Amrita's Correspondence with The Mother

25 July 1932

Mother,

Since Indrakumari and I were responsible for the loss of over one litre of milk, as per your decision to reduce this quantity from those responsible, I did not get milk for breakfast this morning. I somehow managed to have bread with water. But at lunch, when I was denied my share of curds, I thought: “If Mother were to deprive me of one of the food items for each fault of mine . . .” I could not even mentally complete the sentence. I felt my throat choking.

So food has still so much importance for you...

The first impulse in me was to tell You all that I have written above. Then a second impulse came, saying, “Don’t utter a word of this to the Mother. It is quite humiliating!” Later, still a third impulse said, “Put the whole thing in such a way as if you were an outsider and the whole comedy had been enacted by some other people.” I obeyed the first impulse.

You did well.

In the morning, while I was with You, I was able to put a pressure upon myself to keep from Your Presence my struggling part and to put in front of You my normal usual self.

It was quite visible for me that you were very nervous about the suppressed milk.

25 July 1932