The 'psychological preparation' of Satprem for his role as The Mother's confidant, as She narrated her experiences of the 'yoga of the cells' from 1951-1973.
This first volume is mostly what could be called the "psychological preparation" of Satprem. Mother's confidant had to be prepared, not only to understand the evolutionary meaning of Mother's discoveries, to follow the tenuous thread of man's great future unravelled through so many apparently disconcerting experiences - which certainly required a steady personal determination for more than 19 years! - but also, in a way, he had to share the battle against the many established forces that account for the present human mode of being and bear the onslaught of the New Force. Satprem - "True Love" - as Mother called him, was a reluctant disciple. Formed in the French Cartesian mold, a freedom fighter against the Nazis and in love with his freedom, he was always ready to run away, and always coming back, drawn by a love greater than his love for freedom. Slowly she conquered him, slowly he came to understand the poignant drama of this lone and indomitable woman, struggling in the midst of an all-too-human humanity in her attempt to open man's golden future. Week after week, privately, she confided to him her intimate experiences, the progress of her endeavour, the obstacles, the setbacks, as well as anecdotes of her life, her hopes, her conquests and laughter: she was able to be herself with him. He loved her and she trusted him. It is that simple.
I would like to see you much more often, perhaps three or four times a week, every other day—if people would ...
It's the same with the letters.
They assassinate me with their letters.
The little basket I put them in can no longer close! I take 45 minutes every morning upstairs to write letters. And I receive six, seven, eight, ten letters a day, so how can I manage? In the end, Sri Aurobindo spent the whole night writing letters—till he went blind.
Myself, I can't afford to do that, I have other things to do. And I'm not keen on going blind either. I need my eyes, they are my work instruments.
On top of that, there are all the people who want to see me. Now everyone wants to see me! And since they are happy after coming once, they ask to come again! If I were very disagreeable and told them ... (Mother laughs) but that can't be done.
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... We should not allow all this to upset us. There is but one thing to do—remain in a state of constant peace, constant equanimity, for things are not ... they are not very pleasant. Oh, if you only knew all the letters they write me ... if you knew, first of all, the tremendous pile of stupidities that need never be written at all; then, added to that, such a display of ignorance, egoism, bad will, total incomprehension and unequalled ingratitude, and all this ... so candid, my child! They heap all this on me daily, you know, and it comes from the most unexpected quarters.
If this were to affect me (Mother laughs), I would long ago have been ... who knows where. I don't care at all, not at all, really not at all—it doesn't bother me, it makes me smile.
(silence)
So don't let yourself be upset ... I often think of you, for I know how very sensitive you are to all this. It is ... it is really ugly. A whole realm of human intelligence (it's too great a compliment to call that intelligence), of the human mind, that is very, very ... repugnant. We must come out of that. It doesn't touch us. WE are elsewhere—elsewhere. We are NOT in that rut! We are elsewhere, automatically.
Our head is above.
I myself see you outside, I feel you outside, I always meet you there.
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