Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
This is my Christmas message:
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"The time has come for the rule of falsehood to end. In the Truth alone is salvation."
So, what have you brought?
I have received a brief note from P.L. You had said that the people at the Mission should be "calmed down," they were creating a lot of difficulty, and you said we could ask P.L. to do something. So he's done something.
Aha!
He says this:
"I spoke to Cardinal Tisserant1 about the problem you mentioned. He is writing this very day to the bishop of Pondicherry along the lines you gave me—he is indignant to learn that you are the object of such un-Christian manifestations and feelings. I hope this letter will 'calm down' the Mission."
Oh, they're not stirring anymore, that must be it. I don't hear about them anymore. Precisely, I noticed yesterday or the day before that they had grown completely quiet. That must be the reason. So you can tell him that for the moment everyone is quiet, things are all right.
(Mother looks for a paper on the table)
Send him the Christmas message. And then this:
"The red lotus is the flower of Sri Aurobindo, but specially for his centenary we shall choose the blue lotus, which is the colour of his physical aura, to symbolise the centenary of the manifestation of the Supreme upon earth."
A little later
I heard (yesterday, I think, or the day before) a letter of Sri Aurobindo's in which he said that for the Supermind to be fixed
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here (he had noticed that the Supermind came into him and withdrew, came back and withdrew—it wasn't stable), so he said: to become stable, it has to enter and settle in the physical mind.2 And that's just the work being done in me for months now: the mind has been removed, and the physical mind is taking its place, and for some time I had noticed that it was... (I told you that it was seeing everything in a different way, that its relationship with things was different), I have been noticing these past few days that the physical mind, the mind that is in the body, was becoming vast, its visions were comprehensive, and its whole way of seeing was absolutely different (Mother extends her arms in an immense, quiet gesture). I saw, that's it: the Supermind is working there. And I spend extraordinary hours.
What is left is just the things that resist—you feel (I told you this) that it's as if every minute (and it's getting more and more pronounced), every minute: do you want life, do you want death; do you want life, do you want death?... That's how it is. And life is union with the Supreme. And consciousness, a COMPLETELY new consciousness is coming. That's how it is, like this (Mother makes a gesture of swinging from one side to the other). But yesterday or the day before, I don't know, all of a sudden the body said, "No! I am through—I want life, I don't want anything else." And since then I've felt better.
Oh, it would take volumes to narrate what is happening. It's... remarkably interesting, and ENTIRELY new. Entirely new.
(Mother goes within)
Because of physical death, the subconscient is defeatist. You see, the subconscient feels that whatever the progress, whatever the effort, it will always end with that, because up until now, it has always ended like that. So then the work now being done is to try to bring faith and the certainty of the transformation into the subconscient. And that... is a struggle at each second.
(Mother goes back within until the end)
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