The Secret Splendour

  Poems


SRI AUROBINDO'S COMMENTS

 

On a Number of Poems not included in Overhead Poetry


At the Foot of Kanchinjanga

 

"Flic poem is a good one, with beauty and distinction both in its thought and in its language." (1930)

 

Revelaition

 

"The poem contains nothing of the highest quality but it is well-conceived and well-written and well-rhythmed. The last verse is the best because at once large in thought and simple and poetically sincere." (1931)

 

Surya

 

[On an early version (7.2.31), Sri Aurobindo commented:]

 

"Your language and rhythm are much more perfect, more full and deep and harmonious than before. There is still wanting the last subtle element which makes both language and rhythm sovereign and inevitable; but that may come in time—as you have already had it or something very close to it in a line or couplet here and there."

 

[Later (2.10.1934) I wrote "This is a slightly altered form of a poem seen by you years ago (1931). I have tried to give a last touch which seemed to have been lacking. How is it now, and what kind of style does it have?" Sri Aurobindo replied:

 

"It is good. (Effective [style] with a heightening towards the illumined as it goes on.)"

 

Far Flute

 

"Yes, it is a good poem. The beauty of the last two verses, especially the third, lies in a certain strong, straightforward, subtle and delicate simplicity rising to profundity and


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grandeur in the last two lines." The following lines were marked: 6,7,8: "are among the best you have written"; 10,11,12: "you have a very striking and profoundly suggestive image"; last line of verse 2: "Very good line"; lines 4-11 of verse 3: "All this close is excellent." (9,4,31)

 

Ultima

 

"It is very good, especially the last verse. The closing line of the first stanza and that of the third—to say nothing of the last line of all which is the best—are very fine poetry . As a whole it shows an easy mastery of poetic language and rhythm in English—the natural mastery an English poet might have." (18.5.31)

 

Canticle

 

"Very good." (?.5.31)

 

The Secret Splendour

 

[On the first draft:] "First verse admirable—also the fourth line of the second verse. But the second verse is far from perfect. Poetry that arrives at its aim gives the reader a sense of satisfying finality in the expression (even when the substance is insignificant); it is like an arrow that hits the target in the centre. Poetry that passes by the target or hits only the outside of it, either fails or gets a partial success, but in any case it does not carry that sense of satisfying finality. This is the difference between the two verses."

 

[On the second draft of verse 2:] Lines 1-3 "stand with a very bad grace beside the poetic quality of the closing lines."

 

[On the third version of lines 1-3 in verse 2:] "Your new version will do."


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Young-hearted River

 

"Good—especially the last twelve lines, which are very fine. This is genuine lyrical poetry, felicitous in speech, unexceptionable in rhythm." (22.8.31)

 

Hierophantic

 

"A very good poem." [The lines 'Curb and 'The self-sufficient clang were noted by Sri Aurobindo for their expressive quality.] (1.9.31)

 

"O Divine Adorable Mere ..."

 

"It is not so poor as you seem to make out. The thought is fine and the feeling is there; the expression is good but in places there are failures of fineness in the details, especially in certain turns of the language." [In the version printed here the few 'failures' have disappeared owing to Sri Aurobindo's finishing touch.] (4.9.31)

 

To Maheshwari

 

"The poem does not call for destruction; it has a sort of modernised Elizabethanness about it that is very attractive." (15.9.31)

 

Night in the Open

 

[In reply to the question "Please tell me if these fifteen lines can stand as a complete, satisfying poem. At present I don't quite know how to continue or improve them." Sri Aurobindo replied:]


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"It seems to me complete as it is, and satisfying also." (7.10.31)

 

Canzonet

 

"It is very good, remarkably graceful and delicate."

