that holds everything together and makes up a form, a form we call human), it's as if that had to learn it can go on living without the sense of separate individuality. Curious. Without the sense of ego. While for thousands of years it's been accustomed to existing separately only because of the ego—without ego it goes on... according to another law the body doesn't yet know, and which... it finds incomprehensible. It has nothing to do with a will, it's not... I don't know... a something... a way of being. But then, billions of ways of being.
It has to learn to be a certain way of being.¹
While commenting on the above after a fortnight, Mother said:
Oh, that [the dissolution of the ego] is perfect;... it's my everyday experience, every minute, all the time....
You know, it's my experience every minute, for every single thing, constantly: for rest, for activity, for food, for everything, for action with people, for everything, everything; it's a kind of... I could almost say a possession by the Divine. And my body senses that it exists only like this (fists clenched, clinging to the Divine): without That, there is nothing. Ah, the experience is constant and total! ²
Mother's body had become a veritable battlefield in which there were rapid oscillations and transitions from one side to the other, from one stage to the other. Mother has described these oscillations and transitions in her conversations with Satprem. We may refer, in particular, to the following:
A strange experience. It's a strange experience. The body feels it no longer belongs to the old way of being, but it knows that it is not yet in the new one and that it is.... It is no longer mortal and it is not yet immortal. It's quite strange. Very strange. And sometimes, I go from the most dreadful discomfort to... a marvel—it's strange. An unutterable bliss. It's no longer this, and it's not yet
___________________
¹Ibid., pp. 159-60.
² Ibid., p. 166.
Page 209
that. Well. Bizarre (Mother nods her head).
There is a sort of promise of an overwhelming Power, and at
the same time signs of such weakness—not weakness: disorganization. Disorganization, and at the same time the sense of an overwhelming Power. So the two are like this (gesture of being in a precarious balance). It's a disorganization in the sense that if I don't pay attention, I can't eat, for instance. I have to pay attention, I have to be concentrated all the time, concentrated in order to do things. Sometimes, not a word in my head, nothing; sometimes I see and know what is happening everywhere.
It's like this (same gesture as on a ridge).
I have to be careful when I am with people, otherwise they would think I am going crazy! (laughter)
It's really peculiar. A sort of total impotence and an overwhelming power side by side. And the results of the overwhelming power are sometimes visible in people here and there: all of a sudden, miraculous things happen. But at the same time... sometimes I can't even eat. It's strange.¹
It's really interesting, it's as if my body were a battlefield between what obstinately wants to stay and what wants to take its place. There are such marvellous moments—glorious moments— and then, a second later, a minute later, such a violent attack! It's like that. And my body is.... For food, for instance, there are times when I eat without even noticing I am eating, except that everything tastes delicious; and then a second later, I can't swallow a thing! It's like this (gesture of tugging from one side or the other). So the only solution I have is to be as QUIET as possible. As soon as I am quiet, it feels better. It's as if.... All of a sudden you have the impression that you are about to die, and a minute later, it's... it's eternity. Really an extraordinary experience. Extraordinary. Sometimes everything, everything seems so foggy, dark—there's no hope, no possibility of seeing clearly—and a minute later, everything becomes clear.²
¹ Ibid., pp. 246-7.
² Ibid., p. 298.
Page 210
You see, the consciousness is still like this (gesture of oscillating from one side to the other). Both are there. So.... But then I can't find a way to make myself understood, because new words would have to be invented.
That's increasing from day to day.
It's like at night: I don't sleep and I am not awake.... And I don't know how to describe what it is. And when it's normal, it could... it can last indefinitely, there's no sense of time or fatigue or duration. When the old consciousness comes back, there's almost unbearable suffering: I am suffocating or I can't breathe, or it's too cold or too hot, all sorts of things... which are aggravated by a consciousness which shouldn't be there anymore. So quite naturally and effortlessly, I am in the new state, but if I am drawn into the old consciousness by circumstances, it becomes almost unbearable. You see. And it results in pains in the body or... a body malfunction. But when I enter the new consciousness, everything takes place quite... without my even noticing it and without any effort.
