Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(It is the eve of August 15. Mother sees Satprem having been unable to finish seeing her usual entourage.)
Is there something you'd like to say?
No, nothing at all!
I am all right—even quite all right.
I am quite all right. The body is beginning to... I could say to have the true attitude. I mean it increasingly feels in a concrete manner and, I could say, ACUTE manner that there is only ONE way to exist—in the Divine Consciousness. All the rest seems... seems to it dangerous, unknown.
To remain as though constantly bathed in the Divine Consciousness seems to the body the only way to exist. There is no other. That's the attitude of the body. It feels... you see, it's more than an impression, it's.... I don't know, almost an acute sensation, that one can exist only in the Divine and be constantly concentrated upon the Divine. And that such is the transition to go towards something that is still... I wouldn't say a dream, but a wonder. THAT....
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It likes less and less to speak.
Yes!
All words seem childish to it.
(silence)
It has no need to know anything: it has a need of being entirely molded, set in motion and used in every way [by the Divine], and it has but one dream—to forget that it exists—to become spontaneously the expression... (Mother has a blissful smile) of something... of something it calls the Divine, which is the only true thing.
And what is Sri Aurobindo doing?... Do you see him?
I don't "see" him—I feel his presence.
Recently I read some of his letters about me.... How? It's really a miracle that I survived [his passing].... My whole... [being collapsed]. He was such a marvelous protection and support!
The inner being wasn't affected because that remained the way it was—the closeness, the intimacy remained the same—but the physical being.... It's a miracle it survived.
Several days ago I saw Sri Aurobindo and he was busy with money—he was receiving money, he was even receiving things in gold.1
(Mother laughs)
That surprised me.
Why?
I don't know, I didn't imagine him having that kind of activity.
That wasn't necessary because I was there.2 But I know he was interested, in the sense that he thought money should come very freely and abundantly. He always thought that people should give
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all they had—for him that was an absolute rule. One shouldn't have to ask—they should spontaneously give all they had.
(silence Mother takes Satprem's hands)
Next Wednesday we'll be quieter.
The body has only one ambition, I could say, that only the Divine exist and that it be like... like something the Divine uses and is absolutely malleable and expressive. That's all. Until such time when it will exist only in the Divine.
There's a kind of prescience of a state in which there is only the Divine Consciousness. That.... (Mother intently closes her eyes with an ecstatic smile.)
Only the Divine Consciousness.
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