(15.10.31)

 

Sages

 

"The poem is very fine. I find your rhymes often rather coldly and vacantly distant from one another; there is, for example, between 'astir' and 'wanderer' all the space that divides London from Tokyo. However, that is perhaps on my part the prejudice of an ear trained to closer and more companionate rhyme systems; in any case this poem is felicitous enough for it not to matter. Let me point out, however, that once 'on the sheer, truth-luminous peaks' there is no chance of a fall—a willed descent would be possible but not a tumble! That, however, is no objection from the poetic point of view; the poet is allowed to pose impossibilities in order to drive his suggestions more intensely home." (18.10.31)

 

My Prayer

 

[Sri Aurobindo's comment on the version of which this is the final draft:]

 

"I think, if you omit the two weak lines and make the three or four slight alterations 1 suggest, it will make a fine poem, close-knit and single idea'd as you want it, and also grave and profound, with a very penetrating mystic and symbolic image." (1931)


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On my poetry up to the end of August 1931:

 

"Your possibility lies in a combination of refined elevation and subtle elegance, the Virgilian and not the Aeschylean manner, with which an attempt at overterse compactness of thought does not agree." (26.8.1931)

 

AE's comment on some poems of mine sent by D.K. Roy:

 

"Many lines show a talent for rhythm which is remarkable, since the poet is not Writing in his native but in a learned language." (6.1.1932)

 

Bard

 

'Yes, it is good poetry. The fourth line and the opening of the last verse seem to me very striking and felicitous in thought and phrase. The rhythm is very good throughout."

(March 1932)

 

Maya

 

"It is a good poem." (30.3.32]

 

Sri Krishna

 

"The poem just missed being a fine one. With these few alterations (very slight, after all) in wording and rhythm, I think the miss becomes a hit But how does it express the essence of Avatarhood? It may be said to express the response of the embodied Soul to the divine Descent.

 

"I don't quite understand the 'from' in the second line and suggest 'in' instead. If the 'glory of unimaginable Love' is the Avatar, it does not arise from the abject clay but descends into it and manifests in it. In any case 'in' gives a more poetic suggestion." (25.1.32)


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Rishi Parasara's; Invocation

 

"It is very good indeed. In this there is the true inspiration, felicity and power of phrase, and rhythms that are not common or obvious and are subtly effective." (8.5.32)

 

Radha's Rebuke to the Worldly-minded

 

[I wrote: "This poem almost out-Brookes Rupert Brooke, at two or three places, in distant rhyming. I hope this defect is not unforgivable. Has it, otherwise, inspiration enough?"] "Yes, it is a good poem." (3 6.32)

 

A Freudian's Midnight Meditation

 

[In reply to my question, ''If you don't mind, will you make a brief criticism of this, shall I say 'mystical phantasy'?" Sri Aurobindo replied:]

 

"I have no criticism to offer it is very well done. I don't know why it is called Freudian; it seems, so far as I can understand it, an agnosticisation of a semi-Christian-mystic materialised Buddhist-Adwaita Inconscience-subconscience-superconscience worship. Is that right? Probably not,—for as I am not in sympathy with the worship of Divine or Undivine Darkness, my penchant being for Light, I have probably not grasped the hear of the mystery." (7.6.32)

 

Names

 

"It is well done." (7.6.32)


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The Great Bear

 

"It is a very good poem." (9.6 32)

 

The Great Bear [trs.]

 

"It is a good translation." (14. 6.32)

 

The Dead

 

"It is well done." (20.6.32)

 

Singers of the Spirit

 

a) [First version:] "there are good lines (couplets) marked ... [stanza 2, lines 1-2; stanza 5, lines 4-5; stanza 4, lines 1-2, 4-5], though they fall off to closing lines of a more common manufacture." (19.6.32)

 

b) [In a second version "Our banners of song-beauty leap" replaced "The banners of our beauty'leap":] "Surely it was not like this in the previous version. It struck me then as having magic in the expression, here it sounds commonplace." [On a new stanza, now 3:] "This verse is very good. But alter the 'we'—it makes the thing too personal and boastful. It is the action of the powers of these forces that should be kept in front—and their personality should not be suggested. [Sri Aurobindo altered 'we' to 'they' in line 2.] ['The line "Our tones of fathomless joy instil" was altered to "With tones of fathomless joy we instil":] "If you alter in that way, the whole beauty is gone. When a perfect inspiration comes, to alter it is a crime and usually carries its own punishment. The alteration you propose makes a deep and solemn psychic truth turn at once into an intellectual statement." [On a new closing line:] "The closing line should


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agree more with the mystic suggestiveness of the phrasing of the rest." (22.6.32) 

 

c) [On a third version, with an entirely new opening stanza] "The first verse is very good; but I don't know whether "We venture to reclaim" [line 3] would not sound in many ears too colloquially familiar, as in 'I venture to object'. These locutions are dangerous things—those I mean which are capable of suggesting such familiarity. There are lines in the Victorian poets which have become to the present day mind almost comic from this cause.

