The Mother’s correspondence with six members of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram.
The Mother : correspondence
Ce volume réunit la correspondance de la Mère avec six personnes, des disciples et des élèves de l’école de l’Ashram. La Mère y répond à leurs questions sur la vie et le yoga.
This volume contains the Mother's correspondence with six members of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. The material covers a thirty-five year period, from 1932 to 1968. All the correspondences are presented in chronological order. Two of them were written in English; four were written wholly or partly in French and appear here in translation.
THEME/S
This series is entirely in English, with the exception of one reply in French.
To a disciple who is identified in the text simply by his initial, R. Raised in Gurukul Kangri in Uttar Pradesh, the disciple joined the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in July 1938, at the age of twenty-one, and has remained ever since. He sought to serve the Mother especially through his work, and this concern is reflected in his letters, most of which deal directly with problems of work. During his fifty years in the Ashram, the disciple has served in many positions. The main ones, mentioned here because they are referred to in the correspondence, are: the preparation of fruit juices for Sri Aurobindo and the Mother; the allotment of work to new Ashramites; the distribution of fuel and foodstuffs to Ashramites; the management (in conjunction with others in some cases) of the Fruit Room, Dining Room, Bakery and Laundry; editor of Purodha and Agnishikha, two monthly journals in Hindi; Hindi teacher at the Ashram's Centre of Education; and the Hindi translator of many works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
Mother mine,
Sometimes I am translating stories written by various people both in the Ashram and out of the Ashram. If I want to send them to press, may I do so? In these days it would be inconvenient for Thee to give approval on each one. Does this literary work help me in my sadhana or is it a hindrance?
You can do this translation work occasionally but not to the extent of getting absorbed in it. The consciousness must remain free for the sadhana.
Love and blessings.
29 December 1938
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In answer to your letter I can tell you that if the value of the property is given to me I will certainly accept it. But I cannot ask for it, I can only take it as a free gift.
My love and blessings are with you.
Some temptations are coming to me in the name of service to the motherland and mother-tongue. Fame, Gandhiji's personality and great philanthropic work are held out as baits. Kindly protect me. A friend is pressing me to join Kalelkar in his work. Kindly see that this and other such temptations do not snatch me away from Thy arms.
I have written a story. May I send it to the press?
You can send it provided there is nothing objectionable in it—that is to say, no political or social controversy, etc.
Love and blessings to my dear child.
Mother,
Can I get a brief life sketch of Thine for publication in the special Sri Aurobindo number that I am editing? if so, whom should I approach with the request?
I do not want any life sketch of mine to be published. I have always refused the permission to all those who have asked it.
My love and blessings.
Mother Dear,
The special Sri Aurobindo number is ready. The matter is prepared, but at the eleventh hour I am very
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unwilling to publish the portions translated by me and so I want to postpone it—if not cancel it.
I am feeling rather depressed. I am thinking that my translations are not satisfactory.
I don't know what to do. I think it is Your Will that the number should not come out at present and hence the dissatisfaction in me. Because up to last week I was fully satisfied with my work. When it is against Your Will, how can I do it?
You must have worked too hard at the translation and that is why you are now dissatisfied and depressed. But I am sure the translation is all right and I see no reason to postpone its publication.
With my love and blessings.
I have received Abhaya's letter. You can write to him: "It is absolutely out of the question for anyone connected with the Ashram to intervene in politics of any kind. He must not go to Sir Akbar Hydari (it would be quite useless in any case). If he went and Sir Akbar spoke to us of it we will be obliged to disavow his action as not sanctioned by us." You can send him our blessings.
My dear child,
I am always present, close to you—in you—and my blessings are with you.
X came today for the books. I have told him on Your authority that it is impossible. He is not going. He says
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he must remain near You and that really You have no objection in his staying.
This is quite wrong, both Sri Aurobindo and myself want him to go because we are convinced that the atmosphere of Pondicherry is not favourable to the balance of his mind and the climate is not good for his health.
Abhaya writes to me that he wishes to take you away with him to Gurukula.
I have not yet answered to him.
I wanted first to ask from you how do you feel about it.
Of course if you ask me, I shall tell you that I do not see why you should go. But you must tell me frankly your own feeling.
(The disciple informed the Mother that he did not wish to leave the Ashram, but would go if she wanted to send him away.)
[This note is based upon the disciple's recollection of his original letter, which has been lost. Such notes have been provided subsequently in a number of cases where all or part of the letter is missing.]
I am quite pleased with your answer although it is not a surprise to me. I knew what was in your heart, but I wanted to have it in writing from you to be able to say categorically no to Abhaya.
You can be quite sure that I will not send you away from here.
I want to ask You whether thinking of Your work is not a part of thinking of You. Is it going towards
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break the right attitude if, even though I may not remember You always, yet I may be remembering Your work and thinking of it.
Yes, it is quite good.
I do not use any bedding or mosquito curtain or even a pillow. I sleep on the cot without spreading anything or on the ground with a mat. I have been told that You do not like this. Is it so? Of course formerly I used to do this for the sake of asceticism, but now that is not the reason. I am habituated to it and I don't see any reason why You should spend more money unnecessarily. I hope You don't have any objection.
I have absolutely no objection to it and wonder who could have told you that I had any!
A cousin of mine—Professor Y of Hyderabad—wants me to treat him with Ayurvedic medicine. It is not necessary to see the patient—I can get the medicine prepared in Gurukula and send it to him. I will get about Rs. 80/- from it (excluding the price of the medicine) which will naturally go to You. If you allow me to treat him and charge, then the money goes to Your feet; otherwise somebody else will get it.
You can have the medicine prepared there if you like but we cannot take money as payment. All money that comes here must be an offering.
15 December 1939
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(In 1940 the disciple took charge of the "cart service"—delivering Dining Room food to Ashramites who ate at home. When he heard that someone had complained to the Mother about his work, he wrote to her, asking if it was true.)
Nobody has complained to me of your cart service and you can be sure that if I had something to tell you regarding your work I would write it to you directly.
But you must not get worried about the mistakes and weaknesses of others; the only thing necessary is not to believe what people say to you, especially if they speak in my name.
You know what has happened to me. Please tell me what to do when I am caught in this internal and external friction. wish I could have goodwill towards those who are responsible for my external troubles, but I can't help it. Kindly give me some general directions which may be helpful in my present condition. I have become so sensitive that the least thing makes me upset.
These are vital perturbations which show themselves in the course of the sadhana and have to be eliminated. They must not be regarded as natural movements justified by the wrong action of others and bound to continue so long as there is the external causes. The real cause is internal and it can only be got rid of by yogic discipline, vigilance, self-detachment from the vital movement and a quiet but strict rejection.
26 July 1940
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Even if you are not apparently successful in your meditation, it is better to persist and to be more obstinate than the opposition of your lower nature.
I am quite satisfied with your way of doing the work and it is sure to help you to come nearer to me.
This approximate date has been provided by the disciple from memory; the original letter is undated. Such tentative dates have been given subsequently in a number of cases.
(The disciple mentioned that the sadhaks in a certain department talked a lot during their work.)
For the sake of sadhana and for the sake of work, it is always better to work silently.
(The disciple informed the Mother that he had measles and asked her blessings to cure him. He also noted that he had come to the Ashram in order to work, not to do sadhana.)
My blessings are with you.
You must take this illness as a sign that, in spite of all your convictions—perhaps even resolutions—you have to do sadhana and to add to your outer consecration in work, the inner consecration of deep understanding and psychological transformation, and make use of your seclusion for that purpose.
My help and love are with you.
6 April 1952
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I am trying my best to improve the quality of my work. I don't know whether I am successful. I still feel tired and run-down. After the illness my enthusiasm has not come back. My will to be more and more useful has become damp.
Mother, either make me useful or send me off. I do not want to lead a useless life. I may have a better luck next time. I am tired—tired of everything. Let me go if you find it impossible to change me. Let me have a very long and deep sleep.
Don't withdraw yourself, Mother. Once you have accepted me, if I have been of any use, even for a moment, don't let me down.
There is no question and no possibility of "letting you down". My attitude towards you has not changed. But your illness and your present condition have the same cause. I am trying to move quickly towards the future Realisation; the progress is rapid and to remain close to me one must move quickly also.
Something in you was refusing to change, the same something that was boasting that it was not interested in yoga, that it believed only in work, etc. etc. As a result of it you got out of my protection and fell ill. My word written at the beginning of the illness meant that. But it did not act as I hoped.
Now there is only one thing to do: face squarely the necessity of the change in some part of your nature and—with my help—change.
(The disciple sent to the Mother the letter of a worker who complained that he lacked the strength to do his work and could not feel her Grace. The Mother replied:)
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Here, for each work given, the full strength and Grace are always given at the same time to do the work as it has to be done. If you do not feel the strength and the Grace it proves that there is some mistake in your attitude. The faith is lacking or you have fallen back on old tracks and old creeds and thus you lose all receptivity.
I would like to stop being present in the Playground. If I sit, I am afraid that people will begin to collect there for their business as they used to do, and that would disturb the silence of the place.
And if I need you? The best would be to make a rule of not speaking or listening during all the distribution and to listen and answer as soon as it is over.
9 September 1954
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(Not wishing to take up the Mother's time, the disciple deliberately avoided seeing her. About this she wrote:)
One more word to tell you that you must not avoid seeing me, because it gives a kind of support to the parts of your being which are somewhat unwilling to open to my influence.
Try to be spontaneous and simple like a child in your relations with me—it will save you from many difficulties.
You have said: "We would be completely under Thy influence, to the exclusion of every other."1 I have translated it in Hindi as "We want to be dyed in Your colour, to the exclusion of other colours." This is idiomatic, but is it correct?
This is not the true meaning; each force or power has an influence on other forces and powers, and this action is reciprocal. To escape this constant and general confusion of influences, there is only one way—to concentrate exclusively on the Divine Consciousness and to open oneself only to the Divine Consciousness.
It is the general talk around here that if I want to assign workers to departments I can always do so, but for one reason or another I do not give them and thus I put people into difficulty. I don't know whether they actually believe it. I have never cared for popularity or public opinion, so this view had no importance for
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me. But from the way you spoke yesterday morning, I wonder whether the Divine also shares this view.
No, the Divine knows and cannot share in any nonsense.
When exhibitionism seems to be more important than anything else, when all possible facilities are being given to make life easy, when everything is being given to us without any expectation of return, how can people work unless there is a change from within?—and, I am sorry to say, my eyes cannot see it within the range of sight. Life is becoming more chaotic, the Divine does not seem to be nearer, everything seems to be going topsy-turvy. In spite of all the bright promises, I wonder what is in store.
This is only a pessimistic view of things. The opposite also is true and through this apparent chaos a new and better order is being formed. But to see it one must have faith in the Divine Grace.
Cheer up! Things are not so bad as you think.
With love and blessings.
(The Mother called the disciple to the Playground to see her on his birthday, but he did not go. That evening she explained to him that she had wanted to give him something inwardly. The next day he wrote:)
I am sorry for my behaviour yesterday. May I apologise for it? I hope missed opportunities will not be lost opportunities. May I pray that this one may be the last of the series.
I wish I could be your true servant.
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I have spoken a little "severely" last night so that the mistake is not reproduced—but to say the truth, the consequences of it are already effaced and what I wanted to give you is given—it is left to you to make the proper use of it.
I consider you already as a true servant, but I want you also to become a true child, so that you may have the full joy of it.
(The disciple wrote that he felt the Mother's Presence only while working, and therefore work was his only sadhana. The Mother replied:)
In the integral Yoga there is no distinction between the sadhana and the outward life; it is in each and every movement of the daily life that the Truth must be found and practised.
(The disciple informed the Mother about a difficulty in work, then added:)
As a discipline I should not complain to you about anything. For some time I have been going on in this way. Somehow I feel that you will have a control over things in the very near future. The only thing to be done is to keep quiet. But I would like to know whether this attitude is correct—or is it tamas in a guise?
Surely to be quiet is not tamas. In fact it is only in quietness that the proper thing can be done. What I call quietness is to do the work without being disturbed by anything and to observe everything without being disturbed by anything.
However if something seems to you quite wrong, you can
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always report to me—without being disturbed—and I will see what is to be done.
My presence and my blessings are always with you.
(The disciple wrote that he wished to give up teaching Hindi because his students were so apathetic. His letter ends:)
It is said that you give no importance to the Indian languages. Do you want me to continue in spite of my students' apathy or can I give it up?
Continue without hesitation.
I have the deepest respect for Indian languages and continue to study Sanskrit when I have time.
Amrita says that the situation of his Tamil class is much worse than that of the Hindi one. He says that he will continue even if the students come no more ... he will teach to himself!
(The disciple's Hindi students asked him to say something on the subject of holidays. He referred their request to the Mother, who replied:)
Holidays
Shall we say holy days? There are two kinds of them: traditionally, the Lord for six days (or aeons) worked to create his world and the seventh He stopped for rest, concentration and contemplation. This can be called the day of God.
The second one is: the men, the creatures, during six days work for their personal interests and egoistic motives, and the seventh they stop working to take rest and have time to look
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inwardly or upwardly, in contemplation of the source and origin of their existence and consciousness, in order to take a dip in It and renew their energies.
It is scarcely necessary to mention the modern manner of understanding the word or the thing, that is to say, all the possible ways of wasting time in a futile attempt at amusing oneself.
(The disciple wrote about a sadhak who did very little work and, in addition, was advising new workers not to "slave like coolies".)
When you are not doing your work with a full sense of your responsibility, it is not a reason to incite new workers to act like you.
(The disciple, responsible for assigning work to new persons entering the Ashram, was upset to find that work had recently been given to someone without even informing him. He asked the Mother how this could happen.)
All I can tell you is: Whenever a person or persons send word to me asking for work and expressing their intention to stay on for some time or to be admitted permanently, I always answer without exception: go to R2 (if I speak to the person himself) or send him or them to R. How this is changed into something else and you are not informed—that I cannot say—it is one of the mysteries of human nature, and I am quite sure that many things happen without my being informed of them at all.
But it is not a reason for being upset about it. There is only to remain quite cool and to do our best within the limits that human nature ascribes to us.