That's all I can say for the moment.
You see, my body is full of pains and malfunctions, but as soon as I go into that state (vast, peaceful gesture) everything is done—time doesn't exist anymore. Time is endless in the old consciousness, while it doesn't exist in this one. I don't know how to describe it.
Being flowery, I would say: the old consciousness is like... it's death, it's as if you were going to die any minute: you suffer, you... it's the consciousness that leads to death. And the other one (vast, immutable, smiling gesture) is life... peaceful life, eternal life. Yes, that's it ¹
Now, the body has the conviction that only death can stop its transformation. So it's impossible. Only some kind of violent death, an 'accident' (well...) could stop the transformation, otherwise the work is being done regularly, regularly (gesture of irresistible advance).
_________________
¹Ibid, p. 302.
Page 211
It's like that, the body is convinced of it now, that only violence could stop it—but then if that happens, it's certainly because it had to happen, you see, for some reason... which it has no desire to know, it doesn't care a button. But otherwise, as long as it's here, it knows that the work will go on and on and on... in spite of everything. That's it.¹
I heard (yesterday, I think, or the day before) a letter of Sri Aurobindo's in which he said that for the Supermind to be fixed here (he had noticed that the Supermind came into him and withdrew, came back and withdrew—it wasn't stable), so he said: to become stable, it has to enter and settle in the physical mind.² And that's just the work being done in me for months now: the mind had been removed, and the physical mind is taking its place, and for some time I had noticed that it was... (I told you that it was seeing everything in a different way, that its relationship with things was different), I have been noticing these past few day; that the physical mind, the mind that is in the body, was becoming vast, its visions were comprehensive, and its whole way of seeing was absolutely different (Mother extends her arms in at immense, quiet gesture). I saw, that's it: the Supermind is working there. And I spend extraordinary hours.
What is left is just the things that resist—you feel (I told you this) that it's as if every minute (and it's getting more and more pronounced), every minute: do you want life, do you want death; do you want life, do you want death?... That's how it is. And life is union with the Supreme. And consciousness, a COMPLETELY new consciousness is coming. That's how it is, like this (Mother makes a gesture of swinging from one side to the other). But yesterday or the day before, I don't know, all of a sudden the body said, 'No! I am through—I want life, I don't want anything else.' And since then I've felt better.
Oh, it would take volumes to narrate what is happening. It's... remarkably interesting, and ENTIRELY new. Entirely new.³
_____________________________
¹ Ibid., p. 323.
² Actually, Mother means the bodily mind.
³ Ibid., pp. 343-4.
Page 212
I have the impression that I am on the way to discovering... the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life can be uninterrupted—discovering that death comes from a... a distortion of consciousness. That's it.
It's this close, you know (Mother makes a gesture as if she were about to grasp the secret).
And as I told you, sometimes I feel that the great number of years makes the work somewhat more difficult, but taken on the whole, it is a GREAT help—I understood that were I young, I could never have done what I am doing. And when I am in the true consciousness, the moment I am in the true consciousness, the number of years is nothing!—The body feels so young, so full of... something else than young (for it, young is immature and ignorant, it's not that), it's... you're in communion with 'something'... which changes according to the need.
Our language (or our consciousness) is... inadequate. Later I'll be able to say.
Something IS HAPPENING—that's all I can say....¹
There was a gradual expansion of the body of the awakened cells in Mother's gross body, and organ by organ or part by part was being transferred to the rule of the Supermind. There was still the residue of coarse matter, where the battle was being fought. There was already transformed matter in Mother's body—the matter which had a different air and a different manner of being, the matter which had uninterrupted life and which can be physically visible to the physical eyes which have a different way of seeing. 'My body is no more mortal and yet not immortal,'² Mother said towards the end of 1971. Three months later, she said:
If you like, I could say that at each minute you feel you can either live eternally or die (gesture of a slight tilt from one side to the other). Every minute is like that. And the difference [between the two] is so slight that you can't say: Do this and you'll be on this side, do that and you'll be on the other—not possible. It's a way of being almost beyond description.³
¹Ibid., pp. 348-9.