 

d) [On the final version:] Stanzas 1 and 3: "Very good"; lines 7,8 and 19-20: "Good". (18.7.32)

 

Isis of the Black Veils

 

a) [On the version originally submitted:]

 

"The idea and vision in it are something greater than anything in the other two poems [Albert Samain's 'Pannyre aux talons d'or" and Flecker''] translation of it] but most of the time you are trying to express your idea and vision rather than expressing them. All the same it is a good poem, and the lines I have marked [1-6, '0-14, 19, 27-28] are very fine, while the rest are skilful enough in a way in expression and rhythm and would be adequate for a smaller purpose."

 

b) [On the version printed here, which embodies some alterations suggested by Sri Aurobindo and others made by myself:

 

"It has become a very fine poem. Your two new lines [17 and 20] are exceedingly good [and 'wearies and wavering falls to rest' is also very fine, are immense improvement upon what you wrote before." (2716.32)

 

Moon-Worship

 

[In reply to the note, "As poets are often mistaken about both


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their defects and their merits, I should like to know from you whether to regard this poem as a finished product or not.":]

 "It seems to me a finished product." (28.6.32)

 

The Kiss of Man (trans.)

 

"I find the original rather silly in the brilliant French way of silliness; but it is well-turned -- also in the well-built French way. Your translation is well alone and 1 find it more poetic than the original, and it has the merit of getting rid of the note of half sentimental half sensual fatuity that was there." (23.7.32)

 

The Stranger (trans.)

 

"The poem of Sully Prudhomme is an exceedingly fine one." 

 

[In answer to my query whether he had sent back my translation without passing at y judgment because I had not followed with absolute faithfulness the turn of expression in the close of the original:]

 

"If I did not make any comment on your translation, it was in the sense that silence is consent or content or satisfaction, if you like. It was a very perfect translation, and the departure from the original towards the close was quite justified; for the sestet was the best part of the poem." (28.7.32)

 

The Slave (trans.)

 

"Heredia's poem is excellent in form, insignificant in substance; the translation is very well done." (31.7.32)


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Conquerors (trans.)

 

[I wrote: "I have translated Heredia's Les Conquerants which, I believe, many Frenchmen regard as the eighth wonder of the world. Will you assign Heredia his right place in the poetic hierarchy? Flecker says of him that he was 'the most perfect poet that ever Uvea—Horace not in it.' "]

 

"I cannot say that I find Heredia's sonnet to be either an eighth wonder or any wonder. Heredia was a careful workman in word and rhythm and from that point of view the sonnet is faultless. If that is all that is needed for perfection, it is perfect. But otherwise, except for the image in the first two lines and the vagour of the fourth, I find it empty. Horace, at least, was seldom that.

 

"The first six lines of your translation do not come to much1 — but the seventh and eighth and the whole sestet are fine. There is much more of the precious, if not of the 'the fabulous metal' in them than in the burnished perfection of the corresponding lines of Heredia." (5.8.32)

 

Ilda (trans.)

 

"The octet is exceedingly good, as harmonious as the original and profounder in its poetry and sense. The next four lines are not successful in rhythm and do not go home.2 The last two lines are good; so if you accept my suggestions it will be a very fine poem." ( 8.8.32)

 

Love's Complaint

 

"It is a very good poem." (28.8.32)

 

1. The present version is touched up in places by Sri Aurobindo.

2. These lines as they stand are win Sri Aurobindo's correction. In my translation there was a misunderstanding of an image in the French.


