Starts the terrible years.The change is DONE: a new mode of being of the cellular consciousness has appeared on earth. The future awaits - will the 'old' yield?
The beginning of the terrible years.... There was the feeling that Mother had found the secret of the change, conquered all she could from her own body, and that she was now sitting there, surrounded by the pack, just putting up with each and every resistance of the old species. "The change is DONE. Everything is tooth and nail, ferociously after me, but it's over." A new mode of being of the cellular consciousness had appeared on earth, as one day, in inert matter, there appeared a new mode of being called life - but this time it is "overlife": "The impression there is a way of being of the cells that would be the beginning of a new body; only, when that comes, the body itself feels it is dying." What would be the feeling of the first corpuscle to experience life? "The body feels it has reached the point of.... unknown. A very, very strange sensation. A sort of new vibration. It's so new that.... I can't speak of anguish, but it's.... the unknown. A mystery of the unknown." And there, what we call death is like the other side of the bowl for the former fish, and yet it is not "another world": "They are surprisingly one within the other! There is something there.... Is it possible? For overlife is both life and death together." And then, this cry of the breakthrough: "What appears to us as 'the laws of nature' is nonsense!...." Another world ON EARTH in which the old mortal laws of our bowl break down.... into something else? "I have just had a fantastic vision of the cradle of a future.... which is not very far. It's like a formidable mass suspended above the earth." But will the old pack let her go through to the end?
(Mother appears very withdrawn.)
I found some old papers again....
(Satprem reads)
"When you stand in the light of the Supreme Consciousness you must not make a shadow."
I told you the story....1 That's fine.
(silence)
What have you brought?
There is the November Bulletin.... Is there anything new?
No.
(Then Satprem proposes to publish some fragments of the conversation of September 9—the infernal Agenda—in the Bulletin.)
Regarding Sri Aurobindo,2 we mustn't put it in the Bulletin.... That's impossible, it would cause a revolution.
As for the end,3 that's terrible—we can't put that.
I'll leave only what I told you: "We shall conquer, Mother," and your answer, "Yes." And that's all.
It's difficult to put that without... without something comforting.
Do you have something comforting?
(Mother laughs, long silence meditation)
Peace has returned again.
Page 329
What do we do for this Agenda? Do we publish it like that?
There should be something at the end.... Because now that [the "hell"] is gone, it's quite gone. We should somehow say that I have come out of it.
There's this "We shall conquer, Mother" left at the end.
Yes. All right.
(long silence)
I'd like something comforting at the end.... I don't have it this time.
It will be for February.
February next year?... (Mother seems to find it far away)
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