On Savitri
THEME/S
PART I
tat savitur varam rūpam jyotiḥ parasya dhìmahi,
yannaḥ satyena dipayet
Savitri is Sri Aurobindo's mantric epic. He says in one of his letters:
Savitri is the record of a seeing, of an experience which is not of the common kind and it is often very far from what the general human mind sees and experiences.
The work of illustrating the whole of Savitri through paintings was given to me by the Divine Mother on 6th October 1961. It was so great, so beyond the capacity of little instrument she had summoned, that only her Grace working in Sri Aurobindo's Light could have seen me through.
The Mother wrote to me on 12 .7.1956:
Bonjour
To my dear little child
To my sweet Huta
Indeed I shall show you how to paint and I shall be glad if you
learn well.
1Sri Aurobindo on Himself, SABCL, Vol. 26, p. 513.
One day I shall call you and do a painting in front of you.
With my love and blessings always
The Mother
On 14.12.1956, in the morning, I went to the Meditation Hall upstairs, as previously arranged by the Mother. There she taught me painting right from the very beginning, because I did not know how to draw even a straight line, or how to hold a brush—nor did I have any colour sense.
After a few days the Mother sent me a card showing a vase with beautiful carnations of various colours. Her encouraging words were:
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24.12.56
Here is a nice vase of "Collaboration", for indeed we shall collaborate to do nice things and express in painting a higher world and consciousness.
Truly the Divine Grace is over you to lead you to an exceptional realisation.
Along with it my love and blessings never leave you.
The Mother has given this significance to the Carnation:
Collaboration, ever ready to help and knowing how to do it.
After that the Mother started sending me for painting numerous objects from her rare collections. Also many varieties of exquisite flowers, along with her own sketches, in order to show me their right composition and perspective.
I received a letter from the Mother, dated 7.2.57:
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I have received your nice letter. Yes, we are going towards a painting that will be able to express the supramental truth of things.
My love and blessings and the Presence of the Divine Grace are always with you
That same evening she explained to me:
I want you to do something new. You must try to do the Future Painting in the New Light.
There is a reason why I always ask you to paint mostly on a white background. It is an attempt to express the Divine Light without shadow in the Future Painting. But everything will cone in its own time.
In the Future Painting, you must not copy blindly the outer appearance without the inner Vision. Never let people's ideas influence your mind and impose their advice about the Future Painting. Do not try to adopt the technique either of modem art or of old classical art. But always try to express the true inner vision of your soul and its deep impression behind everything to bring out the Eternal Truth and to express the glory of the Higher Worlds.
Truth is behind everything. For the Divine dwells in flowers, trees, animals, birds, and rivers as well as human beings—in fact, in every creation of Nature.
You must have the psychic touch to see and feel the vibrations, the sensations and the essence of the Truth in everything and that Truth is to be expressed in the Future Painting.
To paint perfectly is not an easy thing. It certainly takes time. But by the growth of consciousness you can have inspiration, intense vision, delicacy of colours, harmony and subtlety of true beauty. Then you can surely express wonderful things in painting. Otherwise painting will be a lifeless confusion.
The growth of consciousness is essential for doing marvellous paintings. I shall help you, I shall put my Force into you so that there will be a link between our two consciousnesses.
I asked the Mother: "Without seeing the Divine Light, how can I paint?"
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She laughed softly and said:
Child, it will come.
Now it was apparent that I had to learn numerous things from various angles in painting in order to step into the unknown domain of the secret and higher worlds where I could release lavishly, freely my imaginations, reveries and inspirations to express exactly what the Mother wished me to do.
The play of colour—balanced distribution of light and shadow to bring out the perfect harmony of colour—the subtle infusion of light, the transcendent spontaneity, the magical changes of Nature—the supreme Colourist's realism and visions—all these I had to put on canvases with vibrant, various strokes of brushes.
I was perfectly aware that it was not going to be easy, but life now beckoned me along strange paths which I must tread. There was no turning back since I had committed myself to the spiritual life and the higher artistic sphere.
The Mother has stated:
If you want art to be true and highest art, it must be the expression of a Divine World brought down into this material world.
She valued true feeling and right consciousness more than only precise and decorative work without vibrations and vividness. She put stress on "White Light without shadow." It is the vibration of Light which alone can give life and colour to every scene painted.
The Mother gave a proper training to my hands. In 1956 she asked me to clean the inside of her two carved cupboards which are in the Meditation Hall upstairs, so that I might learn to hold the most precious, delicate and fragile objects with steadiness, great care and concentration. She made my hands conscious, receptive and sensitive by putting her Force, Light and Consciousness into them.
She also sent me thousands of the most exquisite picture-cards, so that I might perceive and grasp their beauties and obtain inspiration from Nature: trees, flowers, mountains, rivers, animals and so on. These cards were prepared by Champaklal. He used to paste the pictures on folders, on which the Mother wrote to me.
Surely the Mother did not take up the Savitri work abruptly. She educated me both outwardly and inwardly, knowing that these types of paintings were not of the common kind. This training went on for years with patience and perseverance. Nobody knew of it!
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On 21.1.57 the Mother revealed to me about her way with paintings:
I enter into their consciousness and find out their meanings, the truth and beauty behind each painting.
Some paintings are indeed very nice to look at—they have pretty and gorgeous colours, but when there are no living vibrations and deep harmony, then obviously the paintings are lifeless and without value. But where there is a combination of the two—outward charm and inner vision—then they are real and can be considered as true art.
In your paintings I have felt the living vibrations and that is very good.
The Mother added:
A true artist never speaks of what he has done: "Oh! I have done a nice painting!" Instead he thinks and says, "Oh, no. I could not do it nicely, it is not what I wanted to do."
In fact, he is never satisfied with his work and he continues his effort until he paints masterpieces. An artist puts the full power of his aspiration in his work to reach perfection.
Not only was the Mother teaching me painting, but also giving me lessons of life: how to be modest and persistent in my endeavour to reach perfection and develop into a true artist.
None can beat the Mother's vision, conception and knowledge. A pointer to her being and her ways may be found in Savitri, Book Four, Canto 1:
And from her eyes she cast another look
On all around her than man's ignorant view.
All objects were to her shapes of living selves
And she perceived a message from her kin
In each awakening touch of outward things.2
The Mother never failed to encourage me. On 19.2.57 she sent me a beautiful card depicting her coloured photograph. Her words were:
To my dear little child To my sweet Huta
This is to say to my sweet child, on the occasion of my birthday,
2Savitri, p. 357.
