Sri Aurobindo's diary of his yogic practice between 1909 and 1927.
Sri Aurobindo's diary of his yogic practice between 1909 and 1927. This two-volume record of sadhana contains fairly regular entries between 1912 and 1920 and a few entries in 1909, 1911 and 1927. It also contains related materials Sri Aurobindo wrote about his practice of yoga during this period, including descriptions of the seven 'chatusthayas' (groups of four elements), which are the basis of the yoga of the 'Record'.
The record between 11th & 23 Nov. entered on separate sheets. The record was discontinued after the 20th September,1 as often before, because it was found that the habit of miscalculation still persisted, temporary success being mistaken for final fixity etc. None of the siddhis are yet finally perfect. Even the first which is nearest to absolute finality has been disturbed yesterday & has not yet recovered its balance. It is firm in the mass, but not on the surface of the mentality. In the second a temporary perfection, deficient only in faith, abhayam, ishwarabhava, was broken, it is indicated, in order that the dasatya & tapatya buddhi might be combined, taking the place of the old alternation between passive and udasina dasya-buddhi and active egoistic tapas; the combination represents the right Mahakali tapas. As a result the Maheshwari pratistha is more covered than before, & the relapse from rajasic excitement to udasina shanti is no longer entirely permitted. Faith in the rapidity of the Yogasiddhi and in the adeshasiddhi has been shaken by yesterday's movement; even the faith in the Yogasiddhi was temporarily tarnished, though not entirely suspended. The Akasharupa after a half-successful or initially successful attempt to recover its former activity, has fallen back into the crude, rudimentary & disorganised condition from which it was trying to emerge. Lipi is obstructed and only exceptionally legible, though generally intelligible to the perceptions by an imperfect legibility. The faculties of knowledge & power are once more in a state of confusion and the samadhi still unable to organise itself or manifest permanently its previous realisations. The fourth chatusthaya is still in the state of
Page 324
asiddhi. Saundaryabodha is once more obstructed, but rasa, priti & bhoga of the subjective Ananda in outward things seem to hold their own. Internal Ananda is superficially broken up, though still sound at the core.
The guiding vani has now begun to descend consistently from above and manifest in the vijnanabuddhi. Manifestation in the manasabuddhi is henceforth to be discouraged,—not only of the vani, but of the knowledge & power movements. The script is also assuming consistently the same character. This is no new movement, but the culmination of a movement that has long been in progress.
1) Lipi—Intellectual kinesis—ie to be finally discontinued.
2) The samata has now to be based no longer on udasinata but on nati with chanda samánanda (Vani); the sukham is not to be shanta sukham, but chanda sukham, centred therefore in Chandibhava of Mahakali, not in its own chatusthaya, nor on the Maheshwari pratistha. (thought-perception sruti-smriti).
Last night the vijnana-buddhi made a preliminary self-arrangement, which has been disturbed this morning & gives glimpses of itself only through clouds. This vijnanabuddhi has now to arrange its movements in the surya jyotis.
Kamananda has to recover its recurrent activity.
The tapas, active in the lower estate of being in front of a veiled Chit and blind to it or to all but a few illuminations from it mostly ill-directed by the gropings of the manas in the twilight of the manasa buddhi, is in the higher estate of being and must therefore be in this siddhi, first a selected activity of the Chit on the background of the luminous Chit and ultimately a reproduction or cumulative result of the Chit. Henceforward therefore the tapas and the faculties of power, aishwarya, ishita, vashita must be habituated to act on the background of the knowledge, first as the selected activity, then as the cumulative result. Knowledge of the general state of being & of the forces at work in any given Apas is now fairly perfect in wideness (brihat) & in satyam; but the defect of the ritam arises in the attempt of manasabuddhi either as stress of speculation, mental knowledge tapas, (manasasmriti, judgment, imagination, memory working on observation & by inference) or
Page 325
as stress of mental will-tapas to select the event or the decisive force out of the Sat & the Tapas. Henceforth the tapas must act on the basis of the vijnanabuddhi eliminating the remnants of mental tapas of will & knowledge.
The full asamata is once more manifest in the system, with duhkham, and the authority of the sources of knowledge is denied; conflicting assertions are once more proceeding from the vani.
Afternoon.. The old form of samata with dhairyam & persistency in the tapas, but with no faith or pure ananda in the upper layer of the mentality, has been established; the Mahakali tapas is in abeyance. The present occasion therefore presents all the features of the old relapses into asiddhi. The only things that have hitherto held firm are some of the incomplete siddhis, eg vyaptiprakamya, physical ananda etc.