² Ibid., p. 246.
³ Ibid., p. 341.
Page 213
In the political field, there were many leaders who were approaching Mother for guidance and help. This movement was increasing day by day, and during 1971, when the situation in Bangla Desh took an ugly turn, Generals of the Army and many leaders in the Government of India turned to Mother for help, advice and blessings for positive action. In the early part of 1971, Mother had, in reply to a request from the then Prime Minister of India, sent a message: 'The recognition of Bangla Desh is imperative and urgent.' Finally, there was a war, and India emerged victorious.
The Prime Minister wrote the following letter to Mother:
Revered Mother,
Through these critical months I have thought constantly of you. I can find no words with which to express my gratitude for your support. Your blessings are a great source of strength. Our difficulties are not over....
... The American administration is most upset that its calculations were so completely wrong, and they will use their power to try to humble us and specially to create division between Bangla Desh and ourselves.
I think our nation has taken a step towards maturity. Yet there are many who look only to today. If India is to be great we must improve the quality of the minds of our people. I know that this is your desire. In my humble way I am trying to do what I can.
With respectful regards,
Yours sincerely,
Indira Gandhi
Mother sent the following reply:
To Indira
With blessings.
India must be proud of your leadership.
Let the country take its true place
Page 214
in the world for showing the way
towards the supreme Truth.
with love
Mother¹
It was evident that the political life, too, was getting increasingly prepared to be guided and permeated by the action of the supermind.
Summarising the entire path that she had followed, Mother said in a conversation with Satprem towards the close of 1971:
The fastest way for me was... (how shall I put it?) the growing sense of my own nonentity—nonexistence. To feel I could do nothing, knew nothing, wanted nothing; but then the WHOLE being filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), an inescapable fact: 'Without the Divine, nothing, nothing—I am nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine, nothing.' To be like this (same gesture, hands open). And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful!....
But first there must be an absolute sincerity, that is, a CONVICTION: I am nothing, nothing, nothing—I can do nothing, I know nothing, I have absolutely NOTHING... (Mother raises an index finger) except the Divine. Then it's all right....
Only, there is no place for fear—if you're afraid, it becomes dreadful. Fortunately my body is not afraid.²
Mother went on and on, and where's the end? 1972 and 1973 were the last two years of her physical and visible life, and they, too, showed the same curve of transitions and difficulties of the process of physical transformation. But her body sensitivity had become so excessive that her body had the need to be protected from all that came from outside—as though it had to work within, like in a protective egg.
______________
¹Ibid. p. 351.
². Ibid. pp. 352-3.
Page 215
On 24th March, 1972, Mother had a second vision of the 'new body'.
Yes, I WAS like that. It was me; I didn't look at myself in a mirror, I say myself like this (Mother bends her bead to look at her body), I was... I just was like that.
... It was around four in the morning, I think. And perfectly natural—I mean, I didn't look in a mirror, it felt perfectly natural. I only remember what I saw (gesture from the chest to the waist). I was covered only with veils, so I only saw.... What was very different was the torso, from the chest to the waist: it was neither male nor female.
But it was lovely, my form was extremely svelte and slim—slim but not thin. And the skin was very white, just like my skin. A lovely form. And no sex—you couldn't tell: neither male nor female. The sex had disappeared.
The same here (Mother points to her chest), all that was flat. I don't know how to explain it. There was an outline reminiscent of what is now, but with no forms (Mother touches her chest), not even as much as man's. A very white skin, very smooth. Practically no abdomen to speak of. And no stomach. All that was slim.