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how glad I am of the progress she is making both spiritually and in her painting—and to assure her of my constant and affectionate help so that this progress will increase without stop. My love and blessings and the presence of the Divine Grace never leave you.
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Towards the end of 19581 went to London according to the Mother's wish. I came back in August 1960.
This was the New Year message of 1961 from the Mother to all:
This wonderful world of delight waiting at our gates for our call to come down upon earth.
As always, she gave me diaries in which to write my journal.
On 1st September 1961, my physical birthday, the Mother called me to the Meditation Hall upstairs and gave me a folder. When I opened it, I found my own paintings on either side. One was "Soul of Beauty," and the other was a vision the Mother had seen in my heart and asked me to paint in 1957. Underneath the picture these lines from Sri Aurobindo's Savitri (p. 397) were inscribed:
This golden figure...
Hid in its breast the key of all his aims,
A spell to bring the Immortal's bliss on earth.
The Mother looked at me for a few seconds. Then her eyes closed gradually. She slid into a profound trance which lasted more than ten minutes. On opening her eyes she said:
I achieved in my tender age the highest occult troths. I have realised and seen all the visions set forth in Savitri.
Actually I experienced the poem's supramental revelations before I arrived in Pondicherry, and before Sri Aurobindo read out Savitri to me early in the morning day after day at a certain period of the Ashram. I never told Sri Aurobindo all that I had seen in my visions beforehand...
She laughed softly, sweetly, and resumed:
I have seen the beauties and wonders of the higher worlds. Now I think of expressing them in painting by various colours—blues, golds, pinks and whites—with certain vibrations of Light—all in harmony forming the New World.
I wish to bring down upon earth this New World. Since I have no time physically, I will paint through you.
The world of Supreme Beauty exists. I shall take you there, you will see the things, remember them and then express them in paintings.
Yes, yes, my will shall be done—the Supreme Beauties exist. I will certainly take you there.
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I see the butterfly ready in its cocoon. I do not wish it to come out soon, but gradually. Then after emerging from the chrysalis you will have enough knowledge to reach your goal.
Once again the Mother closed her eyes—a slight smile hovering on her lips. When she awoke, she said:
I realised the Divine in my early twenties, your age!
You see, the Inner Divinity is Omnipotence, Omniscience,
Omnipresence. This Divinity is constantly with me—guiding and inspiring me.
I held her hands and said eagerly: "Oh, I haven't yet realised the Divine."
She smiled and assured me:
You will.
Further she added:
For occultism one needs a Guru. But spirituality can be transferred (she made a gesture moving her index finger from the middle of her chest towards my heart), like this.
On another occasion, the Mother said:
Child, our work is a work of the Future—a work of tomorrow for younger generations who will be the builders of the New . World.
She also revealed:
Savitri is the prophetic vision of Sri Aurobindo. It will surpass the Gita and the Bible.
Without reading Savitri intellectually I could not go any further. So in 1961 the Mother arranged for me to read it with Ambalal Purani. We finished reading Book One. Then in 1963 he went to the U.K. and the United States. After he had returned from abroad he fell ill. In 1965 he passed away. So the Mother arranged for me to read Savitri with Amal Kiran (K. D. Sethna).
Sri Aurobindo first introduced Savitri to Amal in private drafts, and wrote toiiim most of the letters that are now published along with the epic.
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Amal and I met for the first time in 1961, upstairs in the passage which connects the Mother's and Sri Aurobindo's rooms. I casually asked him about a chess board, because just then the Mother and I were doing something on that theme. He drew one and made me understand it.
When we started our reading of Savitri some people warned Amal against me and asked him to discontinue. Amal cut them short, saying: "The Mother has arranged our reading. Besides, I have seen and felt Huta's soul. I cannot back out."
Amal made me understand Savitri intellectually and aesthetically. As soon as he would leave my apartment after out study sessions, I used to write down what he had explained to me in detail. I have numerous cherished notebooks which are of great value to me.
It was 7th August 1965 when I finished reading the whole of Savitri with Amal. I could not check my tears of joy. He too was moved. We shook hands over the long harmonious collaboration and absorbing discussions.
That day in the afternoon I went to the Mother to inform her about it. She smiled, heaved a sigh of happiness, and said:
Ah, one big work is done.
Here are Amal's own words, published in the Mother India, Monthly Review of Culture, in May 1979, page 276:
An appreciative treatment of Savitri in its poetic quality—an elucidation of its thought-content, its imagery-inspiration, its word-craft and its rhythm-impact: this [the Mother] did not consider as beyond another interpreter than herself. I can conclude thus because she fully approved Huta's proposal to her that I should go through the whole of the epic with Huta during the period when the Mother and she were doing the illustrations of the poem, the Mother making outline sketches or suggesting the general disposition of the required picture and Huta following her instructions, invoking Sri Aurobindo's spiritual help, keeping the Mother's presence constantly linked to both her heart and hand and producing the final finished painting.
It was a long-drawn-out pleasure—my study-sessions with the young artist who proved to be a most eager and receptive pupil, indeed so receptive that on a few occasions, with my expository enthusiasm serving as a spur, she would come out with ideas that taught a thing or two to the teacher.
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I never knew he would write such a thing about me. I always marvelled at his modesty, selflessness and goodwill.
Meanwhile the month of October 1961 had arrived—slowly, like a benediction, hope and peace diffused in my whole being.
The Mother called me to the Meditation Room upstairs on 6 October 1961 in the morning, to take up the work of Savitri painting.
She and I exchanged flowers and smiles. Then I looked at her eagerly to show me how to do the first painting. I felt as if the doors of hidden worlds were going to open before me. From the Mother's expression I gathered that now I would always be submerged in this wonderful consciousness from where I would never come out. Ah, it is true so far!
The date 6 is auspicious—according to the Mother the number 6 signifies "New Creation".
She was absolutely indrawn in sheer silence. After her deep meditation she looked at me unblinking. Then there was the sudden flicker of a smile in her eyes when she spoke:
Child, have you thought of painting the jacket of the book which will be published after we have finished some paintings of Savitri ?
