Nolini-da, Amrita-da and Some other Sadhaks as I Knew them

Nolini-da, Amrita-da and Some other Sadhaks as I Knew them

 

I don't know how to begin to speak about my contact with Nolini-da. For it was neither very close nor very distant. There are those of my generation who may be able to say many interesting things regarding their relation with Nolini-da, again others may not. But as I had neither of the two, yet feel once in a while I was in his thoughts.

 

     The very second day of my arrival at Pondicherry I was introduced to three middle aged Sadhaks. One was Biren-da of Press. He always wore dhoti and chadar and he had long hair which fell up to his waist. Near The Ashram gate, Suren Datta, my uncle, another uncle with whom I travelled and I, met Biren-da, Kaku (Suren Datta) introduced us. With a very soft voice and a smile he accepted my pranam. (The Bengalies were taught from their childhood to touch the feet of the elders when met for the first time). We talked; he asking me questions and I answering and then we entered the Ashram premises.

Near Puraniji's room (where there is now an office with computers) we met a short, fair complexioned Sadhak with a very endearing voice. I touched his feet and kaku said, "Amrita-da, this is my niece Jharna , and she has arrived yesterday from Assam." Amrita-da looked at me with affection and said in a Bengali which in intonation was a little different , "khub bhalo". I found it little different than the way we speak , but didn't have the curiosity to find out why it was so. At last we entered The Meditation Hall, went to Nolini-da's door and from there kaku called out," Nolini-da may we come in ?"

A deep voice gave us the permission; seeing us he said," So she has arrived?" while I touched his feet. In those days even a visit to the Ashram required The Mother's permission. It was done through Nolini-da or Amrita-da in general. That was the beginning.

I had actually come with the hope to stay back if The Mother permitted. Why at such a tender age I had decided that, I still haven't found the reason. Was it because there was a great upheaval in the life of the Bengalies, especially due to the partition?" But then, I was too young to understand the impact of it. Or was it the lure of an enchanting life of which I heard from a few who used to stop at our house while coming to visit the Ashram!

 

     After The Darshan of 21 February there was nothing much to do. We just visited different departments, and thus a month had passed. Then a letter came from my father asking us to return.

But I had already felt a great pull towards the life of the students of the school , seeing them so free, alive, full of enthusiasm in everything they did that I decided to ask my uncle to do something . He too might have had the same idea. So he went to Nolini-da with me and spoke to him about my wish . He, after a while said," Come with her on next blessing day to my room". As asked we presented ourselves and he asked us to follow him. We went to The Mother and there he informed Her that I wanted to stay back. The Mother looked at me and asked "Do you want to stay here?" By hearing Her speak to me I was petrified and couldn't answer Her. She asked for the second time still I remained dumb. There She said "are baba!"

I took that as a "No" from Her and my inability to answer Her in English was to me a real failure . I was heart broken; in the evening kaku went to Nolini-da and informed him about my unhappiness. Nolini-da heard and said," The Mother has accepted her".

 

     After that for very many years I just met him in the Playground or in The Ashram or even in the Dining Room. Now and then he would say a few words, he asking and I answering. It went on till I began to arrange and   choreograph dance programmes. After presenting a few programmes whenever I met him afterwards he would enquire whether we were thinking of something new. So when it became clear to me that he took keen interest in these cultural programmes, I began to inform him about all our projects. And he always wanted to know in detail. In the beginning Nandita-di and I would develop together a theme and present it: She, looking after the music side and I, the dance and choreograph aspect. One incident I remember when we staged "A God's Labour" as a dance drama. I went to his room and gave him in full detail what we intended to present. He listened with lots of interest asking me questions. One day Suresh Joshiji came to school and gave me a note saying Nolini-da had sent it. There it was written "don't forget to present The Buddha and The Christ". I showed it to Nandita-di and we felt we were in right path in presenting the poem. It so happened, one day a senior colleague  caught me by surprise for he said he had had been looking for me to suggest that I shouldn't bring in either the Buddha or The Christ. I just showed him the note that I received from Nolini-da

 

          Nolini-da came to see the programme and sat through. While walking out of the theatre he made this remark "She has understood the poem". For this particular programme we had to face a lot of adverse comments. But after a few days when I met Anima-di and she conveyed to me Nolini-da's opinion , I was naturally very happy.

