Recollections

Journey to Pondicherry

... I pondered about my next course of action. The option of returning home was ruled out. I could not think of a single place in the world where I would be welcome. My future was shrouded in deep uncertainty.

I had browsed an issue of the Bulletin from Sri Aurobindo Ashram a long time ago in the club at Berhampore. Those words and images floated up before my eyes. I decided to head for Pondicherry. The only apprehension was whether Pinu da (Pranab Kr. Bhattacharya) would recognize me now. After all, he had last seen me when I was much younger. Nonetheless I felt a call from Pondicherry inside me somewhere.

Since Pondicherry was French territory, one would need a passport to enter it. But getting a passport seemed an impossibility to me right then.

That night I boarded a train - "Bombay Mail". In the morning I reached Madras. The journey was uneventful. Yet an apprehension kept nagging me. If I was not accepted at Pondicherry, I had no other alternative to fall back upon. I invoked Ma Kali’s name and decided to continue on my path leaving the result to fate and Her will. At the station, on making enquiries, I learnt from a person that a train leaves for Pondicherry at night but buses are available during the day. I found the bus stand and ate something before boarding the bus. The bus raced towards Pondicherry. We made it to Chingalpet. There was a checkpost here where they would check the passport. All the passengers went through the Checkpost one by one. Then it was my turn. After examining my suitcase, they asked for my passport. I had no option but to tell them that I did not have one. They refused to let me proceed to Pondicherry without a passport. I would have to get one made in Madras. That might take a few days. I sat there silently. I was in no mood to go back to Madras. Random thoughts raced through my head. The officer at the checkpost left for his home after advising me to arrange for a passport in Madras. At about 3 in the afternoon, another officer arrived. I was the first person in the line. I told him that I had no passport. The officer kept staring at me for some time and then said: "Go. Go to Pondicherry". I boarded a bus to Pondicherry.

The closer we got to Pondicherry, the more nervous I felt. Eventually I reached Pondicherry. I hailed a rickshaw and asked to be taken to the "Ashram". The dim electric lights were flickering in the evening. There were few people around and the road itself was a track in the red soil. I got off at the Ashram main gate. The only person known to me there was Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya. The person on duty at the gate enquired if I had any "letter". I said, "No. I just wish to meet with Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya." The person immediately retorted that no one is allowed to enter the Ashram without a letter of reference. I repeated my request for permission to meet Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya. Now the person lost his temper. He started abusing me and asked me to leave. My anger was also rising and I felt the urge to teach him a lesson. Since he had only shown me discourtesy so far, I decided to give him a good punch and then take my leave. Just at that moment, a lady came out. She wanted to know the reason for this commotion at the gate. The person manning the gate explained the situation to her. For some reason unknown to me, the lady took me to the playground and assured me that she would arrange a meeting with Pranab.

I waited at the entrance of the playground. After a while, Pranab came out in red pants and a sando-genji (sleeveless vest). He wanted to know who I was. I identified myself as the brother of Tadit Talukdar. He could not recognise me. Still he said, "Come inside".

The First Meeting with Sri Ma

The moment we entered the playground, "meditation" started. There was utter silence all around for quite some time. Then Pranab-da took me to meet Sri Ma. At my first meeting, I just folded my hands and did a namaskar to Her, instead of doing a pranam at Her feet, which was the norm. This aroused strong feelings in the people around. Yet I was allowed to stay. I shared Pranab-da’s room that night.