Once more she lapsed into a profound trance. She awoke, took a piece of paper and a pencil and drew a cover picture. She explained:
Show the descent of the Supreme Mother. A flash of white Light forming the feet which rest on the globe of the earth. Don't forget to paint the outline of a lotus, which must be mingled with the white Light.
She also made me understand the colour-scheme.
Then she held my hands, and pressed them in order to fill them with her Consciousness. She kissed my forehead.
With a blank mind I reacher my apartment, sat on a chair in my studio where the Mother herself had sat when she declared open my apartment on 10th February 1958.
There was the jumble of colour-tubes, brushes, palette knives, distilled turpentine, Unseed oil, rags.
I put the canvas board on the easel and squeezed liberal quantities of pigments on a palette. The Mother had shown me how to arrange colours on the palette when she started teaching me painting on 11th December 1956.
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I finished the painting and sent it to the Mother that very morning. She returned it through Ambu who broughtprasad from her at midday along with this note:
There is no need of changing anything. It is excellent.
This was the beginning of our work.
The following name was given by the Mother to this work:
It is impossible for me to give the full description of all the Savitri paintings here. But I shall try to convey glimpses of some of them.
The Mother explained to me the sixth picture of Book One Canto One:
All can be done it the God-touch is there.
A hope stole in that hardly dared to be
Amid the Night's forlorn indifference...
Into a far-off nook of heaven there came
A slow miraculous gesture's dim appeal...
A wandering hand of pale enchanted light
That glowed along a fading moments brink....3
Child, you must show in your painting the rays of White Light streaming out from all the fingers of "a wandering hand".
In reality, from the occult point of view the White Light flowed from the Mother's own fingers.
On 4th November 1961 she made me understand the eighth picture of the same book, the same canto:
The darkness failed and slipped like a falling cloak From the reclining body of a god.3a
She went into a deep meditation for quite a long time. When she opened her eyes. I felt as if she were still dreaming. The Mother said:
3Ibid., p. 3. 38Ibid.
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I saw in 1904 the vision of a Spirit when I went into the Inconscient. The form of this Spirit was neither of man nor of woman. Nor was it Vishnu or Shiva or Krishna.
Once again she closed her eyes to recall what she had seen in the fathomless darkness. When she awoke she instructed me:
Child, you must paint a pale gold reclining figure of a God. His right cheek is resting on his right palm. His head with long golden hair is on a white cushion. And in the background you must show a myriad rainbow hues of opals. Also the black colour of the darkness sliding off Him.
It was difficult to paint rainbow colour. I could not finish the painting. That very night I had a vision:
The shimmering waves of the divine White Light enveloped me as they turned into brilliant multi-colours. They were in gradations— from pale blue to night sky, from shell-pink to deepest crimson, from pale green to Nile green, and the same with the rest of the hues.
Then suddenly they assumed the faces of beautiful beings—but their lower bodies were like trails of different colours. These beings mingled with one another, yet retained their individualities. Their dancing movements were like music, the tinkle, the chime of numerous bells echoing and re-echoing through the sweet silence of eternity. My eyes drank in the melody of the vivid, various colours with as much joy as I would have had hearing an ethereal symphony in perfect harmony in the Divine Light.
This was an ecstasy, an indescribable thrill. I was floating upward into a realm of glory beyond anything I had ever beheld or ever known.
This vision of mine reminds or me of Sri Aurobindo's poem The Life Heavens:
Sounds, colours, joy-flamings—Life lies here
Dreaming, bound to the heavens of its goal,
In the clasp of a Power that enthrals to sheer
Bliss and beauty body and rapt soul.4
Indeed the Savitri paintings were expressed in multi-colours to accord with the twelve dimensions known to occultism.
The next morning I finished the picture, and showed it to the Mother
4Collected Poems, SABCL, Vol. 5, p. 574,
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in the afternoon. She clasped my hands, looked into my eyes for a moment or two and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Her gesture conveyed to me everything.
My memory winged back to the year 1958. On 8th February in the evening the Mother and I had met. She looked at me for a few seconds and plunged into deep meditation. I could not have cared less, did not respond, did not concentrate; my vagrant thoughts rambled on. She was serenely peaceful, unruffled, untouched. Then the Mother opened her eyes and said with great regret:
Just now I saw in my vision beautiful luminous beings from above bringing precious gifts for you. They wished to enter your whole being with these boons. But unhappily, you were completely shut up and denied them. So they went back to where they had come from.
There were no tears in my eyes—only solid unutterable despair.
The Mother looked at me and smiled—a sad smile I had failed to collaborate, to receive, to assimilate. I felt sick, very sick, in my heart, mind and body.
She leaned from her couch, patted my cheeks and affirmed:
The luminous beings will return one day and enter your whole being.
So they came back to me by the Divine's Grace.
The Savitri paintings left me day after day in wonder.
The Mother took me with her to the world of true art, the world of Beauty from which all the inspiration came, a world of ecstatic joy, unbounded happiness, a world of magnificence.
Sri Aurobindo has written:
The Mother believes in beauty as a part of spiritual and divine living.
On 6th November 1961 the Mother met me in the morning in the Meditation Hall upstairs and explained to me the ninth picture:
A glamour from the unreached transcendences
Iridescent with the glory of the Unseen,
A message from the unknown immortal Light
Ablaze upon creation's quivering edge,
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Dawn built her aura of magnificent hues
And buried its seed of grandeur in the hours.5
She drew a faint line here and there on a piece of paper. I could hardly make out anything. The Mother wished me to use various colours for the painting. She asked me:
Have you seen the dawn?
I said: "No, Mother. Because I work late at night I cannot get up early to see the dawn. I am sorry."
She laughed softly and left me in an ambiguous state.
I was terribly nervous when I reached my apartment. Tears welled up in my eyes and I thought again and again, "why, oh why did I take up this difficult work?" My anger rose to match the situation.
Then at last I dragged myself towards the easel in my studio. I sat on a chair, squeezed out several colours at random on the palette and started blindly giving strokes here and there on a board with a single brush, without thinking, caring, or even trying to sketch the Dawn.
In the afternoon I went to the Mother. She looked at the picture, a meditative gleam in her eyes, and said:
Oh, it is excellent!
I frowned with perplexity. She laughed and said:
You see, while I was taking my lunch I was thinking, "I did not quite make the girl understand how to paint the Dawn. How is she getting on with it?" Meanwhile, I saw Sri Aurobindo in a vision. He informed me that I should not worry about the girl. She is getting on well with the painting. And now I can see what he meant!