I didn't pay any special attention, you see, because I was it felt perfectly natural to me....
But this form is in the subtle physical, isn’t it?
It must be already like that in the subtle physical.
But how will it pass into the physical?
That's the question I don't know.... I don't know.
I don't know.
Also, clearly, there was none of the complex digestion we have now, or the kind of elimination we have now. It didn't work that way.
But how?... Food is already obviously very different and becoming more and more so—glucose, for instance, or substances that don't require an elaborate digestion. But how will the body itself change?... That I don't know. I don't know.
You see, I didn't look to see how it worked, for it was completely natural to me, so I can't describe it in detail. Simply, it was
Page 216
neither a woman's body nor a man's—that much is certain. And the outline was fairly similar to that of a very young person. There was a faint suggestion of a human form (Mother draws a form in the air): with a shoulder and a waist. Just a hint of it.
I see it but.... I saw it exactly as you see yourself, I didn't even look at myself in the mirror. And I had a sort of veil, which I wore to cover myself.
It was my way of being (there was nothing surprising in it), my natural way of being.
That must be how it is in the subtle physical.
But what's mysterious is the transition from one to the other.
Yes—how?
But it's the same mystery as the transition from chimpanzee to man.
Oh, no, Mother! It's more colossal than that! It's more colossal for, after all, there isn't that much difference between a chimpanzee and a man.
But there wasn't such a difference in the appearance either (Mother draws a form in the air): there were shoulders, arms, legs, a body, a waist. Similar to ours. There was only....
Yes, but I mean the way a chimpanzee functions and the way a man functions are the same.
They are the same.
Well, yes! They digest the same, breathe the same....
Whereas here....
No, but here too there must have been breathing. The shoulders were strikingly broad (gesture), in contrast. That's important. But the chest was neither feminine nor even masculine: only reminiscent of it. And all that—stomach, abdomen and the rest—was simply an outline, a very slender and harmonious form, which certainly wasn't used for the purpose we now use our bodies.
The two different things—totally different—were procreation, which was no longer possible, and food. Though even our present
Page 217
food is manifestly not the same as that of chimpanzees or even the first humans; it's quite different. So now, it seems we have to find a food that doesn't require all this digesting.... Not exactly liquid, but not solid either.
And there's also the question of the mouth—I don't know about that—and the teeth? Naturally, chewing should no longer be necessary, and therefore teeth wouldn't be either.... But there has to be something to replace them. I haven't the slightest idea what the face looked like. But it didn't seem too, too unlike what it is now.
What will change a great deal, of course—it had acquired a prominent role—is breathing. That being depended much on it.
Yes, he probably absorbs energies directly.
Yes. There will probably be intermediary beings who won't last, you see, just as there were intermediary beings between the chimpanzee and man.
But I don't know, something has to happen that has never before happened.¹
In January 1967, Mother had spoken of the possibility of cataleptic trance for purposes of physical transformation. Now, after five years, Mother spoke once again of it on 3rd April, 1972:
... I had already explained to Satprem that if the time for transformation comes, if my body grows cold, they should not rush to put it in a hole in the ground. Because it could be... it could be only temporary. You understand? It could be momentary. They should arrange to keep it here until it shows signs of complete... of the beginning of decomposition. I am telling you this because I want to make sure it's understood; it would be stupid to put it in a hole and have all the work stop because of that.
You understand? Do you understand what I mean?
Yes, Mother, your instructions are noted.
______________________________
¹ Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 13, pp. 98-100.
Page 218
You see, make absolutely sure that I have left my body.
I don't know.... I know an attempt is being made to transform it—it knows it and is very willing—but I don't know if it will be able to do it.... Do you follow? So for some time it may give the impression that it's over, although it would be only temporary. It would start again—it might start again. But then I would be... I may be incapable of speaking at that time, of saying this.
So I am saying it to you—Satprem knows. One other person should also know.
I believe Pranab also knows it.
