Starts the terrible years.The change is DONE: a new mode of being of the cellular consciousness has appeared on earth. The future awaits - will the 'old' yield?
The beginning of the terrible years.... There was the feeling that Mother had found the secret of the change, conquered all she could from her own body, and that she was now sitting there, surrounded by the pack, just putting up with each and every resistance of the old species. "The change is DONE. Everything is tooth and nail, ferociously after me, but it's over." A new mode of being of the cellular consciousness had appeared on earth, as one day, in inert matter, there appeared a new mode of being called life - but this time it is "overlife": "The impression there is a way of being of the cells that would be the beginning of a new body; only, when that comes, the body itself feels it is dying." What would be the feeling of the first corpuscle to experience life? "The body feels it has reached the point of.... unknown. A very, very strange sensation. A sort of new vibration. It's so new that.... I can't speak of anguish, but it's.... the unknown. A mystery of the unknown." And there, what we call death is like the other side of the bowl for the former fish, and yet it is not "another world": "They are surprisingly one within the other! There is something there.... Is it possible? For overlife is both life and death together." And then, this cry of the breakthrough: "What appears to us as 'the laws of nature' is nonsense!...." Another world ON EARTH in which the old mortal laws of our bowl break down.... into something else? "I have just had a fantastic vision of the cradle of a future.... which is not very far. It's like a formidable mass suspended above the earth." But will the old pack let her go through to the end?
(Regrettably, Satprem did not preserve the recording of the following conversation, perhaps feeling too acutely the negative appearance of Mother's difficulties, although that very negativity was the condition of the experience. At the beginning of the conversation, Mother makes a fair copy of a text to be reproduced.)
My eyesight has gone down a lot these last two days.
(silence)
There's a difficulty.... I am beginning to be unable to eat, so... Things are becoming difficult.
Is it the consciousness or the body?
It's... I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Page 141
The body seems to be straddling... (gesture between two worlds). Naturally, it still has all the old habits, so that makes for... it makes for a queer thing. It's only the consciousness that's clearer than it has ever been. Consciousness of what goes on in people... But speaking is a difficult thing, very difficult, and the sight is... (Mother shakes her head).
(long silence)
Don't know.
It really is a very strange condition. Very strange.
You know, this whole base, from automatism to all the things one does out of habit, is... (yes, there's an enormous quantity of things one does automatically)... it's gone. So that's... difficult.
It's especially, especially the question of eating, because for an extremely long time (many years) there has been no interest in food, none at all. It's taken only... it's taken with a certain knowledge of what is needed, but that's all. Well, now, it's... almost difficult to swallow. Especially that: very difficult to swallow.
(Mother goes into a long contemplation)
There is also a difficulty breathing. Breath is... is short.
What's going to happen? I don't know. (Mother laughs)
But the Power is more and more massive, I feel.
Yes, yes. Oh, and at times... Listen, yesterday I saw a boy who'd taken a wrong turn (he is in Auroville). He'd taken a wrong turn, had rebelled and didn't want to do anything anymore. Anyway... So I wrote him to come. Every Tuesday, they come from Auroville, four of them. He came with them. He came in... closed, blocked. I said absolutely nothing, I looked at him, simply looked... (gesture). After a few minutes, brrt! everything melted. And then he expressed it.
Page 142
Without saying anything, not a word, simply...
Such things take place all the time, all the time. It's odd, the body acts as an intermediary (gesture radiating through the body), like that, simply like that.
But I am constantly out of breath.... I don't think there's any disease, I don't get that impression. On the contrary, I get the impression that certain things are rather getting better (oh, nothing very spectacular, but some things do get better). But there are two difficulties: one is breathing—short, very short—and the other is eating.... Drinking, I can still drink.
And I would really like not to reach a condition where I'll be asked to see a doctor, because they can't understand....
Did I give you flowers?
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