This anthology presents glimpses of Sudhir's life, his memoirs of Sri Aurobindo in the period 1906-1909, The Mother's comments on Sudhir & other revolutionaries
NOLINI KANTA GUPTA
(Life long associate of Sri Aurobindo and Secretary of Sri Aurobindo Ashram)
Sudhir — Mānusher madhyé mānush ek
Sudhir — A true man among millions
DYUMAN
(Trustee, Sri Aurobindo Ashram)
What shall I say? Nolini is Nolini. Sudhir is Sudhir. They will ever remain with us like that. Nolini as Nolini; Sudhir as Sudhir — as the lieutenants of Sri Aurobindo. We shall always respect them, honour them. They stood with Sri Aurobindo from the beginning, and that is why they had to bear the brunt of the struggle for Independence. They were the pioneers of Sri Aurobindo’s revolutionary movement. They lived not only as revolutionary lieutenants, but followed Sri Aurobindo to Pondicherry and remained with him until their last breath.
NIRODBARAN
(Physician turned poet — privileged to attend upon Sri Aurobindo)
Father of our Athletic group-captain Mona, Sudhir-da, Pagla Sudhir, intense revolutionary of the Andamans fame, had a streak of sweet madness in him. He had a sturdy and rough exterior, but a heart throbbing with mellowed tenderness within. Both these qualities expressed themselves at once whenever you accosted him. I met him for the first time when he had settled in the Ashram. Knowing perhaps that I was one of those who were attending on Sri Aurobindo as he had done in his youth, he took interest in me, his antithesis in every other way. I was also curious to know him for his fiery spirit that went through the long ordeal in the Andamans jail, when as a young man he had responded to the call of Sri Aurobindo.
Whenever we used to cross each other in the street, he would block my passage with a smile, and his hands in a pugilistic attitude. I do not know what made him welcome me in that militant fashion, when I was a meek servant of the Lord. Was it because I hailed from Chittagong of the Armoury Raid reputation? He would then start narrating some thrilling episodes of his heroic exploits. His mood would change, madness vanish, his dreamy eyes, turned far away, while his nostalgic voice was recreating the remote past. I could not leave him before he had finished his tale. Afterwards when owing to the call of duty I would try to bypass him, “He’, He’, listen, listen,” he would bawl out. “No, Sudhir-da, too busy”, and I would escape.
Simple and unassuming as he was in his dress and living and at times uncouth in his expressions, one would take him for an ordinary man, devoid of elegance. Once when the Mother was giving darshan from the terrace opposite the Boiler Room, he was heard muttering, “Look, look at the বূড়ী (old woman)! Be careful! Don’t try any hypocrisy before Her! She knows everything”. One sadhak incensed at the vulgar expression complained to Sri Aurobindo about it. The letter was sent to Nolini-da for enquiry. Nolini-da called Sudhir-da and gave him a sharp rebuke, saying: “What are all these foolish things you are saying?” Sudhir-da, much perplexed, could not understand what Nolini-da was driving at. On hearing the charge against him, he admitted using the term. “But I didn’t mean anything wrong or disrespectful”.
In fact, বূড়ী is very often a term of endearment in our social milieu.
Nolini-da reported it to Sri Aurobindo.
Sri Aurobindo in his return explained to the Mother the whole storm in a tea cup.
The Mother replied, “It is of no consequence. Sudhir is my true bhakta”.
It is significant too that quite a number of people came to the Ashram from Khulna through him and had taken up the spiritual life. Khulna was the place where Sri Aurobindo’s father was loved and adored like a god. And Sudhir-da belonged to Khulna; his father was a close associate of Dr. K. D. Ghosh, Sri Aurobindo’s father.
I forbear writing about Sudhir-da’s other activities, as they have been amply brought out by other writers. One appreciative remark of the Mother sums up the man’s true metal.
PRANAB BHATTACHARYA
(Director of the Ashram’s Department of Physical Education)
I first met Sudhir-da at the Pondicherry Railway Station. It was in 1942, towards the beginning of April, just before dusk. Four friends — Sunil, Gora, Ranju and I — had come to Pondicherry for the April Darshan. It was our first visit.