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After all the whole, entire responsibility is the Lord's and nobody else's. So there is nothing to worry about.
We have announced that in the proposed Aditi book series each book will have about 100 pages. The first book will be "White Roses". Is it necessary to keep Huta's introduction?
Yes, because what I have written was for Huta and not for others—to each one what is said is said in a different way—and to mix all that makes a confusion.
I submit a summary of Anu's play, Rajkumar, in her own words. You may read it when you can. I would request you to make some suggestion that may help in raising it from the commonplace, that may help the consciousness of those who participate. I feel the need of some change at the end. I do not know what.
Are the circumstances of the story historical? or can they be altered? If they can be altered, it would be more interesting if the hostile's instrument gets converted by the Prince's love just at the moment of giving the poison, confesses and gets pardoned.
This old idea of the necessity of the catastrophe to make the power effective is a limitation that has to be overcome.
Of course, if it is historical and has to be kept, it is in the speech that the higher truth must be told.
25 February 1962
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I was under the illusion that I have to arrange work for people. X is in a very bad condition and Y is also unwell. So I thought that when Z comes, he could be put in Honesty Society to help X. He has been a merchant. As it always happens, the case has not been referred to me and I hear he is being given to Bureau Central under your orders!! Yet just the other day I gave a temporary hand to Bureau Central.X's need for a new worker is much more. But if it is your order, I bow down to it.
Each time that an unpleasant situation is there or an impossible person is to be handled, religiously they are passed on to me; otherwise ... And you say that I am responsible for works.
Must I take it for bad temper and that the ego has been brushed the wrong way? ... You seem very bitter. And yet nothing is decided finally on my side without referring matters and telling that you must be consulted for the most useful thing to be done. But never mind—if you think things are not going the right way and I am responsible, let it be—I accept the responsibility.
In the present case, I am glad to know that Z can be more useful in Honesty Society, so we shall send him there and hope everything will be all right. But it remains absolutely true that I am mostly busy with something I consider more important than exterior organisation—for the moment—and that is why I expect each one to do his duty with the best of his capacity, and with his eyes fixed upon the magnitude of the Divine's work which will surely help him in his personal difficulties.
Times are hard for everybody and in everything—but it is surely to teach us to overcome our limitations.
I have full confidence in you, count upon you, need your
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work, and feel sure you will get over the present difficulties.
X brought this pen from Nepal. He gave it to me. I pass it on to you with the confidence that its coming to you will do good to China (it is made in China) and the relations between India and China.
Here is the writing. The pen seems good—blessings to China!
Yesterday I was sleeping in the day and you came in my dream and began to say something when someone knocked at the door and woke me up. This was repeated thrice and each time someone knocked at the door and gave me a severe headache. I hardly remember my dreams, but this one was so vivid. I wonder whether actually you had something for me.
Yes, indeed, I came to you—it is not the only time—with some insistence, for general affairs, Ashram affairs and sadhana (yours)—that is to say, stating the point of your advance.
Is there no way of preventing people from knocking?
A notice at your door, "Please do not knock now."?
A state of emergency has been declared by the
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President of India.3 The Government can take drastic action. Our people right from A down to X, Y and Z are speaking vehemently against Nehru and his Government at the gate, in the streets, in the Dining Room, etc. Some even go on involving your and Sri Aurobindo's name. This may invite unnecessary trouble for the Ashram. I bring it to your notice.
I am sending you a notice to put up in the dining room.
We shall have it on the notice board also.
Silence! Silence!
This is a time for gathering energies, and not for wasting them away in useless and meaningless words.
Anyone who proclaims loudly his opinions on the present situation of the country, must understand that his opinions are of no value and cannot, in the least, help Mother India to come out of her difficulties. If you want to be useful, first control yourself and keep silent.
Silence! Silence! Silence!
It is only in silence that anything great can be done.
A good advice to all the Ashramites in their dealings with visitors and foreigners (and even among themselves)
"When you have nothing pleasant to say about something or somebody in the Ashram, keep silent.
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You must know that this silence is faithfulness to the Divine's work."
You wrote to me that at night you come to me. I also try to reach you but ... alas.
Continue to try—one day you will succeed, as still I come.
Blessings.
(When the disciple became editor of Purodha, he began writing stories and articles for the journal. But, as he explained to the Mother, he was afraid that his head would get swollen if his old ambition of becoming a great writer rose up again.)
Behind all ambitions there is a Truth waiting the opportune time to manifest. Now that the ambition is gone, it is time for the truth (the capacities and abilities) to manifest.
Take great care not to become "swollen", but I am with you, helping you, in order to do something that may be interesting.
Somebody connected with the Ashram wants to publish a diary (not for commercial purposes) with quotations from your writings along with the writings of Vivekananda, Ramatirtha, etc. I have said that it is not good to make this khichri [mixture]. Better don't put Mother's things. Is it all right?
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You are quite right.
I hear that you have flu—that won't do.
You must rest—but a rest of concentrated force, not of diluted non-resistance to the adverse forces. A rest that is a power, not the rest of weakness.
Cheer up, my child, shake off the bad influence.
I would very much like to see you in your new body.
I suppose you mean my new appearance or my transformed body. Because for a new body, I do not know of anybody who could make a complete living body within which I could step without losing, at least partly, my present consciousness. This of course could be a relatively quicker process, but not quite fair for the cells of this body so full of enthusiasm, and lending themselves so willingly to the somewhat exacting process of transformation.
In any case, as I told you already, you must be prepared to wait a long time for it, and to see many birthdays pass on. Which, of course, is very good and of which I fully approve.
With love.
X had written to you about the construction of the Orissa Boarding. Y has to do the work. Z and W will see the technical side and I am also there. My work is not
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assigned in the letter. You have approved and signed it. X tells me that I am expected to be a sort of liaison for contacting you and the other departments as and when needed. The work will start after Darshan.
How can the work start after Darshan? They do not have the needed money, only a very small part of it. And it is impossible to start work before having at least three-fourths of what is needed.
Besides the plan is not ready, the calculations are not made, nothing is ready according to my knowledge. It would be pure folly to start anything in that condition. I remember the letter of X but did not take it seriously for the reasons above mentioned, and paid no special attention to your presence in this affair which seems to me a little superfluous. So, unless all the money is collected and all the plans and calculations are made and shown to me—nothing doing.
In my right leg—from the thigh right down to the heels—some nerves are not working properly. I have a feeling of numbness and I limp while walking, and sometimes if I am not careful it appears that I may lose control. Please see. It started when I was ill in January.
I wonder why these things do not get cured unless I inform you physically. When it is for others, I inform you in silence and it works. Can you tell me?
It depends on the physical receptivity of each one, and that receptivity depends itself on the more or less dominating mind.
3 March 1963
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(While translating the Mother's "Words of Long Ago" into Hindi, the disciple found that the story of Kaikeyi told there differed from the version in the Hindi Ramayana. He wrote:)
I am afraid people will criticise what is different from their belief on this point. They say that as Rama loved her so much, she was chosen for the most difficult and unpleasant task.
It seems the Bengali version tallies with what you have written, but the Sanskrit and Hindi versions of Ramayana are different from it. What to do for the Hindi translation?
What I had written was not at all direct knowledge but the translation of a book written in English more than 60 years ago. So you can make all changes that are necessary.
You had told me that you do not want your name to be associated with the name of Paul Richard in any way. X is writing about the early days of the Ashram, where he speaks of your arrival. There he says that you came with Richard who had come for electioneering, etc. This has been published in English and Bengali. It has now come for publication in the Hindi "Purodha". What is your advice?
I am very sorry for this. Nothing was told to me about it. Stop it at that;4 by all means, let it be the last time something is publicly
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mentioned about (my?) past life!—this body does not want to be spoken of—it wants to be quiet and, as far as possible, ignored.
Now an impertinent question. You wrote to me in very strong language that you did not want to be bothered about the details of Ashram affairs because you were too busy with your inner work. But now you have begun to ask for such information. Does it mean that you have crossed that line where all your attention was needed, and the future is in your hand, or have we bungled so much that you have to spare time for these affairs? I wish it were the first. Will you tell me the secret?
There is no secret. The second is true. Things are in such a mess that I am compelled to keep an eye on them.
I see only two alternatives about this woman Y: either you keep her as charity or you allow me to be a little strict and send her away, giving her about 120 rupees for railway fares etc. for two. Z says that her organs are affected by T.B.
Always, from the beginning, I considered her as a case of charity and expected very little work from her—she is not of the type that likes to be useful. Let her remain at the Lake and be given some occupation that will keep her quiet.
20 April 1963
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(Banarasi Ma, a woman from North India with thousands of followers, went about Uttar Pradesh preaching that she represented the work of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. She made various predictions, among them that Sri Aurobindo would reappear in human form on 15 August 1964. To enhance her prestige, she produced forged letters supposed to have been written to her by the Mother. Writing about her, the disciple ends his letter:)
About 4,000 people in that area of U.P. have joined her fold. Quite many have left their jobs to be with her and all this on your mission and in Sri Aurobindo's name. People of our centre and members of Sri Aurobindo Society in that area want to know what should be their attitude and duty in face of this cyclone of falsehood. I have to give some reply. Please say.
All this must stop at once and for all. It is sheer forgery and the people who do forgery ought to go to prison5—or, at least, not allowed to go about spreading their falsehoods and duping credulous people. Her first predictions all failed. These will fail in the same way, and those who believe are simply fooled.
(The Mother asked the disciple to dismiss from the Ashram a woman who had become mentally unbalanced. When she refused to go, he wrote:)
We had been to X. She refuses to listen to reason. She says she won't go even if her husband comes. Y is ready to take her forcibly. She wants an interview with you. She speaks all sorts of nonsense. Instructions please.
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It is quite impossible to remove her forcibly. An interview is quite out of the question. Let her be here so long as she wants to remain. Try to lodge her somewhere where she will be as little harmful as possible, give her just what is necessary and otherwise ignore her presence (if she allows us to ignore it).
I shall see.
I did not get any reply to my question about teaching classical Hindi. Classical Hindi is a little difficult, but it contains the cream of the language. Sri Aurobindo has given high praise to the classical poets. Some students do not want it from the point of utility. They want only modern Hindi—that is more useful in day-to-day work. Even there they refuse to speak correct Hindi. They prefer the horrible thing that they call Playground Hindi.
I intended to answer, and in a hurry forgot to do it. The reply is: teach both—the true language and what it has become. That will be very interesting indeed—and more than anything else can cure them from the habit of speaking bad Hindi.
I am sending you one of Z's files containing reports of incidents in your life. I have put three or four marks. Almost all these things were published in "Mother India". Which of the things can pass in this book? Please give me some criterion by which I may say what is "passable".
I have just glanced at the file. All that is the kind of rubbish that, since long, I have stopped trying to check—it is like children's
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toys. The only thing I wanted to see was the "Japanese boat" and my prophecy—because this sounds utterly false and needs rectifying.
Let me tell you one incident. (I won't publish it!) I had collected Rs.67 from my writings. I required some books and I wanted to buy them. One day suddenly I passed on the money to you and immediately afterwards somebody sent me those books, plus others worth about Rs.200 as a personal gift!
This kind of thing has happened hundreds of times and is happening more and more—but to me it seems "quite natural" although I am unwilling to explain.
I was popular with my students, but now I am losing my popularity since I expect them to work seriously. What is the way out?
The way out?—is to take it coolly, not to mind and to go on with the work quietly... expecting that better days will come.
A friend wants to offer four or five electric fans for the Dining Room. He will pay for the upkeep for a year or two. Do you accept?
Yes.
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I have heard from his wife that he wants to put a ceiling fan in my room also. My first reaction is "No, I don't want luxuries." But it seems a greed is lurking somewhere. What is your advice? (I am not asking for sanction.)
The room is small. A fan would be good. You can take it and see if it helps.
What is bad is slavery—slavery to abstinence as well as slavery to needs. What comes, we take but always ready to let it go, if it goes...
24 June 1963
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(The disciple wrote about two Dining Room workers who quarrelled and fought. His letter ends:)
X gave some blows, Y also gave some. Both fell on a window which in turn fell down. This was at 11:25 when the Dining Room is full of diners.
I received a letter from X and I told him what I thought of the event.
I am not answering to Y—but all that seems very much like going back to the time of primitive man in the caves...
We do not wish to live the artificial life of civilised society, but it would be better to climb up the ladder towards a greater civilisation, rather than fall backward to the rule of the blows...
With blessings.
On the 3rd July I finished 25 years of my stay. Usually I used to get a scolding from you for one reason or other. This time I missed that.
Because you needed no scolding this year.
Z—the man with T.B.—has dreamt three or four times that a very dark figure comes to him and tries to strangulate him. He wants to know why this happens and what he should do.
It is some wrong formation in the subconscient. But it would not have recurred if he had not feared. It is the fear—more or less conscious—which does almost all the mischief.
Without fear nothing can happen.
You can tell him like that.
July 1963
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There is an all-round deterioration of work and workers, and the demands are increasing by leaps and bounds.
Yes, the disorder is general. The only help is FAITH.
About going to Dr. X, I think it would be better that my body should learn to depend upon you without any foreign aid. I have fears, and lack of faith also attacks me, but I think that in spite of this you can and do help me. Then is it necessary to go to somebody else?
It gives confidence to the body and that way it helps. But I leave it to your decision.
(The disciple informed the Mother of recent difficulties in receiving visitors at the Ashram gate.)
To avoid all "stories" and complications, it is better to have a second man or boy at the gate between 12 and 2, to bring groups of visitors, especially when there are children, to Quadros House where there is a big verandah which will be provided with seats for them.
I have received complaints that Y is very rude. I do not know how far it is true, but you might ask him to behave properly.
The reception room will be closed between 12 and 2.
And the verandah cannot be crowded with families, children
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and luggage. I am trying to arrange things decently and need your help.
I enjoyed your letter and the "story".
Here is my answer. Is it an answer?... at any rate it is a fact and might explain some things:
"I give orders to those who are perfectly and totally surrendered, as these orders cannot be discussed or disobeyed."
It seems I have to work as an intermediary between Sri Aurobindo Society and the Oriya group. Please remember our old contract: you do the work, I take the credit. Today I have to meet them.
Very good.