I don't know, I have never said anything to him.
Because we had noted it down, and your instructions are here in the drawer. They've been kept here as 'instructions’.¹
(Mother's attendant, speaking in Bengali to Sujata:) He knows.
It seems silly to make a fuss. Better say nothing. It's enough if just a few people know.
It doesn't really preoccupy me, but.... This body is truly very willing, it wants to do its best.... Will it be capable?... Ultimately, if the Lord has decided this one will be transformed, it will be transformed, that's all!
(Laughing) For the time being, it feels very much alive! That much it can say.
And I have nice children to look after me!² ³
Earlier, Mother had explained that taking recourse to cataleptic trance was to adopt the path of laziness. Evidently, she wanted to avoid it. And her dynamic Action continued. On 15th July, 1972, she said:
_____________________________________________________ ¹On January 14, 1967, for the first time, Mother had spoken of this possibility of cataleptic trance—five years earlier.
² This last sentence was intended for those who were all ears and were not supposed to be listening.
³ Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 13, pp. 128-9.
Page 219
I have a feeling I am becoming another person.
No, not just that: I am entering ANOTHER world, another way of being... which might be called a dangerous way of being (in terms of the ordinary consciousness). As if....
Dangerous, but wonderful—how to express it?
First, the [body's] subsconscient is in the process of changing, and that is long, arduous and painful... but marvellous as well. The feeling of... (gesture as if standing on a ridge).
... The feeling that the relation between what we call 'life' and what we call 'death' is becoming more and more different—yes different (Mother nods her head), completely different.
Not that death disappears, mind you (death as we see it, as we know it and in relation to life as we know it): that's not it, not it a all. BOTH are changing... into something we don't yet know, which seems at once extremely dangerous and absolutely marvellous Dangerous: the least mistake has catastrophic consequences. And marvellous.
It is the consciousness, the true consciousness of immortality not 'immortality' as we understand it, something else. Something else.
Our natural tendency is to want certain things to be true (those we deem favourable) and other things to disappear—but that's not it! It isn't like that. EVERYTHING is different.
Different.
From time to time, for a moment (a brief moment): a marvel. But the very next minute: the feeling of... a dangerous unknown. There you are. That's how I spend my time.¹
But again, on the 7th April, 1973, Mother spoke to Satprem of the need for cataleptic trance for the transformation of her body. She said:
Sometimes I wonder, 'Does the Lord want me to leave?' I am quite... quite willing, you know, so that's not the point; but does He want me to stay?... No answer. No answer except 'Transformation'.
And that is....
I truly, truly sense there is something to be done that would make everything go right—but I don't know what it is.
... You see, I have a solution for the transformation of the
____________
¹Ibid., p. 222.
Page 220
body, but... it's never been done before, so it's extremely... hard to believe. I cannot, I cannot believe that that's it. Yet, it's the only solution I see.... The body has a wish to go to sleep and awake... ('sleep' in a certain sense, of course: I remain perfectly conscious in consciousness, in the movement) and awake only after it is transformed...
... but people will never have the patience to stand it, to take care of me. The task is colossal, a herculean task; they're nice (Mother points to the bathroom), but they're already doing their utmost, and I can't ask for more.
That's the problem.
Yet, it's the only solution to which the consciousness assents:
'Yes, that's it.'
For, you see... there's a certain state—yes, a state like this (Mother closes a fist), self-absorbed, in which you are... at peace.
But who? Who? to ask that of the people who take care of me is almost impossible.¹
Indeed, she asked.... There was an explosion.... There was a refusal even to know what Mother wanted to say.... It was truly impossible.²
A week later, Mother passed through one of the most important processes of transformation, when her nervous system was transferred to the supramental. She said:
My nervous system is being transferred to the Supramental. It feels like... you know, what people call 'neurasthenia³ they have no idea what it is; but the entire nervous system is.... It's worse than dying.
