Wednesday, January 8, 2020

The audacity of my quest scares me sometimes.
The speed with which- one by one - EVERYTHING becomes inadequate...false...
Even the Highest.

The victory never won

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Even if it looks like all those martyrs of freedom died for the end of a regime, truth is : It was men dying for the end of MAN.
True homage to the sacrifice of those men can only be a paid by ending the human reign.

For true freedom is ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Monday, January 13, 2020

I am impatient...I am unforgiving...
Because I carry in me the weight of History.
It. Has. Been. So. Long.
And we are STILL here..

Friday, January 31, 2020

Stalin had once said to De Gaulle: " In the end there is only one victor, DEATH."

The devil can also speak the profoundest of Truths.

Saturday, February 1, 2020

It appears as if the Divine has to simulate horror because man does not find his usual life horrendous enough.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

“All these past lives, disgusting and unhappy; glorified and disastrous- they simply give you the desire and courage to make sure that such things may NEVER happen again.
What can it mean to me....that I was XYZ; it's just another death with suffering”
- S.

I did not think that one day I would reach this stage too- after all that ardour with which I used to seek my past lives-now- it has dropped off so effortlessly.

Monday, February 17, 2020

“I would not have done anything to save this world, but I will do everything to force another one to be born.
I feel perfectly humanist, and at the same time, perfectly offended by humankind as it is.” - S.

It's a wonder how a being can embody such deep contempt and such profound love for humanity simultaneously.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

I need to live in a place where you are not forced to be a human being.
Anywhere- doing anything - as long as you are not obliged to prance about as this pathetic abnormal creature called Man.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

“Tomorrow's world, which we are trying to build in the silence of our flesh, is not worth the trouble if YESTERDAY we were not able to die for it.” - S.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

“Sri Aurobindo is the greatest Materialist. He searched in matter for the law that could undo human misfortune.” - S.

Words from Hell

Monday, March 16, 2020

Inscription on walls of the Paris Gestapo Chamber.
"My God, I want, All that you want, Because you want it, As you want it, As much as you want it".

Thursday, March 19, 2020

“Lead astray are those who are not sincere enough to want ONE SINGLE THING: the new world.” - S.

The Bitter End....that never ends..

Sunday, March 29, 2020

“When I face the end, I'll face it fighting and when I can't move to fight then I'll just lie down and suffer it to the bitter end.”
- Bobby Sands during his hunger strike.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

The whole of human history is a story of man's undying love for liberty- and a display of supreme courage and heroic sacrifice in pursuit of it.
There is something intrinsic man which just CANNOT accept servitude- and it is ready to throw itself in a perilous and hopeless struggle rather than live with it.

It is appalling to see us now consent to this total and universal slavery- this humiliation of oppression- the indignity of physical suffering- and not even feel the need to fight.
Death is the supreme fascist- and man does not seem to have a problem with it yet.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

What is worse than the human civilisation coming to an end?
Man prancing about as if it is not.

Agenda 1963

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Revolt is useless
AWAKE AND WILL.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Misery! Thy name is humanity.

It’s not that there are not enough revolutionary men.

It is just that most men are not revolutionary enough.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Malraux, on his death bed, had invoked this line in his final hours:
"Now, it is between the two of us".

I think the HUMAN BODY across the universe is having a similar conversation with Death.
A lonely battle playing out amidst an absolutely clueless audience that refuses to admit its impotency- and agitates and froths and lashes in all directions to compensate for it.

Heraclitus

Sunday, April 12, 2020

“Gods are mortal, men immortal, one living the others' death and dying the others' life.

Life has the name of life, but in reality it is death.

Tis not too late to seek a newer world”

To imagine a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher say such things!

Sri Aurobindo, Bande Mataram

Sunday, April 26, 2020

“Revolutionary times demand men who know their own mind and are determined to make it the mind of the nation.”

Thursday, May 7, 2020 (The troubled Covid times)

I think I heard a great Russian revolutionary tell me-
“The truth is, at the end of it all, you too don't really BELIEVE in the possibility of victory.”

A rude shock, but not far off the mark.

Only a tiny part of us really wants to engage in the battle being fought on earth- really struggle and strive for that victory.
We have that perfect onlookers gaze- and nothing more. The one over-bearing thought is just- “Yes, I hope humanity is sufficiently pounded and the 'thing' gets done- but without us having to do much”.

What fine Revolution can be made with such slackened revolutionary will.!

Courage of desperation

Saturday, May 9, 2020

She said in Agenda 1969: "If we aren't capable, the everything has to be done all over again."

To imagine that mankind was incapable of understanding the massive STAKES of the issue.