Say to Z that as I am expected to do miracles, each one of you must also do some—a few—miracles!
(A group of investors wished to economise on the construction of a new building. The disciple asked the Mother for her opinion.)
In the matter of construction, you get what you pay for. They believe themselves to be very clever, but if they spend less, the house built will last less and even may not be strong enough to resist the violences of Nature. The appearance is the same for
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an untrained eye but the solidity and the resistance are quite different. After saying all that, my conclusion is "Let them do as they like."
After all everybody must learn his lesson.
Still I add a word of warning. A badly built house cannot be repaired—because most often it is the foundations that are defective.
I have just received a question from the President of the Sri Aurobindo Society through her Secretary. It asks me whether I am ready.6 Please say what I shall reply.
The question means
Are you ready for the Hour of God?
You can answer: Yes.
It seems that the Divine likes to be cheated. I have a note from X saying that you have sanctioned breakfast for two children staying with Y.
Where you are mistaken is to believe that I am cheated. This is impossible because their "intention" is for me much clearer than their words.
At first they were sent to the Dining Room under the cloak of emergency. After that, when they were checked,
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we were told that they had been permitted to take food. When a written permission was demanded, they stopped taking our food. Then I was approached to allow them on a payment basis. I know what it means. I refused. Then I was told they will purchase milk and offer the money to Mother. I said: "If you purchase milk, the money must come to the Dining Room." They agreed. And now this note that two children will have breakfast and pay you Rs.10 monthly. According to our charges, it comes to Rs.30 for two, and this is the thin end of the wedge. Such cases are going on increasing. And what surprises me is that they have your approval.
No approval. But if I were to be strict with all those who try to deceive me, very few would escape this strictness.
About 1963
(The disciple wrote about a man who was performing miracles and claiming that they were done through the Mother's Force. The letter ends:)
He attributes all these miracles to you. But I wonder whether such miracle-mongering is safe. It may be like old wine in new bottles.
We do see your miracles so often, but they never come distributing leaflets advertising themselves.
I do not like these showy miracles—they most often end pitifully.
Under the pressure of the Force, the first effect is a dangerous swelling of the egos.
In front of all that, there is only one attitude to take—
Do your best and leave the result to the Lord.
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My students have learnt some Hindi, but on a point of honour(!) they refuse to speak correctly. Now I have tried for 5 years. Even my best students speak very badly behind my back. I feel like giving up teaching in the next year.
Try for 2 years more, perhaps after 7 years their "honour" will give way!...
I learn that Z is coming to see you today for his birthday. I would like to know how you find him. I like him and yet my opinion is that he is insincere, dishonest and extremely ambitious. I think that he tries to use the name of the Ashram for personal ends.
I have seen Z. He is more raw than anything else; and as in all primitive natures the ego is very prominent and selfish. Yes, something can be made out of his ambition if proper care is taken of him and if he is kept strictly on the right path with a few blows on the nose of his vanity.
X has given me a letter from Y (see photo). This man thinks that he is too big and we do not know his value. I gave him part-time to the Bakery and part -time to Z at the Press. He has been given very light work in the Bakery, but that is too much for him. Even if I give him to Z he will not work. He is already trying to go to W
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—one of the best persons with whom to be very busy doing nothing.
This is just what I had said of the man. I refused to let him go to W. If he is a too big man to work, he can go. We have no need of "big people".
However if he is truly useful in the Press, he can work there for full time (eight hours a day).
With my blessings.
I am unable to understand the attitude of our people in the face of current shortages of milk and money. When I was a student, if we heard about a famine, flood or earthquake anywhere, we used to cut down our milk, ghee, clothes, etc. and send the money for the relief funds. Here, however, when the parent body is in difficulty, an effort is being made for the boardings to be able to get all that they want. We too were paying for our boarding and lodging and yet we cut down our food.
Unhappily (?) the present difficulty is neither a flood nor a famine, nor a war, nor an earthquake, nor a conflagration, nor any of these things which move the human sentiments and make them dominate for a while the material desires named "needs".
Money difficulties make generally people dry and even bitter, if not revolted. And I know of some people who are on the verge of losing their FAITH because I do not have all the money I need!
After trying for 26 years I find I am still far from being faithful. Small matters can and do upset the balance.
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I wonder whether you will ever succeed in changing me.
I am sure to succeed one day.
Inwardly things seem to be improving, outwardly a sort of disintegration seems to be at the door. Where do we stand?
In front of a beautiful realisation.
I have been asked whether Sri Aurobindo's followers can or cannot worship Rama, Krishna and the other gods, whether they should perform religious ceremonies or stop them. I replied that we do not have any set rules that each one has to follow. Each one should do what he feels from within. I said that if one is sincere and wants to be a servant of the Lord, he can become one even without knowing the name of Mother and Sri Aurobindo, that Mother will respond to him in the form of Radha or the Virgin Mary or Hanuman. It all depends on sincerity and faith. We neither ask someone to perform the ceremony nor stop it. What do you say?
Quite right.
Generally when I have to face a violent opposition, I call your peace and the person opposite becomes quiet. Yesterday I tried the same thing with the Punjabi youth.
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It seemed to act for a while, but then it had a very violent reaction which made me rather nervous. How should one act in a case like this?
Cut connection, suddenly if possible, to let fall down the aggressive vibrations.
Sometimes when I am sympathetic with a sick person, my body begins to show the symptoms of his illness. Having been a medical student, my imagination also works. When this happens, it does not go in spite of my best effort, but it disappears with a harsh word from you. So I have to bother you again. X's diabetes is finding friends in my body. If only I could learn not to go out of your protection.
The best way is to call for the Divine Presence of Truth and Harmony, to replace the vibrations of disorder and confusion.
Y's brother wants to start a business in Bombay. He wants to use Sri Aurobindo's name in the name of the firm. I have told him that it is not desirable to use this name.
He cannot use Sri Aurobindo's name.
Now a joke. In "Purodha" I give two columns of extracts from Mother and Sri Aurobindo. I do not mention always the name of the book from which they are
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taken. Now Z has sent me a note warning me that this is illegal and the authors can sue me in court!! I am eager to know to which court you two will go against me. If the court fines me, the President of Sri Aurobindo Society7 will surely pay!!
It seems to me that you need not worry! I do not know of such a court and there is no risk of being fined.
X and Y have developed an intimate enmity. I am tired of hearing their complaints. Yesterday Z and W saved the situation; otherwise both the parties would have received good blows in the Dining Room!! I have tried my best, but can't make out any reason for their quarrel. Please help.
It is the heat! My advice is cold shower.
I would like to give an editorial note about Nehru in the Hindi "Purodha". I have thought of giving your message,8 followed by his Will where he speaks of his body becoming one with the soil of India. I would like
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to finish it with a message about the future of India. Any suggestions?
It is all right. No suggestion except that the future of India is luminous in spite of its present gloom.
The other day I dreamt that many—big and small—are being kept in the Dining Room for being killed. I wanted to run away. But then I thought, "If Mother wants it, let it be done." It had a very strong impression upon me.
This dream is a result of your old sanskaras that are still alive in your subconscient. No intention of killing pigs, unless they are the symbol of greed and gluttony.
Sometimes I have personal talks with my students. Some of the good students give so much importance to money that it gives me a shock. They want to be doctors—to earn more!! I am thinking whether I can have a debate in Hindi Sabha on "Whether money is the most important thing in life". Will it give them a chance to think seriously? I wonder.
Yes, try—it is very much needed. Money seems to have become the Supreme Lord these days. Truth is receding in the background; as for Love it is quite out of sight!
I mean Divine Love, because what human beings call love is a very good friend of money.
13 June 1964
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Now one question, if you care to reply. Each time that X or his people get angry with me or with the Dining Room, you find fault with us. Why? It is not so in other cases.
R, for God's sake, do not be as silly as the others.
I find fault with nobody! and never take sides. But, my way of seeing is somewhat different. For my consciousness the whole life upon earth, including the human life and all its mentality, is a mass of vibrations, mostly vibrations of falsehood, ignorance and disorder, in which are more and more at work vibrations of Truth and Harmony coming from the higher regions and pushing their way through the resistance.
In this vision, the ego-sense and the individual assertion and separateness become quite unreal and illusory.
When some extra confusion is created in the already existing confusion, I direct upon it some special vibrations to restore as much as possible a better harmony. It is not the individuals as such that feel the "blow", it is their clinging to or siding with the disharmony.
To say the truth, I was confident that you would instinctively side with the Truth and understand that in such cases there is never one side right and one side wrong, but all are to blame in the measure of their adhesion to falsehood and confusion.
There was absolutely no question of your taking sides. The question was not from vexation. I have made utmost effort to be in harmony with X. I have not tried so much with anybody else continuously and for so long, and it has always failed miserably. I wanted to know about that.
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The vital of some people calls always for disharmony, petty quarrels and confusion; they generally have also a kind of mania of persecution and believe that everybody is against them. To cure that is most difficult and requires a radical transformation of the nature.
The best, when dealing with them, is not to mind the reactions and to go on doing what one has to do with simplicity and sincerity. In this case, X has had from me the biggest scolding I ever gave him; perhaps it will have an effect.
A student has asked me why time seems to pass so fast. I think it has something to do with the inherent touch of eternity in us. I am not clear.
When one lives in contact with the universal harmony, time passes without leaving any trace.
Some of the best poets of Sanskrit and other Indian languages have sung of Radha and Krishna in such a way that it seems they speak of carnal desire and sexual cravings. There is something that says that it is not mere sex mania. Perhaps they could not get any other language to depict the contact with the Divine on the vital and physical planes and the total surrender of the emotions and the body. This question comes up often.
I always considered it as an incapacity of finding the true words and the correct language.
17 July 1964
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(In mid-1964 there was a severe shortage of milk in the Ashram because many cows had contracted hoof-and-mouth disease. To supplement the diminished milk supply, powdered milk was given, with the Mother's permission, but the result was vehement objection from many persons. In general it was a time of material difficulty, with much rumour and gloomy foreboding about the Ashram's future. The disciple referred to these things in his letter to the Mother.)
Yes, all these false and idiotic rumours have come to me after turning round the Ashram. I attached no importance to them.
I hope that those who are faithful and have common sense will not lose their time listening to all that.
All what you say about the food business was known to me—but you will admit that there is always a way of improving one's action and make it more luminous and comprehensive.
For the powdered milk, for once I see things like Y. The taste is detestable and the effect on the body still worse; I have witnessed many cases of poisoning through powdered milk and am not ready to risk that.
When money is missing it must be replaced by an immense effort of goodwill and organisation. It is that effort that I am asking for, a triumph over tamas and lazy indifference.
I do not want anybody to give up but I want everyone to surpass himself.
(The disciple explained several problems concerning his work, and ended:)
Please give us whatever we need to carry on the work smoothly in these difficult days.
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A watchful faith will save the situation.
X tells me that Y and Z of his department are completely neglecting their work. The machine in the latter's charge is covered with dust. Younger W is teaching him all sorts of bad habits. I do not know what to do.
The bad service comes always when the proper consciousness is lacking at the head.
A clear and precise vision of what is to be done and a steady, calm and firm will to have it done are the essential conditions for an organisation to be run properly. And as a general rule never ask from others the virtues you do not possess yourself.
I have a strong feeling that in that department the supervision is not what it ought to be.
Just for myself I would like to know why X's stay is inadvisable. In February she worked with us for 10 days for about 12 hours a day; for the last 6 weeks she is doing about 10 hours a day and yet something prevents me from recommending the case.
Your impression comes probably from the fact that she has used all sorts of ways (some not quite straight) to remain or come back, or stay here after having been told clearly that I wanted her to go. Because of that one cannot say what she will be and do if once she were admitted permanently here.
26 August 1964
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(The disciple wrote about a woman who continued to live in the Ashram even though the Mother had asked her to leave. No one in authority would insist that she go. The letter ends:)
I do not know who is to look after all this or perhaps this is a period of anarchy. X, Y and Z, all the three know about her case, but are doing nothing.
Well, the best is to take it with a smile! as it seems unavoidable—at least for the moment.
It is when things are going wrong that it is the best opportunity to show one's goodwill and spirit of true collaboration.
You had proposed that X's son could be asked to help him, but he is doing his own business with Y. He no longer works for the Ashram. Like so many others, he lives in the Ashram and works for himself.
It is just that that is leading the Ashram to financial ruin.
A childish question: Do animals and birds get the taste of the food as we do?
Yes, but they do not think about it as we do.
22 September 1964
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The idea is to start a primary school in Ludhiana on behalf of the Sri Aurobindo Society. The local people want to start it as a high school. They can finance it. The main difficulty would be about teachers—whether they can take such a big step and keep the school under your influence. What do you say?
The teachers must be found first and the school opened afterwards.
An Oriya sannyasi named Z came here to stay. In a few months he left his sannyas and became a human being. He is very fond of meditation. His body shivers and shakes when he closes his eyes. He feels joy etc., but sometimes he sees snakes around him and upon him; sometimes he is among the wild animals. On the 4th or 5th he made a regular scene in the meditation hall. I have advised him not to meditate till I get some answer from you.
It must have been a fear (perhaps subconscient) of the consequences of having rejected the sannyasi robe and this fear translates by the attacks of snakes, etc. You can tell him not to fear, that I am informed and nobody will hurt him.
Let him try again to meditate with the confidence that he is protected. But he must not try in public first. If his meditations become quiet, then he can once more meditate with the others.
7 December 1964
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(The disciple recounted his discussion with somebody on the subject of work. The letter ends:)
For us the one certainty was, "Whatever Mother accepts as work is work." I am not in despair; I am amused and I have to continue to do what I do not regard as even the A-B-C of work!!, because your compassion accepts it!
R, you are becoming very wise and approaching the realisation that we are nothing, we know nothing and we can do nothing. Only the Supreme Divine knows, does and is.
Love.
1964
Some Kitchen workers would like to use a little soda from time to time. Do you allow it?
Not very good for the stomach!
And tamarind?
All right.
A personal question. You have now allowed the use of tamarind. But some 20 years back you gave me a very good scolding because I prepared a tamarind drink for someone. You told me that it was bad for health and it was one of the things responsible for the lethargy of Indians. It was almost the same thing that our ancient
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sages have said. Now I want to know whether the values have changed or whether you are giving a concession to human desires.
