Mother’s Agenda 1969

April 23, 1969

(Mother received Satprem at 11 instead of 10.)

It's frightful, mon petit!... Oh, there were lots of amusing things to tell you, but it's no fun, we're too hurried....

Oh, you know, Mother, I wanted to tell you one thing: the whole gossip in the Ashram is that you sent L. to Delhi with a message regarding the events in Bengal and telling the government that it should be strong—the whole Ashram knows it!

(Mother laughs)... They were VERY WELL received in Delhi. A. [a secretary to the government] came back and told me that Indira was in conversation for twenty or twenty-five minutes, and that she seemed quite happy. It was a complete success.

But you know, you can't stop them from talking! They can't help it: they're terrible, they'll talk rubbish on any subject under the sun. They even said, it seems, about that poor man, the chief minister¹

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of Madras who died of cancer, that I had said he was a very bad man, and that's why he died! That sort of thing, you understand.

Now I've grown used to it. All the rubbish in the world they will tell—it's the whole system that should be dissolved!

(silence)

What about you? How are you?

[Satprem complains about his eyes]... Otherwise I am fine, Mother.

But don't work too much! (Laughing) I preach laziness!

I had lots of things to tell you, and strangely, my watch stopped; I had no idea of the time, so I asked, "What time is it?" They told me, "It's quarter to eleven." It gave me such a shock (laughing) that everything I wanted to tell you went away! vrpp, like that!

(silence)

But it's interesting, the work has entered an interesting phase.

(After a silence) Yes, I wrote something (Mother looks for a piece of paper).... The trouble is that once I've noted it, it's gone. And it was... (Mother tries to remember).

Yes, it was someone who wrote to me... I don't remember, it was about "consecration." But I remember that when I answered, I looked, and I saw... (what should I call it?) the curve, but it's not exactly a curve.... You understand, consecration, self-giving, surrender (not "submission"), all that still implies a separate self giving itself. And I saw—in fact, I saw in the body's experience—that the body is on the verge of... it's just in an intermediary state, because all the parts haven't exactly reached the same stage (I don't know why, but that's how it is). So I might say (but this is a simplification), I could say that overall, the body's self-giving is total, the consecration almost total in the sense that there's everywhere an active collaboration, but with an intense aspiration, and at times a moment when it goes like this (gesture expressing a swelling in the cells). I don't know what happens, it's something going on in the cells, and then... there's no self-giving anymore or anything... neither a "consecration" nor "listening to the command": it's a state, a state of intense vibration, with at the same time a sense of all-powerfulness, even in here (Mother pinches the skin of her hands), in this old thing, and... a luminous all-powerfulness, always with

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this... something in the line of goodness, of benevolence, but much above that (those things look like ridiculous distortions). It goes like this (same gesture of swelling), and static, that is, with the sense of eternity in the cells.

It doesn't last—it lasts for a few minutes at the most; yes, a few minutes, but it comes back. It comes back. it's something COMPLETELY new for the body.

All the time—constantly, all the time—there is the warmth, the sweetness and happiness of a complete self-giving, with an aspiration: "To BE, to be You, not to exist anymore." But there's still a sense of... it's the joy of giving oneself. It's like that, constant. And when the consciousness isn't active, that is, when I don't speak or don't listen or... automatically the body repeats the mantra like that, constantly like that; that's the constant state, day and night, continually. But now and then—now and then—there's a sort of fusion (I don't know what happens), and even that whole joyful aspiration, that whole fervor is transformed into a state... which is, or seems, perfectly still, because... I don't know what it is: it's not stillness, not eternity... I don't know, it's something, a "something" that is... Power, Light, and really a Love which doesn't "give" itself and does not "receive"; a Love which... something (I use this word for lack of others), something like that, but it's That, it's a vibration which is That, a vibration of Power, Light and Love (those are the three words I must use to translate), which is IN this, in the body, everywhere. Everywhere. To such a point that when you leave that state, you wonder (laughing) if you still have the same shape! That's how it is, you understand.

It's new—it began two days ago.

It's not constant. It comes when I am left in peace ([laughing] which doesn't happen often!), when I can melt into the joy of belonging to the Divine (something like that). There isn't even the idea of "being the Divine," it's not that! That seems so silly! The first time I read that, to me it was the height of egoism: You are the Divine! (Laughing) It's not the Divine who contains you, it's you who contain the Divine, don't forget!... But there is the joy of wholly belonging to the Divine, and suddenly (gesture of breaking away) something takes place... (Mother shows the absence of any more separation, of a "giving" and of a "someone" to give oneself to).

Strangely, as soon as there's the slightest slackening in the attitude, for instance, a second of forgetfulness (what I might call "forgetfulness," that is, the former old habit, the old terrestrial habit of being), the body instantly feels about to be dissolved. And

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that, strangely, is something... The body is now aware that it can hold together, exist together ONLY through the Lord's Power, not through any natural law—that it knows—and so, at such times, brr! there can come two or three seconds like that: you feel everything, but everything is about to be dissolved.

Strange.

With people, unless (this is rare), unless they are quite unbearable (but that's very rare), with people, this [body] no longer exists: what's there is the Divine Consciousness at work, observing, working, answering, and (laughing) sometimes full of mischief! A mischief so full of goodness, but quite mischievous. And an extraordinary sense of humor.

Well, there you are. So it's all right. In a way, it's all right. I feel it's still... Let's see, let me try to mentalize a bit: the impression is as if the supreme Consciousness had undertaken the work of transformation of the body and were doing it thoroughly, but also without hesitation, without compromise or anything of the sort, and... the question is whether the body will hold out. That's how it is. The body knows it—it knows and doesn't have a shadow of fear, I must say—it's all the same to it: "What You want will be fine." At times it feels a little suffering for one thing or another, a little friction (a pain here or there... some pains aren't too pleasant), and at such times it always says (Mother opens her hands): "As You will, Lord." And within a few minutes at the most, the thing calms down. But it has stopped wondering whether or not it will last, whether or not it will succeed—all that is over, gone: "It's as You will, as You will." It uses those words because we can use only one language, which is quite incapable of expressing things; we don't know anything else, so we use that language. When it says, "As You will," there's this movement of... (gesture of dilation and expansion) what should I call it?... It's like an easing in all the cells—they ease up. They ease up in the supreme Light, in the supreme Consciousness, like that. Then you feel the form is about to disappear, but... (Mother looks at the skin of her hands) it must be the consciousness contained in the cells [that spreads about]; I don't think it's the substance, because (Mother looks at the skin of her hands) so far it has remained as it is! But that [easing] stays there for a rather long time.

But there are no words to express that, because I think... (I don't know whether some people felt it, but if they did, they didn't know what it was because they didn't express it), I think it's new. It's new for the body. It's new. A sort of... as if one were tense, and the tension were easing, easing up... (same gesture of expansion and

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diffusion). Yes, it's quite like that, as when one is tense, like someone full of tension, and it eases up. Now it's like that for all the cells.

There, enough chatter for now!

(Satprem gets up)

I'll give you the perpetual Smile of the divine Consciousness.

(Mother gives a Champak flower²)

And roses... here. (To Sujata:) For you too.