But I think... I think I can transmit the divine Vibration.4
On the 19th May, 1973, Satprem had many questions to ask when he went to Mother. Mother asked him:
And you [no questions]?
__________________________________
¹ Ibid., pp. 389-90.
² See the entire account, Ibid., pp. 389-97.
³ Mother may have used this term in its original Greek root meaning: 'Strengthless nerves'. Unless she meant 'neuralgia' in its broader sense.
4 Ibid., p. 399.
Page 221
I was thinking about something Sri Aurobindo wrote.... In 'Savitri', he clearly says, 'Almighty powers are shut in Nature's cells.' [IV.III.370]
... Ohh!. Oh, that is interesting!
ALMIGHTY powers.
... But, you see, my physical, my body, is deteriorating very rapidly—what could stop it from deteriorating?
Mother, I do NOT believe it is deterioration—it’s not. My feeling is that you are physically being led to a point of such complete powerlessness that the most complete Power will be forced to awaken....
Ah!... you're right.
... I was told the beginning would take place when I am a hundred; but that's a long way off!
No, Mother, I don't think it will take that long. I don't think so. I really don't think so. Another type of functioning is going to set in. But the end of the old has to be reached, and that end is the terrible part!
Oh.... I really don't want to say (Mother shakes her head), I don't want to insist, but... truly... (Mother speakes with her eyes closed, all the pain of the world is in the shake of her head).
... The consciousness is clearer, stronger than it has ever been, and I look like an old....'¹
This happened to be the last meeting of Satprem with Mother. Thereafter, he had no further interview with her. On 15th August, 1973, Mother appeared on her balcony. This was Sri Aurobindo's 101st birthday. She remained on the balcony for a few minutes. A big crowd of people had gathered below in the street to have her Darshan. A vast peace reigned there over the crowd. Then, slowly, very slowly, she disappeared into her room.
¹Ibid., p. 417-20.
Page 222
Indeed, Mother's consciousness was clearer and greater than ever. She was the seer par excellence. She was living with a new mode of being that was turned exclusively towards the Divine with complete self-effacement right up to the cells in utter surrender. And yet, she had all the dynamism of a hero-warrior engaged in the battle to fight all that resisted or obstructed the effort to bring about the rule of the divine supermind on the earth. On November 14, at midnight, she began to feel that she might get paralysed. She asked to walk. She said: 'I want to walk, otherwise I'll become paralysed.' She held on to the arm of one of the attendants and walked... until she turned blue.
During the next days, she would ask to be lifted from her chaise-longue. On the night of November l6, she again asked to walk: 'I want to walk,' she said. She continued to fight till the very end. On the afternoon of the 17th, the signs of choking grew worse. At 7.10 p.m. her doctor massaged her heart. At 7.25 p.m. her breathing stopped.
Mother had said several times, and again on the 7th April, 1973, that her body might enter into a state, which might seem to be a state of death, but that it should be protected. She had said that it might not really be dead, that it might need to be taken care of for days and even weeks so as to allow it to complete the process of transformation.
This was known to all those who were present at that moment when her breathing stopped. (Of course, Satprem was not even informed, and he came on the scene only the next morning, nearly 12 hours after the event.)
How was it that, instead of waiting for days and weeks, Mother's body was brought down from her room to the Meditation Hall by 2.30 a.m.—just after barely 7 hours? There does not seem to be any answer to this question. She was laid on a chaise-longue under searing lights and roaring fans. By 5 a.m. long queues of people had begun to collect.
Indeed, some advised that the body should not be put into the grave unless there were clear signs of decomposition. This advice was followed, and for two days, the body did not show any sign of decomposition. But the original instructions to protect the body were right from the beginning violated. It is true that the body was left untouched for the first few hours, but soon after 11 p.m. the body was cleaned with eau de cologne, and a new dress was put on it. Instead of waiting for days and weeks, only a few hours were allowed for the body to remain in its natural condition. Why? There is no reply.
