On the Path

1969

Mother has said, "In the Yoga of Sri Aurobindo, the transformation of the body is indispensable so far as it can be done."

Are there limits to the transformation of the body?

For the present, yes. But in the time, no. I am convinced that in two hundred years for example the physical body could be infinitely superior to what it is now — luminous, plastic, enduring, harmonious. . .

And our effort of today would have made it possible.

2.1.1969

With progress in the Yoga of the body, will there be a change in the material environment?

Most certainly a greater harmony will be manifested in the material world, in the same way as the terrestrial appearance has changed much with the advent of the human species.

4.1.1969

In other words, Mother, it can be said that the transformation of the human body, the microcosm, will serve the transformation of the material world, the macrocosm.

Yes, it is an intellectual way of transcribing what is happening.

6.1.1969

Page 67

I do not find any progress towards seeing the Divine everywhere and in everything.

According to the experience of this body, here called Mother, it is first necessary to realise the union with the supreme and transcendent Divine, and after that one is able to find the Divine again in everything, but covered with a veil, more or less thick.

8.1.1969

A confession: I could not yet receive from You the complete realisation of the Divine within myself.

Yes, I know it, nor I am surprised.

Your mind is strong and well organized; it is so to say "the chief of the house". It is very active and has the habit of directing everything. And for having the realisation of the Inner Divine, the mind must fall quiet and hold itself tranquil—at least for a time.

It will come.

10.1.1969

I hope that one day my mind will open above and, if necessary, Mother will dig a hole there.

No hole is necessary. What you need is only silent aspiration and receptivity, turned upwards.

12.1.1969

Page 68

Some hours after writing my last letter I opened "Prayers and Meditations" and here is the first sentence I saw:

"O Lord, deliver me from the mental influences that weigh heavily on me, so that, completely free, I may rush towards Thee."

This is a very good response to your aspiration and indicates to you the process to follow.

14.1.1969

It seems to me, Mother, that if I can aspire to the Divine for the Divine Himself, the way could be shorter.

To aspire to the Divine for the Divine himself and without personal aim is certainly the best and the shortest way —and the surest means to get rid of the ego.

Blessings.

16.1.1969

I have often seen Mother like a column of white light. This month there are furrows of gold.

In fact, from the 1st January a new form of Consciousness has manifested on the earth and one of its characteristics is a golden luminosity; undoubtedly it is this that you see.

18.1.1969

Page 69

The day before yesterday, waiting for my turn to go to You, I saw a white avalanche sliding towards me making me happy. Looking at it I saw a dark point in it. Can this dark point be my ego?

The dark point is obviously the sign of a lack of receptivity somewhere. But it is not necessarily a personal thing.

20.1.1969

I can feel that my mind is on the point of losing its pride and complacence. Is it true, Mother?

Yes, it is true. I have myself found an important change in its attitude, and feel that the conversion will not take long to come.

22.1.1969

Can it be said, Mother, that in this world it is the ego that is the most wily ?

As for deceiving oneself, the ego is certainly very skilful, particularly the mental ego that always finds arguments to prove that it is right.

That is why a scrupulous and integral sincerity turns out to be indispensable.

24.1.1969

My mind knows well that it has to become silent, but it continues its old habit. Obviously it is very dishonest.

Page 70

It is not dishonesty, it is rather weakness, for it has to be very strong in order to dominate the old habit. True silence is a great power.

26.1.1969

That is to say, Mother, that in the silence the mind will find its truth and receive what Mother wants to give it.

In the silence the mind can open to higher regions and get the light of intuition and the consciousness of superman whose power is active in the terrestrial atmosphere. In the silence develops the discernment that allows to distinguish the true from the false.

28.1.1969

Can the mind's silence help in making the nights conscious ?

Certainly yes, because to remember the activities of the night, at the moment of waking up one must hold one's head very immobile and remain quite silent.

If one begins to think. the memory of the dream disappears.

30.1.1969

Is it not the mind that prevents me from abandoning the responsibility for myself?

Page 71

It is not the mind in its faculty of understanding and thinking. It is the ego (mental, vital and physical) that holds on to the responsibility of the life so that it may conform to its egoistic tastes.

1.2.1969

In the work also, Mother, instead of serving the mind, I would Like to be Your faithful and simple servitor.

That is good.

To begin, when you have a decision to take, instead of listening to the mental reasons for and against, keep the silence for a little moment, concentrated in the depths of the heart, and wait for the indication which will come to you from there.

Persist in doing so even if you do not succeed at once, and surely you will receive a certitude in one form or another. The precision grows with the persistence.

3.2.1969

When Your Presence becomes concrete, O Divine Mother, the existence becomes quite different!

This must become a constant fact because the presence is constant.

5.2.1969

Doesn't irritation come from the ego, even when it is justified by the mind?

Page 72

Most certainly. In fact the justification of the mind is exceedingly far from a guarantee of truth.

Irritation is always a sign of incomprehension and narrowness of spirit, both of which are incompatible with the presence of the supreme Consciousness.

7.2.1969

Your Love, O Mother, does not diminish at all when I oppose You with all my obscurity. I have had clear experiences of it.