At that very moment I was made to understand that not only did the Mother's Consciousness help me in this work, but that Sri Aurobindo's Consciousness too played its role admirably.
According to Sri Aurobindo:
Dawn always means an opening of some kind—the coming of something that is not yet fully there.
On the morning of 8th November the Mother instructed me about the tenth picture:
5Savitri, pp. 3-4.
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On life's thin border awhile the Vision stood
And bent over earth's pondering forehead curve.6
The Mother saw my picture in the afternoon and liked it. I drew her attention to the arms of the Vision, saying, "Mother, aren't they too long?" She assured me:
Never mind. They are impressive and symbolic.
Then she got up from her high-backed carved chair, came very close to me, looked at my face with her luminous gaze for a few minutes, cupped it in her hands and said firmly:
Now, just now, I saw a beautiful brilliant face of an angel. One day it will come out.
She kissed me on my forehead and bade me "Au revoir."
In the domain of our souls there are numerous beautiful beings or angels. When the Mother spoke she always meant the spiritual and occult truths, which are beyond our comprehension.
The Mother interpreted the sixteenth picture:
All sprang to their unvarying daily acts;
The thousand peoples of the soil and tree
Obeyed the unforeseeing instant's urge,
And, leader here with his uncertain mind,
Alone who stares at the future's covered face,
Man lifted up the burden of his fate.7
She remarked:
In this painting there is a purpose behind. One likes to see it over and over again. Man is an ignorant being, and yet he is an exception in Nature.
On 17th November 1961 the Mother explained to me the seventeenth picture:
And Savitri too awoke among these tribes
That hastened to join the brilliant Summoner's chant...
6Ibid., p. 4.
7Ibid.,p.6.
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A narrow movement on Time's deep abysm,
Life's fragile littleness denied the power,
The proud and conscious wideness and the bliss
She had brought with her into the human form,
The calm delight that weds one soul to all,
The key to the flaming doors of ecstasy.8
She did the sketch in front of me, and told me about the colour-scheme. She said:
Child, when you paint Savitri's portrait, you must see that throughout you have to paint the same face but with various expressions. Different features will look odd.
I asked her about Savitri's complexion. The Mother said,
Why, the fair Indian complexion, ivory—a sunny ivory complexion.
I inquired: "Mother what is 'sunny ivory'?" She leaned a little forward from her chair, patted my arm and said with a smile:
Like your complexion.
I blushed. Yes, at that time I had a very fair complexion. I remember the Mother always admired it. As the years passed, gradually the awful weather, constant psychological struggle, perpetual assaults of the invisible entities, setbacks, sufferings and difficulties spoiled my skin considerably. However the essential thing in life, I believe, is the charm and beauty of the soul.
On 19th November the Mother made me understand the nineteenth picture of Book One, Canto One:
Inflicting on the heights the abysm's law,
It sullies with its mire heaven's messengers:
Its thorns of fallen nature are the defence
It turns against the saviour hands of Grace;
It meets the sons of God with death and pain.9
8 Ibid.
9Ibid., p. 7.
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She did the sketch and asked me to show blood oozing from Savitri's hands and right foot.
When the Mother saw the painting she said:
The expression of Savitri is very good indeed.
On 24th December the Mother greeted me with three white roses and a charming smile. She read the passage:
As in a mystic and dynamic dance
A priestess of immaculate ecstasies
Inspired...to things beyond.10
Instead of explaining to me through a drawing, the Mother gave me a dancing pose—the right foot was lifted—the right hand came down— the left hand went up. She showed me how the priestess should dance.
This reminds me that in one of her births she was also a priestess in Egypt.
Now it was 24th November—the Darshan day. The Mother distributed to people this message, which appealed to me very much:
It is by a constant inner growth that one can find constant newness and unfailing interest in life. There is no other satisfying way.
Sri Aurobindo
For several months the Mother and I worked continuously. We were working on Book One, Canto Four, when in May 1962 the Mother was taken seriously ill. She convalesced for quite a long time in her second-floor apartment. She never came down again. After that I went to her for our work on Savitri—in the music-cum-interview room.
There she explained to me the sixth picture of Book One Canto Four:
Along a path of aeons serpentine
In the coiled blackness of her nescient course
The Earth-Goddess toils across the sands of Time.11
This expressed the Mother's own struggle, I felt.
Time flew on rapid wings. Our work progressed considerably well. The Mother took my consciousness to other spheres and let me see many extraordinary things in detail. She also made me feel their
10 lbid.. p. 15.
11Ibid., p.50.
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vibrations and meet numerous strange beings of different types. Without her direct instructions, guidance and constant help nothing could have been achieved.
Some people thought that the paintings of Savitri were mere pictures; some even mocked and criticised. Some passed remarks out of sheer jealousy and disdain. They believed the paintings to be my personal possessions and affair, because I had done them and because the Mother had graciously granted me the copyright of them—which much later I passed on to the Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education. But really speaking, the paintings of the whole of Savitri are the Mother's own creation, based not only on her series of visions but also on her own guiding sketches: they are a reflection of her own Yoga.
On the morning of 18th December 1964 the Mother explained to me one of the paintings of Book five, The Book of Love.
For Satyavan she drew trousers and said:
He should wear tight trousers.
I raised my eyebrows and inquired, "Mother, tight trousers? They are modem—what about a dhoti?" She said:
Why, but the trousers are all right. I do not like a dhoti here, because it is modem.
When I showed the painting to the Mother I thought it was awful. Once again I broached the subject of the dhoti. She said firmly:
Ah no, I prefer trousers here. It is better if you change the colour of the trousers to pale greyish-blue instead of brown. Then they will look nice.
Here too some people criticised when they saw the exhibition of the Savitri paintings. The Mother once remarked that people do not see beyond their noses. She always reiterated:
All these paintings are paintings of tomorrow—future paintings.
When Book Six, The Book of Fate, was in progress, I did the painting of Savitri's mother. I did not cover her head with the sari, so she lacked the appearance of royalty. The Mother asked me to cover her
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head. I said: "As I have painted the first picture of her without any covering, how will it look in other pictures if I cover her head?" The Mother smiled and said:
Why, but she can always cover her head when the sari slips. In the first picture the sari had slipped and in another picture she has pulled it up!
I savoured her sense of humour.
