This anthology presents glimpses of Sudhir's life, his memoirs of Sri Aurobindo in the period 1906-1909, The Mother's comments on Sudhir & other revolutionaries
Sudhir went to see the Mother on his eightieth birthday with his son Mona. Here is a portion of the talk held with the Mother on that day, reproduced from memory.
The Mother: It is your father’s birthday today, isn’t it?
Mona: Yes, Mother.
The Mother: Bonne Fête (Happy birthday)! How old is he today?
Mona: He is eighty, Mother.
The Mother: Eighty! Oh, quite a respectable age! But what is the matter, he seems to be a little tired. When did he come here?
Mona: Before ten, Mother….
The Mother: There! (The Mother gives a bouquet of flowers to my father and blesses him.) He is still quite strong.
Mona: Yes, Mother. He does the marching every evening, he does his daily chores, he even washes his clothes himself. He doesn’t want any help.
The Mother: It’s good.
Mona: He says: “As long as I live, I’ll do my work myself.”
The Mother: Yes, it’s a good training. Very good, very good. Tell him that I am pleased with him. (Turning to my father) good, good. I am happy to see you like this. What does he want? He wants to tell me something?
(My father shakes his head and brings it closer to the Mother’s face. I ask him what he wants. He tells me.)
Mona: Mother, he wants to touch your forehead with his forehead.
The Mother: Oh, oh!
Mona: That’s his way, Mother, to touch foreheads. He says “Let my fate merge with Thine”.
The Mother: All right, all right, it is good. I understand. Let it be, I accept. (The Mother touches her forehead with his) It is all right, he is very sweet. Yes, yes, all right. (My father, filled with emotion, repeats “Ma, Ma,” tears flowing from his eyes.) It is all right, I accept, I agree. Tell him to remain quiet and peaceful.
Mona: Mother, that is what is most difficult for him. When there is some trouble in India or when some one doesn’t agree with him, he can’t remain quiet. But, Mother, if you talk to him, then he will obey You. Otherwise, he will never be quiet.
The Mother: He shouldn’t get excited or upset. It is not good for him to think about all that is happening everywhere; it is not good. He must remain calm and peaceful, and not concern himself with all that noise. Nothing good comes out of it. On the contrary, it empties you of all your energy. Everything will be all right. Think of Me. I have taken charge of India. Don’t worry.
(The Mother spoke these last words with great power and conviction. She seemed to give my father the assurance that she had taken charge of India’s destiny.)
Quiet and peaceful, quiet and peaceful, and all shall go well. (My father does Pranam and the Mother blesses him.) Now don’t keep him waiting. Good. Does he need help? Can he climb down the staircase?
Mona: Yes, Mother, easily.
(I told my father to go down and wait for me; then the Mother told me: )
The Mother: You know, I have noticed something quite exceptional in him: his power of absorption in the physical is fantastic. He can receive directly through the physical. Generally one receives mainly through the heart, a little through the mind and the other parts of the being, but rarely through the physical. But your father receives vibrations directly through the physical. It is an extraordinary capacity. The force and power now into him as soon as he touches me; through his physical sensation, he can absorb everything. For most people, this assimilation is done through the inner faculties, but he can receive directly, just by touching me, through the pores of his body; the cells, the muscles absorb and retain the very essence of what he sees and touches. It is a thrilling experience as they say. He is very receptive physically. It is a gift from the Divine Grace, it is because your father has done so much for Sri Aurobindo; that is why.
He has suffered a lot?
Mona: Yes, Mother, but he never complained about anything. He once asked Sri Aurobindo: “If they torture us, what shall we do?” And Sri Aurobindo answered: “Think of Me, I shall always be with you.” And more than once my father was miraculously saved.
Sudhir Kumar Sarkar before the Mother
Once in the jungle of Assam, he found himself face to face with a royal Bengal tiger, but the tiger simply growled, then jumped over his head and did not hurt him. My father was on a cycle and could do nothing.
The Mother: Yes, that is how it is when one is protected by the Grace. Nobody knows how or why, a tiger does not swallow a man who is unarmed. The mind cannot explain these things. One cannot reason it out.
Mona: Mother, he says that when he is alone and a little dreamy, he can hear the pulsations and trepidations of Mother Earth groaning in agony, trembling in pain at the pitiful condition of Mother India. And this he cannot bear Mother.
The Mother: But this is what Sri Aurobindo saw and worshipped as the Motherland a living entity, a divine being who is resplendent and fulfils all our needs.