I have heard so many contradictory reports on the effects of food, spices, etc., that logically I have come to the conclusion that it must be—like all the rest—a personal affair and consequently no general rule can be made and, still less, enforced.
This is the cause of my leniency.
X (see photo) has been working with me. He is full of fear that he is becoming weaker and weaker. He cannot digest tomato, butter, bread and vegetables. He has filaria and gas trouble. He wants me to change his work; he admits that his work is neither heavy nor much, but he says that even this is too much for his health. If tell him something, he thinks I simply want to extract work from him and do not care for his body. He wants to do only desk work.
Vital force is very poor and mental suggestions rather strong. Do what he asks for a time. He may find out that it is all imagination, for it is his imagination that makes him sick or rather gives him the impression of sickness.
(The disciple wrote about difficulties in the Ashram, then concluded:)
An old and very weak father of a friend of Y has enlarged prostate. The condition is serious. The doctor has advised operation. He seeks your guidance and blessings.
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Most probably the end is approaching. All depends on his nature and will. If he prefers to go away quietly and without struggle, let him be quiet and pull on as long as he can. If he likes the fight, let him be operated and see what happens. My blessings, in any case, are with him.
As for the condition in the Ashram, it is as you say and probably worse. I shall say like Sri Aurobindo: unless the consciousness changes nothing can really be done.
You will interfere—and it is good as an example and a demonstration—but the next day it will become worse.
We cannot even call down the Truth to manifest. The falsehood is so widely and deeply spread that the result would be a wholesale destruction.
Yet, the Grace is infinite—it may find out a way!
I am very sorry to say that a great discontent has spread amongst the workers of the Lake Estate. But if I speak to Z on the subject, he flares up: "Magnificent work is going on there, etc., etc."
People are here to change their consciousness. Unless they become, all of them, true to their aim, nothing true can be done.
X is going north on the 1st. Most of his business dealings are in West Bengal, Assam and Sikkim. He has good sales there, but he has to give on credit. He wants to know whether he can continue.
Honest business is getting more and more risky.
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There is one Y who was given work at the Comfort Boarding, but due to illness she had to stop. She is having a lot of trouble with her stomach and trachoma in her eyes. She came here in frustration. When she works she works well, but most of the time she is bed-ridden. Now she wants to die.
People who feel miserable here and find that they have not the comfort they require ought not to stay. We are not in a position to do more than we do, and, after all, our aim is not to give to people a comfortable life but to prepare them for a Divine Life which is quite a different affair.
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In October or November I used to get my supply of dry fruits and persimmons. Please see if something is possible.
What is truly needed, will surely come.
As far as work is concerned, surely I will be happy to welcome some willing hands. I get nervous when the question of finance comes up, and giving out more dal, oil, spices, etc. comes in that category.
It is not so much a question of finance but of rationing, it seems (scarcity of grains, etc.).
But I propose that we should simply do what is right and fair, without thinking too much of the future, leaving it (the future) to the care of the Divine's Grace.
There was another letter from X demanding money and charcoal...
Useless to say that my force and help are intensely with all those who, along with me, are fighting this state of affairs and all I ask them is to be confident and to endure.
The Truth shall triumph.
Bon courage.
11 February 1965
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(In February 1965 a number of Ashram premises were stoned, looted or burned, ostensibly as part of an anti-Hindi protest. When the Ashram's main compound was stoned, many of those inside went out to repel the attackers. The disciple, however, remained inside the compound, for he did not feel any impulse to physically resist the threat. A strong force like an electric current was flowing through his body, and inwardly he was calm. Describing this experience to the Mother, he concluded:)
I felt that if I could be confident and peaceful and call for your help, then nothing would be able to touch the Ashram. I even moved about in the Ashram in the same state. This lasted till after eleven in the night.
I have had a taste of this experience before also, but it never lasted for more than a few moments. Now I am beginning to doubt whether this was not a cloak to hide my timidity.
Never doubt such an experience.
It is exactly the condition in which everybody ought to have been, the condition I was bringing down on the Ashram, and if it had been shared by all nothing could have happened, all the most violent attacks would have been in vain.
I pray to you to save India from the Indians.
Yes, it seems rather necessary!
25 February 1965
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I wish to know whether the servants could be allowed to come for the raw vegetables from the west door of the Dining Room.
You know that I am not enthusiastic about servants handling the food—but many people seem to like it, through laziness, I suppose!
In the next issue of "Purodha" I am giving a note by Y about the attack on the Ashram—it is just a statement of what happened without sentimental colouring, accompanied by your statement.
I am sending a copy of the statement such as it will appear in the Bulletin and must appear henceforth in all the publications who want to speak of it; as you will see, I want to keep only the constructive part. The rest has done its work and is no more necessary.
(The Mother's statement on the attack on the Ashram)
A Declaration
Some people looking at things superficially, might ask how is it that the Ashram exists in this town for so many years and is not liked by the population?
The first and immediate answer is that all those in this population who are of a higher standard in culture, intelligence, good will and education not only have welcomed the Ashram
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but have expressed their sympathy, admiration and good-feeling. Sri Aurobindo Ashram has in Pondicherry many sincere and faithful followers and friends.
This said, our position is clear.
We do not fight against any creed, any religion.
We do not fight against any form of government.
We do not fight against any social class.
We do not fight against any nation or civilisation.
We are fighting division, unconsciousness, ignorance, inertia and falsehood.
We are endeavouring to establish upon earth union, knowledge, consciousness, Truth, and we fight whatever opposes the advent of this new creation of Light, Peace, Truth and Love.
I am told that the recent violence against the Ashram was the result of Mahakali's wrath and you are supposed to have said that this was not the last. I thought that it was an act of the hostile forces. If truly it is Mahakali's work, then is it to be welcomed?
People always deform what I say. It is better not to listen to them. But I have written something on the subject and will send a copy to you soon.
There is no question of welcoming destruction, but of learning the lesson it gives.
(The Mother's statement on the working of Kali)
Behind all destructions, whether the immense destructions of Nature, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, cyclones, floods, etc.,
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or the violent human destructions, wars, revolutions, revolts, I find the power of Kali, who is working in the earth-atmosphere to hasten the progress of transformation.
All that is not only divine in essence but also divine in realisation is by its very nature above these destructions and cannot be touched by them. Thus the extent of the disaster gives the measure of the imperfection.
The true way of preventing the repetition of these destructions is to learn their lesson and make the necessary progress.
I am grateful for the message that you have sent. Is it only for me or can it be put in "Purodha" also? I would like to know why one should not pray for Mahakali's intervention when the destruction that she brings is only for hastening your work. I have seen that when you scold, one feels your hand supporting from behind, so that we may not fall. If a few blows from her can make us go straight on your path, then why not welcome her?
The message will appear in the Bulletin. Better leave it for that. It would be too easily understood in a partial mental way—and the results are rather disastrous. She is not the only power at work in the world. There is also Love and Grace.
I know that it is useless to bother you, but I cannot stop myself. X is trying to smuggle one of his relatives into the Ashram. She will be perfectly useless. She gets fits and has many diseases. I am being asked to give
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her some work, but not in the Dining Room, not in the school, nothing that may put the least strain! It may be that you do not even know her and she is going on merrily with "Mother's permission".
Outwardly the whole scene is becoming more and more gloomy. But you are there and I hope you are sufficiently powerful.
I do not know if I am powerful or not (because it is not sure where is the I), but the Lord is all-powerful—that is beyond all doubts, and He is looking into the matter.
(The Mother favoured the use of coconut oil in preparing the Dining Room food, but most of the diners preferred groundnut oil. The disciple explained this to the Mother and then asked whether some Ashram-grown coconuts could be sold in the market to finance the purchase of groundnut oil.)
This coconut affair is one of the great absurdities of the Ashram. At one time I was feeling like protesting against this stupidity. Now I smile and feel like letting them do as they like. On one point still I insist, it is the availability of green coconuts for drinking, because it is very beneficial for health. Apart from that, the ripe ones can be sold and groundnut oil bought for consumption in the kitchen.
A friend who comes here often put a question to me. I simply laughed and evaded it because I do not know
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the answer. He says that formerly when he came he used to find some sort of austerity and economy. Now when the condition in the country is worse, he finds lavish prosperity. From this he concludes that the Mother had taken all the forces of poverty etc. upon the Ashram, worked upon them and banished them; now it is only the after-effects that are visible in the country and very soon the country will be prosperous.
It is a way of saying something, some action, on a much wider scale, and difficult to put into words.
(The following letter, addressed to the disciple, was forwarded to the Mother for decision.)
"R, May I draw your kind attention to the following: one gentleman from our village has come here. He is praying earnestly for staying here. He is ready to do any sort of work. He knows a little of gardening and seems to be laborious. He says he is accustomed to do hard work though he is aged. May you kindly do the needful. Thanks."
Forwarded to the Supreme.
The man is above 70. He looks very old. If Mother wants to keep him, Y can try him in the Maret Annexe Garden. Z will lodge him.
My vision says no
My pity says: Let us give him a trial.
My reason says in that way we will be caught.
19 June 1965
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(The following letter from a Dining Room worker was sent to the Mother through the disciple.)
Dear Sweet Mother,
I am working at your Dining Room Service since last six years. When my wife died I left home for the Ashram, leaving my two daughters and a son to the care of my mother-in-law's house. They are now aged 14 and 9 (daughters) and 10 (son). My mother-in-law, who has limited means, is unable to support them now. I pray to bring these motherless children here and let them grow up under your care. Awaiting your kind sanction and permission.
This is very nice—I would like to "shelter" the whole world, or at least all those who aspire for a better life. But we lack place and means.
You can tell him that just now I have refused to allow X (working in the Blanchisserie9) to bring his wife and daughter...
It is more a postponement than a refusal.
Let the town grow and the means increase and our hospitality also will be enlarged.
The people who cook at home do not relish the coconut oil we are giving them. They want groundnut oil instead.
They have been given coconut oil, that is why they want groundnut oil—but coconut oil is everywhere (even in Europe) considered as of a higher quality and much easier to digest.
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However these are very minor things that can be adjusted according to their wish.
Just for your information; no reply expected.
Some months back Y made one stainless steel cooker for our rice. We did many experiments with it. When it was successful, he gave another. He will give more in July. By the end of July, he says, we shall be able to cook all our rice with steam.
But today Z has placed an order for some more cooking pots in aluminium, so that we may have sufficient pots to cook for the 5,000 persons we expect in February 1968.
In the normal course I would not have informed you about these little things, but it is better that you know so that overlapping may be avoided and you may not have to spend money on two sides for the same thing.
Although you do not ask for an answer, I must tell you that I have agreed for the vessels asked from Y; but nothing was told to me about the aluminium vessels of which I do not approve, because aluminium is not good for cooking. I am speaking of my own experience.
I find it extremely unpleasant to bother you again and again, but I am obliged to write again. The aluminium pots are meant only for cooking rice. I thought they were safe for things that do not have salt or acid. But if you do not approve, we can cancel the order.
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I may inform you in passing that when our French enamel basins were rejected, we got some Indian basins for curds, but their enamel was so bad that they began to smell in two days and they were discoloured. We were obliged to take up aluminium basins for curds as nothing better was available. That is continuing. In the villages they use clay pots, but here they bring many problems. We can try again for better enamel if you like.
My objection to aluminium is that it makes the food blackish and gives an unpleasant taste. If, however, it has not that effect upon rice, it is quite all right.
For curds it is certainly not advisable. Earthen vessels would be much better—the best if they are properly glazed.
(The disciple was told that the Mother wanted him to do a certain unpleasant task. Though willing to do it, he was surprised by the request and therefore wrote to her. His letter ends:)
I hope my relation with you is not such that you may have to ask me whether I will do this or that. I hope you have not to hesitate before asking me to do a certain work, pleasant or unpleasant.
No, when I want something from you, I tell you straight off, not through anybody, nor if it pleases you—because when I ask you something, I am sure that it must please you.
27 July 1965
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Every day X tells me his tale of misery. I am of opinion that one must accept unreservedly what comes from you. I know it is not easy; in that case one should either put it to you or even quarrel with you and the thing will get cleared up. After all, who else can help us in our difficulties? He does not like the idea. I don't know how I can help him. Can you tell me why he is so rigid on this point and why he always gets into a sea of troubles?
Once more, the lack of faith of the human mind brings complications and pain where with a quiet faith in the Divine Guidance all could be very simple and easy.
It is for the growth of this faith and confidence that I am working since so many years. Obviously the resistance is obstinate.
I used to laugh at people who said that they could not digest the Dining Room food. It is an irony that now I am finding some difficulty with the reformed food. I request you to adjust my body to the changes.
It is more mental than physical.
When some problem arises in the Bakery or Blanchisserie, it is put before me. I have found a trick: I postpone deciding and inwardly leave the matter in your hands. Automatically a solution comes and I get the credit.
This is indeed the true way and ought to be used in all cases.
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I am not able to do the same where the Kitchen is concerned and I prefer to avoid it.
Because there is as yet too much of the ego mixed up with the kitchen affair.
I have always asked you to make me more and more useful in your service. For some time past the idea is coming that this is also an ambition and a personal demand and should be avoided like any other demand, that it should be left to you either to make me more useful or... On the face of it, it sounds good, but I fear that in my case it is a veiled demand of tamas and inertia or frustration—which I see clearly coming from outside as a contagion.
Aspiration is always good, and if some demand is mixed up with it, you can be sure that it will not be granted.
I hope that the trouble in Kashmir is the first step towards the unity of India and Pakistan.10
The Supreme Wisdom is seeing to it.
Of one thing we must be convinced—all that happens is exactly what must happen in order to lead us and the world as quick as possible to the goal—the union with the Divine and ultimately the manifestation of the Divine.
And this faith—sincere and constant—is at once our help and protection.
2 September 1965
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Y is on his way to Punjab. He has sent me a wire from Madras: "Situation changed. Wire instructions." I think he is a little afraid of the war. May I reply: "Blessings unchanged. Proceed."? He has gone with your blessings.
There is truly war up there. It is only if he is fearless that he can go.