 

     1978 was the Birth Centenary year of The Mother. we decided to present " Mahisasur Mardini" We had to train very many young men to participate either as  Gods or as Asuras. Most of these participants never danced a single step. Yet when they began to work it was a pleasure to see their enthusiasm and sincerity. They were quick learners and in two months time we gave quite a good shape to the dance- drama.

 

     Nandita-di as I mentioned earlier was in charge of music. She did a wonderful job by setting  most difficult sanskrit shlokas into music to be sung and at the same time composed impressive orchestra pieces. The dance-drama was ready to be presented in the month of August. I went to Nolini-da to inform him about the date. Any programme in the Ashram is announced through a poster which often is done with painting and drawing to convey the sense of the programme. It is then put up in The Ashram main building for all to see and know what it is about. Nolini-da wanted to know what would be the name of the dance-drama. It was  to be "Twam Swadha, Twam Swaha". He had written about these words and wanted us to read them and know the true meaning of the words.

 

     By this time he had stopped going out but he  consented to come for the programme for a few minutes. But he sat through. Anima-di who used look after him was worried; this long duration may exhaust him. But after the programme he walked to the car and it seems he was in a meditative mood all through.

 

     He remembered the birthdays of the inmates of the Ashram. Many of us used to go and meet him on our birthdays. One year it became clear to me that he expected us to meet him on this particular day. On one particular birthday I was a little late going to his room. From outside I heard him asking Anima-di" It is Jharna's birthday and she hasn't come yet?"  Just then I entered and said, "Nolini-da, here I am." That was the year his book "Veda Mantra" was published and he had signed one to give me.

 

     On another occasion I was asked to go to his room; entering. I found him seated on his chair; looked up sensing someone in front, "Oh eshe cho!" then he took a picture -post card from the table and gave it to me saying , "eita tomar jonye " Some one had sent this post - card from Malayasia. It was a picture of a few young Malayasien women dancing a folk dance. These and other small incidents made me feel that now and then I was in his thought.

 

     We have heard the older generation call him "Sri Aurobindo's manas putra." And why not! He is certainly one who has followed the guru's footsteps with utmost sincerity and love. A great sadhak, a writer who has given most valuable thoughts regarding Sri Aurobindo  and The Mother's Yoga and much more. His critical work on writers in Bengali, English and French are of great value for those who would like to study those authors. His essays on Rabindra Nath Tagore show his mastery over the poet's work. He took keen interest in anything new and exceptional. When the book "Johnathan Livingstone Seagull" was published, we had a reading session with him. He was inspired by the book, translated relevant parts in Bengali and read them in The Playground for those who didn't know English well. And now I will just mention two comments regarding Nolini-da.

 

     After the merger of Pondicherry to India, Jawaharlal Nehru came to visit and at the Ashram gate he was received by Nolini-da, Amrita-da and other senior sadhaks. Nolini-da accompanied him to the Samadhi and then to The Mother. It seems Nehru commented about Nolini-da " To-day I met someone who looked like the rishis of The Vedic age."

It is also said that in one of Her conversations The Mother it seems commented that he can reach Sachchidananda in a few minutes time. "

In the last couple of years of his life one of his photo's used to be distributed to all who went to wish him "Bonne fete." Looking at his eyes in those photos one can feel how true the observations are.

Amrita-da

     I have already said something about Nolini-da and when one speaks of Nolini-da, one can't stop there without saying something about Amrita-da. They were two of the pillars on which The Mother and Sri Aurobindo founded their Ashram. There were Pavitra-da, Purani-ji, Dyuman bhai and others who had also dedicated themselves to their creation as the pillars. There had also been others who had given themselves completely to the service of The Ashram. In the early days each and every Ashramite in his big or small way contributed to its growth and well being. As the Ashram was the creation of The Mother and Sri Aurobindo, to be able to be a part of that creation for them was and still for many is a great privilege. It is the "Punya" acquired through many lives that one is given a chance to participate in making of something of this magnitude.

