Talks by Nirodbaran

29 October 1969

We part, O friend, but meet again we must."[This was the quotation written on the blackboard.] Well, friends, we meet here, or there, or elsewhere. It is said that true friendship leads you to the Divine - that is the purpose of friendship, so also the purpose of love.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that you liked last session's talk very much. Since it has pleased you, perhaps I may continue in the same manner. It confirms the truth that you are very curious to know how the great of soul live; what the manner of their life is, etc. This is the very question that Arjuna asked Sri Krishna: "What is the language of one whose understanding is poised? How does he speak? How does he sit? How does he walk?" So these are simple questions that we common people are curious to know about the great of soul so that we

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may draw some benefit or advantage. That is the very question I asked Sri Aurobindo in my correspondence, some of you may remember, when I learned that there were quite a number of people living in the Brahmic consciousness. So I wrote as follows:²⁹⁴

[Nirod-da:] Could you whisper to me the names of those lucky fellows who are those "half a dozen people" so that I may have a practical knowledge of what the blessed thing - the Brahman consciousness — is like ?

[Sri Aurobindo:] NO, SIR. How can you have a practical knowledge of it by knowing who has it ? You might just as well expect to have a practical knowledge of high mathematics by knowing that Einstein is a great mathematician. Queer ideas you have!

(Laughter) Well, I'd put my question somewhat badly, without thinking much. As a matter of fact, I meant the same thing that Arjuna meant, but my consciousness and Arjuna's consciousness are widely different, and I had not had much time to think about it beforehand; so I put the question in a rather odd manner and got a good slap in reply!

However, many people have also asked me the same thing, to tell them something about Sri Aurobindo's outer life. How does He eat? How does He talk? Does He sleep? Does He sit in meditation? When He is in meditation, does He close His eyes ? Does He levitate ? (Laughter) All these people were very curious to know all this, just as you are now. So, once or twice, we asked the Mother what to do when these people are asking us to write something about these facts of the outer life of Sri Aurobindo. Mother didn't encourage, She threw cold water over it by saying, "No, no." We asked, "Why, Mother?" She said, "Then they will be satisfied with the outer appearance, and will forget the inner Divinity. Better not." I couldn't tell Her at that time, but I am telling Her now that the answer that I would give would assure Mother that even the appearances, in Sri Aurobindo's case, would be of a sublime order. That you'll see. I have given you some glimpses already.

294 Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo (1955), II: 993.

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I started this flashback in an orderly manner but, as I said the other day, a sweet disorder intervened, and I began to go forward and backward like a shuttle. That is sometimes very interesting, but at other times it brings in confusion. So I thought, let me try again today. I am not a man of science, I am a man of art - sometimes my imagination flies before my reason, and I am confused. So I have tried again to come to the original point. We can divide this period of Sri Aurobindo's life into two parts. A general title to the story is "The Lord, Involved in an Accident," which I have divided into two parts:

1)The Leg in the Cage; and 2) Out of the Cage.

It sounds a little blasphemous to talk of the Lords leg in the cage! Perhaps some of you will be offended! But it is the Lord who has initiated me into these liberties and licenses, and I have too much initiative to forget it. However, if you prefer, we can divide our narrative into two distinct parts as follows: 1) When Sri Aurobindo was lying in bed in a sort of 'static mobility' (confined to the bed), and

2)I can call the other part 'dynamic mobility'.

Then I spoke about His breakfast, for which He was made to sit up, naturally with a backrest. I don't know how far He felt comfortable. Mother served Him from a small plate: some bananas, some bread and butter. One day, all of a sudden, perhaps because She was in a humorous mood or because She took pity on me, Mother asked: "Do you like bananas?" That is one thing I don't like very much. So I promptly said, "Mother, I don't dislike them!" [Laughter) Sri Aurobindo smiled: He appreciated the remark; Mother also smiled, but did not offer me bananas. (Laughter) So that was the first joke I dared to cut with Mother, and perhaps the last.

There was very little medical assistance that was needed, but once, at midnight, Dr. Manilal had to be called because Sri Aurobindo was complaining of a growing pain and He couldn't sleep. So Manilal arrived and saw that it was some sort of adjustment that was needed in the position of the leg. If the leg remains in one position for a long time, and particularly when the knee has been affected, with the bones fractured, one has to be very careful not to move it. Moreover,

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the doctors had given strict instructions and the leg was completely immobilised between two sandbags. So, after the adjustment, there was a sigh of relief from all of us. And Sri Aurobindo also felt comfortable and pleased.

Then I told you how He used to drink tea in a feeding cup. It shocked me to see Sri Aurobindo, the Rasik of all rasiks, the Rasa of all rasas, drinking such a delicious beverage in the way a patient drinks medicine. Perhaps Nripendra²⁹⁵ would have liked it very much!