(The Mother's message to the Prime Minister of India)
It is for the sake and the triumph of Truth that India is fighting and must fight until India and Pakistan have once more become One because that is the truth of their being.
THE MOTHER 16 September 1965
Here is my message on the occasion (corrected11 because of the world's condition of mind and feeling)—and some relevant quotations.
Your letter is welcome.
Due to the war and the threatening invasion, you must be having serious difficulty of money. We have about Rs. 4,000 with Z in the name of the Blanchisserie. May I request you to treat that money as your own and
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take it whenever you need? By your grace, we shall be able to pull on till better times come. I have kept Rs. 100.
Please see that we are truly faithful to you during these days of trial. If we cannot do anything positive, at least let us not create problems for you. I pray that India may become truly yours.
This is a very comforting note which I do not hear often. It is much appreciated. Just now the Blanchisserie money will remain with the cashier.
Later on we shall see what becomes of the financial situation.
At the time of this temporary setback,12 let me pray:
"Glory to Thee, O Lord, who triumphest over every obstacle.... Give us a faith active and ardent, absolute and unshakable in Thy Victory."13
Let us wait and see. The result is sure—but the way and the time are uncertain.
When such people as X come and speak against you, I feel as if a big flame with many tongues is arising in me, and if it goes further I feel something which I like to
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call Kali's presence. As soon as that comes, the person in front of me becomes docile. What is it?
It must be Kali's force which you evoke.
For the school in Ludhiana—they want to call it Sri Aurobindo School. I think that your name or Sri Aurobindo's name may be conferred upon an institution only after you are satisfied with their work, at least for a few years.
Y who works with me claims that he is not keeping good health and should be relieved from most of his work. He used to work for 9 hours; it came down to 5; now he wants to work only for an hour or so.
This is quite ridiculous. If the man is paying nothing, you can tell him that if he reduces so much his work, we will be obliged to reduce his food proportionally—and then the health will become worse!
When they grind wheat with the stone mill, the bread does not rise and in spite of having the same quantity of flour, it looks smaller—so people ask for more bread. If they grind it with the iron mill, the bread swells more and gives more satisfaction.
But the vitamins are destroyed by the heat and an important part of the nourishment is lost.
3 October 1965
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R, Are you scolding your students in the Hindi class?
Answer to the question quite frankly and then I shall tell you why I put this strange question.
(The disciple explained how he treated the students of his Hindi class, ending:)
Many people have told me that when I am serious, it appears that I am going to scold. But I am accustomed to making fun instead of scolding. I always hear laughter in response. But you can't say. There are two students, X and Y, who are very weak; they never work and are always irregular. I told them that if they do not want to work they can give up the subject. Perhaps these two are finding me an oppressor.
It is exactly what I expected. It is a young girl who wrote to me complaining that you made her weep. Immediately I thought that she must be one of those who refuse to progress. But before telling her that she can leave the class, I wanted to be sure...
Perhaps you know who it is.
It was a shock for me to hear that of all the students Z has complained about my behaviour. Nobody has ever wept in my class. Z has been very intimate with me since she came to the Ashram. I am sorry that she has chosen to give up my subject; she had planned to work hard with me and make up for her past negligence. She always told me that she likes my class very much and I could see
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that she enjoyed it more than many others. It brings the same question: Can you trust anybody, and what is the use of working for these children when such is the reaction? There must be something seriously wrong with me which invites such allegations.
This is exactly the kind of treatment the Divine receives from the world. Even Sri Aurobindo was not spared. You see that you are in good company and there is no reason to despair.
For giving true education you have said: "Get out of conventions and insist on the growth of the soul." I can write two pages on this, but actually I do not understand it at all. When I teach the Ramayana I can lay stress upon surrender to the Divine or such matters, but when I take up grammar or some other aspect of literature, what can I do to insist on the growth of the soul?
The contradiction comes from the fact that you want to "mentalise" and this is impossible. It is an attitude, an inside attitude mostly, but which governs the outside as much as possible.
It is something to be lived much more than to be taught.
NOTICE
The whole of India is in acute food difficulty.
All food grains are rationed.
I appeal to the goodwill of each one not to ask more than what is strictly indispensable.
November 1965
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The Prime Minister has asked the country to have dinnerless Mondays. The hotels etc. are being asked to cooperate. Are we expected to do something in this connection?
It would be a hundred times more effective to never waste food than to cut down one meal as a show and to eat more before and after. A strong, ardent, sincere campaign against the waste of food is essential and full-heartedly I approve of it.
Let the inmates of the Ashram show their goodwill and collaboration in never eating more than they can digest and never asking for more than they can eat.
I have to pay certain bills of the Blanchisserie. I have got the sum. But the bills will take some time to come. My reason says: "Since I know that I have to pay the bills, I must keep the amount; if I give it to you, it will be like challenging the Grace." But another part of me says: "Don't worry, give the money away; more will come when the bills arrive." Neither idea is stronger than the other. In such cases what is the proper way of taking a decision?
Once the mind has started working, it hampers the action of the Grace—so it is better to keep the money.
Once I was very much disappointed with the result of my work in the school. I wanted to give up. You said
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that I should work for seven years and then ask for your advice. This year I have finished seven years of my school work. The students enjoy my classes, but they do not like the fact that I make them work. I do my best, but fail to satisfy them. Tell me whether I have to continue. There is no dearth of teachers; there are several who would like to replace me. They think that mine is a position of prestige!!
Try for seven years more; we shall see afterwards! I can add that teaching (with all its moral consequences) is part of your Sadhana.
And now a personal question. I know that at the present moment cooperation and coordination are essential for the Ashram. I try my level best and I think I do so with all sincerity, and yet I fail miserably. I have heard people say that I speak very sweetly, but my actions are just the opposite. I think that I try to accommodate with everyone. I am not foolish enough to think that I am the only sincere person in the Ashram; so there must be some serious handicap in me which comes in the way. Can you tell me what it is that stops me, that comes in the way of my cooperating successfully for the work?
Do not take it as a personal affair. Disharmony and confusion are spread all over the world because of the resistance of the falsehood to the action of the Truth. Here as the action of the Truth is more conscious and concentrated, the resistance is exasperated. And in this great turmoil, most of the individuals are moved about like puppets by the forces in their conflict.
25 November 1965
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Once again may I ask you what "Réalisateur Suprême" means in the end of your prayer "Gloire à Toi"?14 You explained it to me some seven or eight years back, but it got completely washed off. After that I have asked you thrice orally or in writing and each time you have evaded. Please tell me once more.
It is not purposely that I have "avoided", but probably I did not give you the mental answer you wished for.
To make you really understand it would need a very long explanation and I have very little time at my disposal.
In short I might say that "Réalisation Suprême" for the individual means identification with the Divine and for the collectivity upon earth, the advent of the Supramental, the New Creation.
Do not treat this as a dogma, but only as an explanation.
And "Réalisateur" is the Supreme Power of realisation, the doer and the act.
(While translating Quelques Réponses de la Mère into Hindi, the disciple asked the Mother to explain certain words and phrases.)
In 1942 you wanted to teach me French, but I refused to take your time—and now!!
1) "Il faut bien que ceux qui ont du courage, en aient pour ceux qui n'en ont pas."
(Ironical) It is quite necessary that those who have courage should have some (courage) also for those who have none.
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2) "... il y a une grande joie dans la recherche; mais c'est vrai que mon coeur sera toujours altéré."
There is a great joy in seeking; but it is true that my heart will always be thirsty (for knowledge).
1965
Please explain three phrases of yours:
1) "Ne te fais pas de mauvais-sang."
Do not worry or do not bother yourself about it (it depends on the context).
2) "Si en toute sincérité, on n'agit que pour exprimer la volonté Divine, il n'est pas d'action qui ne puisse échapper à l'égoïsme; mais tant qu'on n'a pas atteint cette condition, il set des actions qui sont plus favorables au contact avec le Divin."
There is no action that cannot escape selfishness or all actions without exception can become unselfish.
3) "La santé est l'expression extérieure d'une harmonie profonde, il faut en être fier et non la mépriser."
Good health is the exterior expression of an inner harmony. We must be proud if we are in good health (or appreciate being in good health) and not despise it (or treat good health with contempt).
Please explain the final phrase: "Le véritable amour
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est une chose très profonde et très calme dans son intensité: il peut très bien ne pas se manifester par des effusions extérieures."
It (Love) may quite well not manifest itself (love) in any exterior acts (or signs—or forms), sentimental or affectionate.
In French, "effusions" is used ironically and means a display of affection.
"To conquer the Divine is a difficult task"—I think I have not understood this phrase properly.
Take "conquer" in the sense of "acquisition" or "possession".
You might say—the conquest of the Divine's Consciousness is a difficult task.
Commentary: for human beings to become conscious of the Divine and to possess His nature is difficult.
X has told me about your arrangement for the mill-room. I am very happy about it. It will give a much needed rest to Y. I hope it will work out well.
It depends on how much each one cares more for harmony than for the triumph of his own will!
Love is with all, working for the progress of each one equally—but it triumphs in those who care for it.
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(During a period of milk shortage in the Ashram, the Mother asked the disciple for information.)
I would like to have two figures, if you can give them or get them:
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1) What is in litres the quantity of milk required daily if we give the full ration?
2) How many litres of milk we are getting per day (maximum) all told?
With method, order, and care there is no difficulty that cannot be solved.
About 1965
(The disciple related the complaints of the laundry workers.)
Be careful about the various reports of the workers—they are always biased. Each one speaks always with his preferences (likes and dislikes) and twists things.
I had a queer dream. Communists attacked my room. They climbed up to the windows from outside. They were abusing, shouting and screaming; but something was preventing them from entering inside. I stood quite unperturbed as if it had nothing to do with me.
This concerns the country, not you personally.
Yesterday my right arm was very slightly hurt. I don't know why, but I almost swooned for about a minute. I do not see any reason for this.
Concentrate more constantly on the Divine Presence and the protection will be more spontaneous.
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Each time that I try to rise a little in my consciousness, I get a great setback and it seems to fall instead of rise. When I give up the effort, it becomes normal.
As for the progress, it is because you are trying mentally and the mental is always a limitation to the consciousness. It is only the aspiration from the heart and the psychic that can be effective. (And when you stop trying, you let me work in you and I know the proper way!)
I have read a good deal on "what is humour", both ancient and modern. Your humour does not fit any of the definitions and yet I find your humour to be the most humorous. Can you tell me what is true humour?
The humour of the Supreme.
According to the old tradition there is a cycle of four ages or Yugas: Satya, Treta, Dwapara and Kali. In "The Yoga and Its Objects" Sri Aurobindo seems to confirm it. I did not find any definite mention in other places. Please tell me whether the Satya Yuga that you are bringing is again to be followed by the other three and the world is to fall into this darkness over and over again.
I do not know how they will call what I am bringing, and according to Sri Aurobindo it will be followed by the New Creation and the advent of the Supramental. That is all I know.
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Does the cow really have a special sanctity or is it merely a tradition based on economic needs?
Mere tradition based on old symbols.
Z has produced many children at very short intervals. I advised him to have a little control. Instead of that, he tried for an abortion for his wife when the next occasion came. It has failed. His wife is ill. He now wants to know the proper way.
Control or, if he is incapable of it(?), operation on himself. It has become very fashionable!
I am very sorry about the muddle over X. He has told me several times that he is unhappy in his department and wants to come out, but he does not want to say so in the face of Y. He wants it to be said that he is changing to the Laundry because Mother wants it.
I do not like such a weakness going to the point of hypocrisy. Is there nobody else who could look after the Blanchisserie?
As for replacing Z in the Blanchisserie, unless X is frank and says to Y that he wants to go there and do that work, I do not want him, because my words are not diplomatic and I shall say the truth to Y whatever is the result.
In fact, it would be better to find somebody a little more courageous to work in the laundry.
15 January 1966
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I had taken your permission to give Sri Aurobindo's stories retold in Hindi (not translated) in Hindi "Purodha".
It seems to me better if it is simply translated. What is your reason for retelling and not translating?
The reason for retelling Sri Aurobindo's stories in Hindi is very simple. It is honesty. We do not want to pretend that we can translate his "Baji Prabhou" or "Perseus the Deliverer". We can reach nowhere near the original unless, as you told me once, "we reach the consciousness from where he has written", which is beyond our dreams. The stories are very nice; we tell them in our own words and say that those who can should try to read the original. On this plea you had sanctioned retelling them in "Purodha". A translation that tries to be faithful becomes very pedantic and loses all its charm. All the translations available go to prove this.
Considering the matter from this point of view—let it be.
I had planned to give "Stories from Sri Aurobindo" as we have stories from the Upanishads or the Mahabharata, with the idea that your full approval was there. X studies the original and writes it in Hindi; then I retouch the whole thing. Now I fear that you did not like it very
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much. It is difficult to withdraw because I have already announced your approval for the plan. What to do? I am not happy about it.
It is quite all right. You can go ahead happily about it! I like the idea as you put it.
All depends on the spirit in which things are done.
Your attitude is good so everything is all right.
I have been teaching some beautiful poems about Radha and Krishna. Radha seems to be so living. The scholars of the modern age say that Radha is a very recent addition to the Krishna cult. Can you tell me whether Radha existed or not?
Surely she has lived and is still living.
The political and economic situation in India is becoming more and more ridiculous. Please save India from the Indians and make us worthy of your grace.
The Divine's Grace is wonderful and almighty.
And the ways of working of the Lord are full of a delightful sense of humour...
The Labour Inspector is coming to visit our Blanchisserie at 8:30 today. If we employ 20 men or more,
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we come under the Factory Law. We have 23. Many or rather all wise men are advising me to declare only 19. But I believe that an Ashram department must not give false declarations, so I am going to declare the correct number. Am I right? Due to my declaration you will have to pay for the provident fund, etc.
Certainly you cannot give a wrong figure—but, is it not possible to really reduce the number of servants to 19?
(The disciple could not decide upon a course of action because different parts of his being put forth contradictory arguments, each of which seemed correct. He asked the Mother what to do in this case.)
I am quite willing to answer—but once more the answer will probably be bewildering...
In fact all your different parts are correct in their argument, and the wisdom is to go deep enough in the consciousness to find the place where they meet and agree, completing one another rather than contradicting.