The Mother was very particular about covering. I remember that one day while I was working my sari got disarranged. She arranged it and advised me:
Child, you should always cover yourself properly.
I painted the Mother's eyes from the photograph depicting her eyes. She liked the painting very much and asked me to include it in Savitri's Book Ten, The Book of Double Twilight, picture thirteen:
And Savitri looked on Death and answered not...
A mighty transformation came on her...
A curve of the calm hauteur of far heaven
Descending into earth's humility,
Her forehead's span vaulted the Omniscient's gaze,
Her eyes were two stars that watched the universe.12
As days, months and years passed, our work approached a close. Each day was a new revelation for me. Each painting had its own story, told and written by the Mother.
I am sorry that I cannot give a full account of my work with the Mother. What I am writing here is just a glimpse, an outline. All the details will be given when my spiritual autobiography, The Story of a Soul, is published in book-form in several volumes.
The Mother saw the last paintings of Book Twelve, Epilogue, on 1st September 1965. The lines for the last picture run:
Numberless the stars swam on their shadowy field
Describing in the gloom the ways of light.
12Ibid., pp. 664-65.
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Then while they skirted yet the southward verge,
Lost in the halo of her musing brows
Night, splendid with the moon dreaming in heaven
In silver peace, possessed her luminous region.
She brooded through her stillness on a thought
Deep-guarded by her mystic folds of light,
And in her bosom nursed a greater dawn.11
When the Mother saw the painting she told me in moving words:
It is beautiful, excellent—full of feeling.
I actually saw her eyes moist with tears of happiness—because indeed she was anxiously waiting for the auspicious day to come: the great Dawn of the Supramental World.
Then with a smile she put a garland of jasmines around my neck— this was a reward to me. In my birthday card she wrote:
With my blessings for your whole being to become conscious of your soul and to manifest it constantly in your thoughts, feelings and actions.
In Eternal Love.
I told the Mother: "When I have finished re-touching and re-doing the Savitri paintings according to your guidance, I shall have no work." She smiled and affirmed:
You see, you will have so many things to do. Only idle people can say they have no work!
The Mother had the paintings of Meditations on Savitri, Book One, Cantos One to Five, published in book form in four volumes from 1962 to 1965. She did not allow me to retouch or repaint the Savitri paintings for these books, because, she said:
These volumes are only an experiment. I want to show to the world how the consciousness is developed.
For each volumes the Mother gave a wonderful message, respectively:
13Ibid., p. 724.
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While teaching me occultism during out Savitri work, the Mother disclosed to me the mysteries of the higher luminous worlds, as well as the horrible nether worlds. In fact she took my consciousness to those worlds in order to give me experiences and make me understand the hidden truth of things.
The Mother did hundreds of Savitri sketches along with her explanations. Also she wrote a number of letters in this regard.
I recall one of her letters:
7.4.65
Dear little child Huta,
The sketches are very good. Especially the 3 heads of Savitri are excellent. I have made a little change to the man of power. His hands must be chained separately each one to a machine on both sides of his body, because he does not see the chains and believes he is free.
LOVE
Here the man represented Ego—the lines are from Book Seven, Canto Four:
She spoke and from the lower human world
An answer, a warped echo met her speech...
The voice rose up and smote some inner sun:
"I am the heir of the forces of the earth,
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Slowly I make good my right to my estate...
When earth is mastered, I shall conquer heaven;
The gods shall be my aids or menial folk,
No wish I harbour unfulfilled shall die:
Omnipotence and omniscience shall be mine."14
The Mother also taught me how to read Savitri:
14Ibid., pp. 510-13.
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7.7.65
Dear little child of mine
You like to read Savitri to me and to say your feelings about it—this is quite all right—and I like your understanding of Savitri, which is also all right. So everything is all right and you can be sure of my friendship.
*
The Savitri paintings, and other visionary paintings of that time, were done in the midst of hideous difficulties and sufferings. Many a time the Mother was taken suddenly ill: she ran a temperature along with a cold and cough. Despite all this, she never stopped explaining to me about the Savitri paintings.
On my side too there were spells of indisposition. But the stress of inspiration was so intense that I could not stop.
The Mother gave certain days in the week for our work. The rest of the days I was so preoccupied with painting that sometimes I found no time even to comb my hair. When my maid-servant was absent, I had no time to go to the Dining Room, and had to make do with bits of bred and water.
Often the electricity failed. The inspiration was so intense that I had to hold a flashlight in one hand and keep on paiting with the other—I simply could not halt. During the rains, water would leak in from all sides of the ceiling. I suffered from a severe cold and cough.
I had to clean the rooms before I retired late at night. The Mother had instructed me that I should clean the brushes and the palette as soon as my work was over. Several times I got electric shocks in the water while cleaning the brushes—they were terrifying.
Later this was rectified by Bula-da, for whom I had a great regard. Once he told me: "Huta, let other people go by the Frontier Mail, we will go in the Goods Train. That too will reach the goal—slowly but surely." I liked his advice.
The Mother's Force was working ceaseless in my whole being to fulfil my soul's aspiration. She believed in killing several birds with one stone. Only the Divine Diplomat can do this.
When I was completely absorbed in painting, I forgot to use my handkerchief on my face; instead I would wipe my face with the rags
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I used for cleaning the paintbrushes—and wiped the brushes with my handkerchief! After finishing work I went to clean my brushes and glanced at the mirror. I was horrified to see my face. My hair was dishevelled, and several patches of different colours added a rainbow glory to my visage!
Sometimes while painting I started feeling suffocated, owing to some heaviness in my heart. The inner churning was constant. Tears rolled down my cheeks. With one hand I was painting and with the other wiping my eyes.
The Mother's strides were getting longer and quicker. At times it was difficult to keep pace with her. I got exhausted. There were days when nothing existed for me except the mission of finishing the task I carried in my heart.
Throughout the whole year of 1966 the Mother asked me to retouch and repaint many of the Savitri paintings according to her instructions.
She had arranged to display 468 Savitri paintings in the Sri Aurobindo Ashram Exhibition Hall in February 1967. But before that the Mother expressed her wish to see all the paintings once again in order to fill them with her Force, Light and Consciousness. For she once commented that the Savitri paintings were not mere paintings but living beings full of vibrations. So I took the paintings to the Mother a few at a time. She touched each of them and concentrated on them. Above all, she Was extremely happy to see them, and remarked:
People see these types of paintings from the material point of view, while I always see them from the spiritual point of view. They are visions—they are symbolic.