It is so because it is not a personal love, but divine love which is constant, invariable, above every circumstance and always at the maximum of its activity. Divine love is limitless and unfluctuating. In fact, in each one it is limited only by the incapacity to receive it.

9.2.1969

Man often says that he searches for the Divine but the Divine hides himself.

As for me I find that it is the Divine who searches for me and it is I who hide myself.

(Mother underlined the second para and replied:)

Altogether true. Once one has opened oneself and found the Divine, one sees that He is there always present, always active, a marvel of mercy and solicitude, and that it is our utter foolishness that was not letting us have this perception

.

11.2.1969

Page 73

The time I pass without the true consciousness no longer seems to me to be a life.

In truth it is not a life, it is hardly its appearance and most often a false appearance. But this can be eliminated from the being and replaced by the constant consciousness of the Presence.

13.2.1969

In 1917 Mother spoke of a vertiginous rapidity on the path of Transformation.

Here am I, a big laggard by contrast. What can be my destiny?

Why do you get unquiet over it? Is the Grace not there to remedy all the delays?

The only thing called for is sincerity . . . and it is there.

15.2.1969

With Your Remembrance, Mother, the aspiration becomes more straight and calm.

This is very good. I am here to help and make the task easier.

My blessings are always with you, consciously.

17.2.1969

Page 74

In place of merely understanding the words of Mother, I want to receive that which they contain and which is behind them.

That is possible when the mind knows how to fall quiet, turning in an attentive silence towards the Higher Consciousness.

19.2.1969

This day of Grace, O Mother, I wanted to offer You something worthy, but I found nothing. Perhaps only a pure Pranam.

No material thing can be more valuable than the consecration of a fervent soul. . . and I have received your offering with my blessings.

21.2.1969

In spite of the perception of my imperfections the distant goals no longer discourage me.

For him who has faith discouragement is impossible since he has the certitude of belonging to the Divine and for him union with the Divine is inevitable.

23.2.1969

The Upanishad says :

"He who knows that he is the Supreme Lord,

he becomes That."

Page 75

This knowlede and this becoming, do they come about suddenly or are they progressive?

All is possible.

But rarely does it come about suddenly for it demands subconscious preparation, that is to say without participation of the conscious will.

A long conscious preparation extending sometimes over several lives is a more frequent rule.

25.2.1969

Indeed I would like to have the realisation as soon as possible, but now I am going to leave all this in Mother's hands.

This undoubtedly is the shortest way, because for me conscious union with the Divine is the only thing worth living for.

27.2.1969

I see the growing vigil of the Mother over me and I hope to be Her good child.

It is true that you are opening more and more to the influence and it makes a good and prompt result possible.

In confident surrender lies the certitude of victory.

1.3.1969

Page 76

In the Bulletin Mother has spoken of a body without mind and vital.

That is to say, the body has its own means of living, something different from what is called the vital force or Prana?

It is a rather special case.

The body (in all well developed beings) has a mind and a vital more or less rudimentary which are its particularities and can be fully developed.

In this case there is also, and above all, a psychic fully developed that governs the whole house and directs all action. Moreover, there is the superman-consciousness that has manifested from the beginning of this year and serves as mentor to the body which learns from it things the mind itself did not know.

3.3.1969

The lack of consecration of the Aurovilians and the wastage being done there, has it something to do with the fact that money is not coming for Auroville?

Certainly the attitude of most of them is not favourable to the richness of Auroville and does not create an attractive atmosphere for money.

5.3.1969

Now, Mother, the desire to do something good and new in Your service is replaced by an aspiration to be Your true servitor.

Page 77

I feel you closer and closer, more and more open to the Influence, and I hope that soon you will be fully conscious of the Force penetrating and animating you.

7.3.1969

Everyone criticises the Creator of the universe and it seems that He must be the most criticised one among all the beings. I hope He takes all this with a smile.

The smile is constant. And it is a marvelous smile that has the power to change the worst catastrophes into bliss.

9.3.1969

It is becoming evident that the Divine is more anxious for the progress of the sadhak than what the sadhak himself can be.

This is certain. Even a very ardent aspiration is only a reflection of the triumphal march of the Divine. . . and this in a Perfect Peace!

11.3.1969

"All that transpires on earth and all beyond Are parts of an illimitable plan

The One keeps in his heart and knows alone."¹

He who is united with the Divine, does he know this "plan"?

¹Savitri(1972), p. 52

Page 78

To the extent it is necessary for the execution, yes; and to the extent of the need, but not in its integrality and all at once.

13.3.1969

Often I find that if I criticise some action of others, later I do the same thing and that with justification!

Yes, it is thus that one learns not to criticise. For most often criticism is an incomprehension or a narrowness, and if we want to serve truly that which we have got to be and that which we must do to go near the Supreme Lord and finally to be in conscious union with Him, it is He alone who can teach that to us.

15.3.1969

What man calls "chance", isn't it a play of possibilities of which he is ignorant?

"Chance" is only a label put on that which man does not understand. All is put in form and movement by the Supreme Consciousness which is not outside the creation, but is the Truth and the very substance of the creation.