As for the actual action, a smooth, harmonious working is generally better than the difficulties created by too rigid principles... but that also is not absolute—and the ideal condition is, at each occasion, to receive in the inner silence the guidance from above.
With constant practice and goodwill, it becomes possible.
Our old workers, who are blamed for cooking badly, have asked time and again for some more spices or more
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oil or such things. When I took up the work in the Kitchen, some of them appealed to me. I asked them to keep quiet because there was financial difficulty in the Ashram. But later, I thought I should try to get them a little freedom in work. I spoke to Y and got more spices and oil for them. Now your answer puts me in a doubt whether I have done the right thing.
R, what is the matter with you? I always considered you as one of the rare ones who could understand my jokes!... and now! You take one evident joke so seriously!...I have nothing against your workers, on the contrary; my plan was to wake up in them a new interest in the work and, on the solid basis of an experience, to give what is necessary for an ... eatable cooking. I am sorry to have to explain everything in advance, in order to be understood.
You can say to the one who spoke to you that he will be given what is needed for cooking, but that the whole thing needs to be reorganised and nothing lasting can be done in a hurry.
Now, if anything I said or did gave you the impression that I am not satisfied with your work, I am very sorry for it because nothing of the kind is in my consciousness. I know the circumstances are difficult and you do the best that can be done - but everybody and everything can always progress and I am always working in view of a possible improvement, knowing that the greatest difficulty brings always the greatest victory.
And I trust that you are with me for that.
(The disciple wrote about a disagreement with a Dining Room worker. His letter ends:)
I am sorry I am writing in anger, but a distrust of this sort does hurt and I do not conceal it.
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There was no distrust and I am sorry you took it that way. But now I tell you seriously (as you do not seem to appreciate my jokes) that the best thing to do is to have an open, frank and cordial talk with Z and tell him clearly the way you see for the problem to be solved.
If you both together come to a harmonious and effective solution I shall consider it as a great victory... for me.
You have asked me how my hand is. I don't know what to say. Before informing you about it, I had to call for your help for lifting even a tomato; only with a constant remembrance of you, could I finish my work. But after getting your blessings, I lifted several boxes of grapes, each weighing about 30 kilos, and I forgot to call you even once. From this you can decide which condition is better!!
This is one more proof that in your case, the physical contact (this time in writing) is more effective than the purely mental one.
When I came here you gave me work in the Dining Room. Thus I was working on the last Darshan day when one could make Pranams to Sri Aurobindo. My work went up to 9:30, but my group had to go for Darshan at 9:00. Everyone told me that I should leave the work and go, or I would miss Darshan. I did not mind. I came after finishing my work and, lo, Sri Aurobindo was a little late and my group began only after I had come.
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Naturally!
When you called me upstairs to do X's work, you said that I would be avoiding many troubles if I concern myself only with work and did not try to look at you each time that I saw you. I have tried to follow that advice faithfully to the best of my capacity and it has helped me very much. In the same way I did not look at Sri Aurobindo even though I had to go several times towards his room. I always thought it was sufficient that you can see me—I need not see you. If you want me to change this approach, surely I shall do so, to the extent you want. Life is a paradox, isn't it?
Your attitude is excellent and very helpful for the work and also for you.
So let us continue as it is.
Now about the future arrangement for distributing milk during this milk shortage. Instead of making any suggestion of my own, I would like to know exactly what you want me to do. Who are to be regarded as children and in what way is the extra milk to be given?
I consider as children all those below 15. Up to 10 years old I would like them to have at least 2 full cups of milk per day (of course, those who do not like milk are not at all asked to take it).
The sick people, where recommended by a doctor, may have also if they wish. Apart from that I leave it to your "wisdom".
14 April 1966
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The glass case that used to remain on my terrace (the one used for drying things) was thrown about two metres by the cyclone and all the glass is broken. The storm had a special love for the Ashram and Pondicherry, it seems.
May be.
The forces behind the cyclone were not hostile but full of a transforming power. You did the right thing, and I can assure you that to go inward and to receive the force is more helpful than to throw oneself into an agitated action. Certainly "tamas" is not good, but it is only through surrender to the Divine Consciousness that tamas can be changed.
The other day a man came to me asking whether he could give his clothes for washing. I said, "You can give clothes only after staying here for one year." And immediately he pulled out a note with your approval!!
Before signing any demand, I am always asking if the person has been here for more than a year, and each time I am told yes. I have no way of control because I do not know who is coming and who is admitted. I receive information only in very few cases. So the only thing to do in this case is to refuse all signature except on a note coming from you.
A Gujarati couple who came to stay for one year at their own expense are asking for free food. He works
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in the Bakery, she in the Kitchen. He says that he is not getting the money from home that he had expected. In work they are not bad.
They can have the food as long as they work.
Some friends are advising that in "Purodha" I should give more things by you and Sri Aurobindo about Sadhana. My idea is that if we have to approach the youth, for whom this magazine is meant, we should not speak directly of Sadhana. We should attract their attention towards the Ashram and your teachings and then let them read directly from your books. As far as the value of our magazine is concerned, I think much more depends upon the consciousness from which things are written than upon what is written.
You are right.
(The disciple explained that at the Dining Room there were two different standards by which visitors paid for their food. His letter ends:)
They are actually charging Rs.2.50 per day for 26 days. There is no uniformity. For the same thing different people give out different rates. X says that they made the change with Y's knowledge, but he does not seem to know it. I asked Z to ask you for a clarification on this point, but...
This is very interesting but not unexpected. Since I have "retired" each one seems to do according to his own ideas without correlation with the others and—under the pretext of not disturbing me—without consulting or even informing me!
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Although by my own means, I know more or less what is going on, I simply smile and do not interfere. Each one must learn by experience.
I am waiting for the day when order will conquer disorder and harmony be the master of confusion. I am behind all effort in this direction.
In a good many lives of Indian saints we read that with full trust the man refused to eat till the Lord came in the human form and shared the food, and that actually the Lord appeared, behaved just like a human being, and ate. Is there any truth behind these stories?
A psychological truth because anybody can become for you the Lord if so you decide. The subjective point of view is much more widely prevailing than it is generally admitted.
I have been reading Sri Aurobindo's "Love and Death". Do such vast regions of eternal night and sorrow as described there really exist? And do we go there after death? They seem to be like hell, with all their sorrow, gloom, darkness and the roaring rivers. Which part of the being goes there and why?
The vital world is mostly like that and those who live exclusively in the physical and the vital go there after death... But there is the Grace!...
2 August 1966
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About the vital world described in "Love and Death" you said that "those who live exclusively in the physical and the vital go there after death". Does it follow that even animals and plants have to go there? How do they manage to come out from there?
Except for very rare cases, the animals are not individualised and when they die they return to the spirit of the species.
In "Love and Death" are Ruru and Priyumvada the first forms of Savitri and Satyavan?
Sri Aurobindo told me nothing about that.
X is one of my students. She works hard but cannot retain anything. She feels sorry, works again, but with the same result. Seeing her effort I promoted her, although she is not fit for the eighth class. This year it is the same thing. Her sister Y is clever but lazy. Several times I have had to check myself from getting impatient. She is interested, but she rarely works and hardly gets any result. How to deal with such cases?
Continue to be patient. It is some kind of mental tamas: one day they will wake up.
Was the recent cyclone also brought by the transforming forces of the Divine?
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Nature is collaborating in her own way. All is meant for the growth of a spontaneous sincerity.
I write stories for my magazine. Now let me tell you a true story. A gentleman came here. He claimed to be a poor man, though he is building a four-storey house for himself and earns about Rs. 1200 to 1600 per month. He wanted to have your "special darshan" and you refused—it was so unkind. The poor man then made up his mind that if you change your mind and see him, he will give you Rs. 10 and his wife will give Rs. 15—and still you did not meet him. It was impossible for him to give Rs. 100, as suggested by a friend, for the simple reason that he did not have that much. When he went back, broken-hearted, he was caught by the crowd of students in Andhra. He had to beg and plead for mercy and by divine grace he could at once offer Rs. 500 to get out of their hands!!
The same story, with small differences in the setting, could be told so many, many times!...
And what about the stories of the efficiency of the Divine Grace? They are less in number perhaps, but so much more comforting!...
Z came to me last night. We had a very long talk
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about his work. He seems to have gone with a calm satisfaction. If only I could work half as well as I can speak on the subject! Alas, that does not happen. Sometimes I fear that I am losing interest in work. Even in the work connected with fruits I am not half as enthusiastic as I used to be. It may be that I am losing interest or getting old or learning to work without feverish activity. You alone know.
I see it as the advent of Wisdom leading to true equality.
Well, one thing is sure—with you I am rich and receive some money. With most of the others I am poor and have debts....
Since X has taken over the mill the flour is not good, so the bread does not rise properly and it remains hard. But people are saying that I have given orders to reduce the size of the bread for the sake of economy! X is reported to have said that I am standing in his way, otherwise he would have got control over the Bakery. As far as I know myself, I am not keen about being a departmental head; I have had enough taste of it. At the same time I do not want to run away from a task given to me. If I have to continue, please show me some way of being more useful. If you have someone else in view, I won't mind in the least to step aside.
I wanted you to look after the money, because it was the only way to be sure that the money would come to me.
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But the organisation of the working of that section can be given to others provided they agree to collaborate.
I ask you a little more time and patience and expect things to take a more definite form.
As for the displeasure of people they always grumble and complain. We have not to give it any importance.
(The disciple wrote that he would look after the organisation of the Bakery, Laundry and Dining Room, but could not keep their accounts since he did not know book-keeping.)
I am very fond of proper organisation. If those who organise want sincerely to do it, I require only clear and precise information. When this is given and there is sufficient trust in the Organising Power it is sufficient. The rest will be done.
About 1966
You must appreciate the human capacity for calling troubles. I was perfectly all right, in fine health. Then an idea came to me like a crow in the sky: "You speak of divine protection; look at Y and Z—now sick—who are much more useful than you." I chased out the idea, but not before receiving a little kick in the shape of a cold. But luckily the Protection does not care for my stupidity.
It is not a question of usefulness. For the Grace to have a perfect and total result of Its action, the faith must be total and perfect. Where???
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One worker of the Bakery has gone and X is going on the 6th. We need two persons there and one for the Dining Room.
I have no contact with people now and no exterior means to find workers. The only hope is in the capacity of the invisible Power!
Y, who works with me, has given a sealed letter for you. Perhaps he wants to import his children. Last year you had said that you will allow them when the situation improves.
The situation has not improved, but if he is a good worker, it is better to let him bring his family.
I know the difficulty and am trying, but very few, now-a-days, are those who sincerely want to work.
Whenever I hear of somebody I immediately send him or her to you. But it does not seem to be very effective!
A student of mine has written an essay where she says that we are expected to have nothing to do with sex and yet each time we speak we must remember sex so that we may not make a mistake in gender!
This is just a joke... or, a twist of the mind and a clever way of
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refusing to understand what is truly meant by the advice.
We received an oral assurance from the Government of India that they would subscribe to 500 copies of Hindi "Purodha". The official order got delayed by 7 months. We have printed more copies for them and now they want only 150!
I never thought of money all these years. Now I have to ask you for more and more!!
What to do? On all sides it is like that. It seems a new problem that has to be solved miraculously: to receive much less, and yet to spend much more!
Will any doctor believe that yesterday when I was writing my letter to you the swelling of my groin was so big that I had difficulty in walking. This morning when you received my letter, I began to feel that it was shrinking. By the time I got your reply it was reduced to half. Now I can run! The swelling of the foot also goes down in the same way, but neither goes away completely. They reach a point where they are harmless and then the progress stops.
This gives the exact measure of your body's receptivity. Concentrate the force on the diseased parts and they will improve.
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Ambitious plans generally fall flat. It is better to go slow and steady.
(In the following letter, the words "choice" and "abyss" refer to the Mother's New Year message of 1967: "Men, countries, continents! The choice is imperative: Truth or the abyss.")
The choice was made long ago. There is no progress towards it. The abyss seems to be gaping just in front, yet there is a confidence that it will be removed from the way.
The confidence is quite legitimate. The message is only for those who are still asleep and quite satisfied with their sleep.
Z is asking me to write some Hindi articles on subjects like meditation, work, surrender, etc. He says that I am the only one who can write properly. I feel that it would be like a blind man leading the blind. Looking at myself I wonder what I know that I can tell others.
Go on writing. How do you know if the inspiration is not ready, waiting to come to you?
10 February 1967
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For "Purodha" you asked me to write on subjects connected with Sadhana, and the first article I have written is on meditation!! And yet once you said that if I were to be punished I could be asked to meditate for half an hour!
I never said that you were not capable of writing on the subject!
I am having difficulty in writing for "Purodha". I can very well see the hollowness of what I write. The life is missing. And yet I have to write because I have the responsibility of the monthly.
Call Sri Aurobindo to your help, and it will be all right.
Beware of what is repeated to you in my name—the spirit in which it has been said is lost!
29 March 1967
(After relating several problems:) What stories on a day like the 29th! Let me not get the contagion of bitterness.
When we get bitter we lose our Divine contact and become very "bitterly" human...
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I am not bitter for the simple reason that I am losing my sense of responsibility (the words do not convey the proper sense). It is X who is getting more and more bitter—even against you. He feels that soon all of us whom he calls people of the old lot will be thrown out in a helpless condition. I was praying that I may not get the infection.
All that happens is to teach us one and the same lesson. Unless we get rid of our ego there is no peace either for ourselves or for the others. And without ego the life becomes such a wonderful marvel!...
Perhaps you know that our quota of sugar has been reduced. I would like to have guidance from you about the new policy. If you like, I shall give you the details of consumption.
I learnt that yesterday and can only tell you: do for the best.
If you use sugar for me, stop it completely. It can be replaced by glucose if need be.
I suppose all these are to teach us to be plastic.
You seem to think that you are a very big eater! If you stop sugar it will save a lot! From 1951 or so I have not used sugar for you because you had asked me not to
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do so. In the morning almond drink I use honey and in the evening sugar-cane juice. If the pomegranate juice needs sweetening I use sugar-cane juice.