Page 223
On 5th April, 1972, during a conversation with Satprem, Mother had been assured that 'we won't let you down.' Satprem had said: 'If you must remain for a given number of days in a state of apparent Samadhi, well, you will be protected and everything will be all right, that's all.¹
But he was not even informed when the actual event took place. All those who were in the room at the time when the heartbeat stopped knew of the assurance given to Mother. Some of them had themselves personally given the assurance during the last few years.
But as Satprem points out in his book, Mother or the Mutation of Death:
There is really nobody to blame for this incredible tragedy; each of the actors probably did exactly what was required. I recall Mother telling me, in 1969,... When you see from the point of view of that Consciousness, there's such an amazing perfection in the organization of things that it’s almost... frightening. All our emotions, our reactions, all that seems absolutely childish. We know nothing, my child! Day after day, day after day, I am more and more convinced: we know nothing. And we think we know, we think—we know nothing. We are before hidden marvels that completely escape us because we are stupid. That's what Sri Aurobindo wrote in Savitri: God grows up on earth—God GROWS UP—while men... [she laughed]... while wise men talk and sleep. And the work will go unnoticed until it is completely finished. And that’s how it is.
What is concealed behind that spectacular performance of Mother's 'end', the Eternal’s dreadful strategy, as Sri Aurobindo said? What marvels? What lost silence? Or what?
What stratagem?
And I still hear Mother's words:
Seeing the world as it is and as it irreparably seems to have to remain, the human intellect has decreed that this universe had to be a mistake of God.... But the Supreme Lord replies that the comedy is not completely over, and He adds: Wait for the last act.
What is that last act, that last recess of Mother's forest? That last path of the earth?²
¹ Savitri, 1.2.17.
² Satprem, Mother or the Mutation of Death, pp. 281-2.
Page 224
On November 18, as though in reply to that question, Satprem had, while staring at the Mother's body, an experience. He himself has described it:
On November 18, in the middle of that incredible masquerade, while I was in that crowd, staring and staring uncomprehendingly at that white little form amid the roaring of fans, I had the most powerful experience of my life. I was incapable of having any experience. I was like a stunned rock with a splitting headache. I just stared, without even a prayer in my heart, nothing. Had she suddenly gotten up and walked out of that unbelievable commotion, it would have seemed to me perfectly sensible. She did not get up, but all of a sudden I was seized by something which literally pulled me above that headache and that dreamlike crowd, and—it was like an all-engulfing flood. I knew what Power was; after all, Mother had not held my hand and taken me into the experience for nothing.¹ But here it was not a person having an 'experience'; it took place outside of me. I was nobody; I was merely witnessing something. I was immersed in a tremendous flood of Power, made of elation—maybe love, but it was an elation that was love—elation like a torrent, without letup or slackening, and it kept ringing—a tremendous peal resounding over the universe. All the floodgates were wide open. And it spoke; it pealed words in my ears as well as over the whole world—a formidable but soundless voice: NO OBSTACLE... NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY... NO OBSTACLE... NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY.... And it kept ringing and ringing, each word reverberating as if all the bells in the world were ringing together in a tremendous peal of bronze: NO OBSTACLE... NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY, NO OBSTACLE... And with such joy, such triumph, oh, something so bursting with delicious but irresistible laughter, washing everything away, toppling the walls, bursting open the gates— nothing stands in the way... no obstacle. As imperative as a Last Judgment. A cataclysm of joy.
I held out for a quarter of an hour, then I went out into the street lest I could not contain myself. And it still kept ringing. I walked to the sea, my body shaking. Finally it quieted down. And
___________________________________________
¹ Satprem refers to numerous meditations he had with Mother, when Mother used to hold his hand in order to build inner bridges of communication and to give him the experience of the new consciousness.