     Amrita-da was a Tamil brahmin. After coming in contact with Sri Aurobindo, abandoned all the "samskaras" he had been brought up in and surrendered completely to the Guru he had chosen. He was a man full of peace and happiness (that's the impression one had); had a child like nature. It seems The Mother used to treat him like one. She wouldn't hesitate to scold him as one does to a child if he made a mistake; whereas if Nolini-da made any, She with a very slight gesture make him aware of it. They would go together to The Mother for The Ashram work; Amrita-da, The Manager and Nolini-da, The Mother's secretary. They it seems sat side by side on the floor and worked with The Mother.

     He had the most endearing nature; soft spoken, always ready to help. One could approach him more easily than Nolini-da as Nolini-da was quite a serious person, in appearance at least.

     I liked Amrita-da because he always gave me the impression of someone who would always be there if it was needed.

     After The Mother stopped coming to the first floor we would go to the second floor for our birthdays or on any other occasion if She consented to see us. For that we had to write to Her a note praying for Her permission. I always took my letter to Amrita-da to give it to The Mother.

     Amrita-da's small little gestures were full of affection and concern. For instance while waiting to go to The Mother we would wait in the passage room leading to the second floor staircase. Amrita-da going to The Mother for his work would look at everyone seated, wish "Bonne Fête" and say something like, "See you don't hurt yourself while getting up", and show the edge of the cupboard near which one is seated.

     There would be other occasion when we could not go to The Mother due to her tight schedule or for some other reason then we could send flowers to The Mother through Amrita-da or Nolini-da. If The Mother wished to give quite a bunch of flowers and the vase was small then while giving the flowers to the one who has sent would say "why didn't you send your flowers in a bigger vase, The Mother had so many more to give"? That he had to carry it with all his things for the work didn't matter. Amrita-da was always there for us, we had to but approach him with our difficulties, he would listen and then quietly say "alright, I will let The Mother know of your problem."

 

Millie-di

Millie-di was in charge of The Green room of our theatre. Even when we didn't have a theatre and every programme was presented on The Playground, she looked after the costumes and make up. We met only whenever we presented a dance programme. Millie-di did not only supplied the costumes but also decided what to give whom. It was only in all these occasions I came in contact with her and one could see that she was a born artist. Her conception of dresses and accessories often didn't fit in to our conception, but when looked upon them very dispassionately one could see the novelty in her suggestions.

She was looking for someone to help her in her theatre work; for the first generation helpers were not all that young anymore; I was asked and as it is to do with dance and dramas I opted for it. It is after that I came to know about her ideas a little better.

The most striking aspect of her working method was that though we had more than six / seven huge cupboards full of costumes, she knew what was where. She remembered the number, the colour, the year it was used in First December programme especially. She even often mentioned the character that had put it on.

In earlier days, quite a few families who joined The Ashram offered their best dresses and saries to The Mother for whatever way they could be put into use. Thus we could see richly worked saries, dresses, lehengas in her collection. She would use them once as they were, if they suited her idea; then after it a little for a second use and slight repeated alterations she made it serviceable for quite a few more times.

In the early period of our cultural programmes Millie-di tried to use all that was at her disposal and spend as little as possible for dresses. One year she with the help of a crafts' woman got accessories and jewellary made out of coloured glass beads. As far as I remember they were created for the dramatic versions of "Vikramorvashi" of Sri Aurobindo. Practically everyone of the cast: The King, the apsaras, the other characters wore those creations. They looked so grand that one just looked at them with great admiration; and if it had happened in present era, one could have exclaimed "awesome!".

These accessories had been used for years till they broke to pieces. Once in a dance - drama I was to dance as "Goddess Kali". She took a red  sari with a zari border and asked me to get a yellow blouse. On the day of the programme she just made me wear the sari as we generally do, and then altered the length of the pleats in such a way that it resembled a stitched dress. For crown she chose a necklace. Now one could very well ask why didn't she give ma a stitched dress or a regular crown? Well, I believe that would have been too traditional!

This incident will show how creative she was. A dancer from South America "Rolf" began to visit The Ashram in late sixties. On the occasion of a "New Year" he presented recitation from Savitri with some Ashram artists. The dresses were stitched according to his model. After that particular programme she didn't discard those dresses for being quite strange to our eyes. She stored them as was her habit.

