Visions, experiences of Gangadhar compiled in a booklet - includes an interview.
VISIONS AND EXPERIENCES
IT is by Grace that I came into contact with the Mother of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in my youth when she visited my village Veerampattinam, four miles off Pondicherry, in 1928. She poured Her looks of Grace into my heart. I was soon attracted to join the Ashram in my twentieth year which fell in 1933. I come from a poor and uneducated family. I had only completed the lower standards of school education. All the sadhana or spiritual discipline that I did and am still doing is wholly centred upon the work which She gave to me. I work in the sanitary service of the Ashram.
By doing the work with sincerity and devotion as the Mother's own work, I began to get experiences. By Her Grace my soul or psychic being opened after five years of Ashram-life. Since then, the psychic has been my guide and I feel always the Mother's Presence in my heart. From time to time various kinds of spiritual experiences have come, one after another. In my 63rd year, I had a flood of spiritual experiences and visions soon after I had sat in meditation in Sri Aurobindo's room on my birthday, along with fellow disciples and devotees whose birthdays coincided with mine. Then in the next year, when I meditated in my own room on my sixty-fourth birthday (24-7-76) at 12 noon, the Grace of our Divine Mother descended and entered into the depth of my mid-forehead. She came in the form of a Luminous Young Child Bala, in the same form as when She had been about seven years old-and opened the "chakra" on the top of the head, the Sahasrara, giving rise to wonderful visions and experiences.
I feel that these are purely a gift of the Grace of our Divine Mother, and not at all due to my merits or qualifications or Sadhana. The experiences have continued and developed since then and especially in my midnight meditation between 2 and 3 am. Soon after the experiences, the Grace comes in the form of Tamil poetry in which they get expressed. Below I am giving in English some recent experiences in the order in which they came.
The Divine Mother lit the Light of a Lamp burning in the middle of my forehead. I t is a Light that extended, with its flaming heat, in all directions.
In the depth of a silence beyond mind and heart, I found the pure flame of Truth blazing in its intensity. As the bud blossoms unfolding its petals all around, so the inner consciousness blossomed and expanded in that profound silence.
In lonely silence again, I realised the Divine Mother, the Consciousness of all consciousnesses, manifesting Herself as a luminous young child-Bala. I became one with Her in consciousness.
My uvula curved upwards' and tasted the oozing Amrita (Nectar) of Grace. The thousand-petalled lotus opened itself. I sensed its subtle 'fragrance full of Grace.
The lid of Brahmarandhra (Aperture of Brahman) opened itself. The last vestige of the ego was dissolved. A flood of Light entered in from above. I became absorbed in Bliss, the most precious gift of the Mother. The infinite pure Consciousness and the Self were realised.
The bond of birth and death has been broken and with that the dualities of pleasure and pain, sorrow and happiness were cancelled. The being has become free by realising the Light of Consciousness which is the source of the Vedas.
Mother Bala gave by Her Grace the Eye of Knowledge to see and realise the Truth. By surrendering to Her Lotus-Feet one can receive the supreme fulfilment of life as Her gift.
After the rending of the lid on the top of the head, and being surrounded by Light, I quickly rushed through wide spaces of heavens. Heavens within heavens were entered. The consciousness moved both upwards and inwards. It crossed six overhead planes which had been screening the Truth. Then I entered into the experience of the Void, the Sunya of Nothingness. But this was not the end. I felt I was near the Vast Realm of Light which is the Home of Mother Bala who has manifested to me in Her splendour of Light. The ascending path to the Home of Grace and Peace was seen. The Golden Door opened. I trod the interior path to the Heaven of Mother Bala and quickly entered into the vast Realm of Truth-Knowledge. I saw Mother Bala seated in Her Form of dynamic and vibrating golden Light in Her own supreme and universal Heaven of Light. I had wonderful visions of Truth; and Bliss coursed through and overflowed my whole being.
Cascades of intensities of the pure golden Light spread in all directions, and all the spaces were flooded with the golden Light. The Light within the inner Light was realised and I became one with the consciousness of Light and partook of the Amrita of Bliss.
