Mother's Chronicles - Book Three

30

The Inner Divine

She hugged her pain.

"I was thinking of nothing but that: concentrating -concentrating, as though I were sitting in front of a closed door, and it hurts!" Mother touched her breast in a poignant gesture. "For months on end, sometimes years, you may be sitting before a closed door, push-push-pushing, and feeling, feeling the pressure —it hurts! —and there's nothing, no results."

Mother said. "When I met Theon and came to understand the mechanism, I also understood why I wasn't conscious at that level. I think I told you how I spent ten months of a year working between two layers — two layers of consciousness — because the contact wasn't established. There was a whole gamut of things that I didn't get spontaneously, because the contact wasn't established.

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"Theon had explained to me, 'You have all your states of being one inside the other in the fourth dimension; you only lack a very small step.'

"So I asked him, 'What's to be done?'

"He told me, 'You have to develop it.'

"He told me. I did it."

But she worked at it "day after day, day after day, for one year" to bridge that gap. It was the sole object worth living for.

"You see," Mother said to Satprem, "Madame Theon had told me, and I knew what my mission on earth was, and all that —that's telling you —she told me, 'there's an undeveloped layer between this part and that part.'

"So I was exclusively concentrated on that." Her concentration was like a brooding hen. Unknown to her the time for the hatching of the egg was near.

"I was in Paris. One day as I was crossing the Boulevard Saint-Michel, I was almost run over. I had resolved to attain union with the psychic presence, the inner Divine within a certain number of months, and these were the last weeks. I was thinking of nothing but that, engrossed in that alone. Every day I spent

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some time in the Luxembourg Gardens. They were near the house, but to get there I had to go all the way up Rue du Val de Grace and cross Boulevard Saint-Michel, where there were trams and cars and buses —the whole circus." That evening she was going there for a stroll when, still indrawn, she "came to a kind of intersection —not a very sensible place to cross when you are interiorized! Then, in that state, I

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started to cross when, all of a sudden, I felt a shock, as if I had been hit by something, and I instinctively jumped back. As I jumped back a tram rushed by. I had felt the tram at a little more than arm's length. It had touched my aura, the protective aura; the aura was very strong at the time —I was deep into occultism and knew how to maintain it. My protective aura was touched, and it literally threw me backwards, just as a physical shock would have done.

"Accompanied by the driver's insults!

"I leapt back just in time, and the tramway passed by."

And she went on working, "absolutely without any result. It was all the same to me, I just continued. And then —I used to tell myself, "Well, perhaps I'll need some fifty years to arrive at something, I don't know.' Only, I never had doubts. Simply, I used to think, 'How very stupid of me, I don't know how to do it.' I was living in Paris. Come summer, I went on holiday. I left for the country. I went to some friends', who had an estate by the sea. There was a small wood, an extensive meadow, it was pretty. And after lunch, I go and lie down on the grass, I lie down on

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the grass, pfft! there was a sort of inner explosion

—the link was established. Full consciousness came, along with all the ensuing experiences. All —from the air, from the earth, from the water, from everything

—all came. What I wanted to have, all-all came just like that. Suddenly. Like that. Effortlessly. The result of ten months of work.

"So I told myself, 'That's good, it has served some purpose!"

The gap was bridged. "It opened. And with that ... It didn't just last for hours, my child, it lasted for months! It didn't leave me, that light, that dazzle, that light and that immensity. And the sense was: That wills, That knows, That rules the whole life, That guides everything. Since then, it has never left me for a minute. And always, whenever I had to make a decision, I would simply stop for a second and receive the indication from there."

*

* *

"The dates? I am no good at dates!" exclaimed Mother with her habitual frankness, when Satprem

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asked her to situate this event. But she did recall a pointer. "The realization of the inner Divine, that's when I started writing my Meditations."

Her meditations were published in book form under the title Prayers and Meditations. And the first few lines of the very first 'meditation' that has come down to us, dated 2

"Although my whole being is in theory consecrated to Thee, O Sublime Master, who art the life, the light and the love in all things, I still find it hard to carry out this consecration in detail. It has taken me several weeks to learn that the reason for this written meditation, its justification, lies in the very fact of addressing it daily to Thee. In this way I shall put into material shape each day a little of the conversation I have so often with Thee. ..."

*

* *

Thus, a great chapter in Mirra's life was completed. What anyone else would have considered to be the fulfilment of his or her existence, was but a chapter in hers.

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"But not for self alone the self is won: Content abide not with one conquered realm; Adventure all to make the whole world thine."¹

That is what Mirra was going to do.

Europe had given Mirra of her best, indeed, all she could give. The most solid foundation for the work Mirra had to do.

Mirra was going to meet the 'Krishna' of her visions.

1. Sri Aurobindo, Savitri, VII, VI.

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