I was not acquainted with Sudhir-da then. But when he looked at me, I read only trust and love in those eyes. I too, for some unknown reason, felt an attraction of love and deep respect for him. The bond of love and affection that was established on that day, never got strained or sundered.
In those days we had meditation every night at 8 p.m. in the meditation hall. After a half-hour of meditation the Mother would get up and climb to the top of the staircase. While She stood there we would approach Her one after another, do Pranam and receive flowers. On that day Sudhir-da arranged for us to have our first darshan of the Mother and receive Her blessings.
On the same day I asked Ranju: “Who is he?” Ranju replied, “He is Sudhir Sarkar, Sri Aurobindo’s co-worker.” Hearing this my respect for him grew even more. I felt that we had met the right man from the very first day.
Sudhir-da was a very simple man. Usually he wore white cotton shorts and a banian. His hair was close-cropped, half white and half black. I heard that he himself clipped his own hair. When I looked at his strong, compact body without flab, I felt that in his youth he had surely possessed perfect health and tremendous strength. He had a simple mind of a child, but he also had a very strong will and an abundant vitality. Whenever he spoke or heard about an act of bravery and courage, he got warmed up with enthusiasm. Later I snapped a photo of him and showed it to the Mother. She commented, “Exactly the carved features of an ancient Roman.”
Sudhir Kumar Sarkar with Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya (at the centre is Wilfred Pinto)
Sudhir-da loved his Motherland more than his own life. He used to keep track of all developments, good or bad, affecting the country. He identified himself with everything relating to the country. In 1947 after the partition of India, communal riots broke out. Sudhir was ill. When the Mother came to know of it, She agreed with the doctor that the news of fresh riots breaking out in the country were disturbing him greatly and this was the cause of his ill-health.
But above all, Sudhir-da had an integral loyalty to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. He has proved this throughout his whole life.
I came to live permanently at Sri Aurobindo Ashram on 7th May 1945. Within a few days of my arrival, I took up the responsibility of the Ashram’s physical education department, with the Mother’s blessings. From the very beginning Sudhir-da encouraged me in my work for physical culture. When the Group for elderly persons was started, he joined it. I used to conduct the gymnastic marching of this group of Grown-ups. Sudhir-da was very enthusiastic about this marching. He used to cry in delight, “Pranab, they perform the Bharat Natyam, but we perform the Mahabharat Natyam!”
As I was his neighbour, whenever I got the chance, I would go to him and listen to stories of the old days. Oh, innumerable were the stories he told! Now unfortunately I can’t remember most of them.
I have seen many political sufferers trying their best to secure the monthly allowance offered by the Government of India. But when the proposal for the monthly allowance came to Sudhir-da, he said, “I have served my country because I love her, not for a monthly allowance. Besides, when the Mother has taken responsibility for me, where is the need for a dole from the Government of India?” One rarely sees such a lack of greed combined with complete trust in the Mother.
The Mother once told me that when an Avatar descends on earth, He brings with him several followers to do His work. I can firmly state that Sudhir-da was one of those followers. On the eve of his birth centenary, I would confidently declare that Sudhir-da was in the frontline of Sri Aurobindo’s followers.
I conclude this homage to Sudhir-da with my heartfelt love and gratitude for him.
PARICHAND
(In-charge of Ashram Garden Service)
As Sri Ramakrishna gave a call to some young souls and they responded to it for the Mother’s work, so must have gone out a call from Sri Aurobindo to the first few pioneers who gathered around him for the Mother’s work.
They heard the call, responded to it and had implicit faith in the guidance of Sri Aurobindo; they lived and had their being in his consciousness. One of the pioneers who readily replied to the call was Sudhir Sarkar; to him Sri Aurobindo revealed the vision of the Mother in Her physical embodiment. That vision of the Mother in Her resplendent form, Sri Aurobindo saw as a living image of Mother India, and He gave it to a chosen few. For Sudhir-da, that vision was a life-long cherished possession.
