The 'psychological preparation' of Satprem for his role as The Mother's confidant, as She narrated her experiences of the 'yoga of the cells' from 1951-1973.
This first volume is mostly what could be called the "psychological preparation" of Satprem. Mother's confidant had to be prepared, not only to understand the evolutionary meaning of Mother's discoveries, to follow the tenuous thread of man's great future unravelled through so many apparently disconcerting experiences - which certainly required a steady personal determination for more than 19 years! - but also, in a way, he had to share the battle against the many established forces that account for the present human mode of being and bear the onslaught of the New Force. Satprem - "True Love" - as Mother called him, was a reluctant disciple. Formed in the French Cartesian mold, a freedom fighter against the Nazis and in love with his freedom, he was always ready to run away, and always coming back, drawn by a love greater than his love for freedom. Slowly she conquered him, slowly he came to understand the poignant drama of this lone and indomitable woman, struggling in the midst of an all-too-human humanity in her attempt to open man's golden future. Week after week, privately, she confided to him her intimate experiences, the progress of her endeavour, the obstacles, the setbacks, as well as anecdotes of her life, her hopes, her conquests and laughter: she was able to be herself with him. He loved her and she trusted him. It is that simple.
(Mother arrives from a meditation with X, the tantric guru)
I come empty-handed...
(Mother remains absorbed for a long time)
I sat down shortly before ten o'clock for meditation. I was in my normal state and I was interested to see if there would be any
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difference from earlier times. And really, at first there was no difference at all. Then slowly, slowly, I felt this type of smiling and serene peace that I live in entering into the body. The cells are still not always conscious of it (sometimes they feel a sort of... tension of life—I don't know what to call it). They're conscious of their existence and of what it means and of the Energy that is acting (yes, conscious of the Action and the Energy that acts), but during the meditation THAT descended and there was an extraordinary relaxation. Not the relaxation that comes with surrender,1 which I normally feel before sleeping, but the relaxation that comes from a kind of serene, immutable and eternal joy. At that moment the body felt it could remain like that forever! 'Oh, how nice I feel!...' it said. And as a matter of fact, I'm not sure but I think he felt the meditation was over, whereas I was still... I felt him stirring, so I stopped.
There was a marked difference.
For when something isn't right, a pressure always comes down on the body from above, the pressure of the descending Force. But in this case it wasn't that at all; rather, it was like this (Mother holds her palms upwards in an attitude of total surrender), but beatific in that it lives in itself, it is existence in itself—and that's all.
I came here in that state directly after the meditation, and when I sat down ... You see, I didn't even have the ... (naturally there is no question of 'idea') I don't know, not even the instinct to pick up a flower for you, you understand? And when I sat down here, the consciousness of the column of Light started coming. There was no more personality, no more individuality: there was only a column of Light descending right into the very cells of the body—and that's all.
Then it gradually became conscious of itself, conscious of BEING this column of Light. And then the ordinary consciousness slowly returned.
(silence)
It's interesting for me to come here soon after the meditation, for it's as if I were objectivizing my experience. Otherwise I'd be within, like that (gesture), and there's no longer any ... (you see, I say 'I'—but at that moment it doesn't exist!) and even THE BODY
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feels this way, a kind of immutable and beatific eternity, and that's all.
I tell you, not even ... When I arrived, I said to you, 'My hands are empty'; merely the contact with your atmosphere made me say it. But otherwise the 'my,' the 'hands'—none of it had any meaning.
It's interesting.
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