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All

 

'There is nothing outstanding in the poem, but it is a good poem, harmonious in expression and rhythm and the form is good also." (1.11.32)

 

Intangible

 

"It is very graceful and finished in form." (17.12.32)

 

Toussaint L'Ouverture

 

[I wrote: " You must have read of the heroic fight of Toussaint L'Ouverture and his negrozs against the armies sent by Napoleon to Haiti to reintroduce slavery there. Below is a ballad describing one of its most memorable incidents, with of course, the license of poetic imagination. What would be your criticism of it?" Sri Aurobindo replied:]

 

"I don't know that I can pronounce. I have not much taste for the English ballad form; it is generally either too flat or too loud and artificial and its basic stuff is a strenuous popular obviousness that needs a very rare genius to transform it. As far as I can see, yours is a ballad that is not a ballad and yet does not succeed in being a pure poem because the ballad strain clings to it still. Yet I dare say it may be effective for its purpose." (20.11.1932)

 

Garuda

 

[In reply to the query, "Doe: this apostrophe strike the critical tympanum as somewhat of a 'barbaric yap'?":]

 

"No, it seems to me very good —except that 'Delight' sounds rather abrupt and inconclusive as a line all by itself."

(22.12.32)


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Arabesque

[To the question, "As the title indicates, this poem is designedly recherche, but has it inspiration enough to make it successful? And does the form-symmetry hold the parts together sufficiently?":]

 

"Yes, it is successful enough and has sufficient symmetry."

 

Lalita

 

"It is very good poetry. As a sonnet, the building is very well done." (4.4.1933)

 

Gautama

"It seems to me a good poem." (5.4.33)

 

Vesper tide

 

"It is quite good — throughout." (12.4.33)

 

The Crescent of Beauty

 

"Yes, it is good." (14.4.33)

 

Euthanasia

 

"It is the best blank verse, I think, you have written as yet. There is a consistence in the building and a definite and effective rhythm— necessary characters of which your blank verse was quite blank before." (25.6.33)


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Sakuntala's Farewell

 

"It is very good poetry and there are many fine lines. I don't know about influence — probably several have coalesced together. Perhaps Keats, Yeats, Love and Death and one or two others." (28.6.33)

 

"Each line is a cut gem by itself and there is sufficient variation of movement or at east of rhythmic tone." (8.7.33)

 

"Sero te amavi ..."

 

The lines are very good." 130.6.33)

 

The Aeroplane

 

"It is a good poem — a 'well-built' one also." (12.7.33)

 

Pilgrim of Truth

 

"It is a good poem — the second stanza is very fine and perfect in expression and building. In the first your rather academic 'purpureal' does not please me and comes in like a false note. With a good alteration there the first stanza would be almost as good as the second."1 (31.7.33)

 

Canzonet

 

"It is very good." (3.8.33)

 

 

 

1. Sri Aurobindo accepted the alteration: 'impurpled'.


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Song-sculpture

 

"This too is a very good poem —- there is inspiration and an expression that corresponds to the inspiration." (22.8.33)

 

Pointers

 

"It is a very melodious and delicate lyric — this is a new music for you and very successful." (26.8.33)

 

Quest

 

"It is a very successful lyric." (.0.8.33)

 

A Song of Quiet

 

"This too is very successful." (30.8.33)

 

Her Changing Eyes

 

[In answer to the query, "Is this poem very commonplace, especially with that ending in 'Eternity'?":]

 

"It is rather good, I think.(12.9.33)

 

Truth's Wayfaring

 

"It is good." (3.9.33)

 

Truth-archery

 

[In reply to the question "How does this poem express its Upanishadic idea?":]

 "Very well." (5.9.33)


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Song-change

 

[I asked, "Should this poem be limboed?")

 

"It has its qualities and especially much poetic colour. The substance is a little lost in the colour—at least through a good part of it, gets vague in the wash of the colour wave. I don't think it need be limboed." (8.9.33)

 

Creative Calm

 

"It is a good poem, but gives some impression of having come through with difficulty, not getting altgether the right (inevitable) transcription. There is power in the last stanza." [Lines 10, 11, 12 were marked:] "Very fine and vigorous." (11.9.33)

 

Dilemma

 

"It is good poetry, with one splendid line 'The mute unshadowed spaces of her fund.' " (14.9.33)

 

Earth-heaven

 

"It is very good indeed—perfect in its own manner."