By virtue of long association with Sri Aurobindo at a tender age, Sudhir-da imbibed certain great qualities in his heart.
He had an innate simplicity and frankness which endeared him to all of us.
At the slightest touch of physical suffering or mental affliction in others, he was easily moved to sympathy and knew no rest till he found the remedy. An ingrained nobility of nature governed his behaviour from day to day and therefore Sudhir-da never stooped to serve any selfish ends.
Sri Aurobindo kindled in his heart an undying fire which was offered first at the altar of Mother India and finally at the altar of the Mother of the universe.
(Recounted by PURNANANDA, an Inmate of the Ashram, to Mona)
Once Bhupen-da (Bhupendranath Dutt, the younger brother of Vivekananda) spoke to me about Sudhir-da. He told me: Oh, Sudhir! he is a realised soul. Could one recognise him by his outwardness? All those young revolutionaries descended from another world. At the dawn of the century, they came down and built a new path. Their endurance is beyond our comprehension. When the power of Mother India, coursed in waves through Sudhir’s veins, he forgot himself and he was able to do anything. What identification he had with the Motherland! I have rarely seen so much love in anyone.
Sudhir-da’s passionate love for the country is akin to a saint’s one-pointed love for the Divine. When I see him, I feel that the Mother’s call has entered his blood, his flesh and bones and marrow. Always the overwhelming idea activating him, is the freedom of the Motherland. During that period everybody was against them — their courage and sacrifice in the face of this opposition is unthinkable. Much that was done for the Country’s progress is due mainly to them. The power Sudhir was born with — the warrior strength — always burst out vehemently whenever there was any wrong-doing around him. When that anger entered in him he could crush anything.
The Lord must have been exceedingly pleased with Sudhir’s deeds, for He blessed him by sending a wife godly in character, to relieve him of his sufferings. It was the union of two great souls.
Sudhir’s wife was not an ordinary woman. Her patience and skill in work were extraordinary. How great were her love and compassion for all. Whenever I saw her, I felt a deep and abiding peace; it seemed to surround and illumine her lovely face. From her behaviour one could sense her purity and elevated consciousness. When she used to cook and entertain us with food, it seemed that we were partaking of the nectar of heaven. How tasty the food was and how beautifully it was served! It was due only to her spiritual power that she alone could master Sudhir’s virility. She used to calm him just by uttering a few telling words. At that time I wondered at their power of endurance — in Sudhir it was physical endurance, in his wife it was mental endurance.
How wonderfully Sudhir’s wife accepted everything due to her trust in God. Whenever there was any political agitation in India, C.I.D. agents would pursue Sudhir. For the Government saw his hand behind all anti-British activities. What a dangerous and harrassed life Sudhir lived then. How anxiously his wife passed her days and nights. For months together there would not be any news of Sudhir, nor any message from him. Lest the police should trace Sudhir, no letters were written. Oh, how miserable and gloomy her days were then. But it was her faith in the Mother that brought her through all the vicissitudes of life.
RANAJIT SARKAR
(Former student of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education and now a Professor in Holland)
When I think of Sudhir Kumar, the image that arises in my mind is that of a burning flame, a portion of kshatratejas, warrior power. He was fashioned by the spirit of the 1905 agitation against the Partition of Bengal. This agitation had drawn Sri Aurobindo into active revolution. And it was around him that a group of young men gathered together to dedicate their lives to the great sacrifice for national emancipation. Sudhir Kumar was one of them.
Speaking of this sacrifice Sri Aurobindo writes in The Doctrine of Passive Resistance (1907), “Liberty is the fruit we seek from the sacrifice, and the Motherland, the goddess to whom we offer it; into the seven leaping tongues of the fire of the yajna we must offer all that we are and all that we have, feeding the fire even with our blood and lives and happiness of our nearest and dearest….” And when I heard Sudhir Kumar speak of those days I understood that he was indeed one of those who had come to the yajna with a firm resolve to offer all that he was and all that he had, ready to sacrifice his life for the liberation of the Motherland.