Without the Supreme Consciousness nothing exists; in It all is.

17.3.1969

Can the Yogi foresee the chance? (Perhaps he is no longer concerned with it!)

Page 79

For the practitioner of the integral Yoga the capacity to foresee the immediate future is a part of the capacities that can be acquired.

But this demands a special attention and all depends on what the Supreme Lord expects of him. Because for the true sadhak it is only this that matters.

Is it the psychic being that knows or can know what the Supreme Lord expects of me?

19.3.1969

Yes, the psychic being has not only the capacity to know but also to realise. The psychic being, much better than the mind and vital, understands the body and knows how to gain its obedience.

21.3.1969

There is a joy in knowing the future, there is also a joy in proceeding on the virgin path, without care, in the Mother's arms!

These two joys are not in the same domain. It is the mind that enjoys knowing the future and it is the psychic that is at ease in the attitude of confident abandonment.

23.3.1969

It is not always easy to distinguish between inner indication, instinct and-intuition.

Page 80

Generally they are not perceived in the same part of the being.

Intuition is perceived when the mind is altogether tranquil, the brain, so to say, is immobile like a blank page turned upwards.

Inner indication is generally seen deep at the top of the solar plexus, and the instinct surges either from the navel-region, or at the top of the neck which is usually the place of relation with others and the outer world.

However, to be able to make this distinction clearly, there are needed the calm and a great habitual tranquility.

25.3.1969

Now I can feel that Mother is with me during my sleep although I am still unconscious of it.

It may be that during the sleep something within you is conscious of my presence, but the memory is not transferred to the consciousness of the waking.

27.3.1969

May I melt in You!

Yes — in peace, immensity, silence and harmony. . . With my blessings.

29.3.1969

Mother has said, "The remedy is at the centre of the ill."

Page 81

Is it so because the Divine is at the centre of all?

Yes.

And if we know how to go always to the deep centre of our difficulty, we find there the supreme remedy.

31.3.1969

As soon as some demand or expectation enters into love, does not love disappear?

Divine love in its purity is sufficient to itself and is eternal. But as soon as it manifests on the earth it is mixed with all the egoistic movements of the mind, vital and body. . . Thus it is veiled and deformed beyond all recognition. What men call love is a sad caricature of the essential love, the Divine love.

2.4.1969

Since some days when I go to sleep, often I sense the Presence of Sri Aurobindo and Mother at the head of the bed.

For me it is an act of Grace.

I am always there and these days Sri Aurobindo has been actively present. What is an effect of the Grace is that your consciousness is awakened to the fact of this presence.

4.4.1969

Page 82

The recalcitrant parts oppose You with their persistent obscurity but, no doubt, it is for Your victory that I want to collaborate.

There is a region of Consciousness where opposition no longer exists—every movement makes part of the great play and collaborates for the supreme realisation.

6.4.1969

The more I lose myself the more I find You.

But when you will be altogether lost you will find your true self, that which lives eternally.

8.4.1969

In the case of profound things the true understanding often comes when I do not try to understand.

It is always the mind that tries to understand — the outer and superficial things it can understand and even explain — but the profound things it does not understand; they belong to another domain, to a higher and purer light. It is only when the mind is silent that this Consciousness wakes up in us, and it understands.

10.4.1969

Is it preferable for me to continue to have fixed hours of meditation ?

Page 83

Usually fixed hours are recommended with the idea that the outer nature should get habituated to it and thus offer less resistance.

But my experience has been different. I have had the experience that the true concentration imposes itself at the desired moment and that when one obeys this inner inspiration, the contemplation, the concentration and even the meditation which is an exclusively mental phenomenon, are of a very superior quality and much less mechanical.

12.4.1969

From today I stop having fixed hours of meditation. I aspire to live more and more in the true consciousness at Your feel. . .

It is good.

Yesterday I asked this Consciousness what was the condition required to be able to receive it without deforming it. It replied, "One must be able to stand in the light of the Supreme Consciousness without casting a shadow." This means the absence of ego.

14.4.1969

Now I can see the play of my ego in those reactions where I saw before the ego of others.

This is a great progress and considerably facilitates this inner equality which is indispensable to the yoga.

16.4.1969

Page 84

In the context of what happened on the first of January the following lines of "Savitri" become significant: "The superman shall wake in mortal man And manifest in hidden demi-god

Or grow into the God-light and God-force Revealing the secret deity in the cave."¹

Yes, undoubtedly this is what is going to happen.

18.4.1969

Isn't disinterested self-giving basically a movement of divine Love?

Certainly yes, and it is also the best means to melt into the Divine and become identified with Him.

20.4.1969

Aren't self-consecration and self-renunciation two aspects of a single movement?

They are indissolubly tied, but almost always one of them precedes the other which follows like a logical consequence.

The movement attains its perfection when the separate self disappears melted in the Supreme and only the Divine Consciousness exists animating the innumerable bodies.

22.4.1969

¹ Savrtri(1972), p. 705-6

Page 85

Yes

Your mind is capable of transformation.