May be after 15 / 20 years there was a scene from " Savitri". She took out those dresses, chose some, got long black, blue and silver ribbons stitched the whole length coming around the neck. The costumes took a new look and we used them quite a few times after wards.

She had a very able group of ladies who used to help her in her theater work. For dressing and hairdos there were Suman ben, Shakuntala bhavi, Krishna ben, later on Bharati and others joined the group. For make up in the beginning we had Minni-di, Sutapa and even Chimanbhai (The photographer); later on Gauri Pinto and Jhumur came in to help with make up and then there is Sharat-bhai who still continues with Sharda and her group.

For distributing the dinner there were mainly Usha ben and Jayshree ben, later on Varuni and others came to help. Jayshree ben would collect lemons from The D.R. Squeeze them the whole afternoon, make juice to give a fresh lemonade to the participants which sometimes reached 200 mark. The dedication of these ladies only made one realise how they gave themselves completely to The Mother's work.

There were days when the cultural programme finished around 12 or 12.30 A.M. After that there would be dinner, a small discussion, clearing up everything after dinner, putting back things in there respective places, and we would return to our rooms sometimes at 1.30 or 2 A.M. But as all of us worked in some department or the other, next morning everyone would try to be in there respective department on time. And that was the beauty that we witnessed in all those old Sadhiikas.

Sunayna has written extensively about her in her book. So Millie-di's work upstairs in The Ashram, her department of embroidery, batik, fabric painting must have been spoken in detail. It is my contact with her as an artist and as an helper which I feel can be shared with others.

 

Ravindra ji

Ravindraji was a sadhak who evoked awe in some, anger in other and even dislike in a few. When I became an Ashramite as a student in 1953, Ravindraji was one of the most important sadhaks in charge of quite a few departments.

A tall and well built individual, fair complexioned, who was never in a hurry. He was in charge of deciding the department in which one was to work when accepted by The Mother as a sadhak; distribution of meals in The Dining Room. Again distribution of butter on weekly basis (which stopped); tea and sugar distribution on the first of every month for those who wanted to take their quota at home. But according to me the most important of all his duties had been his personal service in making butter and fruit juice for The Mother.

He was also in charge of the Hindi section of our school and later had to look after Laundry and Bakery.

He lived in The Ashram premises by the side of the Prosperity office. The Mother sanctioned two rooms to be constructed above his and Prithwi Singh da's room. When he shifted on the first floor his old room was converted into a cold storage. Fruits were stored there; but after The Mother 's passing it has been altered into a storage for The Mother's and Sri Aurobindo's manuscripts and also other important papers of The Ashram archive.

The fruit room was and still is above the Prosperity office. On the western side of The Ashram building near Ravindraji old room there is a window. The fruits arriving from different Ashram gardens were taken inside through that window and then the trays were lifted to the first floor which was quite a heavy work. So Ravindraji suggested that there should be an automatic lift for those trays, hearing which The Mother it seems said "Don't my boys and girls do physical exercises? They should be able to pull up the trays in a lift worked manually." The lift was installed and it is still there near the Prosperity office.

There is a cold room adjacent to the fruit room. After receiving the fruits from the gardens, Ravindraji  took hours to select fruits for The Mother and store them in that small cold storage. The rest was distributed next morning to the Ashramites. Even today the distribution continues.

when I joined the school I often heard a group of youngsters calling Ravindra-ji "Vandi-da" The genesis of this special name is quite interesting and amusing. There were many sadhaks even in those early days, who had such duty that they couldn't go to The Dinning Hall in time fixed for meals. So their meals were sent home in tiffin carriers. I  have seen the process at that period. Damodar bhai, a sadhak pulling a hand cart with tiffin carriers and Ravindraji walking by the side. But earlier it was Ravindra-ji who would fill up the tiffin carriers, put them in the mentioned hand cart, pull it from house to house and distribute the carriers. Thus he was called by some "Vandi - da"; vandi in Tamil meaning a vehicle.