Dr. Manilal, who had taken charge of the Divine Patient, had the great good fortune of touching the Divine Body, of nursing it and tending it. One day, he said, "We must give the Lord a bath." But since a bath was impossible, we decided to give Him a sponging. Then he told Sri Aurobindo, "Sir, we propose to give you a sponge bath." He neither said yes' nor no'. Then Manilal told Mother, I suppose, for one couldn't do anything without asking Her approval. Mother supplied sponges, a big cake of Paris soap, fine face powder and Eau de Cologne. Dr. Manilal was in charge of sponging, and our old friend Purani was in charge of keeping everything ready. A carpet was spread on the floor and two big white basins were used, one for hot water and another for cold water. I was in between Manilal and Purani, a go-between, as it were, and was passing the sponges and face towels to Manilal. The bed was as it is now, and we were standing at its head. So soap was applied, first of all, on Sri Aurobindo's back. The sponge came back to Purani, he cleaned it and put it in clean water. Then, when the water became dirty, it was thrown away. Then the chest was done. So it went on in this way, applying soap, cleaning it with sponge and wiping it with a dry, clean, white French towel. Then His face -Sri Aurobindo closed His eyes - and when the face was clean, His beard was cleaned. After that, Eau de Cologne was rubbed on His body, then a liberal dose of talcum powder was applied on the front and the back - on the back, particularly, it was necessary, because, you know, when a patient of that age is confined to bed for a long time, the skin breaks - we call it bedsore. And we hadn't thought of it in the

295 The Ashram doctor then for many years.

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very beginning; it happened later and caused us much anxiety.

So after a lot of powder was rubbed on Him, He used to lie down. After that, He used to have a cup of tea. One day, it so happened that all of us were present there because all were needed for something or other; when the whole sponge bath process was over, Dr. Becharlal, with his emotional attitude, went and stood there, looking at Sri Aurobindo besmeared with the 'ashes' of the powder. He called all of us, "Come, come, look at the Lord, how beautiful He looks. Doesn't He look like Shiva with all these 'ashes' besmearing the body?" He started weeping and we drove him away from there. Poor fellow, he couldn't keep his tears back. So that is the story of the sponging. One more thing: I don't know why or how, but till a very late stage, we didn't think of His hair. The hair was loose and He was lying in bed. Nobody thought of doing anything about it, we forgot completely. We sponged His body, we sponged His face, but did nothing to His hair; perhaps we thought it was a woman's job, and we had no right, no cleverness, no skills there; and nobody even thought of asking the Mother. Somehow, we neglected it or forgot it completely. That story will come up again later.

Now I'll go into the medical field. The next problem was that of what you call evacuation: movement of the bowels. Dr. Manilal was naturally concerned about it. Because of Sri Aurobindo's static position in the bed, His bowels started a non-cooperation movement -they would not move. Then Dr. Manilal said, "Sir, Your bowels are not moving, we have to do something about it." He proposed all sorts of medical remedies, but Sri Aurobindo said, "No." Then he said, "Sir, you can try 'Triphala'. It is not a medicine, it is a combination of three fruits. It is quite innocent and innocuous - you can take it, Sir." "No, I've not taken medicines for a long time. My body is not used to taking medicine of any kind." No go! What to do? He flatly refused -complete non-cooperation. Then He said, "Whenever there is such trouble, I apply Force." And Dr. Manilal said, "Why don't you apply it, Sir?" Then He replied, "It's not that I'm not applying Force, but it's not acting." (Laughter) "Because the body is not accustomed to receive

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the Force in this static position. It is somewhat tamasic, and sometimes I also feel lazy to apply the Force." (Laughter) All of us roared with laughter at this frank admission. Then we were wondering what to do. "All right, I'll try." Then He started being a little more vigorous and the result was very fine. But sometimes it became erratic: the result was excessive or it was diminutive, too much or too little. We said, "What is this, Sir?" Then He answered with a smile: "It is a question of too much or too little." We couldn't understand the reference. Then He told us the story that I told you the other day, about the two African soldiers trying to escape from the British during the Boer War, and one of them being helped 'too much' by the Lord!

So that is the story of the evacuation. And you see that our relations with the Lord have already become more friendly, more chummy, by this time. The walls of unfamiliarity were breaking, little by little, and then started the famous 'Talks' or 'Evening Talks'. It happened in this way, all on a sudden. I had gone out for some work one evening. I returned after half an hour or so and saw, to my surprise, that all the rest of his attendants were sitting by Sri Aurobindo's left side, and He had started talking while lying down. I was very curious to hear and, little by little, I approached them. All were craning their necks because Sri Aurobindo's voice was very soft and very low, though very sweet, and He spoke in a very slow, distinct rhythm. But He was talking! Unless you were near the bed, it was not possible to catch the words. So I was unfortunate that day because I couldn't get into the crowd, I was behind. And from the next day, I made it a point not to run away at that time and keep as near as possible.

Every evening, because we had nothing to do, and He had nothing to do, somewhere around 6:30 or 7 o'clock, Dr. Manilal would come up after his tea, and Sri Aurobindo would start talking. Dr. Manilal would ask questions naturally and Sri Aurobindo would answer, and then He'd start talking of His own accord. There was no other purpose of these talks except to provide a diversion for us poor fellows who were attending on Him. Most of us were with Him almost twenty-four hours each day, except for our meals. That reminds me - Dr.Manilal

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would often tell me and the others, "Go, go, there's nothing to do. Have your meal, take some rest." But we'd refuse to budge. Not that we had to do anything out of fear that Sri Aurobindo would say something, but it was simply that we did not like to budge from His presence. What was there in that Presence? There was something that I cannot describe. It was that Presence, it was that magnetic attraction that kept us there, and we refused to go elsewhere even for an instant. And our life was, for many days, a song of joy and beauty and love. And what energy we felt within ourselves! You have no idea at all. We hardly had two or three hours of sleep at night. Though we had no duty, we couldn't sleep and yet we never felt tired. Day after day we passed in this way, full of energy, full of joy, full of vigour.