On The Mother

CHAPTER 60

Grace Abiding

I

1973 - And the Mother's New Year message:

When you are conscious of the whole world at the same time, then you can become conscious of the Divine.¹

And her New Year prayer for the students:

Let our effort of every day and all time be to know You better and to serve You better.²

These linked up with her message for the previous Darshan on 24 November 1972:

Beyond all preferences and limitations, there is a ground of mutual understanding where all can meet and find their harmony: it is the aspiration for a divine consciousness.³

The Mother had also said on 31 December 1972:

There is only one solution for falsehood: it is to cure in ourselves all that contradicts in our consciousness the presence of the Divine.⁴

To see others as others see us: not, like the spider in its web, to attract everything towards oneself, but to accomplish equality of attention and understanding through the eradication of one's egoistic personality, to cleanse oneself of all the smuts and rusts of one's consciousness, to exorcise falsehood away, to transcend the dualities, to break out of the prison-house of separativity, to grow conscious of the divine omnipresence! The world is indeed charged with the glory of God: the Lord fathers forth the variegated richness of the phenomenal world; but the Divine is nevertheless the ground of harmony, of unity, of Ananda. The transcendence of preferences and limitations could lead to cosmic consciousness; and such cosmic consciousness could ripen into the divine consciousness. To put it in another way, increasing self-awareness and progressive world-awareness invade and possess each other, and find their meaning and fulfilment in the Divine.

Another year that was almost an overflow of the fourth leap-year anniversary of the Supramental Manifestation was also to witness the continuation of the centenary celebrations. This New Year, 1973, was greeted with meditation and music as usual, and there was the New Year message to ponder in order to allow its meaning to sink into one's soul. The Mother's light, as always, was steady in her room on the second

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floor. And devotees were sitting around Sri Aurobindo's Samadhi under the Service Tree in the Ashram courtyard. A rich peace radiated and filled the atmosphere.

During the Sri Aurobindo birth centenary year, the Mother had given herself fully - for the calls upon her time and energy and Grace had been more numerous than ever before. For the concourse of visitors to the Ashram and Auroville just being there was an experience without a precedent, and on 15 August 1972 - the day of destiny - especially, with its divers functions including the Mother's Terrace Darshan, the many thousands who had gathered felt inexpressibly wafted to the heights of aspiration and hope incommensurable. On 2 January 1972, the Mother had said in a centenary message that the future was for those who had the soul of a hero; and on 12 August, in a message to the New Age Association, she had amplified this message by explaining that a hero feared nothing, complained of nothing, and never gave way.⁵ This was her exhortation to the sadhaks, to the hero-warriors at the Centre of Education, and to her disciples everywhere. And she was herself the example of what she lauded in her messages, for she certainly didn't spare herself - she feared nothing, complained of nothing, and wouldn't hold back from any exertion or adventure demanded of her.

And yet - as was perhaps inevitable - there was a set-back in her physical condition after August 1972. There were periods of acute suffering, but invariably she rallied on the strength of the true or divine Consciousness, and she continued to brave the self-accepted tasks in her Battle of Transformation with "As Thou wiliest, as Thou wiliest!" as her sole weapon. It was her experience that she recorded in her birthday message on 21 February 1973:

The more we advance on the way, the more the need of the Divine Presence becomes imperative and indispensable.⁶

Writing on 23 January, M.P. Pandit had referred to what a couple of friends, just arrived from the United States, told him about the Mother. They had seen her the previous week, and one said: "Mother is much better in health than two years ago. She is younger, brighter and stronger." The other said, "This time I knew what a beautiful smile is.... Her blue captivating eyes are as bright as the sun: her rosy complexion has acquired a fresh tone. Her grip is as strong as twenty years ago."⁷

II

In the conversation with a disciple on 7 February, the Mother referred to her message of 31 December 1972 and said that all that veiled and deformed and prevented the manifestation of the Divine in us was the

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Falsehood. It is, one may say, the principle and power of dilution, distortion and defiance of the Truth. The whole day long, even while seeing people, she had been keeping the consciousness unclouded by any vestige of falsehood whatsoever; that - the pure adhesion to Truth, the uncompromising expulsion of falsehood - was "the thing worth living for".