I am very glad to hear that you are not putting sugar in my drinks. I find them quite sweet enough as they are and congratulate you for your remembrance of what I said—it is indeed an uncommon fact!...
In the context of your recent messages to the school emphasising the future: As a language teacher I have been laying great stress on the Ramayana and the songs of Kabir, Mira, etc. and the stories of the Upanishads and the Mahabharata. Please tell me what to do. If I stop them as belonging to the past, how to replace them? If I continue them, shall I not be going against your current?
Not at all. It is the attitude that is important.
Even in the lower classes I lay stress upon the stories of Indian literature. We have no vision of the future and if we discard all these as things of the past, then what will remain in the literature?
The past must be a spring-board towards the future, not a chain preventing us from advancing.
As I said—all depends on the attitude towards the past.
As I can see it, for myself the best thing would be to give up teaching and writing and go back to purely physical work and wait for the advent. But that would mean
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finding fault with you, because it is you who gave me these works against my apparent wishes.
And I continue to give you the work. If you feel that a change is needed it can be in the attitude giving more importance to what is to be said and realised and using the past as a preparation for the future.
This is not a very difficult thing to do—and I am quite sure that you will easily do it.
(The disciple wrote that in the Dining Room kitchen many workers were upset with the decisions of one of their supervisors. His letter ends:)
In such conditions please see that the work does not deteriorate. The Kitchen has no good workers. It is one of the most neglected departments. I hope something better will come out of all this conflict. I believe in miracles.
When human passions guide the work, I can only stand apart as a witness. I am politely informed of what is decided—never asked for what is to be done.
I cannot give orders because if orders were disobeyed it would automatically lead to a catastrophe.
So there is nothing else to do than to wait patiently for the passions to cool down and... hope for the best.
Perhaps some people may wake up to the necessity of working hard...
On the last few occasions I have felt very tired after Darshan work. During this period I do not do much
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physical work, I do not get nervous or excited, and this time I did not feel the sense of personal responsibility either. But I remain present all the time and at the end I feel dead tired. If I have to work I feel all right, but the fatigue comes after that. Why? What to do?
It is because you are receptive to the Force when you work and that sustains you. But when you are not under the strain of the work you are less receptive. You must learn to be receptive in all circumstances and always—especially when you take rest—it must not be the "rest" of inertia but a true rest of receptivity.
The Dining Room mats are very much torn. Before asking for new ones, I would like to know whether we shall continue to have mats or go for tables and stools on a large scale. At present we have two rooms with tables and stools, the rest with mats.
There will always be people who like better to sit on the floor. Ask for the mats.
Can you tell me how long it took you to plan this creation and who was there to execute it?
Nothing in advance. Everything immediate—directly, spontaneously without any intermediary. The intervention of intermediaries has mostly complicated matters rather than simplified them. A rather long story to say.
13 May 1967
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Before 1947 you had said that India was suffering from something like cancer: each limb was trying to grow at the cost of the others. We could not see it at that time. Today all can see the cancer and even leprosy. But for your presence the whole thing is dark as dark can be. Is a full destruction needed before India fulfills her mission? Will it take a very long time?
When there is some work to do, the least one speaks of it the better it is.
Y has long been friendly with me and now she is coming to me for advice. Sometimes she feels very lonely and thinks of getting married. Sometimes she feels that her place is in the Ashram and the other things are useless. I never give her direct advice, but I would like to know whether she is meant for this life and what line I should take when she comes with her difficulty.
The fact of being here proves that there is an aspiration somewhere in her being and with help the aspiration can spread in the whole being.
(The disciple informed the Mother about a shortage of fruits and sugar in the Ashram.)
Sugar is useful mostly for children, for the others it can be replaced by something else.
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Surely, all this comes to teach us to have a quiet faith that what is truly needed we shall have and that, for the rest, we must not bother!
Z is so keen to control the Dining Room. If you don't mind, let him take charge of it from December when you reorganise.
I do not see how it is possible for many reasons that I cannot write here. I am not reorganising, I am simply adding a kitchen15 because the number of people has increased so much that to cook for such a big quantity at a time becomes difficult.
Moreover the food for the school children and the food for the Ashramites needs to be somewhat different, as children need special food for growing.
Can you tell me why in Sri Aurobindo's Ashram, in your presence, everyone seems to think of food, physical culture and the doctor for keeping good health? The Divine help may take a fourth place if it likes. It is difficult, at present, for one to speak of your help. People seem to think that by speaking of your help either one is trying to show off or is a fanatic.
Sri Aurobindo said that the physical was to be taken into the yoga and not rejected or neglected. And almost all here thought
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they were doing yoga in the physical and fell the prey of the physical "needs" and desires...
To speak frankly, I like better that mistake than that of the so-called ascetics who are full of contempt, bad will and scornful feelings for the others.
No time to say all that could be said on the subject.
But... the criticising spirit is more destructive than many bad habits.
I never scorned my body nor did I adore it, although I have a leaning towards asceticism. I was not criticising anyone yesterday.
My remark was not meant for you but a very general statement.
But I feel sorry, angry or disgusted when people come to me moaning about their health and tell me that they have done this and that, yet there is no improvement. Then I can see from their face that they won't trust me if I ask them to have faith in you. They will think that I do not want to give more milk or fruit, so I tell these stories. It is this that I find disappointing.
Why disappointing! If there is one in a hundred who has a true faith, it is already a miracle!
I have been reading the autobiography of the present Dalai Lama. Is there any truth in the legend of the Dalai Lama's rebirth and discovery?
At one time I knew their legend, but now I have forgotten it. So I can say nothing about it, except this general statement—that
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man can imagine nothing that has not happened at least once; so there is always a truth behind the statement. The mistake is to generalise and make a rule of it.
I have seen your messages about tests. I fully agree that examinations are useless. Personally I have some questions. I teach a language. I have to see whether my students have a grasp over the language. In one of my classes I have replaced tests by essays. The result is satisfactory. But what to do in such cases:
1) X—She has a good grasp of Hindi, but she is very careless, does not work and is often absent.
2) Y—Very intelligent and capable, but she has always shirked from work and tried to cheat me by her sweet and intelligent talk. I had to give up.
3) Z—Very much interested, she can appreciate literature, but she cannot write one sentence correctly.
There are others in the same category in various degrees in the lower classes.
Those who are insincere do not truly want to learn but to get good marks or compliments from the teacher—they are not interesting.
Is it possible for a teacher to know by his inner contact whether the student knows the language well and can be promoted? W was wonderful in my class for ten days in a year; on the rest of the days she was just a listener. I always promoted her on the basis of the possibility expressed on those ten days.
It is all right.
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Naturally the teacher has to test the student to know if he or she has learnt something and has made a progress. But this test must be individual and adapted to each student, not the same mechanical test for all of them. It must be a spontaneous and unexpected test leaving no room for pretence and insincerity. Naturally also, this is much more difficult for the teacher, but so much more living and interesting also.
I enjoyed your remarks about your students. They prove that you have an individual relation with them—and that is essential for good teaching.
Feeling very unwell at night for the last three days. But as soon as it is time when I can report to you, I am all right. Deep breath was always my strong point. Due to fat it has become shallow and heaven knows what else!
If you want to breathe properly you can.
The time has come to rely only on the Divine Will and to let it work FREELY through you.
This is the same answer as the one I wanted to send to you yesterday but I had no time to write.
I repeat—the time has come at last, not to rely any more on one's own petty will, to hand over the whole affair to the Divine's Will and to let It do Its work through you, not only through your mind and feelings, but mainly through the body—and if you do it sincerely, all this body nonsense will disappear and you will be strong and fit for your work.
28 July 1967
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It is very difficult to understand what exactly you want in the field of education, but from what I can understand it seems that all we are doing is pretty useless. Hindi poetic literature has some higher things, but what are those heights in comparison to what you want? If we want to learn good language and proper usage, we have to read stories and novels which are of a very low type because they portray human life as it is.
The difficulty comes when I have to do what I know is not what you want, and I have no courage to throw myself completely in your hands.
Your difficulty comes from the fact that you have still the old belief that, in life, there are some high things and some low things. It is not exact. It is not the things or activities that are high or low, it is the consciousness of the doer which is true or false.
If you unite your consciousness with the Supreme Consciousness and manifest It, all you think, feel or do becomes luminous and true. It is not the subject of the teaching which is to be changed, t is the consciousness with which you teach that must be enlightened.
The Kitchen does not give water for drinking. It requires it only for cooking. It is our bad luck that draws this comment about people falling ill. Of course, our filters are not perfect, but that is another story. No wonder that people blame us for everything.
I am blaming nothing, nor anybody and know that each one
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does the best he can. It is evident that the job is very difficult. But are we not here to conquer difficulties?
I am giving in the October issue of "Purodha" your message: "At the very moment when everything seems to go from bad to worse, it is then that we must make a supreme act of faith and know that the Grace will never fail us." I do not quite understand "we must make a supreme act of faith".
I mean act according to our inner conviction regardless of all consequences and keep our faith unshaken in spite of the apparent so-called proofs to the contrary.
Many people will come here in February for your ninetieth birthday. Statistics and calculations are being heaped upon me, showing me all possible difficulties and yet I am almost blind towards them. I think that in spite of all defects you will find a way, and things will go smoothly. I feel that if I cannot have more and stronger contact with you in my work, then it is useless to be a departmental head. An ordinary hotel manager will do better.
Please give me whatever is necessary for this occasion.
Statistics and calculations are purely mental, and here all mental rules are constantly contradicted by the working of the higher Force.
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Your inner reaction is mostly correct. But you cannot be convinced by it, because for a long time it was mixed up with an ego reaction.
Now the mixture is getting less and less. So it is to be hoped that next year it will be totally overcome—and then things will be clear and simple for you... if not for everybody.
(The disciple wrote to the Mother about an Ashram school circular on the subject of homework.)
This has come up after receiving many letters from both parents and children complaining that because of homework the children go to bed late and are very tired as they do not sleep enough.
I know that all these complaints are exaggerated, but they are also the indication that some progress must be done in the routine.
This project has to be worked out in its details with plasticity and suppleness.
I am not for treating all the children in the same way, it makes a kind of uniform level, advantageous for those that are backward, but detrimental to those who can rise above the common height.
Those who want to work and learn must be encouraged but the energy of those who dislike studies must be turned to another outlet.
Things are to be arranged and organised. The details of execution will be fixed later on.
26 September 1967
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Once a worker goes to the school he becomes "an important person" and ignores work. I wish something could be done to remove that stigma from the school. Teachers and students expect more concessions and conveniences. They stick to the school to avoid work. And if they go for any work they do not give their full and are not very helpful.
Or perhaps they are special beings16 who have come for something else and we expect the wrong things from them!
The greater beings are always the most simple and modest.
I seek your guidance about promotion in the classes....
X is very weak and irregular. If she wants she can do well, and since Y's birthday celebration she has become more intelligent. She was a star there.
Intelligence and capacity of understanding are surely more important than regularity in work. Steadiness may be acquired later.
I give freedom to my students to say what they like. Sometimes they write morbid things. Someone has written: "Youth is meant for enjoyment; useless old fellows
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say we must work for the future, etc." They know what is the truth and yet they write such things. What attitude should I take? I do not want them to say things to please me as some do.
You can tell them that if they do not believe they can learn here something that is not taught elsewhere, they can very well change school... we shall not miss them.
It is better to have a selected few than a commonplace mass.
Last night I was reading what Sri Aurobindo has written about the French Revolution. After this, one feels that all that we read, study or learn is only a heap of falsehood, so why strive to attain that falsehood?
I suppose it is only as a gymnastic for the mind!
I heard the programme on the radio in which our boys took part. I think such programmes can be quite useful. But I was not happy about the performance of our boys.
I do not know whether you give any importance to what is called general knowledge. All four boys were asked, "Who are the Arcot brothers?" None knew. They are very important people in Madras in the field of education and politics. Their 81st birthday is being celebrated and the papers are full of their pictures. The
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local people will take it to mean that we do not take interest in the South and look down upon them, as the D.M.K.17 always says.
Sorry to say that I did not know myself the existence of these very important people! Consequently I am convinced that one can be wise without knowing them...
We cannot give more importance to the south of India than to the rest of the world—and upon earth there are so many very valuable people of whom we do not know the existence!...
There is one Mahesh Yogi who has become very popular in Europe. He started a Yoga University and now he is starting an international city—evidently he copies you. He has made a graph of meditation. I send it to you. It seems it is transcendental!
Everything and anything can be an instrument for the Supreme Wisdom to prepare the earth in view of the new creation!...
28 November 1967
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I have been rather unwell for the last three or four days. Diarrhoea and vomiting are the symptoms. Generally this happens when my mind is upset, but this time it
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is not so. I did not eat for three days and I was all right. Yesterday I took some food and again the problem has started. The real reason must be somewhere else.
It is due to restlessness and agitation. What is the matter?
Bring down peace, the Divine Peace in your stomach and it will be all right.
I am not aware of any restlessness or agitation in me except butterflies in the stomach sometimes. Rather for the last few days I have been dull. Generally I call your peace and it never fails. This time there is a strike! The call does not arise.
That is serious! Try to find out "why?"
I can't say why I feel too dull to call you; that is for you to reply. Such dull periods come after the bright periods when everything seems to call you and be dedicated to you. In these dull periods, nothing but tamas seems to rule. Generally they pass after a few days.
This is a proof that your whole being is not unified around the central psychic Presence.
This is a personal task that each individual must do for himself. The help is always there but the effectivity of its action is in measure of the receptivity and the conscious appeal.
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After all, it is a question of patience in the endeavour.
Once again I slipped out of the Protection. This is rather bad. I fell in the rain on the terrace between the fruit room and Z's room. All the glasses on the fruit-juice tray were broken. I escaped with a few bruises. Perhaps it is a pointer towards lack of receptivity. You alone can cure it. Do not leave it to my effort!
It is rather the other way round—be passively confident; let me do it... and it is done. Since your last letter there is a strong and almost constant concentration of Force upon you. Rightly received, you ought to be quite all right.
X, the Hindi poet who comes here often, writes that he is being pressed to return the titles that he got from the Government of India; he has received the Padma Bhushan award. In that case he will have to give up his service also. This would be to protest against the language policy of the Government. He wants your advice. What shall I tell him?