Sarvasaundaryabodha struggles to reestablish itself, but is only partially successful. On the other hand there is complete rasagrahana &, except with regard to human faces, rasapriti & rasabhoga of physical vishayas. Sravana has been a little lowered in the surety & completeness of its bhoga, but not substantially.
The Shakti is now strengthening the yuddhananda and parajayananda in the system, as it was through the insufficiency of this ananda that the collapse of these two days was effected. The Mahakali tapas is once more repossessing the system.
In the evening strong akasharupa of all types, but in one rupa (cards), the lifelike forms instantaneous & unstable. Strong aishwarya. Exact trikaldrishti more frequent than formerly and error less extensive.
Faith is not yet restored, nor is the disorder in the system yet righted; touches of lighter asamata continue. On the other hand the siddhis persist, though in a state of imperfection and alternating or mixed with [asiddhi].2 Vijnanabuddhi is not yet established. Shanta udasinata mixed with active movements of ananda is the prevailing condition.
Page 326
The news in the papers today seems to indicate, if entirely true, the samula vinasha of the Europeanised revolutionary movement in India. If that is a true indication, it is a step in the right direction; but appearances are so deceitful that future events must be watched before the indication can be trusted. The old confidence in the selective trikaldrishti as opposed to the trikaldrishti of tendencies & possibilities has been too much undermined for me to accept any longer even the most obvious suggestions, especially where the mind interprets events in the sense of my own desires.
Trikaldrishti, it is evident, is still only fitfully correct in its selective & determinative activity, but increasingly perfect in the pure perceptive. This however acts within a very small range.
Rupa (Akasharupa & chitra) is now growing stronger. Clear human figures in the akasha are becoming frequent. Communication of Yoga by vyapti to those practising in the immediate vicinity is also becoming stronger.
Aishwarya is no longer an occasional output of will working upon an obstinate plastic material, but a powerful Shakti struggling with another powerful Shakti. The opposing force is still habitually the occupant of the Akasha and successful when not overborne by a strong & persistent pressure. The weakness of this movement, although it is capable of bringing about sudden powerful results, is that it establishes only a momentary force in the Akasha, instead of a permanently growing Power of Nature in the material ether which will form a dominant centre of Kali always responsive to the Purusha in this Adhara. It is noticeable that when this Shakti fails in its effort, the object after executing a contrary or different movement, returns to fulfil the original will when the struggle is over. This seems to show that the adverse Power in the akasha is also not a native of the Akasha & therefore has little more staying power than the Shakti of this Adhara. It is stronger only by use of the previously existing natural obstruction in the ether considered as a plastic material. It is also noticeable that when the object sits tight in its resistance, circumstances often arrive which compel it to execute the willed movement. None of these features are new; they date from the commencement of this sadhana (of the vijnana) three years ago (in 1910 on first coming to Pondicherry). At times
Page 327
they have seemed to be on the point of being corrected in the sense of a perfect siddhi (within a very limited range) & so it was more than once confidently recorded; but now the same features occur in a much wider range of activity. This is apparently what is immediately intended by a recent lipi, "It is useless to distinguish life from Yogasiddhi." It remains to be seen whether, as is suggested, these limitations are so powerfully brought forward, because they are on the point of being removed. The last defect is the tendency to create only a temporary result, then relapse, then succeed, & so slowly move to some kind of final success. Unless this defect is removed the rapidity so often promised cannot come.
The Brahmadrishti is now well-regulated, but still depends on smarana, the Sarva, Ananta & Ananda are more prominent than the Jnana Brahman.
The force of the Aishwarya is now showing itself in a well-established generality of efficacy, but not either of invariable or of ordinarily complete efficacy. There are exceptions in which there seems to be no effect, or only a slight temporary impulse or movement.
Today utthapana has been firmly resumed, after some futile beginnings in the past month, with the horizontal position of the arms; the force of laghima and mahima has greatly increased in the interval of non-practice, the defect of anima diminished. At the first attempt (6 am) either arm maintained itself easily for 17 minutes or 15 with only a slight defect of anima, more in the left arm than the right, and a pressure of adhogati that only became pronounced at the end. Kamananda is again increasing on the body. The Will has resumed its pressure on the body for saundarya.