On 16.1.1967 the Mother wrote to me:
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My dear little child Huta
You have worked wonderfully!
With all my love
I was touched by her letter, and wrote to express my aspiration to reach the Divine Goal. Then she replied to me:
As the paintings were done, so the Goal will be reached.
For the exhibition the Mother gave the following message:
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Here is
Savitri
The importance of Savitri is immense.
Its subject is universal.
Its revelation is prophetic.
The time spent in its atmosphere is not wasted.
Take all the time necessary to see the exhibition.
It will be a happy compensation for the feverish haste men put
now in all they do.
10.2.1967
I had seen the final arrangements of the paintings. Krishnalal, Jayantilal, Vasudev-bhai and others were there to arrange everything. The Mother asked me not to go to the Exhibition Hall once the exhibition of the Savitri paintings was declared open by Amrita. Nolini-da, Dyuman and Udar accompanied him. I obeyed her. A dear old lady said to me with good will:
Huta, I saw the exhibition of Savitri paintings. You have done the work of 100 births in this one life. You are liberated.
I replied that it was all the Grace of the Divine.
Here I recall Michelangelo's words:
The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.
It is well known that the Mother was a fine artist who excelled in drawing and sketching as well as oil-painting. When she started teaching me how to draw objects I realised how engrossed she would be when doing sketches.
While explaining Savitri to me and showing me the way to paint it, the Mother simply poured her heart out in expressing through a few strokes the whole vision of each selected passage.
On 18th July 19661 went to the Mother for the Savitri work. After the work I told her: "Mother some people have said that you are preparing to go..."
She laughed softly and answered:
Yes, people think like that. It is a falsehood. And a falsehood has no influence on the Truth. But the Truth has an influence
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on falsehood. Let them think as they like...
I said: "Mother, somebody also asked me, 'How can the Mother do sketches when her hands are shaky?' Some other think you are suffering from paralysis. Everything is awful. These people are really ridiculous!"
The Mother replied with surprise:
Oh, but my hands are not shaky, and I am quite all right. You see, my child, ever since I retired people have started imagining all sorts of things. But it is a mistake. I do my work all the same.
In this context, I later asked the Mother: "If you kindly permit, I greatly wish to exhibit your sketches along with the paintings of Savitri. If you trust me, I shall have them best displayed." She smiled sweetly and said:
Yes, I leave this matter to you. Do whatever you like.
I said joyously: "Mother I am honoured and happy. I am eager to show people these sketches, because some have thought that one of your hands was too shaky to draw anything. After seeing hundreds of your sketches they will realise that there is no shakiness in your hands."
The Mother was extremely happy and caressed my cheeks.
So along with the Savitri paintings, many of the Mother's sketches were also exhibited.
Later, after the exhibition was over, the Mother was requested by Jayantilal and others to select some of her sketches and allow them to be printed. She laughed merrily and said to all of us:
Ah, you see, when good food is served we must not tell everybody how it was cooked. Similarly we must not print the sketches and disclose the secret of how the paintings were done. People must find that out by themselves.
Once the Mother told me:
The Supreme has the supreme humility, because He is everything.
After the exhibition, on 8.3.1967, the paintings were taken to two rooms in Golconde, according to the Mother's wish.
Then, on the morning of Friday 8.1.99 I brought the Savitri paintings and two huge cupboards to my place, because I was asked
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to do so by Mona L. Pinto. The paintings remained in Golconde for 31 years or so.
In the near future these paintings will go to Savitri Bhavan at Auroville.*
During that time too, the Mother's recitations were going on. For the paintings, the Mother had asked me to choose the passages from Savitri which could be pictured. I wrote them out with a felt-pen on big sheets of handmade paper, so that she could easily read the selected passages which corresponded to the paintings. As she read, I tape-recorded her recitations.
The Mother completed the recitations from the whole of Savitri towards the end of 1967.
Gradually I gave to Sunil-da copies of all the recordings of the Mother's recitations, so that he could compose the Savitri music, according to the Mother's wish.
Sunil-da told me:
Huta, now I will have to read the whole of Savitri in order to understand the epic and then compose the music. According to the Divine's inspiration, you know, it was my aspiration to compose Savitri music. If you would not have recorded the Mother's recitations and given me the tapes I could not have composed the music. And your tape-recording is very nice—like a professional one.
I replied: "Sunil-da, I am honoured! You are very kind and appreciative. You see, everything is decided and arranged by the Supreme Lord. We are his instruments. I am fortunate and very happy to be one."
The Mother wished slides to be made of the Savitri paintings, so that they could be shown at the Ashram theatre as part of the celebrations during Sri Aurobindo's Birth Centenary Year, 1972. With the Mother's blessings Richard Eggenberger took up the work of preparing the slides from early 1971 onwards. He and his assistants finished taking slides of all of the Savitri paintings on 27.9.1971.
* These are now at Savitri Bhavan.—Editor.
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On 26.2.71 the Mother heard her own organ music along with her recitations. She liked it very much and fully approved of it to be used as an accompaniment throughout the slide shows. The Mother had given these names to her music:
Mystic Solitude, Quiet Power, Joy, Compassion of the Divine, Life in Eternity, Construction of the Future.
As for Sunil-da's Savitri music, the Mother arranged for it to be played in the Playground during the meditations on Thursdays and Sundays. In this connection she gave me a special blessings packet for Sunil-da. He was very pleased.
The Mother wished to know the exact date and time for showing in the Ashram theater the slides of the Meditations on Savitri paintings along with her own organ music and her recitations, recorded by me, of Savitri passages which corresponded with the paintings, so that she would put her special Force and Light during the programme. The first show was on Friday, 25.2.72 at 8.30 pm. On 21.7.72 was the last one. People enjoyed the shows. The Mother did not want me to attend the shows. I obeyed her.
In 1967, after the display of Savitri paintings in the Ashram Exhibition Hall, when I asked the Mother about making a movie of the Savitri paintings, she held my right hand, shook it with a broad smile and said with a face full of enthusiasm:
Yes, my child, we shall collaborate!
Years passed. I was wondering about the movie. On 6.7.72 M. Andre" had written to me:
Dear Huta
It is the Mother who told me, when I read your letter to her, to inquire from Kireet what his idea exactly was.