Sri Aurobindo speaks of two kinds of power, tejas, that were needed for the revolution; one was the “peaceful and self-contained” brahmatejas, and the other the power of the warrior, kshatratejas, of which the important characteristics are abhayam, fearlessness and sahasam, courage.
In Sudhir Kumar I felt this fearlessness and courage. “Politics,” wrote Sri Aurobindo, “is the work of the Kshatriya and it is the virtues of the Kshatriya we must develop if we are to be morally fit for freedom. But the first virtue of the Kshatriya is not to bow his neck to an unjust yoke but to protect his weak and suffering countrymen against the oppressor and welcome death in a just and righteous battle.” Sudhir Kumar fitted perfectly into this description of the Kshatriya. Even after India’s independence, when Kashmir was treacherously invaded by Pakistan or during the border-conflict with China, that power would sometimes blaze up in him; it seemed that he would if he could sacrifice the remaining years of his life to fight back the aggressors and protect his beloved Motherland.
Brahmatejas, of which one expression is Passive Resistance, is a great power, but, says Sri Aurobindo, when the demons are fierce and determined, the bow of the Kshatriya has to be called in; “without Kshatriya strength at its back, all political struggle is unavailing.”
Sudhir Kumar was, as I feel it, one of the Kshatriyas made by Sri Aurobindo in whose close contact he came very early in his life. He was drawn to brave and dangerous action. But action must be founded on knowledge. For Sudhir Kumar the knowledge came by self-giving and service to his leader and master. For Sudhir Kumar there was no questioning, only self-giving and service. He served Sri Aurobindo with love and unquestioning obedience. And Sri Aurobindo taught him.
When I think of Sudhir Kumar, I remember the Upanishadic words so dear to Vivekananda, nāyamātmā balahinena labhyah, “This self is not to be attained by one who is weak.” I believe that Sudhir Kumar’s seeking of the Self, his sādhanā, followed the path of the divine power. All through his life he offered his strength to serve his Master and his Mother.
RAJEN GANGULI
(Managing Editor, ‘The Advent’, Ashram Publication)
I first met Sudhir-da here in the Ashram in February 1940, at Jyotin’s room, opposite the Ashram Gate. His personality at once captivated me; he had such fiery eyes and a transparent simplicity. I found through him a new meaning in the words patriotism, love and affection. Yes, he had some sparks of the Fire of Sri Aurobindo within him. He freely gave of this Fire to anyone who wanted it. Perhaps, it was this Fire that saved him and brought him out alive from the dungeons of the Andamans.
I can still hear his lion-like voice roaring against all hostile forces.
(Recounted by BIKASH MUKHERJEE, former student of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education, to Mona)
When I think of Sudhir-da, the first thought that comes to my mind is his simplicity. He was a very simple man, inwardly and outwardly. No showing off, no pretence, a transparent simplicity. He used to speak casually of the profound truths of life in such a simple language. And then I remember his truthfulness. His motto was “Speak only the truth in spite of all adversities.” He was never afraid to express himself straightforwardly. That is why persons guilty of some offence used to be ill at ease in his presence, for they regularly got exposed before his truthfulness. He never cheated anybody; perhaps he didn’t even know what cheating was. There are some people who have a compromising nature. In order to avoid complications and misunderstandings, they take recourse to half-truths. But not Sudhir-da. He used to judge himself with the same rigour with which he judged others. He had such an atmosphere of truthfulness around him that in his presence one had to be truthful oneself — there was no question of lying.
Sudhir-da had the knack of discovering the vein of goodness in people. Once he found something good in a person, he would forget all about his faults. That is why everybody, whether known or unknown, felt attracted to him. Sudhir-da was a unique personality. Some power seemed to possess him when he recounted the days he spent during the great struggle for India’s freedom from the English. Even now I can hear his thunderous voice goading, “Will you be able to do it?”
“What are you talking about, Sudhir-da?”
“To fight, to give battle.”
“Against whom?”