It should first silently open upwards to receive the Light of the Supreme Consciousness.

Then, remaining peaceful and plastic, it has to let this Light penetrate in all the intellectual activities and mould them according to the Truth.

I expect it to be so.

24.4.1969

For me now the prayer is more a means to open myself than to make me heard.

It is sure that the Supreme Lord knows better than we know what we think, what we want and what we need. One tells this to Him not to make it known to Him but to offer oneself to Him as totally as one can.

26.4.1969

The duration of the separation no longer disturbs me. Is it my indifference? I do not know.

It is not indifference. The certitude of accomplishment gives the patience to wait for the time necessary for its realisation.

It is in the peace of this certitude that things go fastest.

28.4.1969

Page 86

What should be the sadhak's attitude towards the wasted past to which, no doubt, most of the present moments go on adding?

We cannot get rid of the ties binding us to the world of ignorance entirely and at one stroke.

But the Grace is there to comfort us, and we should have a total confidence in its action. And if we turn constantly towards the Supreme Consciousness while being exclusively receptive towards It, we are doing all that is in our power to do.

30.4.1969

When I see the fall in my consciousness, if I remain tranquil the little inner flame shows up and the normal condition returns quickly.

Yes, to remain tranquil is in fact the best way to let the Consciousness do its work.

2.5.1969

Instead of asking for Your Blessing for that which seems good to me, I want to be capable of knowing Your will and obeying it.

Yes, it is very good.

When one asks for something it is the Grace that answers and grants; and one progresses if one is grateful. But if one aspires without asking, it is the Supreme Consciousness

Page 87

that hears and answers immediately by the most favourable conditions for the most rapid integral progress.

4.5.1969

May I be like a new-born in the Mother's arms!

All individual consciousnesses are like babies in the infinite arms of the Supreme Consciousness. Only there is a great difference between those who know it and those who do not.

For to know it brings a wonderful joy which transforms the whole existence with the sense of the Liberation.

6.5.1969

It seems to me, Mother, that my nights are not negative any more.

Yes—a time comes when the night prepares the progress of the tomorrow, or utilises the progress of the day before.

8.5.1969

Mental conceptions of the Divine no longer satisfy me, I would like to live in the Divine.

Yes, that is the only way to know him.

It is also the best way to surmount one's ego definitively.

10.5.1969

Page 88

Aspiration with no demands is becoming more and more interesting.

Little by little the cells of the physical body have a constant élan that can be translated thus:

"Whatever You want Lord, whatever You want."

Without trying to know what it will be, without desire or preference of any kind, the body says in all sincerity:

"I will know what You want me to know.

I will be what You want me to be.

I will do what You want me to do. . .

in peace, light and joy."

13.5.1969

Are the conditions now more favourable for the Yoga of the body ?

Since the time that this new consciousness is working on the earth, it is certainly helping powerfully the Yoga of the body. But even now it is not an easy thing and it demands that the body be neither tender nor timid, and of course that it be without desire.

15.5.1969

What should be the first step in the Yoga of the body?

Perfect adherence to the Higher Will.

17.5.1969

Page 89

Once the aspiration is awakened in the body, will the body show for it the same persistence that we see in its physical movements ?

For that the body is marvellous. As soon as the cells aspire consciously for union with the Divine, this aspiration becomes constant, and if this aspiration is expressed by a mantra, it is spontaneously and constantly that the cells repeat the mantra as an invocation.

19.5.1969

Will the body receive its mantra in time, spontaneously?

It is good if the mantra surges forth spontaneously with the simplicity of a child's call—2 or 3 words with rhythmic repetition.

If it does not come spontaneously, the body can repeat the mantra which your mind has chosen.

21.5.1969

There is a very vague perception of a fantastic possibility: it is that one day the body could physically feel itself one with all existence.

This is just the experience that this physical body (which is reading and writing here) is in course of having progressively. And I find it interesting that you came to know something of it without my ever having told you anything about it.

23.5.1969

Page 90

I will be glad to say farewell to the mental "wisdom ".

Persist in your aspiration and it will surely happen. And the "wisdom" of the Supreme Consciousness is so much more marvellous!

25.5.1969

What will be my fortune if the Mother gives me a new birth every morning!

If you mean by "new birth" an opening of the consciousness on the innumerable inner fields yet unexplored, that is possible on the condition that your thirst for progress be ardent and sustained. For that you must come to me in the morning in a state of aspiration but passive and receptive and, if possible, devoid of thought.

27.5.1969

Even when the aspiration is not formulated, the Mother's reply is there. . .

Often that which is expressed without words is clearer and more precise than all the spoken or written words.

29.5.1969

Contrary to the current notions, the more the aspiration is ardent, the more it brings its own calm.

Page 91

It is in perfect mental immobility that the aspiration is most ardent, like a flame that rises all straight without a puff of air to make it waver.

5.6.1969

The light of gold is becoming a splendid rain around the Mother!

It is the new Consciousness ready to help all those who are ready to listen to it.

7.6.1969

My ego's reactions, produced constantly, make a veil between me and the Truth.