Now I have again spoken to her and she said it is very doubtful if Tarachand would take up this job, and besides the pictures would not come out well.
With kind regards
Yours,
André
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Now at last it seemed that the time had cone to get the movie of the Savitri paintings made. On 6.2.1973 it was decided by the Mother that the movie would be made by Michel Klostermann of Germany. When he was in charge of film production in Auroville, the Mother gave the name "Filmaur" for his project. The Mother gave Michel and me beautiful leather-bound folders with Sri Aurobindo's and her own photographs.
She wanted her own organ-music to be played as a background during her recitations of the Savitri passages corresponding to the paintings. She also wished that the movie should be full of liveliness, vibrations and vividness.
On 19.5.73 I wrote a letter to the Mother.
My dearest Mother
Michel has already started to make the movie of the Savitri paintings with your blessings. According to your instructions he will surely give to the paintings vividness, vibrations and liveliness while filming.
Your own organ-music and your recitations of Savitri passages will have stereophonic sound which will give a superb effect to the movie:
Meditations on Savitri
I pray you to make everything possible and done by your Force and Grace. Victory to the Supreme!
With love and kisses
Yours ever
Huta
She sent blessings packets through M. André.
Now Michel has fulfilled the Mother's wish by making the movie of all the Savitri paintings from Book One to Book Twelve. He has sent video cassettes of the movie to me, and to Shraddhavan for Savitri Bhavan, Auroville.
Meanwhile, a new work had started.
On the morning of 20th December 1967, the Mother saw me in her music-cum-interview room. She asked me:
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Have you brought anything to show me?
I said: "Yes, Mother. Here is the file of four hundred and sixty-five passages from Savitri which you recited and which were put below the Savitri paintings when they were exhibited in February 1967.
Mother, will you please explain these passages to me, and allow me to take down your explanations of them on my tape-recorder as I have done with your recitations of the passages? Then surely people will understand the Savitri paintings more easily."
She concentrated for a moment or two and then said enthusiastically:
If I have to explain these passages, I would prefer to start from the very beginning and give a full explanation of the whole of Savitri.
In fact, this had already been planned in the Mother's Vision long ago before I came to stay near her on 10th February 1955.
Once she revealed to a small group of sadhaks, soon after the first one-volume edition of Savitri was published in 1954 by the Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education:
Savitri is occult knowledge and spiritual experience. Some part of it can be understood mentally—but much of it needs the same knowledge and experience for understanding it. Nobody here except myself can explain Savitri. One day I hope to explain it in its true sense.
On 18th January 1968 in the morning the Mother and I commenced our new work on Savitri.
On 28th January the Mother gave it the name:
I may indicate how we proceeded. The Mother read out the passages from Savitri, and then, after a deep contemplation, gave her comments which I tape-recorded and later transcribed. Afterwards she saw and corrected my transcriptions.
All the comments by the Mother are wonderful. Here I would like to present one of them, from Book One Canto Three, which appeals to me very much. She recited this passage:
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Only a while at first these heavenlier states,
These large wide-poised upliftings could endure.
The high and luminous tension breaks too soon,
The body's stone stillness and the life's hushed trance,
The breathless might and calm of silent mind;
Or slowly they fail as sets a golden day.
The restless nether members tire of peace;
A nostalgia of old little works and joys,
A need to call back small familiar selves,
To tread the accustomed and inferior way,
The need to rest in a natural poise of fall,
As a child who learns to walk can walk not long,
Replace the titan will for ever to climb,
On the heart's altar dim the sacred fire.
An old pull of subconscious cords renews;
It draws the unwilling spirit from the heights,
Or a dull gravitation drags us down
To the blind driven inertia of our base.
This too the supreme Diplomat can use,
He makes our fall a means for greater rise.15
Her comment runs:
This is the great difficulty in the physical life. It is the strength of the old habit that pulls down the body to its old way. Then comes the struggle, and if the faith is sufficient, if the ardour for progress is there, then out of this fall we can rise to a higher receptivity and a better achievement.
In fact, there is nothing in this experimental life that is not meant to push the whole creation towards the luminous marvellous Divine End that is promised to our effort and to our faith.
Never despair. Never lose courage. Never, never lose faith. The Grace is there and marvellously uses everything to reach, as quickly as possible, the Goal that is promised to our effort.
If we can enlarge our consciousness sufficiently, we see that even the apparent defeats are marvellous steps towards the final Victory.
As we went on, the Mother uncovered Sri Aurobindo's vision and hers of the New World, expressing the Supramental Light, Consciousness, Force and Delight. She disclosed their effect on the
15Ibid., p. 34.
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cells of the body. She took the theme of Savitri only as starting-point and, when the right time came, spoke about the action of the New Consciousness which had been manifesting since the beginning of the year 1969.
On 21st March 1969, after our Savitri work, the Mother said:
Child, do you know, from the beginning of this year the New Consciousness has been coming down upon earth, which tells everything—what to do and what not to do—to people who are conscious and want to change.
This Consciousness is gradually and gently organising everything.
When you can withdrawn quietly and silently, and listen to it, it will tell you what you should do and what you should not.
This Consciousness does not do anything violently and forcibly but gently and gradually. It does not work only in the mind and the vital being but also in the body. It takes great care of the body and everything else.
I am putting this Consciousness around you. You will see it and feel it. It will tell you everything.
It is always smiling—it never gets angry, it never scolds, but is very gentle and very sweet, you'll see!
The Mother always kept her promise. I became more and more aware of the New Consciousness and its action.
The Mother's message of 1st April 1969 to all, in connection with the talk she gave me, runs:
Since the beginning of this year a New Consciousness is at work upon earth to prepare men for a New Creation, the Superman. For this creation to be possible the substance that constitutes man's body must undergo a big change, it must become more receptive to the Consciousness and more plastic under its working.
These are just the qualities that one can acquire through physical education.
So, if we follow this discipline with such a result in view, we are sure to obtain the most interesting result.
My blessings to all for progress and achievement.
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On 26th December 1969 I went to the Mother to hear the New Year music. There was also a message given by her:
The world is preparing for a big change. Will you help?
That day happened to be one of my days with the Mother. She recited from Savitri only one passage, for it was very long. After the work she read my prayer, and on the same sheet of paper she wrote:
It will be realised by the Supreme Power and Love.