“Against Pakistan. Can’t you see that we must strive to make India one?” That is how Sudhir-da used to speak about his cherished wish, the union of Pakistan with India. He used to say, “Well, if you can’t sacrifice your lives for the Motherland, then for whom are you going to do it?”
Sometimes he would get angry with us and shout, “What is the use of living such a life if it is not sacrificed at the feet of the Mother?” And speak of his courage — he had tons of it! When he spoke in an impassioned mood, he could instil that fearless courage into us and make us as ardent and fiery as he. I remember how in his company I would feel myself charged with courage and enthusiasm. I think that even timid persons would have dared to accomplish dangerous tasks in the presence of such a man. He seemed to radiate courage and assurance. In him strength of character was married to physical power and courage. It seemed to be a divine gift to him.
(Recounted by Dr. HIRANMOY GHOSH, a well-known Chiropractor and family friend, to Mona)
It is difficult to fully understand what sort of combination made up Sudhir’s character. Few people will ever be able to comprehend the way in which he accepted the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. That power and forthrightness of nature, that warriorlike character, which comes out only when a person enters the field of work and discovers the great battle going on behind everything — that was his characteristic mettle. And how openly he has given evidence of it. Throughout his life, he kept on the fight unflinchingly, never retreating, never showing any sign of weakness, even in his duel with all powerful death. I can still see him struggling with the force of his god-gifted health and vigour and the rugged frame that lodged his soul. How full of conviction his speech was and how totally fearless! Indeed he had a character in which there was no separation of profession from practice. Whatever he resolved to do, he did it — it could not be otherwise. When one takes up Yoga, one has to fight within himself to conquer all kinds of desires; for that one has to be a fighter. Sudhir had that fighter within him, and it could tame and subdue all kinds of forces.
NANDALAL BOSE
(Family Friend – then residing in Khulna)
One day we were gossiping in the house of our uncle. Suddenly Sri Madhav Bhattacharya, head of the Sanskrit school, taunting my uncle in an insulting and provoking tone, said, “The Mother of your Ashram is a European lady?” No sooner had he finished the statement than my uncle started to strangle him, shouting, “What have you uttered against my Mother?” We were all stunned. Somehow we checked him. The aged Pandit, recalling the incident, said, “I was really astounded by Sudhir-babu’s devotion to his Guru”. That violent behaviour was totally unexpected of my uncle. But his strange conduct clearly shows that he believed in the adage: To hear adverse criticism against one’s Guru is a great sin.
ARABINDA BASU
(Professor of Philosophy, Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education)
Once I pressed Sudhir-da to tell something on Sri Aurobindo. He remained silent for a long time. I could read on his face his effort to master his emotions. Slowly, very softly he said, “What can I say? Was He a man?” His manner of speaking forced me to silence for a while. At last I said, “Okay, tell me of the God then.” Sudhir-da replied, “Later on outwardly we did not have much contact with each other. But inwardly he could silently inspire and entrance people in a way I have never seen anyone else do.”
Sudhir-da’s life was utterly dedicated at the feet of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I never heard him utter weighty sentences of Yoga. All his actions were centred in Sri Aurobindo. He used to say to me, “Why worry any more? Have you not reached the Ashram?” To my query, “But what should I do?” he replied, “Why? you should love! Have you not seen how They love?”
NIRMALYA ROY
The heart of this revolutionary was soft as a flower. When he would refer to Mrinalini Devi, his eyes would be filled with tears. He would refer to her as Ma Mrinalini. She too looked upon him as her son. At his instance, Sri Sailendranath Bose, Mrinalini Devi’s younger brother, wrote the memoires of her life. Sudhir-da used to say, “No one really knows what a great sacrifice Ma Mrinalini made!”
Another incident that I remember will reveal what a deep inner relationship of love he had with the Mother. One morning Sudhir-da was standing in the Meditation Hall. Nolini-da came out of the Mother’s room, saw him there and said, “Sudhir, the Mother has called you.” He replied in a jocular vein, “How long shall I see the old Lady?” Nolini-da chided him, “The Mother has called you, go to Her.” Sudhir-da always obeyed Nolini-da. He went upstairs and entered the Mother’s room. What did he see? Wonder of wonders: There was the Mother, seated in the form of a girl of sixteen! An unforgettable sight! An experience of his life!