9.6.1969

This is inevitable and has to be thwarted by a continuous and vigilant action.

And the cure is brought about by the Grace.

God created this world of ignorance for His joy. Why then disturb Him by the Yoga?

You make of this God a personage, quite personal and arbitrary.. . such is not the Truth.

But to continue in the same spirit, one can say more truly that God created the world for the individuals to return consciously towards Him. And then the Yoga becomes imperative.

11.6.1969

Page 92

There are parts of my being for which surrender is becoming a thing of joy.

True surrender is profoundly happy and joyous because with it comes the sensation of the infinite and of the luminous and eternal peace.

13.6.1969

Is it possible to melt in You {like Pavitra, the last night of his life) and still continue to live?

No, it is not possible for it is the totality of his soul that entered.

But a part of the being, an emanation can do it, if the aspiration is enough.

15.6.1969

My obstinate ego deserves a lightning-strike from the Mother. . .

The Grace does not punish, it cures.

17.6.1969

I want to learn to face insults with a smile.

That is quite easy when one is convinced that only the Divine knows the Truth and that human opinions have nothing of true worth.

19.6.1969

Page 93

Mother has given me a place at Her feet, this is my great safety. . .

Yes, it is true.

And sincerity in consecration is of all securities the greatest.

21.6.1969

Perhaps the small "I" will get dissolved in the aspiration to be what You want.

Certainly, this is what will happen to it one day and perhaps even without its knowing it.

Often it happens like an enlargement, a blossoming in the Light.

23.6.1969

To be what the Mother wants, isn't this to be transformed?

Unquestionably:

For all, to prepare themselves for this transformation For some, to begin the work of transformation For a very small number, to hasten the process of transformation.

25.6.1969

The Mother's patience is so infinite that she can be accused of slowness!

Page 94

And yet the work of transformation goes as fast as it can; there are even a number of persons who cannot follow it and are thrown out of balance.

But usually the notion of time is based for man on his bodily existence which is terribly short.

27.6.1969

One day, if it interests you, I will explain what should be the true role and true place of money.

Yes, Mother, I pray to You to explain the true role and place of money.

In a truer world, towards the realisation of which the creation is moving, money has to be one of the terrestrial forces placed at the disposal of the Divine Consciousness for its work on earth.

The first step towards this realisation is the abolition of the sense of ownership. Each one is the user and distributor of the money at his disposal—and this leads naturally to the next step: Those who have the truest and vastest vision and knowledge have to become these distributors and users.

The processes to arrive at this result should be elaborated and put into execution in accordance with the need and possibilities.

29.6.1969

Isn't the sense of ownership an attribute of the ego?

Page 95

The sense of ownership is surely a manner of being natural to the ego, but in spite of his blindness man has not the sense of ownership for the air he breathes, the water of the river or the falling rain.

1.7.1969

If the Mother has the time I can note down my financial situation in four or five pages of this note book. I want to act according to the Truth.

Very good, I will find time to read it.

3.7.1969

Thoughts and personal will do not let me live spontaneously.

One day the Supreme Lord will take up the conscious direction.

7.7.1969

I would like to do sadhana as a child of the Mother.

For me the sadhana consists of loving the Divine more and more integrally, more and more absolutely, with a love so total that it leads to the identification.

9.7.1969

Page 96

My offerings to Mother are still not free from the T sense that it is I who offer.

Perhaps because that way they give me more pleasure.

11.7.1969

What is the secret of Your constant and invariable smile?

Constant contact with the Supreme Lord.

13.7.1969

If I could let the past fall off like an old robe, I could be a new-born. . .

Try to concentrate your consciousness on the Divine Presence which is a concrete fact, and the past will get effaced of itself quite naturally.

15.7.1969

Little by little the desire of realisation is changing into an aspiration.

Here is a very good thing. Now the advance can be very swift.

18.7.1969

Page 97

The golden light is becoming more and more lovable in spite of all my obscurity.

It comes to make us conscious of our absurdity and to cure us of it. So it is natural that its very presence makes us more and more conscious of our absurdity and there remains only one step to take to cure us of it for good.

21.7.1969

Can we hope that the new consciousness that descended on the 1st of January will do in the field of Yoga what the astronauts are in the course of doing in the scientific field?

What the astronauts have just done on the moon is surely a wonderful accomplishment of calculation, endurance and courage, but they are a child's realisations in comparison to what the new Consciousness is in course of accomplishing on the earth and which will lead to the creation of the superman.

23.7.1969

Time presses but there is no inquietude.

As soon as the consciousness of eternity is attained, what would have otherwise taken many a year can be accomplished in some moments.

25.7.1969

Page 98

I am Your spoilt child...

You have capacity, aspiration and sincerity. With these three qualities success is sure, and if one adds patience and intensity to them, time is no longer important.

27.7.1969

The prayer "Whatever You will" seems to solve the problems better than specific prayers.

This, according to my experience, is the prayer that gives the best attitude in every circumstance.

29.7.1969

Sometimes, Mother, the Light becomes physically visible.

It is probable that this is a phenomenon that will take place more and more frequently.