(22.9.33)

 

Transformation

 

"It is a good sonnet and there is certainly both vision and poetry in it." (25.9.33)


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Gift-cycle

 

[In answer to my note, "A song written in the wee sma' hours, between 2 and 3 this morning":]

 

"It is wee and sma' but good " (26.9.33)

 

Askesis

 

"It is a good poem—with some power in it."

[Lines 3, 4, 5 were marked:] ''Very good." (28.9.33)

 

O Voiceful Words

 

"Not so good as a sonnet as some others. It lacks outline which is very necessary in a sonnet — but it has poetic merit." (2.10.33)

 

Initiation

 

"It is an excellent poem from all points of view —the first and third stanzas very good, the second admirable."

(1.12.33)

 

Symbol-mood

 

"It is very good." (3.12.33)

 

Trance-solitude

 

"Yes, it is very good — and the expression quite complete." (9.12.33)


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Yoga

 

"'It is a good poem." (13.12.33)

 

"Santo Riso"

 

"I find it very good. I like your new style very well."

(20.12.33)

 

Night's Core

 

"It is very good. Your poetry has recently taken a great step forward." (4.1.34)

 

Tyaga

 

"It is very good." (9.1.34)

 

Gramarye

 

"It is good." (10.1.34)

 

Dawn

 

"It is very good." (18.1.34)

 

Brahman

 

"It is a very good sonnet." (18.1.34)


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Grandeur

 

"It is a very good sonnet." (19.1 .34)

 

Avatar

 

"It is a very good sonnet." (25.1.34)

 

De Profundis

 

"It is a good sonnet." (29.1.34)

 

To the All-Beautiful

 

"It is very fine." (30.1.34)

 

Appeal

 

[To the question, "Do you like these lines?", Sri Aurobindo replied:]

 

"Yes, they are good." (1.2.14)

 

How?

 

"It is not a failure —it is good, though not quite so good as some others you have recently written." (3.2.34)

 

Chaser Chased

 

"It is good" (4.2.34)


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O Silence Love .

 

"It is very good. The last poems showed a fatigued inspiration, but here there is full recovery, freshness and perfection" (6.2.34)

 

Sun-spell

 

"It is very good." (?.2.34)

 

Wood-glooms

 

"Very good." (15.2.34)

 

Heart-hollow

"It is a very good sonnet. The octet has much atmosphere and strength and colour—and the sestet points the thought very well." (4.3.34)

 

Towards Babylon

 

"It is good." (5.3.34)

 

Invocation

 

[In reply to the question, "Are the style and imagery of this sonnet too hackneyed?":]

 

"I don't think so. It is a good sonnet." (6.3.34)


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Sri Aurobindo's Comments (On a Number of poems not included in Overhead Poetry)

 

"It is good." (71934)

 

Wind-swoon

 

"It is a very good poem." (23.8.34)

 

Fulfilment

 

"It is very good." (24.8.34)

 

Tryst

 

"It is a very fine poem." (25.8 34)

 

Towards Shiva

 

[In answer to the question whether the poem had enough of the quality which would make it worth preserving:] "It is sufficiently fine." (1.9.34)

 

The Finishing Touch

 

"Not negligible — the poem has quality, but is not inevitable in expression." (13.9.1934)

 

Aspiration

 

"I find it very good." (14.9.34)


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Lacrimae Rerum

 

[In answer to the question, "Does this poem reach the perfection it should?":]

 "Yes, quite." (23.9.34)

 

Zenith

 

[In reply to the question, "What sort of poetry do these eight lines make, and is their experiment to combine the effects of blank and rhymed verses successful?":]

 

"It seems to me quite successful and makes very good poetry indeed." (30.9.34)

 

Strange Tunes

 

[Answering the question, "Would you rank this experimental sonnet, trying though in a different way to combine like the other poem the effects of blank verse and rhyme, as one of my very good ones?":]

 

'Yes, I think so." (6.10.34)

 

Birds in the Night

 

"It is a very beautiful little lyric." (7.10.34)

 

Beatitude

 

[Replying to my note, "Just eight lines, wondering whether they have anything to do with Helicon. And is the philosophy of the first stanza too difficult?":]

 

"The philosophy is clear enough. I don't know why you want to bar Helicon to these eight lines—they are very good


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indeed—the first four lines especially, as they put the idea with much originality and power—but the second stanza also reaches a high level." (8. 10.34)

 

Great is Your Beauty, Earth

 

"Very good." (11.10.34)

 

Ineffable

 

"The lines are very good — I ought to say perhaps 'very fine'." (13.10.34)

 

I Love Thee ...