That sense of desperate urgency that animated Satprem, finds its echo in this revolutionary quote from the 19th century:

“I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation. No! no! Tell a man whose house is on fire to give a moderate alarm; urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present. I am in earnest — I will not equivocate — I will not excuse — I will not retreat a single inch — AND I WILL BE HEARD”.
-William Lloyd Garrison

Thursday, May 14, 2020

I get it- the biggest hinderance- What She calls in the Agenda- CONCENTRIC VIBRATION-instead of being in an infinite eternity, things are seen in relation to oneself.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Max can never be saved until Barbie is saved.

(Ed- Reference to the French resistance hero - Jean Moulin alias Max killed under torture by Nazi executor-Klaus Barbie)

Friday, May 22, 2020

(Ed- Reference to military standoff between India and China.)

The current geo-political situation - the grim battle with oscillations- 'the evil is winning'- 'God is giving them a long rope'- all vain thoughts.

Felt this last night:

We all want falsehood to be defeated without defeating it in our bodies.

It may have worked this way in the past, but this is no longer possible.

No Sri Krishna is going to intervene - and no Shakuni is going to be crushed- at least not in the way we are consciously or subconsciously hoping for.

Friday, May 22, 2020

One must know how to question the most obvious.
- S.

It is like a revolution in each minute!

Sunday, May 24, 2020

There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Lenin used to say.

Weekend Notes

Monday, May 25, 2020

I keep repeating- the MECHANISM of the illusion has to found. At EACH level.

-

That deep anguish in each part of the being- we are so so far from TRUTH.

-

Heard some murmurs from my constellation of dead brothers, though it extended far beyond them. It was a kind of reproach mixed with genuine bafflement- "How much were we able to endure for far less significant causes...and you all.?"

(Ed- The galaxy/constellation of dead brothers is a term the author frequently uses for a cluster of historical figures - Bhagat Singh, Jean Moulin, Bobby Sands and heroes of their kind.)

No escape

Sunday, June 14, 2020

I think the moment of true despair for Jean Moulin when banging his head in the torture chamber to kill himelf -was to realise that DEATH solves NOTHING.

18th June

Thursday, June 18, 2020

“Whatever happens, the flame of resistance must never be extinguished”. - De Gaulle

I can still see this flame sometimes- white-erect and resolute- burning in silence.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

A flash of sudden vision- a semi translucent body....the skin was silvery...gave the impression of something transparent...or rather on way to becoming it.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

I am only grateful that I can TRY to get out of this terrible thing.
The dignity of man is in resisting these brutal forces.-S.

It was a strange feeling today - to lie under the evening sky and suddenly feel as if the cloudy sky is the lid of your tomb. It is the bounds of the prison- the suffocation of being entombed alive.

Agenda 1971

Sunday, July 5, 2020

“To be at every moment as expressive of the Divine Consciousness as one can be. That's the only important thing.”

Sunday, July 5, 2020

“It is only a total surrender that can bear That. One IS at the feet of Sri Aurobindo and Mother- PHYSICALLY.” - S.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

True horror is to not be able to live up to the heroism demanded of you.

The despair then is unbearable.

Monday, August 3, 2020

Strange is the dynamics of the human species-

We cry our hearts out for an immortal life

Yet defend unto death our right to die.

15th August

Saturday, August 15, 2020

I felt for a moment- Today there is such an outpouring flow of Grace and His compassion....Today no leap..NOTHING is impossible...it is just that we are very poor in conceiving our possibilities.

Monday, August 17, 2020

One must be able to UNMASK the Horror.

It is YOU AND YOU ONLY in everything.

Friday, October 2, 2020

"Mad with pity for the world and hence absolutely pitiless"
Sri Aurobindo describing Kali's action.

The world reeling under it at present.

Friday, October 9, 2020

Sometimes in the night during my bedtime reading- the body is gripped by a feeling that is hard to describe- it is not pain...not nausea...something for which no word exists. Just a kind of anguish that grips it entirely and is UNBEARABLE.
I can bear it only for 5-6 seconds after which I break the concentration and writhe in discomfort.

5 seconds!
What poor stamina.

And when I hear all these confident lectures about the coming New World by arm chair experts, I cannot help blurt out- “But Sirs, we cannot bear a new sensation for more than 5 seconds!”

Friday, October 9, 2020

“As long as we live the life we live we will keep dying the death we die.” .

“We lack some basic reality.”

“The Vedic Rishi's would say: Deliver us from the mortal illness of our lives.”-S.

Thursday, November 5, 2020

The new world is within grasp...but you cannot attain it as long as you retain the old way of breathing.
You gasp for air when you connect to it even momentarily.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

We criticise the mind and deride its workings-
Using the mind and its workings.

The mental web is intractable.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Sri Aurobindo's presence in the heart.
With Him here, what is not possible.

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

It is only a beast that can consent to live this existence without rebelling.
And we call ourselves man.