I entered into the vast Golden Truth-world and realised its vast Golden Light of Truth-knowledge. There was an enjoyment of the dynamic play of the Lord, His play of the beginningless and endless Bliss. I realised the supreme Lord with His Shakti Uma as the Two-in-One in the vast Golden Realm of Truth, which even the great gods fail to see. I realised Him as the Lord of my soul and self, present everywhere and bestowing His Grace on the devoted faithful in the depth of their hearts.
I saw the supreme Lord, realised union with Him, and became verily Himself. The birth, maintenance and destruction of the universe taking place in the Heart of the supreme Lord was seen. My being got fused and absorbed in the eternal Ananda which is beginning less and endless, and verily became that.
There, all the crores of heavens and worlds and the physical cosmic bodies, namely, the sun, planets, earth, moon and stars, were seen whirling like atoms. I saw them with the eye of Grace.
I realised the vast and supreme golden Light of Grace in its own Home of Truth which is without beginning and end. I became the pure Consciousness of the dynamic golden Light of Truth. The source of the secret Truth of the Vedas was found, and that without one's learning to know of it. I realised the supreme Light (shuddha param Jyoti) spreading, from far beyond above, in all directions.
In the supreme and pure infinity of existence which is without day and night the unity of the all-containing supreme Existence (eka poorana) was realised. It was realised also as the one infinite and eternal Bliss of the supreme Consciousness.
The world of play of Truth-knowledge is found in the depth of silence. The whole universal movement is the play of the Lord of the Truth-world, the play of Knowledge-Will, the play of the beginningless and endless Ananda. The earthly life shall get changed into a play of Bliss when one annihilates the ego and realises the supreme Lord who has extended Himself as the universe.
The Golden Sun of Truth-knowledge rose up in that supreme world of Peace and Silence, and in the midst of the vibrating ocean of Ananda, spreading the flood of golden Light everywhere and illuminating, sustaining and nourishing the earthly world of ours. With the rising of the Sun of Truth-knowledge, the darkness disappeared everywhere and the Golden Light pervaded the whole universe and the earth too became golden.
The pure Golden Light descended from the vast Heaven of Truth-knowledge like the raining of waters. The earth, being flooded with the descending golden Truth-Light of Grace, changed into a golden earth, shining in its golden luminosity. A golden world is seen born, and men too become golden in the mental, vital and physical levels of existence. With the descending force of the golden Light of Truth on the earth, a new era has begun and the earth has woken up with a new consciousness which is seen vibrating with a new awakening of life at all levels of human existence. The human race is awakening everywhere with a new life.
Carried by the force of the flood of the descending golden Light, I came down to the earthly consciousness when I entered into my body through the Brahmarandhra.
I hear the Omkara-nada vibrating in me and, along with it, the Golden Truth-Light infiltrates into my adhara. The heart is filled with the consciousness of Grace which is indeed the Golden Light of Grace. The ego has been completely effaced. The golden Light of Truth also descended into me, into my mind, life and body and made them golden. The golden Light entered into all the cells of the body, into the bones, muscles, tissues, brain and nerves, blood and its cells, skin and even the hairs, from the root to the end, and made them appear golden with a tinge of red. The whole body appeared a beautiful golden red body.
I saw even the Sun of golden red Light rising up over the earthly sky, spreading its golden red Light of Truth into the whole material earth. The golden red Light of Truth is verily the concrete physical form of the highest supreme consciousness. The descending Golden Light becomes the golden red Light when reaching into matter and the material world and the material body.
The phenomenal universe which is derived and born from the supreme eternal Truth of Bliss, Light and Peace moves to reach and become the Truth of Bliss, Light and Peace again, by enjoying the endless Bliss.
Man shall realise the eternal Truth and become That and he shall live the immortal life here on the earth by attaining a deathless body.
The Golden Light of Truth is awaiting above the head to descend and enter in man through the opening of the Sahasrara when one, being awakened to the psychic being, remains in undisturbed silence and peace. The Golden Light is seen to rush into the whole adhara and into the body and shall transform man.
Source: Mother India, March 1977, Page 176
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