That night I had a wonderful vision.
I went out of my body. My subtle body was now soaring up and up in an enormous space. There were the moon and stars. The atmosphere was very light, cool and soothing. I felt free like a bird. I did not realise how far I went up but now I could not see the moon and stars. I was beyond the heavenly bodies. There was endless space before me. Suddenly I saw something shining from the far horizon. I headed towards the glow. Now I was not soaring up vertically but my movement was as if I were swimming into a vast space. I was coming closer and closer to my destination. My first glance fell on two huge Suns. The one on the right was golden yellow and the other on the left was golden red. Their edges were touching and mingling with each other. I came still closer by crossing an immense lake which was packed with diamond-like lotuses and emerald leaves. The reflection of the two Suns added glory to the breathtaking beauty of the marvellous scene which was spread out like a panorama before my eyes.
I was now floating a little above the lake. Its coolness enveloped my subtle body.
Here the Divine had strewn lavishly her exquisite Beauty and Wonder and Quietude. The divine vibrations were overwhelming. I was engulfed by the new consciousness.
I reached the Suns. Their Force and Power were absolutely still and calm. Then I saw a narrow passage between the two Suns. I entered it, and on the other side I saw a golden world. There was nothing there except golden Light. I landed slowly on the divine soil, but to my surprise I was a little above the ground. I could not set my feet there. I was not walking but floating in this enchanting atmosphere. I came across a few luminous beings who were active, but their activities were without any sound. Everything was heavenly. There I felt the perfect Consciousness, Harmony, Peace, Beauty and Silence. I was simply bathed in the golden Light, in the soothing vibrations of a quiet joy and happiness.
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I roamed here and there freely, and silently communicated with the beings. Nothing was new to me because I identified myself completely with this magnificent World of Golden Light.
I was reluctant to come back to the dark world of falsehood. But alas, the next morning I saw myself lying in my bed. I felt extremely sorry and lost, and shed a few silent tears.
At once I remembered the whole passage from Savitri which the Mother had recited the previous morning and on which she had given her comment. The passage recounts an experience of Aswapati, the Yogi-King, father of Savitri.
A glimpse was caught of things forever unknown;
The letters stood out of the unmoving Word.
In the immutable nameless Origin
Was seen emerging as from fathomless seas
The trail of the Ideas that made the world,
And, sown in the black earth of Nature's trance,
The seed of the Spirit's blind and huge desire
From which the tree of cosmos was conceived
And spread its magic arms through a dream of space.
Immense realities took on a shape:
There looked out from the shadow of the Unknown
The bodiless Namelessness that saw God bom
And tries to gain from the mortal's mind and soul
A deathless body and a divine name.
The immobile hps, the great surreal wings,
The visage masked by superconscient Sleep,
The eyes with their closed lids that see all things,
Appeared of the Architect who builds in trance.
The original Desire bom in the Void
Peered out; he saw the hope that never sleeps,
The feet that run behind a fleeting fate,
The ineffable meaning of the endless dream.
As if a torch held by a power of God,
The radiant world of the everlasting Truth
Glimmered like a faint star bordering the night
Above the golden Overmind's shimmering ridge.
Even were caught as through a cunning veil
The smile of love that sanctions the; long game,
The calm indulgence and maternal breasts
Of Wisdom suckling the child-laughter of Chance,
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Silence the nurse of the Almighty's power,
The omniscient hush, womb of the immortal Word,
And of the Timeless the still brooding face,
And the creative eye of Eternity.16
The Mother's comment ran as follows:
All these images are meant to break the ordinary receptivity of mind and to open it to the conception—vaster, truer, creative— of the Supramental.
It is only in a receptive silence—when the whole inquisitive mind stops moving—that one can feel and understand the images described in these verses.
Also my memory flew back to one of the Mother's letters of the preceding year, when I had expressed to her my wish to go back to my own world of Beauty and Peace. She wrote:
I am leading you to a place much more beautiful than the one from which you came—a place of full and harmonious Consciousness...
I felt strongly that my vision of the Golden World was a glimpse which the Mother had given me, and that actually she had taken my consciousness there. But according to our human nature, I thought that the vision might be some kind of mental formation by myself; it could be simply a dream. I wrote to the Mother in order to make sure, because what I had seen had the look of a living thing, which I can never forget. She answered:
16 Ibid., pp. 40-41.
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Happily, the true worlds, and the true Consciousness are not a dream, but the only real Reality for those who are sincere and conscious.
Bonne Annee
for 1970
with all my love and blessings
Then I did the painting of my vision and showed it to the Mother. She said:
It is very impressive.
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This painting will appear, along with the verses and the Mother's comments, in the book About Savitri, Part Three.
Days passed. One day the Mother confirmed:
Now I have caught the exact thing regarding the work—now I know what Sri Aurobindo wants me to do.
On another occasion she said:
You see, Savitri is very good for me also, because while I read and recite, I do not think at all. I am only inspired. I need this experience.
I said:
Ah, Mother, you don't need anything, because you are the Divine, aren't you?
She laughed softly and stated:
Yes, that I am, but this is physical (pointing to her body). And there is the physical world and it must be perfected. In fact, nothing is enough for me.
Then, on the following session of our Savitri work, she revealed:
The work is really very good. I like it. When I concentrate and go back to the Origin of the Creation, I see things as a whole in their reality and then I speak.
You see, each time when I speak, Sri Aurobindo comes here. And I speak exactly what he wants me to speak. It is the inner hidden truth of Savitri that he wants me to reveal.
Each time he comes, a wonderful atmosphere is created. I have read Savitri before but it was nothing compared to this reading.
On 29th March 1972 I offered to the Mother twelve copies of About Savitri, Part One, consisting of Book One, Canto One.
The Mother's message for the book was:
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She gave me a copy and wrote on it:
To Huta,
With love and appreciation
and blessings
There are four parts of About Savitri. Two are already printed. The rest will be published in the course of time.
I have brought together the Mother's explanations along with my paintings, inspired and approved by her. She wrote:
All can be done if the God-touch is there.
This is what Sri Aurobindo has written in Savitri, and how true it has proved! I am really happy to share this splendid gift with everybody, in Sri Aurobindo and the Mother's Light. My profound gratitude to Sri Aurobindo and the Divine Mother for their Grace and Love.
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HUTA
(Copyright: Huta D. Hindocha)
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