As I have already mentioned he was also in charge of distribution of meals in The Dining hall. Thus on Darshan days we the younger generation were permitted to help in The D.R. Work. Some washed or wiped the dishes, spoons etc. others distributed food at the counter. We were seven, ten girls working at the counter. There were Urmilaben, Kanta, Sumedha, Parul, Usha-ben (Urmilaben's sister), myself and some others.

On Darshan days The Mother distributed Messages, and all Ashramites and visitors went to the first floor to have the Message from The Mother's Hand. The chair on which She sat is still there near the door at the right side of the chair now a sadhak sits to distribute The Darshan Messages.

At about 10.30 A.M. Ravindraji would come from his work in the fruit room and join the queue and we all who worked in The Dining Hall counter would follow him to go to The Mother. As long as there was the distribution of The Message by The Mother, we always followed Ravindraji.

Anuben was in charge of our dancing section. Initially she taught all the students herself. Later she began to hand over some classes of younger girls to the senior students. After I had learnt for few years she asked me to teach a small batch of girls aged 8/9 years. Thus began my life as a dance teacher. We have only one Dance hall and the students number increased gradually. Then we were obliged to conduct classes even in the evening after the groups. The Dance Hall was kept locked and who ever had a class in the evening had to go to Anuben's room, collect the keys of the Dancing Hall, and after the class leave the keys in their proper place in Anuben's room which was adjacent to Ravindaji's. While going to get the key or while returning them I met him some time coming out of the cold storage or seated on his small balcony doing something. Once in a while I would step or he would stop me to ask about the students, classes etc.

I had washed The Mother's lunch tray for a couple of years under his direction. It was then that I came to know him a little better and began to talk to him more freely.

By late seventies I had stopped conducting regular dance classes and also work in The Dining Hall on special occasions due to health reason. Thus my contact with him became quite irregular. I would like to share something he said regarding "The wish of a soul".

Satu-da an old sadhak (age wise, as well as his life in the Ashram) had practically adopted me as a grand-child. He walked with a stick and often found it difficult to cross the roads. So often I would accompany him and help him to cross the roads. When he became infirm and could no more go out of his room, I went to see him in his room once or twice a month.

Now we have two establishments "Care and Desirée Home" to look after the elders of the Ashram, but earlier days when a sadhak or sadhika lived alone he/she was left to the care of two servants. One would come in the morning and one at the night. Naturally Satu-da was also looked after two servants.

It so happened I was unable to visit him for more than a month or so, when I went to him next, the servant on duty informed me that Satu-da was suffering from bed soars and ant bite. I went near and found that his back was all raw with blisters and his toes were nibbled away by the ants. I was shocked and extremely disturbed. After leaving his room I went to Sisir-da and when he heard what I had to say he advised me to inform Nolini-da. I went to Nolini-da's and after hearing me he commented," But so and so was supposed to look after Satu-da and he never spoke anything of the type! Alright you go, I will let The Mother know."  (Three weeks after this date Satu-da passed away peacefully.)

Coming out of The Meditation Hall I saw Ravindraji crossing The Ashram courtyard. We met near Pujalal ji's room and seeing me he asked "Kee hocchhe? (what's the matter!)

In that state of distress I began to narrate him but he stopped me short and asked me to follow him. We went to his balcony. After sitting on the stone bench he asked me to narrate to him in detail. As conclusion I uttered "Ma onke niye nicchen na keno? (why doesn't The Mother take him to Her!)"

He stopped me with a firm gesture "don't say this!:" and then narrated something which I believe is interesting for all of us.

"There was a sadhak in the early fifties, I believe his name was "Krishna ayya" who was suffering from cancer. In those days there was hardly any medicine for the disease not even to reduce the pain. Krishna ayya would scream through out some nights. He lived where there is the Atelier office, that is just on the other side of the road to Ravindraji's. One night it must have been very painful and Ravindraji heard him scream whole night. When Ravindraji went to The Mother for his daily pranam and report to The Mother he informed Her what he heard at night and said "why don't you take him to You Mother!"

Mother stopped him short with a stern look and said, "How do you know his soul doesn't want it?"

Narrating this Ravindraji looked at me, and said, "do you understand!"