Dr. BALAI MITRA
(Ophthalmologist — Calcutta and family friend)
My respected uncle Sudhir Sarkar was the brother of an intimate friend of my father. I discovered two uncommon qualities in him. First, his unbounded love and devotion for Sri Aurobindo; when he returned from Pondicherry, he used to say, “What have I seen! What have I seen!” His devotion was infectious — it absolutely pervaded us. My uncle’s second great quality was his love for the Motherland. He was a great nationalist. He used to say, “This is the time to drive out the British! Can’t you all do something?” Hunted by the British, he left Assam and came to Khulna. In Khulna District, my uncle was the first to introduce sanitary privies with septic tanks. My father Amritalal Mitra, an overseer by profession, spoke highly of this.
My uncle learnt homoeopathy all by himself and never charged any fee from anyone. When I was a medical student, I developed tonsil trouble. The doctors advised operation. He said to me, “I will give the medicine. For one whole night you will suffer, then you shall be cured.” Indeed it was true; I never had any trouble afterwards.
Both my uncle and aunt loved me very much. Whenever my aunt would cook something delicious, she would invariably keep some of it for me. The memory of my noble-hearted uncle and aunt is even today sweet and fresh.
PRITHWIN MUKHERJEE
(Former student of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education, and a research scholar in France)
We were children at that time. My parents had just returned from Pondicherry after Darshan. They were full of talk about the Ashram. All through their eloquent description of the events there, the name of certain ‘Uncle Sudhir’ occurred repeatedly. As I listened, a picture of the person took shape in my mind, though I had never seen him. It was the portrait of someone who seemed to be very intimate and close — an old revolutionary.
Sudhir-da stood tall and erect and looked rugged as a ‘Sal’ tree. There was not an ounce of superfluous fat on his perfectly proportioned body. He wore a white short — sleeved banian and a light pair of shorts, he seemed to feel most comfortable in them. Was it in fond remembrance of his Prison days? His neck was really beautiful, like the stem of a young green eucalyptus, solid and tender. His face was that of a Roman warrior frozen in bronze, such as are pictured in history books. His eyes sparkled incessantly with a suppressed, mischievous smile, while his restless right hand elaborated through gestures every word he uttered, giving them an added meaning.
Once Sri Aurobindo told Sudhir to go to Belur Math and see Sushil Maharaj. The Maharaj (monks are addressed by that name) — spoke about many things, giving illustrations from the Gita, the Upanishads and the Puranas. But Sudhir was not impressed. He came back and told him so. But Sri Aurobindo said: “One should not have prejudices against people. As experiences accumulate, one should observe, discriminate and repeat them where necessary. Man is indeed weak, yet hasn’t this same man been created in the very image of God and the Divine Mother? He has been created to taste all kinds of experiences.”
*
Once in 1907 or 1908, a non-Bengali gentleman came to Sri Aurobindo’s house in Calcutta. He wanted to see ‘Aurobindo-babu’. Sri Aurobindo was occupied with his writing. Deciding not to disturb him, Sudhir politely took the gentleman inside, but made him wait in the outer room. After some time Sri Aurobindo came downstairs for something; seeing the visitor he greeted him warmly. The visitor in this case was none other than Lokmanya Bal Gangadhar Tilak. Sudhir, faced with this embarrassment, hung his head!
Sudhir’s sadhana was based on the motto: “I shall come to Thee, О Mother, with the simplicity of a child.” And indeed everything hidden within him, he brought out without the least hesitation to Sri Aurobindo.
Our parents had contemplated returning to Calcutta from Pondicherry after having Darshan of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. We all three brothers wished to stay back in the Ashram. In some mysterious way the old man derived what was in our mind, and with a mischievous smile and a flicker in his eyes, he suggested: “To-morrow all three of you go and meet the Mother and tell Her directly your intentions.”
