Starts the terrible years.The change is DONE: a new mode of being of the cellular consciousness has appeared on earth. The future awaits - will the 'old' yield?
The beginning of the terrible years.... There was the feeling that Mother had found the secret of the change, conquered all she could from her own body, and that she was now sitting there, surrounded by the pack, just putting up with each and every resistance of the old species. "The change is DONE. Everything is tooth and nail, ferociously after me, but it's over." A new mode of being of the cellular consciousness had appeared on earth, as one day, in inert matter, there appeared a new mode of being called life - but this time it is "overlife": "The impression there is a way of being of the cells that would be the beginning of a new body; only, when that comes, the body itself feels it is dying." What would be the feeling of the first corpuscle to experience life? "The body feels it has reached the point of.... unknown. A very, very strange sensation. A sort of new vibration. It's so new that.... I can't speak of anguish, but it's.... the unknown. A mystery of the unknown." And there, what we call death is like the other side of the bowl for the former fish, and yet it is not "another world": "They are surprisingly one within the other! There is something there.... Is it possible? For overlife is both life and death together." And then, this cry of the breakthrough: "What appears to us as 'the laws of nature' is nonsense!...." Another world ON EARTH in which the old mortal laws of our bowl break down.... into something else? "I have just had a fantastic vision of the cradle of a future.... which is not very far. It's like a formidable mass suspended above the earth." But will the old pack let her go through to the end?
(Mother gives Satprem a calendar notepad, then a felt pen.)
What color is it?
It's violet.
The violet of power.
(Mother looks in vain for a green pencil for Sujata and finally gives her a blue one)
Do you have something?
(Mother goes into a long contemplation. Her breathing is better, becomes peaceful, but now and then there are involuntary movements of the left leg and the shoulders, especially the right shoulder.)
Do you have anything?
Is there anything new?
(Mother shakes her head and plunges in again)
Do you really have nothing to read me?
If you. like, I could read you my new book....1 It will be reassuring because I don't know where I am going.
That's good. I'll be happy to hear it.
(Mother plunges in again)
It's all right (in an unconvinced tone).
What time is it?
Quarter past eleven.
Page 337
(Mother looks a few times, but goes away straight off)
So the next time, you'll bring your book.
(After Satprem's departure, Sujata tells Mother about young women of her generation, who do not have the advantage of being "close to Mother" or in the circle of "important persons," and who suffer from never seeing Mother. This was in fact—which is why we record it—a very central problem at the Ashram: a sort of dichotomy between the simple elements who washed the dishes, stitched clothes or greased cars, and who were there simply with their love for Mother, and the "leading" elements, who increasingly revealed their ambitious and therefore warped nature. Yet it was with that thick circle that Mother had to work almost daily, and that is what made her difficulty, if not suffocation. With Sujata, Mother agreed to receive in rotation a number of those young and simple elements—unfortunately, that new opening will soon be blocked by circumstances: a new serious turning point in Mother's yoga, then other "impossibilities.")
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