Utthapana of the left arm (horizontal position) resumed & continued from 10-49 to 11-49, one hour, the adhogati asserting itself with some force, but much less than formerly, during the last ten minutes. Strong pain given to the system (burning in the eyelids by the flaming tip of a match, and muscular pain of indigestion in the breast & back) showed that the sparshas habitual[ly] causing pain can no longer entirely shut out ananda, even when they are very
Page 328
powerful, but can temporarily overpower them. In all cases there is rasagrahana, but not pritih or ananda. Pritih is only beginning. Kamananda is resuming its former maithuna intensity.
An extension of the jnanam Brahma has brought into play a rich action of the telepathic trikaldrishti. Hitherto what was seen were the immediate forces of possibility & actuality in operation outside the living objects which act, pranad ejad, proceeding from elemental or other powers who people the universe; inside the living object were seen the mental states, feelings, impulses, tendencies, thoughts, nervous & physical states, proper to the conscious waking mind; now a fresh element enters with the clear perception of the dominant idea in the superconscious dream-mind (manomaya purusha), which dictates usually the ultimate action. Beyond this is the non-telepathic trikaldrishti which can alone perceive what is the unalterable eventuality actually destined. This perception is contained in the sleep mind of the manomaya purusha, where all beings know the past, present & future. The rest is a matter of range, arrangement & proper action of the knowledge. The perception is now goagram aswapeshasam.
Utthapana of the neck, raised position, maintained for a quarter of an hour; not yet at ease; laghima & mahima partially manifest, anima defective.
Swapnasamadhi in the afternoon; fragmentary conversations ("dialogue", lipi predicted before sleep) of two persons accompanied with images but no complete group (eg Kedar Das Gupta, long forgotten), combination of image, shabda & action, etc, attempt also at continued action; but all in chhayamayi.
Power & knowledge are once more returning to the satyam, ritam & brihat, but ritam is very largely retrospective. Dasyam is fixed & powerful in the body, not yet usually intense. Swapnasamadhi is becoming once more brihat, but there is little of the ritam; in dream proper the associations of present ego & its images are still potent & prevent right vision, but incoherence is now slight.
Utthapana of the left arm again for 17 minutes; the reminiscent muscular pain exercised its pressure with varying force but not so much as to make adhogati successful. Utthapana of the legs, simultaneously, was unsuccessful.
Page 329
Utthapana of the left arm for one hour. Some heaviness of the muscles at the beginning developing into muscular pain of a slight character and pressure of the adhogati but at no time sufficient to menace overcoming of the utthapana. At the end capacity still left for half an hour's utthapana.
General ritam of the knowledge, including trikaldrishti, grows rapidly, general ritam of the power is only preparing. Interpretation of the lipi is moving to the state of general ritam.
Kamananda, again manifest chiefly or wholly in the states of rest of the body, sitting or lying, now again tends towards manifestation in the postures of exertion, standing or walking.
Ananda is now confirming itself in all that hitherto kept anything of the nature of apriyam in the subjective & the objective being; it has also begun to fill up inequalities, beginning with the taste.
Utthapana of the neck only for 9 and 12 minutes; adhogati powerful; of the leg (middle position) for 22 minutes; the force of the urdhwagati not pronounced, pressure of adhogati on the muscle.
Utthapana of the neck for half an hour; Mahima & laghima were strong though not yet entirely perfect, but Anima very defective; strong & troublesome pressure on the nerves & veins of the neck and back of the head, but not an overpowering pressure. Utthapana of the right leg for 7 minutes only in the middle position, Anima & Mahima very weak, laghima satisfactory; of either leg successfully in the horizontal position for 5 and 6 minutes, Mahima insufficient, Anima very weak. The morning chiefly spent in Veda & Life Divine. Subjective siddhis dull owing to flagging of the Vijnanabuddhi. In this reactionary state Ananda is dull in the purely physico-vital parts of the indriyas though strong in the mental and intelligent parts, the other siddhis sink to a low intensity and show whatever imperfections are still defectively purged out of them. Mahasaraswati tapas with the Maheshwari basis sometimes covered, sometimes visible through a thin veil of Mahasaraswati bhava.
Recurrence on a small scale of the crisis of asiddhi in the
Page 330
first two chatusthayas centred in asraddha. After repeating the stereotyped movements, it gradually disappeared, leaving however a diminished faith and tapas.
Utthapana of the neck in middle position for 15 minutes with great difficulty owing to violent An-anima; laghima at first weak afterwards strong enough to fill the place of a deficient mahima. Utthapana of both legs, middle position, for 5 minutes only, very defective. Utthapana of back, higher position, for 3 minutes; laghima & mahima a little stronger than formerly. The subjective siddhis not yet advanced. Kamananda sometimes intense, sometimes suppressed or subdued; general atmosphere of violent suppression. The assimilation has been resumed & is more in the control of the tapas; tendency to constipation diminished; free evacuation after 4 days, slight evacuations on the second and third. Health has been greatly strengthened
Discomfort of cold and heat is being extruded from the body, but recurs, especially when it is of the nature of a surprise, eg the sudden touch of cold water in a chilly atmosphere, and the Shakti in the physical nerve system has not time to send a sufficient force of Chittapas to meet & assimilate the sparsha.