Why should he listen to threats? He must act according to the inner command and not according to public opinion.
Shall I give him the idea of Sanskrit as an all-India language?
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A young man from Ludhiana—Y—has received a wire from his wife. Someone is sick there. He has been asked to fly back. He wants your instructions and blessings.
Is it very necessary? Generally these calls are not quite sincere.
In the agreement we signed with the labourers of the Blanchisserie, we merged their dearness allowance with their wages. All over India labour is demanding this. But here, as we did it of our own accord, they now want to change it. I have agreed, after Z explained the whole situation to them, to do what they want—and they want what is less advantageous to them. They cannot believe that we can do something that may be more advantageous to them. How can one remove this distrust?
Can you make the blind see?
The whole of humanity—with very few exceptions—distrusts the Divine and yet His Grace is most active.
Just a question, if you care to answer it. The Ramayana says that when Rama saw that his work on the
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earth was finished, he entered the river Sarayu along with his companions. One should not judge an Avatar's deeds, but this act looks like mass suicide and suicide is regarded as the greatest sin. How to explain this?
1) For the Supreme there is no sin.
2) For the devotee there is no greater sin than to be far from the Lord.
3) At the time when the Ramayana was conceived and written, the knowledge revealed by Sri Aurobindo that the earth will be transformed into a divine world and an abode of the Supreme was not known or accepted.
If you consider these three points you will understand the legend (although it may be that the actual facts were not as they have been told).
A common friend writes that Vinoba Bhave would like to know what exactly Mother says about Sanskrit being the common national language of India.
I may add, do you expect the difficult grammar of Sanskrit to be learnt by all? Will it be for common use or only for ceremonial purposes, like Latin in England?
For common use I was thinking of a simplified Sanskrit from the grammatical point of view. But of course, I do not know if it is possible.
Is it correct to prepare your drinks etc. when one is not well mentally or physically? The mind gives well-balanced arguments on both sides.
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If you stop preparing the drink I shall have to go without it. If you prepare when you are unwell I have to work out the difficulty. So the only remedy is to be all right when you prepare the drink—it will be good for both of us...
I have worked in the Dining Room for 30 years now. If you think it would be better to have younger people for the pressing needs of the future, I shall willingly step aside—I mean it.
In my work I did not plan at all. I left it to you and you never failed me. Let this experience grow.
For the sake of the work, it is better if you continue because you can call and feel me, rather than a youngster perhaps full of unused energy but who believes that he is doing the work. There may be some other good reasons for you to continue the work, like honesty and sincerity, etc. but that need not be mentioned.
(The disciple asked whether he should accept a fan offered to him, noting at the end of the letter his ascetic tendency:)
I still have a shrinking from things of comfort.
Shrinking is as bad as desire—so have the fan and let the Divine's will be done, for—after all—it is always His will that prevails!
15 April 1968
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In 1960 you had practically cured the filarial swelling of my right leg and foot. About a week back the swelling of the leg came back with a revenge. It is hot, there is tension, itching and sometimes pain. I have to limp, the foot has become almost double in size.
There must have been a serious fall in your faith; because the force is working in the same way (it has even often proved to be stronger), but the more the faith is genuine the more the force is effective.
X has sent me two workers. He told me that there is difficulty about their accommodation, but the Press has got a house for its workers, so I should give these workers to the Press and they will get accommodation. Something in me revolts against this kind of idea; on the same analogy I can say the Dining Room is feeding people so it must have all the workers.
Indeed for giving work two things are to be considered, need on one side and capacity on the side of the workers; the rest has the taste of diplomatic falsehood.
Several times you have told me about "a fall in my faith". Truly I do not understand it. Sincerely I do not know whether I have or do not have faith. It matters little whether my leg improves or not; but let me have some faith.
To say the truth I do not care much about your having or not believing you have faith, what I want is that you should be all
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right and do your work happily. With you, concerning your body, I was accustomed to a very remarkable receptivity and a rapid cure—that is the cause of my remark.
It is true that "we" are passing by a difficult period ("we" means the world) but those who remain steady will get out of it much stronger than before.
Nobody except you will believe me when I say that yesterday my leg was swollen up to the knee. It was hot and stiff, the foot was double the normal size. Then I received your note. My eyes could see the swelling going down. Every minute it was less and in a few minutes, the swelling remained only up to the ankle and the lower portion was much better. In about half an hour it was almost normal. After a few hours some swelling has come back. I am sure I will not have to bother you again, it will go—no credit goes to my faith!
Bravo! This is right, the true thing and must continue.
My newly trained teachers, X, Y and Z, are trying to do their work properly, but I find that their classes lack life. They are dull. The whole class seems to be asleep. How to bring life in their work?
In the playground activities we have competitions and prizes. In the school have they been abolished?
The prizes belong to a rather low standard of life—but if we are still there...
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Do it, if you find it necessary.
I get very tired when people come to me in connection with their personal difficulties. I feel the fatigue when they are gone. I call you and recover in about 5 to 10 minutes. Yesterday X came to me after a long time and narrated all her family affairs. I was full of life but as soon as she left I felt completely run down. My whole body was dead tired and even after 24 hours I have not recovered.
Yes—it is because she takes without giving anything. But a little concentration while calling me and it will be over...
You told me that whenever I am in need, your inner guidance will be there. It does come, but often I cannot discriminate and take it as my own opinion and so I do not press it. Only the result shows that I made a mistake.
This is just the way of learning to discriminate!
According to a good many diners the quality of the Dining Room vegetable has improved very much. The quantity of milk has also increased. Still, every alternate day I am getting demands for vegetables, oil, spices, etc.
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and extra milk. The demands are made in matter of course as a right. How to deal with this? I give fruits freely when I have them.
Most of the people are simply greedy and their case deserves no consideration. It is only if, because of health, their case deserves consideration that you can be lenient.
(Regarding a Hindi translation of The Life Divine*)
What comes out from here must be a good translation, otherwise it is impossible. It is not a question of persons or of feeling. The work must be properly done, that is all.
Cases of apples from Mountain Paradise are stuck up somewhere on the way.
The quantity of milk has gone down very much. The situation may not improve for quite some time because many of our cattle have died. Vegetables are also scarce due to lack of rain. And still, we are being asked not to be miserly in giving.
So we must have faith and endure.
I was asked to write a small book on the life of Sri Aurobindo. I was to get Rs.1000 for it from the
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Government of India. I sent the manuscript. They have suggested many changes: No mention of his message on Cripps' proposals. (His quotations about the Chinese invasion, Korea, etc. are allowed.) Brahmacharya is a taboo. No unprovable things should be mentioned. I have refused to give them my book. Just for your information.18
But they will ask a book from somebody who knows nothing about Sri Aurobindo and who will say a lot of nonsense!...
What to do?...
5 September 1969
I am expecting Rs. 10,000 for the advertisements published in "Purodha" in the last few years. The first instalment of Rs. 500 has come. It wants to go to you.
I have two ideas about using this money: (1) Deposit it and with the interest send free copies of "Purodha" to schools and libraries; (2) Not to care for the future and use the whole amount for spreading the magazine up to the centenary so that your message may reach as many people as possible with the amount. I am not able to take a decision. Please advise.
I am not for getting interest on money. So use it in another way as you think best.
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I am in a fix. If someone gives Rs. 125 to "Purodha" he becomes a life-member. That money is deposited with Y in his firm and he gives us Rs. 14 every year as interest. Since you do not approve of taking interest on money, what shall I do in this case? We have about 40 life-members and recently we have been getting more. Also, "Purodha" has some money in the bank on which we get interest. Please guide.
What I see is the world of tomorrow, but the world of yesterday is still alive and will still live for some time. Let the old arrangements go on so long as they are alive.
Upon earth, the changes are slow to come.
Do not worry—and keep hope for the future.
I am rather disappointed with my work in the school this year. I am trying to have the initiative come from the students. I put dozens of proposals before them as to what we might do and how we could do it. But I get absolutely no response, no initiative, no proposals—as if I were speaking to a wall. Yet the students are good, friendly and intelligent. Something must be missing in me that in spite of my best effort I get no response. I feel like leaving the class. For the first time I am having this experience. Yesterday I was on the point of saying that I am not coming to the class any more. Something stopped me. Even in this class, if I impose my will I get a good response.
Why should you not impose your will? It is evidently more
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enlightened than theirs and has the right to lead them.
Of course, it is out of the question for you to leave the class—but use your will and make it advance.
In 1919 Sri Aurobindo wrote that the chaos and the calamities were perhaps the pangs of the birth of a new creation. How long are these pangs going to continue—in the Ashram, in India and eventually in the world?
It will continue until the world is ready and willing to receive the new creation; the consciousness of this new creation is already at work upon earth since the beginning of this year.
If, instead of resisting, the people were collaborating, it would go quicker.
But stupidity and ignorance are very obstinate.
X, Y and Z will be the partners in this project to construct a factory named Auro-steel. They will invest various sums of money. How should the profits be distributed? In proportion to their investment or some other way? X's will be the biggest share. All told it needs Rs. 2 lakhs.
They do not seem to know that in Auroville after all expenses are paid, including their own maintenance, the profits go to the town.
17 October 1969
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I am not very happy about "Purodha". It is still very much based upon the past and cannot see its way in the future.
The future is necessarily better than the past. We have only to push forward.
Your note about reading newspapers19 was shown to me yesterday. Now tell me personally for myself. I have been reading regularly since I was 13. If you say that I have to stop reading them, I can.
Not necessary to stop. You must have got the discrimination.
Before I begin to think that it is a fabrication of my mind, let me tell you that just before Darshan I had a boil of the size of a table-tennis ball in a very awkward place on the buttock. Movement had become difficult. Before sleeping I told you, "This won't do. If this remains I will have to remain in bed during the Darshan week." I am not sure whether it is possible, but in the morning the boil had moved about 3 inches away from the awkward spot, giving me full freedom of movement; in a day or two it burst and now it is dried
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up. I still wonder whether actually the boil could move in this way.
Anything may happen. It is only our "logical" minds which put limitations. I must congratulate your body for its receptivity.
Before coming here I was very eager to learn German, but I could not get an opportunity. Now an opportunity has come knocking at my door. I am not keen. If it is useful for me, I shall learn; otherwise not. Tell me what to do.
If the opportunity came it means that it can be useful.
A college student who seems to be eager to come out of the ordinary life has been writing to me often. He writes very frankly. He says that he tries to meditate on your photograph, but recently he has begun to feel a strong boy-and-girl-like attraction for you. He wants my advice.
It may be that the photo is an ancient one. He must take one of the latest photographs.
Otherwise he must pull up the sensation and offer it in the heart centre.
21 April 1970
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A fear is arising in me. From my childhood up to the time of coming here, I had an ambition for being a leader amongst men and I tried to prepare myself for that. When I came here, it was washed off. The other day X and Y forcibly took me to their youth conference and compelled me to speak. They say that I spoke well and they have decided that whenever they have a conference here I will have to speak. I am afraid that the old ambition may come back in a new form and bloat my ego. Please save me from becoming another Z.
You are safe. You have only to remember as I do, that it is always Sri Aurobindo that speaks whenever we try to say something sensible.
I was taken to Auroville a few weeks back. I was very happy to see the people working there. Here were the people against whom we hear all sorts of bad reports. They were busy with hard labour. Not many of us can do so much. You know that it is not easy to satisfy me with work, but I was truly happy.
I am very happy with what you write and fully agree. So all is well.
23 June 1970
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Some of my sincere workers are asking me whether they should join Sri Aurobindo's Action. I have told them that they are a part of Mother's action. They need not leave this and run after that.
In "Purodha" half the pages are devoted to translations of your and Sri Aurobindo's writing. In the rest there are other subjects including stories based on some aspect of your teachings. You told me that what I wrote was not important, it is the consciousness from which I wrote that was more important. Now some friends are telling me that I must fall in line with Sri Aurobindo's Action. I do not understand what it means. What line would you like me to take for "Agni", the new magazine for young people? Would you suggest any change in "Purodha" in view of Sri Aurobindo's Action?
No change—it is quite all right.
As for "Agni"—children must be taught that life can be beautiful.
Hindi is good only for those who belong to a Hindi speaking province. Sanscrit is good for all Indians.
About 1970
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(Wrongly informed that Sri Aurobindo favoured Hindi as the national language of India, the disciple asked the Mother on what basis she had written: "The Sanskrit ought to be the national language of India.")
I said Sanscrit because Sri Aurobindo had told me so.
A regular campaign goes on against the Dining Room. This complaint is coming from the same quarters again and again. I will be happy to retire in favour of somebody who may be acceptable to my critics so that you may not be bothered again and again.
Without you I will have bothers all the time. So for my sake, it is better if you continue your work.
4 May 1971
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(The disciple wrote about two persons closely connected in work who were bitter towards each other.)
All bitterness in life always comes from the ego refusing to abdicate.
Undated
Mother, May I know what is more convenient for you: if I have some business with you, should I speak to you in person or write to you?.
You can always speak to me and it may be more convenient, because if I have any question to put, I can put it at once and the problem can be solved at once.
(The disciple then explained his difference of opinion with a co-worker)
Useless to say that you and X are both right (or wrong); it is two aspects of the question and other points of view can be adopted too. The only thing to keep in mind is that nobody is completely right or completely wrong and decisions cannot be taken favouring this or that point of view. Let each one do his best according to what he thinks or feels to be the best and... the Divine Consciousness will manage the results.
It is much easier to clear your head than to let you quit. In fact the second alternative is perfectly impossible. I need you
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here and have no intention to let you go. To say the truth, I consider that to abandon the responsibility and the work I have given you would be much more unfaithful than to have some unpleasant (but fugitive) reactions because of inevitable fluctuations in certain details of the work.
Take the whole disturbance in you more as the result of an attack (the test) of some adverse force than of minor changes in the organisation of the work.
I feel that you are already out of the confusion, but I send you this so that no trace even of it should be left...
Do not mind the apparent contradictions. There is a Truth to be found behind.
Cheer up, all will be all right, if we know how to last and endure.
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A happy cat sketched by the Mother to cheer up her unhappy disciple
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