Page 225
there was no 'Mother' in this or any 'me', or even an experience— unless the world itself was having the experience. Yes, in fact, it was like the first manifestation of 'something' over the world. We can put labels on it, but it does not care a damn about labels. It was a formidable Fact. Something happened on that 18th of November.
Perhaps the first terrestrial wave of the joy of the new world.¹
On November 20, at 8.15 a.m., Mother's body was laid into the box. Then the box was taken to the Samadhi of Sri Aurobindo, and on the upper chamber of the Samadhi, Mother's body was lowered.
In the subtle physical, a supramental body, which Mother had seen twice, was already formed. In the gross physical, most of the parts were already transferred to the governance of the supramental. The true matter of that gross physical was already in a state of over-life, transcending what we call life and death, capable of physical action on the earth and events. There was, indeed, the residue, still susceptible to 'death', and Mother's conscious body entered there all alive. Even though placed in the tomb, the cells of her body are conscious. As Satprem points out:
... Each of her cells repeats and repeats the Mantra, endlessly, like a golden little pulsation. She is undergoing the formidable operation. She is rebuilding the base of life. The 'process' continues.". This is what she had been prepared for for months: 'My body is being accustomed to something else;' this is why she was no told anything, because she had to enter there alive—I still hear her little cry the first time she had the vision of her death. Nothing absolutely nothing works in the usual way anymore! The body can no longer eat, no longer... And the Consciousness that is devoted to helping it in the work made ab-so-lu-te-ly clear to it that leaving is not a solution. Even if before there was some curiosity to know what will be, that curiosity is gone. As for the desire to stay, it's been gone for a long time. And any possible desire to leave when things get a bit... stifling has gone with the idea that it won't change anything. So there’s only one thing left for the body to do: to perfect its acceptance. That’s all. The only thing that comforts it (and not for
¹Ibid., pp. 278-9.
Page 226
long) is the idea that: what you are doing is useful to all; you are not doing this for you, a small silly person, but so the whole creation benefits from it.... I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen. But I'd like... I'd like not to be put into a box and stuffed into... because it will know it, it will feel it, and that will only add one more misery to all those it's already had.... It doesn't desire it, it doesn't fear it—it will be as it should be, that's all. However, it really would like people to understand... to appreciate the effort it has made and not decide to box it up and throw dirt on it. Because, even after the doctors have declared it dead, it will be conscious. The cells are conscious. That's all I have to say.
She is there, alive.
Aeschylus and Orpheus look pale.¹
Sri Aurobindo and Mother came to open up the consciousness of the cells to the supramental consciousness and power; this was accomplished; the old genetic code that keeps the human race bound to its limited boundaries was shattered; the new species having a new supramental-material way of knowing and acting has come into being; it is at work; it is not limited to any particular body; it is working everywhere, but more powerfully and triumphantly where there is greater receptivity and intensity of aspiration.²
Mother made an attempt to arrive at a complete transformation of the body, although she had no assurance whether this goal could be reached or not. The effort went up to the extreme point of acuteness; that effort had long ago become the effort of the body of the earth; that effort continues. Mother had said that it would require three hundred years to bring about the transformed body. She had also spoken of the need to follow the rule of several intermediate bodies as in the case of the evolution of man in succession of the chimpanzee. That work is on, and there is no obstacle. There is continuity; in that continuity all the bodies are involved; the body of each one of us is in the cauldron of transformation. This is the cosmic yoga, which none can
¹ Satprem, Mother or The Mutation of Death, pp. 280-1. (see also Mother's Agenda, Vol. 10, 24.5.1969).
² Mother had told Satprem in 1968: 'But the new way of being wilt be visible only to someone who has himself or herself the supramental vision.... I see all sorts of things MATERIALLY, but which are not visible to the others (Mother looks around the disciple). But it is materially....' (see Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 9, 15.6.1968).
Page 227
escape, and in which salvation and realisation are at once physical and collective.
Page 228
Home
Disciples
Kireet Joshi
Books
Share your feedback. Help us improve. Or ask a question.