Kamananda now comes without the smarana; it is more frequent and has a more constant tendency towards intensity.
Utthapana of the left leg, horizontal position lying on the side, half an hour. Laghima strong, mahima sufficient, violent an-anima in the sinew or nerve; of the right leg, horizontal position, lying on the back, ten minutes; urdhwagati deficient; of the neck, middle position, 20 minutes, difficulty of an-anima much reduced. In the afternoon utthapana of the right leg, lying on the side, 10 minutes, violent an-anima in the sinew compelled cessation, although laghima and mahima were sufficient.
Kamananda established itself in standing & walking.
Chitra of animal & inanimate forms suddenly strengthened; there is, however, still some resistance.
Page 331
In the evening jnana of perception & jnana of vangmaya were reorganised with finality as well as lipi in all but material legibility. A movement was made to the same end in the rest of the vijnana, especially in swapnasamadhi where all the obstinate defects of the past broke down initially in type. Poetry resumed
The whole day has been devoted to a struggle, attended by revived asiddhi & relapse into all the circumstances of mentality, to establish the organisation of the ritam in trikaldrishti, telepathy etc on the basis of entire Brahmabodha including especially the jnanam Brahma. The one positive result is the intensity of the Brahma bodha. Subjective ananda has ceased in the prema, except occasionally; the chidghana is assailed by obstructions which prevent the secure possession of its bhoga, & even in some habitual features of the ideal rasagrahana and priti.
Utthapana of the right arm for half an hour without difficulty in the horizontal position, and after an interval of three minutes for another half hour against an increasing pressure of an-anima. Advantage was taken of the muscular stress to confirm the ananda (rasa, priti & bhoga) of strong & insistent muscular pain.
Kamananda at night began to recur in the state of samadhi
Utthapana of the legs, horizontal position, successively, a failure due to entire defect of anima and for the most part of mahima. Like the Brahmabuddhi yesterday, the Brahmaprema today was universalised and raised to a high intensity, bringing with it entire premananda on men, animals, objects & events. The movement now is to confirm all the anandas, except the physical, & the subjective siddhi generally, prema, kama, shama in the Ekam Brahma, so assuring it on the bahu, & no longer perfected by application through the Avidya to each object separately. So far as that movement was necessary, it has been accomplished, but it can only be finally safeguarded from interruption & relapse by being secured in the ekatwadrishti of buddhi, heart, indriyas & sanjna generally. The vani & script yesterday were confirmed in their proper nature
Page 332
as proceeding from the ananda & involving the vijnana. Faith also has been established in the truth of the instruments of knowledge; the satyam brihat is entirely confirmed & the truth of misapplied satyam is habitually perceived either before, with or after the event. The ritam however is yet defective, although its hold on the active consciousness increases & there is still uncertainty about the Adeshasiddhi & consequently about the entire rapidity of the physical siddhi & karmasiddhi. The rest is felt to be assured, since all the members are rapidly growing [in] force. There is constant pressure of the will on the asaundarya, but its compact resistance is yet far from being broken.
In the afternoon the resistance to the Will had entirely the upper hand and a period of Asiddhi began, with its usual circumstances. This movement has continued since and such siddhi as manifests, appears with difficulty and as from behind a veil. The successful contradiction in all the Chatusthayas continues, although hitherto it has not been so acute as in the more successful invasions.
Swapnasamadhi continues to grow in strength, especially in initial continuity of scenic action and coherence & intelligibility of lipi. Akasharupa is not yet able to confirm itself in the Akasha, but it manifests with an imperfect & fragmentary persistence. The frequency of vivid lipi is much obstructed.
The attempt in the Brahmabodha to unify the upalabdhi of the Atman & of the Ishwara with the upalabdhi of the Brahman has begun, but is not yet successful. Separately, they are all well developed. The sadhana of pleasure in pain continues and the success is general, but not yet complete in the intenser touches.
No entry was made under this date. One and a half pages were left blank before the next entry in this notebook, that of 12 December.—Ed.
Page 333
Home
Sri Aurobindo
Books
Share your feedback. Help us improve. Or ask a question.