Meeting the Mother on 10 March, the disciple asked her about the new (superman) Consciousness. Whenever he tried to come in contact with it he had the feeling of "a luminous vastness". Was it enough to let oneself be filled with That? The Mother answered:

I think, that it is the only thing. I am repeating always: "What Thou willest, what Thou wiliest, what Thou wiliest... let it be what Thou wiliest, may I do what Thou wiliest, may I be conscious of what Thou willest."

And also: "Without Thee it is death; with Thee it is life." By "death" I do not mean physical death - it may be so; it may be that now if I lost the contact, that would be the end, but it is impossible! I have the feeling... that I am That - with all the obstructions that the present consciousness may still have....

All the while (it is amusing), all the while I have the feeling that I am a little baby who nestles - nestles within... (what to call it?) a Divine Consciousness... all-embracing.⁸

If she saw somebody, whoever he might be, her instinctive action was to offer that person to the Light. But for herself, all the time she was one with the true Consciousness.

Outwardly, the routine of the Mother's life seemed only slightly changed, though from 1st February she was generally indrawn. On 21 February, her 95th birthday, she consented to give Darshan in the evening, and a few thousands received her blessings. She had not stopped seeing people, and she heard the departmental heads and issued instructions where necessary. She had her conversation with Satprem on 10 March, and on 28 March she gave a hand-written answer to the New Age Association that was to be held on 22 April:

Freedom is far from meaning disorder and confusion.

It is the inner liberty that one must have, and if you have it nobody can take it away from you.⁹

III

"Probably at the end of March," writes Nirodbaran, "the Mother fell ill and all our meetings stopped. When she had recovered, some interviews were gradually resumed."¹⁰ Dyuman, who used to serve her meals, and Nolini, Madhav Pandit, Counouma, Madanlal Himatsingka, Navajata,

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Shyam Sunder, Udar, went up to the Mother, not for long discussions but "just come and go". B.D. Jatti was allowed to go up to her in the second week of April and receive her blessings. On 13 April, she autographed her signature for the Tamil edition of Sri Aurobindo Karmadhara and gave her blessings through the paper to the people of Tamil Nadu. Although her activities were greatly curtailed, the Mother gave Terrace Darshan on the evening of 24 April. Her message for the occasion was:

Beyond man's consciousness

Beyond speech

O Thou, Supreme Consciousness

Unique Reality

Divine Truth¹¹

The thousands who had gathered in devotion and heightened expectancy below in the streets felt a great elation and feeling of fulfilment when the Mother appeared before them and, clinging to the railing, cast upon them in a slow-swinging semicircle her immortal look of understanding and love:

Our prostrate soil bore the awakening ray....

Then the divine afflatus, spent, withdrew, ...¹²

For almost a month after the Darshan, this restricted routine of seeing probably not more than a dozen people every day continued. Then, on 20 May, at about 9.30 at night, she had a complete 'breakdown'. Only her personal attendants - Pranab, Champaklal, Kumud, Vasudha - were with her, or visited her from time to time. Her son, Andre, arrived from Paris, and saw her now and then. Dr. Sanyal of the Ashram and Dr. Bisht of JIPMER examined the Mother. She was given about 20 to 25 ounces of food everyday, as recommended by Dr. Sanyal, and the food consisted of "a little vegetable soup, milk with some protein compound, paste made of almonds, mushrooms, artichokes... and some fruit juice at the end".¹³ As she generally lay on the bed with closed eyes as if in a trance, it was with some difficulty that she could be made to take the required nourishment. There was little change in her condition during the next few months. "I am a little baby who nestles - nestles within... a Divine Consciousness... all-embracing." That was still true, never more true!