Mona: Mother, when he does the marching at the playground, he says, he feels as if he were marching on the breast of Mother India, calling at each step for the glorious reunification, as wished by Sri Aurobindo. And he hears the Jayadhvani, the sound of victory.
The Mother: Yes, his way of looking at things is quite unique; it shows how faithful he is to Sri Aurobindo.
Mona: Mother, Nolini-da says that my father was absolutely fearless. It is he who saved Nolini-da from going to the Andamans.
The Mother: Yes, yes, Nolini told me the story. I know everything.
Mona: You know, Mother, my father had the good fortune to stay in Sri Aurobindo’s house for more than a year. The others worked at Manicktala Garden making bombs. And they came to meet Sri Aurobindo only occasionally. But my father stayed with Him. Barin-da, Sarojini Devi, and Mrinalini Devi were living there and the five of them shared the little that Sri Aurobindo earned.
During this time Sri Aurobindo was translating the Mahabharata into English verse. While typing it out, he was also teaching English to my father. So my father asked him how he could do both simultaneously, teaching and translating the Mahabharata. Sri Aurobindo told him that if one cultivates all one’s faculties, one can do many things at the same time.
The Mother: Yes, it is very interesting.
Mona: There are many other anecdotes. Once, my father was unwell and he could not control himself: he spewed on Sri Aurobindo’s papers, on his translations of the Mahabharata. Without saying a word Sri Aurobindo cleaned up everything. He did it without uttering a word. Not even an exclamation, like “Oh all my papers are spoilt”. And then he nursed my father.
The Mother: What a joy to be near Him.
Mona: Mother, my father used to say: “I don’t know whether Sri Aurobindo is a man or a god but certainly he is not a man, because men get angry and they have their likes and dislikes. But Sri Aurobindo had none whatsoever. My father tried many tricks to see if he could make Sri Aurobindo angry, but he never succeeded. Nobody could believe how patient Sri Aurobindo was.
The Mother: Yes, it is true. He was not a man but the Lord Himself.
Mona: Even in jail my father used to look after Sri Aurobindo, who was in trance much of the time. One had to be near Him to serve Him. And my father often said that it was a joy to touch His body.
The Mother: Oh, that is why he has been worthily rewarded, because he served Sri Aurobindo.
Mona: Yes, Mother, and now he says: “I must see the Mother’s kingdom established on earth before I go.”
Sudhir Kumar Sarkar in 1968
The Mother: Yes, your father has his own way of looking at things, and he has an absolute faith in that.
Mona: Mother, he says that we were traitors because we did not completely accept Sri Aurobindo’s Mother India as a living Entity, a living God; so in order to establish the truth, He has brought down now the living Mother, the Divine Mother. (The Mother laughs)
The Mother: It is very sweet. I understand, I know, it is quite clear now.
Mona: Mother, while observing Nature he feels that all the leaves and flowers, all the plants and branches are playing, they dance and smile all the time and invite man to share this joy so that he may lead a better, and more harmonious life.
The Mother: Yes, it is quite true; he has this capacity to see the reality behind things, as they are in the subtle world. He has this inner perception which enables him to communicate with nature. This power of physical absorption, this vision of the subtle world, are Sri Aurobindo’s great gifts to him. Because your father took care of Sri Aurobindo, because he is so close to Him, he has been well rewarded. He is among the “gifted” ones who have an individualised psychic being. That is why he has been so often saved from dangers as if by miracle. Yes, it is not only the Grace, but the assurance of being blessed for ever perpetually.
Mona: Yes, Mother, it is so evident; whatever he has attempted in his life has been a formidable success.
The Mother: Yes, that is how one is rewarded. If one is a little grateful to Sri Aurobindo or helps Him or thinks of Him with gratitude, the Lord sees everything and His kindness embraces you, His mercy flows, immeasurable, infinite, and His protection makes you invincible. For a little service, you receive something eternal, a gift to cherish for ever. No doubt, your father has had his share.
Tell him to remain quiet. Explain to him lovingly that the Mother has taken charge of India. I know how difficult it is for him, but let him not worry.
Oh, to be close to Sri Aurobindo is not only an exceptional privilege, it is something unique.
What a joy! What a splendour! for Him, everything is possible. Your father is very fortunate.
A life lived in Sri Aurobindo’s aura — one can feel it immediately. A life lived in His aura.
Facsimile of the Birthday Card given by the Mother. As 21st February is a Darshan day, the Mother changed the date to 22nd February.
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