31.7.1969

I am convinced that the Mother's Light is more powerful than my obscurity.

Leaving personalities aside, we can say with certainty that the divine Light is definitely more powerful than human obscurity.

2.8.1969

Page 99

Does Durga's lion represent the Divine Power over adverse forces?

It can be understood that way.

But in the vital there is a lion very much alive who is very often near me and whom several persons have often seen. He is evidently not an animal though having an animal appearance symbolic of his royal strength.

4.8.1969

The pleasure of possession now appears like dust in front of self-giving.

The pleasure of possession is a purely vital and physical thing which, to the extent that the inner being is developed and the consciousness is enlarged, gets replaced by the sense of judicious employment and becomes a clear vision of the true use of all things.

6.8.1969

I understand that the true use of things depends on the loss of the sense of ownership and on the growth of consciousness.

The sense cf ownership belongs to the ego, and when the ego disappears the sense of ownership is replaced by the correct vision of the true use of each thing (money or object) and it remains only to act according to what one sees.

8.8.1969

Page 100

When Mother is late for the breakfast I say to myself "The Divine likes to be late in all things!"

Rather will it not be that for the Divine time does not exist, or in any case, has not the same value that man gives it.

12.8.1969

One day, enveloped by Your Presence, the ego can get dissolved. . . isn't it, Mother?

Yes, certainly.

I have also seen cases where it gets converted and transformed.

14.8.1969

I prostrate myself before Sri Aurobindo and Mother in one single movement.

Yes, it is true that Sri Aurobindo is always present.

16.8.1969

Doesn't my ego deserve a frontal assault?

I do not feel so. Your ego seems to me to be mental above all, with some rather fixed ideas. But with the growth of consciousness this will disappear.

18.8.1969

Page 101

I hope Mother has already cured persons whose mind was more resistant than mine.

Don't torment yourself—the resistance of your mind is not so big, and moreover the Supreme Lord's Grace is infinite.

20.8.1969

Without the disappearance of the ego my true life with You does not begin.

The best way to make it disappear is to enlarge it to the dimension of the universe. You can do it without violence but with a tranquil persistence.

I am with you in your effort.

22.8.1969

The mind seems to recognise the need to yield to the higher light.

Yes, it is visible; there are good reasons to hope that its transformative conversion will not take long to happen.

24.8.1969

I am going to lose the desire to be useful to Mother.

Page 102

You have only to replace the desire by the will to be useful and the clear consciousness of how to be most useful; because I need you for my work.

Blessings.

26.8.1969

I depend on the Mother for moulding me according to Her Will.

It is the Supreme Lord's Consciousness that will do the work in all the details, forgetting nothing, and upto its perfection.

28.8.1969

Now I feel the importance of being desireless.

The agitation of the vibrations of desire disturbs the receptivity and makes one incapable of seeing the vibrations of divine will that can be seen only in calm and silence.

30.8.1969

Will the Unmanifest not be always greater than the manifestation?

If one conceives that the manifestation is eternal, it is unquestionable.

1.9.1969

Page 103

Can the manifestation come to its dissolution, its Pralaya?

A very old tradition, more ancient than the Vedas, says that the present manifestation is the seventh, the six preceding ones having been followed by six pralayas, but this one will get transformed perpetually, without return to the Creator.

3.9.1969

Perhaps the old tradition had foreseen the supra-mentalisation in the seventh manifestation with its eternal transformation.

It had foreseen not only the supramentalisation of Matter, but also the appearance of the new species that must succeed man and be immortal.

5.9.1969

The mental light no longer seems a light before the sun.

If by "sun" you mean the super mind, it is unquestionable.

But all physical lights, even the light of the sun, appear as obscure to an inner vision.

7.9.1969

Page 104

The physical light does not hide itself, but the supra-mental Light which is greater can hide itself. It is a mystery for man.

The physical eyes are not made to see the supramental light, that is why they cannot see it. But that human being whose inner senses are awakened, can see the supramental light when he wants so — it never hides itself.

9.9.1969

What are the conditions to be fulfilled to be able to see the supramental light?

To be in conscious contact with it. The supramental vision develops quite naturally with the supramental Consciousness.

11.9.1969

I hope that it is the Grace that makes me want to go in speed.

The Grace responds always to a sincere aspiration and favours its realisation even when .the appearances are deceptive.

18.9.1969

On 11 January 1914 Mother had written,

"I know that a day will come when Thou wilt

transform all those who come to us.

Page 105

I find an echo of it in what Mother has said on 18 January 1969 about the descent of the new conscious-

"It was there. . .it is curious, it is as if I was charged with putting it in rapport with all those who will come to me."

Indeed I was not remembering at all what I had written a bit prophetically in 1914.

And my only reply is:

The Lord's Grace is infinite.

20.9.1969

"As one climbs peak after peak,

appears all that remains to be done."

Perhaps the Rig-Veda speaks here of endless progression ?

Most certainly the spiritual wisdom existed for a small number in that epoch.

22.9.1969

In "Last Poems" Sri Aurobindo shows the relation

between the Transcendent and the Cosmos:

"My vast transcendence holds the cosmic whirl,

I am hid in it as in the sea a pearl."