IV

For almost six months, the Mother's outer or physical condition remained unchanged. Discussing the situation in a private letter to S.N. Jauhar, Dyuman wrote in July 1973:

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Doctors would say and do say: - Age does its work. She is running ninety-six.

But equally true and more than true: - She is fully conscious. She is absolutely absorbed in her deep concentration for her work. She is not on the surface. Sri Aurobindo is needed to understand and to tell us what she is doing and where is she. This yoga is altogether new, ways and means are new, the object is new. So we have no guidance from any of the old writings except from Savitri:

"She only can save herself and save the world."

The entire outside work is going on as usual. One moves on in his or her best light....

What will be our life only the Divine Grace knows. Faith and Courage keep up the whole life.

Physically she is O.K., Dr. Sanyal and Dr. Bisht say. So we have nothing to worry nor think anything....

And on 13 August, at the Sri Aurobindo Society Annual Conference in the Ashram auditorium (Theatre), Nirodbaran said in the course of his speech:

They say now that the Mother is in a continuous trance, but in that trance she is ever awake. She knows everything that is going on in the whole world. If I am right in my speculation or conviction she seems to be in a state which has been named in our Shastra Sushupti or even Turiya, I am not quite sure which. This inwardness is a condition, as Sri Aurobindo said, "a state of massed consciousness and omnipotent intelligence". Somebody attending on the Mother asked her, "Mother, why do you always keep your eyes closed?" She replied, "Because I can see everything with my eyes closed."¹⁴

V

The Ashramites and Aurovilians, the large number of visitors and the delegates to the Annual Conference of the Sri Aurobindo Society, were all looking forward to the Terrace Darshan of 15 August. But it was not certain that the Mother would be able to come out. To the relief of everybody, the Mother consented to give Darshan as usual, and people exchanged looks of infinite joy. The morning collective meditation around the Samadhi and the pilgrimage to Sri Aurobindo's Room conditioned the mind to a mood of heightened receptivity and prepared the soul for the Grace of the Darshan. After lunch - and even before - people started taking vantage positions on the pavements and, presently - as the hours passed - on the streets, the windows and terraces commanding a view of the Terrace where the Mother was to appear in the evening. Many

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had their cameras and binoculars, and some had their baggage with them. There was a cripple in a wheel chair; there were also the old and the infirm. As the seconds sped on, the sun was on the decline, and at 6 there was a sharp shower as if to cool the atmosphere. But nobody shifted his position, and the shower too came to an end. People watched and waited, and some few marvelled at the mystery of the ineffable Divine enacting a recognisable redeemer-role.

When she appeared at last above the human sea, she was like the brief nectarean dawn. Although she had needed help to come, she now held on to the railing and walked slowly, surveying with her arching magnificent glance the surging mass of humanity below. Like a bubble on the brim of a cup, a faint smile lingered on her face, and the stilled human sea of forms and faces received that downpour of Grace. "With the appearance of the Mother," a member of the vast congregation later recalled, "there came an inscrutable peace, and all seemed to be gripped by an unknown power. There reigned an absolute silence. The silence was so intense that one could never imagine 8000 people were packed together on the road." And he added:

How momentous was that instant when we stood before the blazing gaze of the Mother's eyes! One look and we felt twice blessed. That timeless instant can never be forgotten. Many felt it was on them in particular that the gracious look was cast.¹⁵

After the Darshan, and in the course of the next few days, most of the visitors went back, and the Ashram returned to its normal functioning. The Mother too retreated to her "trance of waiting", and day followed day, and week followed week, and there was hardly any perceptible change in the tenor of her outer life.