 

"Very fine." (15.10.34)

 

Signa Coeli

 

"It is a very good poem and the last two stanzas are very fine." (17.10.34)

 

Tree of Time

 

[I asked "How do you find these fourteen lines? What sort of blank verse are they? And do they possess characteristics which might allow one to call them a blank verse sonnet?"] "These lines are very good and this time you have got a true movement of blank verse; but I don't think 1 would call it a sonnet. Rhyme structure is essential to a sonnet. But, all the same, the sonnet tendency and the limitation to fourteen lines has given a 'building' to ;he lines which much enhances their value." (23.10.34)


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Incognita

 

"It lacks a little in spontaneity, but is otherwise successful and the building is good and there is a strong harmony in the diction and rhythm."

 

[Later, in reply to the questions, "If it lacks a little in spontaneity, should it not be put aside? Will you kindly say what lines or phrases I ought to modify to bring it up to the right level?" :]

 

"'I can only say that it is very good, but the impression about deficient spontaneity continues. I don't see why it should be put aside. There is much in it that is original and striking and as a whole it is quite effective. I can't say that such and such lines ought to be altered, for all the lines have a poetic quality and there is no defect in them. All poetry is not necessarily spontaneous; and if all poetry that is not spontaneous were to be put aside, the stock of the world's poetic literature would be much reduced; so let the sonnet stand." (25.10.34)

 

Anticipation

 

"This is successful."

 

[When asked whether 'successful' meant a perfect success or not, Sri Aurobindo replied:]

 

"What do you mean by 'a perfect success'? I meant that pitched in a certain key and style it had worked itself out very well in that key and style in a very satisfying way from the point of view of thought, expression and rhythm. From that standpoint it is a perfect success. If you ask whether it is at your highest possible pitch of inspiration, I would say no, but it is nowhere weak or inadequate and it says something poetically well worth saying and says it well. One cannot always be writing at the highest pitch of one's possibility, but that is no reason why work of very good quality in itself should be rejected." (13.11.34)


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Grace

 

"It is very good." (16.3.35)

 

The Real You

 

[To the question, "Is this poem too conversational or has it some saving intensity?", Sri Aurobindo answered:] "It is very good. The intensity is there." (8.4.35)

 

Glamour-tide

 

"Very beautiful." (30.4.35)

 

Time's End

 

"Very fine." (31.5.35)

 

In Horis Aeternum

 

"The lines are very fine." (9.6.35)

 

Whitenesses

 

"It is a very good sonnet." (17.6.35)

 

Day nor Night

 

"It is very fine." (23.6.35)


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Arcane

 

"Very good." (25.6.35)

 

Inward

 

"Very good." (25.6.35)

 

Disloyalty

 

"It is very fine." (26.6.35)

 

Night's day

 

[Question: "Any good? And what plane?":]

 

"Very good. Intuition but a little less intense in detail."

(29.6.35)

 

The Paramour of Soordas

 

"It is very good." (30.6.35)

 

AE

 

(Original form)

 

No transient joy were those song-briefnesses:

 They brought our gloom a simple flowering grace,

But laden with a glow of mysteries

Rooted beyond our fragile nights and days.

 

For out of Spirit's spacious altitude

 The silver rhythms floated unto man—

 Each tiny song a far gigantic mood

Of some Arcturus or Aldebaran.