What an experience!. . .

24.9.1969

Page 106

Is it the mind that has deprived man of the simplicity of flowers?

It is unquestionable, but the vitals' desires are also there for something.

26.9.1969

When

"The eyes of mortal body plunge their gaze

Into Eyes that look upon Eternity",

one finds there his native land!

That is to say the Divine origin.

It is true. You are becoming a poet in your expression.

28.9.1969

What have I to do so that the Mother takes direct charge of the sadhana?

I have already taken direct charge of the sadhana, but if you want that I express it in words, it is necessary to ask me precise, practical questions, not mental and speculative.

30.9.1969

I want to learn to retain in its entirety what Mother gives me.

Page 107

The best way to receive that allows to hold, is to abandon oneself passively. If you can make that movement when you are before me, things will go faster.

2.10.1969

I see more and more the necessity of mental silence, but it is a difficult thing for me.

You are not the only one to find it difficult. For more than four years I tried to get it without total result, and it is Sri Aurobindo who gave it to me definitively in 1914 in half an hour. Persevere and you will get it.

4.10.1969

If my mind becomes more sincere, will it collaborate for its silence?

If it understands the immense advantage of silence that allows to receive the inspiration from higher regions, then it will collaborate with joy.

6.10.1969

Towards the heights,

always towards the heights,

I accept the call.

This is good.

And the response is certain.

Page 108

Oh, the sweetness of the possibility of remaining always "on the Mother's knees where the soul sees".

So it be.

It is the privilege of those who have made their surrender to the Divine and who want to live according to the Truth.

10.10.1969

The Divine knocks at the door but I sleep.

Receive Him in the dream,

and He will awaken you.

12.10.1969

I feel that it is in my passivity towards the Mother that the true activity will begin.

In truth, to know how to be passive in regard to the Divine Consciousness is the great secret of transformation.

14.10.1969

The more the Mother frees me from desires, the more the life becomes simple.

Most certainly, it is desires that complicate the existence and are the cause of most of the sufferings. One can even say that they are at the base of all the dramas, or nearly so.

16.10.1969

Page 109

Opening at random the book "The Mother", I found this sentence:

"Let your sincerity and surrender be genuine and entire."

I take this as a demand and a blessing at the same time.

It is good.

And the result is sure.

Blessings.

18.10.1969

The mental noise is no longer a pleasant thing to me.

This is the time to make it quiet and to enjoy the joy and peace of silence.

20.10.1969

The day before yesterday when Mother was giving me the flower "Mental Prayer" I did not know its significance and felt that Mother was giving me receptivity!

That is very good. For, in fact, when the mind begins to pray the true way, it becomes receptive swiftly and more and more.

22.10.1969

What is the true manner of doing mental prayer?

Page 110

Mental prayer is formulated in words, and when it receives its inspiration from above the formulation becomes artistic and powerful by its beauty; sometimes it has even the power of an invocation.

24.10.1969

The mind is very active now, but with a difference— II is no longer pleased with itself.

It is in the silence of a complete identification with the Divine that true understanding is gained.

26.10.1969

For all that I have to realise, Your Grace, O Divine Mother, is my refuge.

The Grace is with you and will take you to the goal. Blessings.

28.10.1969

To be useful to Mother I feel the necessity of being more open to Her.

When you came to me this morning, you said this to me in silence, and I replied to you that with this aspiration it is enough for you to remain attentive and in all circumstances you will feel what is the right thing to do.

Page 111

With a little practice it can become quite clear and precise.

Blessings.

30.10.1969

It seems that I will bring this notebook less often and try to receive in silence and absorb that which will come from Mother.

Yes, you must try to receive in silence the solution of problems. Then if the solution comes, you could write the problem and the answer to know if it is correct; or if no answer has been received the problem alone could be sent to know if I can resolve it.

Blessings.

1.11.1969

Mother told me once again that She will take me to the heights, beyond.

It is a settled matter, isn't it true?

The only thing indispensable is a constant aspiration.

Blessings.

3.11.1969

The day before yesterday, Mother, when I was before You I felt the presence of Ganesh behind me.

Page 112

This is very good. Ganesh is an old friend who had promised me long long ago that he would supply the needs of the Ashram, and kept his word for years (when Sri Aurobindo was physically here). It is a good sign that he came when you were here.

5.11.1969

Yesterday from midday to midnight I had fever; I had had a warning of it the day before yesterday, but I could not prevent it.

If you had informed me when you knew that you were going to have fever, perhaps it would not have come.

7.11.1969

From some time I feel that Mother is going to open a new door but She awaits "something"from my side. Did Mother tell me in silence that this "something" is the progress that consists of silencing the mind?

In fact, when you sit before me and I put upon you the Supreme Consciousness, often and particularly these last days, I begin by recommending the holding of your mind as tranquil and silent as you can, because that is the best means to increase receptivity and to open to the action of the Higher Force.

10.11.1969

Page 113

You have often granted me, O Divine Mother, what I wanted. Now I pray to You to grant only what you want, what You want.