VI

Then, by the beginning of November, the Mother unaccountably developed a kind of disturbing hiccup, but it was soon brought under control. The hiccup, however, came back on 10 November after the Mother had taken her notional lunch, and persisted till the evening. The doctor, examining her, found her blood pressure low and her heart weak. She could take but very little food during the next three days, and lying on the bed in the same position, she now developed bed-sores on her back, hips and some other parts of her body. On the 13th night, on her request, Pranab and Champaklal lifted her from the bed and held her above the bed for a while. This was repeated from time to time almost the whole night, for it seemed to give some temporary relief or even comfort to the Mother.

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On the 14th she seemed to be better, and wanted to walk, but she was not equal to the task. The effort had only made her over-exert and exhaust herself. She became restless and uneasy, and she felt put out because, in spite of her requests, her beloved children and loyal attendants would not risk lifting her from the bed or helping her to walk. And it was only with a sedative that she could be made to rest and get a few hours' sleep.

On the 15th and 16th she was less restless, and rather more amenable to the ministrations of her servitors. On the 17th morning all seemed well, but after her lunch, she seemed to be restless again during the whole of the afternoon. At about five, Kumud gave fruit-juice to the Mother, and Champaklal who was by her side took her hand and, examining her life-line, exclaimed: "Oh! There is a very short life-line. But she has lived much more than that." Champaklal remembered Sri Aurobindo's long life-line, but he lived to be only seventy-eight.¹⁶

At 6.30, she wanted to be lifted up from her bed, and Champaklal and Pranab held her up for a few seconds, and then lowered her on the bed. Kumud relieved them, and on the Mother's request, lifted her from (he bed. After Andre came, they heard a strange sound coming from the Mother's throat and saw other signs of acute discomfort. In consultation with Champaklal, they sent for Dr. Sanyal and Pranab, and Dyuman came too. It was a little past seven. The Mother's pulse was clearly failing, and although Dr. Sanyal gave an external heart massage, it had no effect. Finally, at 7.25 p.m., he sadly announced that the Mother had left her body.¹⁷

Pranab, Champaklal, Dyuman, Andre, Kumud, Dr. Sanyal held a quick consultation, and as the Mother had once directed that, should it ever appear that she had left her body, it should be undisturbed for a while, the body was left as it was till about eleven. Then it was cleaned with eau de Cologne, and was clothed in a spotless new dress. Nolini Kanta Gupta was informed, and when he joined them, the arrangements were finalised. Nirod and Bula too had come up and the Mother's body was gently carried and brought down at 2 a.m. on 18 November, and laid in state on a couch in the Meditation Hall. The body was draped in a gold-laced silk-shawl, and she lay bathed in immutable peace ensuring an eternity of existence. Pranab sent word to "the photographers... the trustees [and] all those who were very close to Her". The Mother lay peacefully on the couch, her head raised a little, eyes closed, and her hands held together. After 4.15, when the main gates of the Ashram were thrown open, there was a general stream of Ashramites, devotees and local admirers - her children one and all - who silently walked past her body paying their homage to her living Presence.

A brief official announcement was sent to the Press and the Radio:

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The Mother left Her Body on 17.11.73 at 7.25 p.m. The immediate cause of Her passing away was heart failure. The Body is kept in state for the last Darshan of the disciples, devotees and the general public. It will remain in state as long as it is possible to keep it. Her message is well known in Her living utterance: "A New Humanity shall arise." Let Her will be done.¹⁸

VII

The news of the Mother's passing, when it was broadcast over the Radio and later headlined in the newspapers, cast a gloom over the country and touched to the quick millions of hearts all the world over. The Lt. Governor of Pondicherry, Cheddi Lal, was among those who paid their homage, and he observed: "Though she has left us physically, her spirit will continue to inspire all humanity to cherish the high ideals of Sri Aurobindo." The President, V.V. Giri, sent this condolence message: "Her dynamic role as a spiritual leader and the spirit behind the Sri Aurobindo Ashram shall ever live as a standing testimony and symbol of her life and work." The Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, declared in the course of her condolence message:

The Mother was a dynamic, radiant personality with tremendous force of character and extraordinary spiritual attainments. Yet she never lost her sound practical wisdom which concerned itself with the running of the Ashram, the welfare of society, the founding and development of Auroville and any scheme which would promote the ideals expressed by Sri Aurobindo.