“But in what language are we to speak, Sudhir-da?”
“Speak in Bengali, slowly and mentally stressing on every word within yourselves. You will see how the Mother understands every thing.” But observing doubt on my face, he taught us how to say in English: “Mother, we want to stay here permanently.” My elder brother repeated it to the Mother. We were granted the permission and our mother too was asked to stay back with us.
Like a victorious warrior Sudhir-da bore down on us, took us in his arms, pressed his forehead against ours and hugged us with all the warmth and endearment in his command and said: “Did you see, how the Lady does things!”
(Recounted by SHYAMA-DI, an Inmate of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, to Mona)
Oh!! Baba! Was he really human? He was so godly! What compassion, what great love he bore towards all. He would draw all the affliction of others into himself.
Baba’s seeing was different from ours. He could see the reality behind things and discover truths which escaped our notice. Sometimes we would criticize people, judging them. Baba would say: “Look, whatever you are whispering in my ears the Mother is listening too! She is standing behind you, so beware!”
Again Baba would tell us: “Never retreat! never be small! never show weakness! That demeans the Mother! It is a sure way to remove the Mother’s presence from you. You must become a true worker of the Mother. Be cheerful, banish all levity from your nature, all meanness. Widen your mind and heart so that you may be able to hold a drop of the Mother’s love in you.
It is not enough merely to be good-natured and inoffensive — a goody-goody type. It is discernment that sifts the true from the false, the good from the bad; it is discernment that penetrates into the heart of a thing. To follow that discernment is a great thing; for it alone can indicate the Truth.”
Whenever Baba spoke of Sri Aurobindo, he became meditative and self-lost. At such moments his face seemed to glow with a radiance. He spoke with such tenderness! One wondered how a reckless and stubborn person as Baba, who had faced death unflinchingly could suddenly be overcome with tears of emotion welling up from his heart. I could never account for such contradictions in his character.
Sometimes, while speaking, a gust of emotion would suddenly grip him. Whenever it happened he would become intoxicated with the Mother’s love and tell us: “What are you staring at? Have you looked into the eyes of the Mother? Do you know what Her love is? If you add up all the love that hundreds and thousands of Mothers feel for their children, it could not fathom the oceanic depth of Her love, so deep, so vast, so infinite it is. Did you come here to know Her, to understand Her? And that too with your puny intelligence? What stupidity! When will you grow wise? Only one person truly recognised Her — Sri Aurobindo.”
How true all that was, and how authentic the ring in Baba’s voice as he spoke — it brings tears to my eyes when I remember it. He would say: “Listen, if you do a little for the Mother, even a tiny bit, you will see how She will make you one with Her, with all Her deep love and Her unfathomable compassion. It is unthinkable! Not to speak of man, even God cannot fathom that firm bond of love. Can you ever find such a Mother? Can you discover Her anywhere?”
ABANI SINHA
(Inmate of Sri Aurobindo Ashram)
Fidelity of his ideal and boundless courage characterised Sudhir-da and set him apart from others. On the night of 11th February 1965, at the time of the anti-Hindi agitation, a large number of anti-socials under some false pretext attacked the Ashram. With the Mother’s permission the young members fanned out to oppose the attackers. The spirit of the freedom fighter flared up in old Sudhir-da’s heart — he was in his mid-seventies then. Out he came totteringly, armed with a stick. The young boys tried to make him go home. But Sudhir-da answered, “Do not stop me please. I know my fighting days are over, but nothing can change my attitude. At least I am capable of dying, if not of fighting back.” Can you forget such a personality?
Ramakrishna once said, of the God-intoxicated dervishes of India, “The Bauls came, they sang, they danced and they departed, but none understood them.”
At the time of the joint manifestation of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, there appeared on earth a group of Bauls. Truly, they possessed the qualities of Bauls. They were not attached to anything on earth. They were born free. They came down upon earth to express their heart’s ecstasy by hailing the divine manifestation on earth.
Sudhir-da was one of those ecstatic Bauls.
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