Total and constant contact with the Divine Consciousness. It is towards this that I am working for you.

12.11.1969

Is it the obstinacy of my mind that gave me the fever?

The obstinacy of the mind is undoubtedly at the origin, but the immediate cause is a resistance of the body to the Force of transformation which is at work this moment.

18.11.1969

I am less interested in the outer cure of my cough than in profiting inwardly by it.

It is obvious that if you discover the psychological reason of the cough, that is to say what in your physical or vital being resists the penetration of the Divine Force in your body, not only will you have profited from the illness for making a big progress, but also, the body itself will begin the long work of transformation.

Blessings.

Did Mother give me a red coat yesterday during the Darshan ?

Page 114

During the Darshan I give to everyone what he needs and everyone gets according to his receptivity. A red coat can be the symbol of a physical protection because I want your body to be solid and in good health.

25.11.1969

The Divine is so near and so far at the same time!

In fact He is constantly with us, but it is only when the body-cells open to His influence and perceive His Presence that we begin to be truly conscious of Him and His unceasing action.

27.11.1969

The alternations of light and darkness, what a play! But there is no longer inquietude.

The alternations, the contraries, the oppositions have been the great means employed by Nature to awaken the inconscient to consciousness and the inertia to movement of progress. When inconscience and inertia would have disappeared, the alternations will no longer be necessary.

29.11.1969

Can the individual rise above the alternations of light and darkness while the universal inconscience and inertia exist?

Page 115

Not only can he rise there, but even a part of his consciousness can stay there in a permanent way. It is this that gives the faculty to be in conscious rapport with the Supreme.

1.12.1969

May I not be disloyal to the sacrifice made by Sri Aurobindo for the earth!

For his consciousness it was not a sacrifice.

The earth was not yet ready to draw the biggest profit from his physical presence.

His help is always there, conscious and active. He has said that he will come back in the first supramental body.

5.12.1969

Very rarely can I see You in dreams.

If you "dream" in the vital or mental, there is little chance that you will meet me there.

If your dreams are in the subtle physical, there you could meet me because I often work there in the night.

7.12.1969

Is it possible to dream at will in the subtle physical in order to meet you there?

All is possible. It is only a question of inner development and of the necessary discipline to achieve it.

Page 116

The control of the activities of the night is very interesting, and has very effective results for the integral development of the being; but it is a work that demands much patience and regularity. Sometimes years are needed to learn what happens during one's sleep; because to conserve a good health one must not take the risk of disturbing the sleep by an ill-timed activity.

I advise you for the moment to do only a little concentration before you sleep, with an aspiration to meet me there in the night.

We will see what happens.

Blessings.

9.12.1969

The lower nature aided by my vital prevents me from enlarging myself. And the ego smiles.

Let it smile.

The day of its defeat will surely come and, may be, sooner than you think.

11.12.1969

The work I do has begun to leave me two free hours, from 1.30 to 3.30. How to utilise them?

It is an excellent hour for reading, meditating and entering little by little in a receptive silence which allows the Higher Consciousness to enter the body to transform it.

13.12.1969

Page 117

I find that after the recent fever I sleep more; this I don't like.

Since the arrival of the new Consciousness on earth the sleep seems to have acquired a special utility for letting it work on the body. So you must not get disturbed by it; it is the mind that does not like the sleep.

But when the body learns to sleep consciously in an attitude of "surrender" to the Divine, much useful work can be done during the sleep.

15.12.1969

Sometimes, Mother, even the body takes a joy in the words, "Only You".

This is good.

It does not surprise me for I know that your very body is in the course of progressing.

17.12.1969

Is the Yogi's sleep without dreams?

They are no longer dreams. They are visions and activities in worlds that are invisible for the physical consciousness.

19.12.1969

May my whole being become a straight line towards You, Divine Mother!

Page 118

En route towards integral transformation.

21.12.1969

I find that if I complain against the Divine I am always wrong.

Certainly, it is rather better to try to understand than complain!

When something does not go well, it is always to show us where we have to make a progress.

23.12.1969

I see that he who criticises me is a good friend of my progress, but I see this after having a first disagreeable reaction.

Provided that you see it and know to profit by it, that is all that is needed.

25.12.1969

When the mind is engaged in things that are useless according to itself, it is pitiable.

There also, if it has the right attitude, it can learn and progress. When we have understood that all that comes to us in life comes to us from the Supreme Lord to make us learn to live, nothing is useless any more. It is our attitude that changes and becomes enlightened.

27.12.1969

Page 119

The plans drawr by the mind are losing their charm, but that which should replace them is not yet there.

The indications of the Higher Consciousness do not come in advance, but as and when needed.

It is almost at every minute that one knows what has to be done, and this is why those who have the mental habit of making plans long in advance find that to obey the Divine is something very difficult.

But it is simply a question of habit and of inner attitude which has to be very peaceful and attentive.

29.12.1969

It is with gratitude to You, O Mother, that I say farewell to this year.

And as for me, I say, give good welcome to the new year that brings with it a new decade and an intensification of the work of the superman Consciousness.

With my blessings for a Happy New Year.

31.12.1969

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