Starts the terrible years.The change is DONE: a new mode of being of the cellular consciousness has appeared on earth. The future awaits - will the 'old' yield?
The beginning of the terrible years.... There was the feeling that Mother had found the secret of the change, conquered all she could from her own body, and that she was now sitting there, surrounded by the pack, just putting up with each and every resistance of the old species. "The change is DONE. Everything is tooth and nail, ferociously after me, but it's over." A new mode of being of the cellular consciousness had appeared on earth, as one day, in inert matter, there appeared a new mode of being called life - but this time it is "overlife": "The impression there is a way of being of the cells that would be the beginning of a new body; only, when that comes, the body itself feels it is dying." What would be the feeling of the first corpuscle to experience life? "The body feels it has reached the point of.... unknown. A very, very strange sensation. A sort of new vibration. It's so new that.... I can't speak of anguish, but it's.... the unknown. A mystery of the unknown." And there, what we call death is like the other side of the bowl for the former fish, and yet it is not "another world": "They are surprisingly one within the other! There is something there.... Is it possible? For overlife is both life and death together." And then, this cry of the breakthrough: "What appears to us as 'the laws of nature' is nonsense!...." Another world ON EARTH in which the old mortal laws of our bowl break down.... into something else? "I have just had a fantastic vision of the cradle of a future.... which is not very far. It's like a formidable mass suspended above the earth." But will the old pack let her go through to the end?
There seems to be a more and more powerful Pressure, and all difficulties are arising (gesture of rising from below). People quarrel and... oh!
And it's not just here, it's all over the country. And I am told it's all over the world.
You know, it's like a Pressure... (gesture of implacable descent), so everything rises.
(Mother's voice is husky)
A dozen letters everyday, from people imploring for help.... Everything is becoming difficult.
Things will probably have to become still more difficult.
It looks like that.... Only, its... just at breaking point.
Page 147
Russia and America have reached, they say, the "balance of terror."
It's frightening.
(Mother plunges in)
I am unable to speak. I can maybe just answer a question, but I can't speak.
What can one do?
What can one do?...
(Mother goes back into a contemplation till the end)
It can go on indefinitely!
Every time I try to ask myself a question, or to ask you, I feel it's futile—it melts away.
Yes, that's how it is.
The only thing is to be like this [gesture with hands open].
(Mother laughs)
Then it's fine, very fine....
Yes.
But the impression is that there's nothing else to do.
(Mother smiles and goes elsewhere)
I think it will be better if you bring questions.... I have difficulty speaking, but I can speak.
Page 148
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