She was young in spirit, modern in mind, but most expressive was her abiding faith in the spiritual greatness of India and the role which India could play in giving new light to mankind.

The Governor of Orissa, B.D. Jatti, said that the Mother's passing was "a great loss to the spiritual world". The Law Minister of Bangladesh, Manoranjan Dhar, described the Mother as an "ever-shining embodiment of our traditional ideal of divine motherhood".

The messages of condolence and reverent appreciation poured in from all quarters, and this was - at the least - a clear indication of the large space she had filled in awakening the higher global consciousness.

VIII

Ever since the news came on the air on the 18th morning, the Mother's disciples, devotees and admirers made a precipitate dash to Pondicherry, taking the first available plane, train, bus, taxi or car, to be able to have

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a last darshan of the Mother as she lay in state in the Meditation Hall. As they filed past her body in an apparently unending stream, they felt the living Presence of the Mother charged with an aura of limitless love and protective grace. The sharp sense of personal bereavement became muted because it was shared by tens of thousands - if not millions - and it was exceeded by the realisation that the divine consciousness that the Mother had embodied was permanently settled in the Ashram atmosphere. It was indeed impossible to imagine an Ashram without the Mother. The Mother was the Ashram, and she was there still!

For a period of almost twelve years, from her lone room on the second floor of the Meditation House on the north-east corner of the Ashram main building, the Mother had guided, advised, organised, administered the far-flung community of sadhaks, children, devotees, admirers, and she had ordained with her invisible sovereign powers the divine order to be. Her helping hand and her word of cheer and her smile of Grace had been the means of rescue and redemption to tens of thousands of souls wrecked on the disturbed sea of our life without faith, or lost in our urban deserts deprived of the waters of love. Numberless were the wielders of power and authority or the bearers of Atlantean burdens of responsibility who had sought and obtained the Grace of her protection. But the obscure and the unlettered, the unassuming and the unassertive, the unambitious and the unresourceful were equally the recipients of the Mother's care and consideration, and of her unfailing beneficent Grace.

During those hours and days of gloom when faith wrangled with doubt in many human hearts, people naturally enough looked up to Nolini - senior sadhak and Secretary of the Ashram - for a word of explanation, encouragement and fraternal love. In a simple and heartfelt prayer, Nolini Kanta Gupta, senior trustee of the Ashram, spoke at once for himself and for many of the Mother's children feeling terribly orphaned at the time:

Sweet Mother,

Your physical body belonged to the old creation because you wanted to be one with your children. You wanted this body to uphold the New Body you were building upon it, and it gave you the service you asked of it. You will come with your New Body.

Your children's, the world's call and aspiration, love and consecration are laid at your feet in gratitude.

How was it that, after all, the New Body - the golden supramental body - didn't arise out of the old body as the result of the prolonged sadhana of transformation? Nolini answered this unformulated question thus:

The Mother's body belonged to the old creation. It was meant to be the pedestal of the New Body. It served its purpose well. The New Body will come.

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This a test, how far we are faithful to Her, true to Her Consciousness.

The revival of the body would have meant revival of the old troubles in the body. The body troubles were eliminated so far as could be done while in the body - farther was not possible. For a new mutation, a new procedure was needed. "Death" was the first stage in that process.

On 24 March 1972, the Mother had spoken of her new body, probably a first supramental formation, in the subtle physical - a body sexless, youthful, white, slim, pretty and harmonious - which she had seen clearly that morning. The new body was there, - but how was her old body going to be united with the new body? Where was the link? What was the principle and process of fusion and transfiguration? As yet - she did not know. On 17 November, she left her old body to remain in the subtle physical, close to the Ashram and the earth atmosphere still.