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(Sri Aurobindo was asked: "What do you think of this? Is the conclusion rather artificial?" He replied:)

 

"It is rather - the rest of the poem is very fine." (21.8.35)

 

Platonic

 

"It is very good—a  harmonous  whole with a perfect evolution of the thought." (30.10.35)

 

Prefigure

 

"As blank verse, it is very good. The vision is not confused—the whole is very clear and well worked out, A fine poem." (2.11.35)

 

Verge

 

"It is fine poetry, but it is less strongly cut in language and rhythm than the previous one. It is more dim in its suggestion, 'shimmery' and 'haze- world' I suppose in form and colour.

 

"The last half is cut into throe 'two lines', they cannot be called couplets, not being rhymed. This is a spacing difficult to carry out without creating some monotony in the total effect. The first half's spacing 3.1.2. is an easier arrangement to execute.

 

"...I suppose on a reading of the whole poem one can without much difficulty realise that the two parts of the poem are correspondents, one of the dawn-depths and the either of the evening-depths.". (4.11.35)


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Beyond...

 

[To the query "Does the language catch the symbolic force of the poetic vision?":]

 

"It does—perfect—with a real splendour of poetic style." (15.11.35)

 

Realisation

 

"Very happy." (23.11.35)

 

Creators

[In answer to the note, "A poem after almost an age of silence. Your impression, please, in (is much critical detail as possible. Is there any back-sliding in quality of inspiration?":]

 

"No. It is a fine poem. I don't see any reason for critical detail." (9.2.36)

 

Invisible

 

"Very beautiful." (13.2.36)

 

Frailty

 

"Very fine." (15.2.36)

 

Elixir Vitae

 

"I think it is successful. Certainly the language and rhythm are—to the full. I don't know whether the symbol you speak of comes out with perfect clearness, but I am inclined to


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think that the suggestion of it is sufficient." (18.2.36)

 

Far and Near

 

"It is very beautiful." (5.5.36)

 

Glimmerings

 

"It is a very good poem—perhaps a little diffuse and wanting in grip, but the thought and expression have a certain beauty in them and the close is very fine." (1936)

 

Beatrice Missions Virgil...

 

"It gives the satisfaction of a certain quiet adequacy."

 

Nirvana

 

"It is very beautiful—quite inspired and perfect." (25.7.36)

 

Paradox

 

"It is fine in expression and movement." (?.8.36)

 

Black Magic

 

The mystic value, however, is more significance... It is not 'too vague things like the Veda." (2.8.36)


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Grace

 

'It is quite good as poetry. But I fear that in matter of fact things are not so comfortably easy as that!" (20.8.36)

 

Francesca of Rimini

 

"The translation is very good—though not Dantesque at all points."

"After reading more at leisure I find it is an admirable translation with no weak line;—it is a success." (25.8.36)

 

O Ganga of the In-world!

 

[In answer to the query, "Does this sonnet deserve a place in my collection?":]

 

"A good poem on the whole, with some fine lines; not absolutely one of your best,:but quite deserving a place." Lines 7-9 were marked: "This is very good." "The last couplet forming the climax Ought to stand out strongly; it becomes inadmissibly weak if you tag it on to what goes before with an 'and'—especially a second 'and', making it a subordinate tail to the rest. On the contrary the other clauses should be subordinate not only in sense but form— the thought of the last couplet leaping out clear and distinct as a culmination." [Lines 11,12,13 as they stand incorporate Sri Aurobindo's alterations.]

 

Plenitude

 

"A very fine sonnet in all respects." (28.8.36)

 

[The next day, to the suggestion that the last five lines of the octet should be altered to:

 

...yet grows thy virgin white

The mystic mother of each passionate tone,


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Save for the mind that will not dare to cast

 All life within thy visionary Vast

Above the narrow blesses earth has known

. Sri Aurobindo replied:]

 

"Man alive! The virgin mother was magnificent, and you kick her out! And the two last lines in their original form were the finest in the poem and you reduce them to something good but not above the ordinary!! Beware of the meddling correcting mind."

 

The Call: Solitude; Renunciation

 

"There is much beauty in the poems, though not everywhere quite a fully self-realised beauty. The lines marked [I: 7,8,9,14,15; II: 1-4 and the last seven] are extremely line." (1936)

 

Belisarius

 

"It is a very fine piece of poetic eloquence—a little strange in the mouth of Belisarius, especially the last line, but I suppose that, poetically, it does not matter. The lines marked [from 'leaving no weight' to 'cry', and from 'the proud' to 'victories'} are especially fine." (27.11.36)

 

Modern Love

 

"It is a very good poem,—worth preserving. It is a sort of satire by apotheosis bringing into contrast the two things that are yet assimilated by what is behind them. Very effective." (1.12.36)


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Wave-Break

 

"It is a little mental as if you were constructing a thought, not seeing things. The lines marked [6,8] have some uplift. The rest has energy of language and strength of thought— but not anything deeper." (4,2.37)

 

Grave of Trance

 

"The poem is otherwise successful, but the 'bright worms of eternity' is, I am afraid, bizarre and creates a sense of overstressed effect with no flash of revealing breath in it to justify it. The macabre can be successful altogether only when it deals with what is terrible and repulsive—but here it is more like a violent conceit—gargoyling what is in itself noble. The rest of the poem is very fine."1 (22.3.1937)

 

Waste

 

"Admirable poetry. An extremely beautiful development of the suggestion going finely beyond it." (25.3.37)

 

Elegiacs

 

[Sri Aurobindo was asked, "Does the basic idea here strike you as stale and the blank verse rather ineffective? What impression does the form-scheme (2,2: 3,3: 4,4) produce? I have a mind to scrap the whole thing.":]

 

'It is not possible always to say something quite new. If one has a subject old or new worth treating and treats it with originality, that is all that is essential. The blank verse is very good, each line sufficiently firm in itself and each verse-clause also. The form-scheme and building of the thought

 

 

1. The last two lines were later changed.


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are all right and come off very well. The one defect is too much sameness or monotone—even though not 'chill' or 'murderous'—of iambic rhythm, especially in the closing eight lines. But the poetic quality is considerable. It certainly should not be scrapped.' (30.3.37)

 

Violet Wisdom

 

"Very fine. I think you have mastered the blank verse movement; the movement here is faultless and very skilful. I mark the outstanding lines [1, 4-6, 7-8, last], but all have their quality." (2.4.37)

 

Laura de Sade

 

"It is a very fine caprice beautifully worked out. The image of the octet and sestet is evidently a conceit but where everything else is so successful this seems to justify itself also." (16.5.37)

 

Giant Wheel

 

"The lines marked [the second stanza] are very fine and more of higher mind than the mental: the rest are fine-though more mental. But the poem finishes very abruptly." (26.5.1937)

 

Bird-Keveries

 

[In answer to the question whether the expression here was more of fancy than true insight:]

 

"It is a very beautiful and delicate fancy in any case. The last stanza is admirable, but there is a subtle imaginative beauty throughout." (31.5.37)


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Mother of New-Birth

 

"It is a very beautiful lyric quite equal to the others. I don't think there is the least sense of splitting—the images flow naturally one after the other." (4.6.37)

 

Magnitudes

 

[In reply to the questions, "On its own plane—that is to say, the mental—what is the degree of success reached by this poem? Are any lines worth marking?":]

 

"The poem is very successful throughout—it expresses with great power and beauty what it wants to say. All the lines are markable." (12.7.37)

 

A Son of God

 

"An admirable poem with a very strong point or double point of significance." (5.8.37)

 

Far Away

 

"It is a fine lyrical poem, expressing with perfection what it had to say—it has the same quality as other lyrics of the kind formerly written by you—an entire precision and ease of language and rhythm, a precision that is intuitive and suggestive." (22.8.37)

 

Heartbreak

 

[Sri Aurobindo did not find it successful. He thought it was very clever but just a conceit ] (9.3.44)


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Between Us Two

 

"Good; some of the lines are very fine, especially the last line and a half of the second stanza and the whole of the last stanza. But can a sea hang? Well, perhaps it can in a faintly Donnish style. And 'sat like a taste' has not much force: I would myself have written 'Sat a heaven-taste'." (14.1.1945)

 

Lammergeyer

 

"O.K. It is all right now." [In the first version Sri Aurobindo did not approve of Our guts alone draw down transcendent things.' A line he appreciated very much is 'Seer-suns beyond the gold of Plato's brain.'] (21.10.1949)


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