The doctors examined the body twice on the 18th and were satisfied with its condition. On the 19th morning, however, they decided that it would not be advisable to keep the body exposed beyond the morning of the 20th. Immediately preparations for the interment commenced. Even at the time Sri Aurobindo's Samadhi was prepared in December 1950, the Mother had directed that there should be two chambers, one below the other; and on the evening of 9th December, Sri Aurobindo's body was placed in the lower of the two chambers, and the whole Samadhi sealed up. It was the Mother's intention from the beginning that whenever she might leave her body, it should be placed in the upper chamber of the Samadhi under the Service Tree. Accordingly, the Samadhi was opened up on the 19th November, and the vacant upper chamber was got ready. Also, a rosewood casket was prepared, with the Mother's symbol in gold on the lid, and the inside was lined with a pure silver sheet with a covering of felt and then white silk satin.

IX

From the early hours of the morning of the 20th, the courtyard of the Ashram gradually filled, and by seven there were perhaps a few thousand in silent meditation and chastened expectancy. At 8 a.m., the Mother's body was placed in the rosewood casket, and the lid was closed and hermetically sealed. The casket was then carried by eight sadhaks, and preceding and following it were those who had long been closest to the Mother in daily service or executive responsibility. At 8.20, a moment of time abstracted from Time's unending flow, the precious casket was slowly lowered by ropes into the Samadhi-chamber. Nolini and Andre scattered a few rose petals over the casket, and the chamber was then covered by four concrete slabs. Ten minutes of meditation in the rich immaculate silence led up to the finale, which was like a hymn wholly and sublimely

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tuned to the occasion. Wreaths and bouquets of flowers were then laid on the Samadhi by representatives of the Government of Pondicherry the French Consul, and others. The sadhaks, devotees and visitors who had come from near and far paid their respects too in an orderly manner.

Then - or thereafter - how were her children to remember their Mother, or recapitulate the epic history of her life or the marvels of her ministry and divine manifestation? She had come to India, almost sixty years earlier, in search of her soul's "Krishna", and found him in Sri Aurobindo on 29 March 1914. She was French by birth and early education, but an Indian by choice and predilection. When she joined Sri Aurobindo in 1920 there were only a handful of followers, and when she left her body, there were 1800. It was after her 90th birthday that she founded the international City of Dawn - Auroville - on 28 February 1968, and invited mankind to take a bold leap into the Next Future of the Life Divine. But whether in the Ashram, the Centre of Education, or in Auroville, the Mother's far aims had a centrality which on one occasion she had stated in these gem-like words:

Life has a purpose.

This purpose is to find and to serve the Divine.

The Divine is not far. He is in ourselves, deep inside and above the feelings and the thoughts. With the Divine is peace and certitude and even the solution of all difficulties.

Hand over your problems to the Divine and He will pull you out of all difficulties.¹⁹

She had spent her whole life spread over ninety-five years visibly exemplifying these golden words, revealing in her speech of massed illumination and in her tens of thousands of still gratefully remembered acts the infinite comprehension and limitless compassion of the Divine, manifesting in every circumstance of her life the purity and power of the Mother Divine, essaying with sleepless vigilance her glorious ministry of Love, and always and with inexhaustible patience coaxing her errant children to rise to her own level of puissance and perfection. The Mother was a Person, a Power, a Presence, an Experience. That Power of Consciousness - that incarnate Love - that Grace Abiding - which her children called the Mother seemingly withdrew from her consecrated body on 17 November 1973, but only to manifest itself the more widely, the more fully, the more infallibly, not only in the Ashram, but generally in the earth atmosphere as well:

The prophet moment covered limitless Space

And cast into the heart of hurrying Time

A diamond light of the Eternal's peace,

A crimson seed of God's felicity; ...

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But where the silence of the gods had passed,

A greater harmony from the stillness born

Surprised with joy and sweetness yearning hearts,

An ecstasy and a laughter and a cry.

A power leaned down, a happiness found its home.

Over wide earth brooded the infinite bliss.²⁰

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