Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Mother caresses Satprem's swollen eye.)
No, no, it really doesn't hurt, Mother!... Do you have anything new?
It's moving—moving fast.
Because it's moving fast, it's excessive (gesture of straining).
For example, during the same meal, I eat without even noticing it, solely in the divine consciousness, then all of a sudden I am back—and I can't swallow anymore! I choke. It's very extreme, because it's going so fast. But I know what it is.
I just gave a meditation to X.1 It is not AT ALL what it used to be... (what shall I say?). There's a sort of quiet authority now. But he is receptive.
The Force... (Mother lowers her hands in an irresistible gesture), ooh! there's a great change.
(long silence)
I have received a letter from Indira.
Oh, really?
(Mother hands an envelope)
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Revered Mother, Through these critical months I have thought constantly of you. I can find no words with which to express my gratitude for your support. Your blessings are a great source of strength. Our difficulties are not over....
Revered Mother,
Through these critical months I have thought constantly of you. I can find no words with which to express my gratitude for your support. Your blessings are a great source of strength. Our difficulties are not over....
(Mother nods her head)
... The American administration is most upset that its calculations were so completely wrong, and they will use their power to try to humble us and specially to create division between Bangla Desh and ourselves. I think our nation has taken a step towards maturity. Yet there are many who look only to today. If India is to be great we must improve the quality of the minds of our people. I know that this is your desire. In my humble way I am trying to do what I can. With respectful regards, Yours sincerely, Indira Gandhi
... The American administration is most upset that its calculations were so completely wrong, and they will use their power to try to humble us and specially to create division between Bangla Desh and ourselves. I think our nation has taken a step towards maturity. Yet there are many who look only to today. If India is to be great we must improve the quality of the minds of our people. I know that this is your desire. In my humble way I am trying to do what I can.
With respectful regards,
Yours sincerely, Indira Gandhi
That's good, indeed.
It's good. So I replied this:
To Indira With blessings. India must be proud of your leadership. Let the country take its true place in the world for showing the way towards the supreme Truth. with love Mother
To Indira With blessings.
India must be proud of your leadership. Let the country take its true place in the world for showing the way towards the supreme Truth.
with love Mother
It's good she has taken this tack.
Yes, it's good.
I didn't think she was like that.
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But there are still many difficulties.
Oh!... Oh!... It's a scoundrel who's become the... [president of Pakistan, Bhutto].
Oh, you mean that one!
Quite a scoundrel. And he's killing his own people. Some teachers have been executed because they had a different opinion. He's committing atrocities in his own country.... In a way, it's what is needed to show the falsehood of the whole thing [the division of Pakistan and India].
And yet Pakistan's new president is putting up a democratic front.
By killing people!
Several provinces of West Pakistan have revolted against the people he had put in to govern them.2
We'll see.
Things are going fast.
I personally feel they're very grating.
Oh!... It's going fast. The faster it goes, the more it pulls.
I badly need your help—your active help.
What's wrong?
It's difficult.
The fastest way for me was... (how shall I put it?) the growing sense of my own nonentity—nonexistence. To feel I could do nothing, knew nothing, wanted nothing; but then the WHOLE being
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filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), an inescapable fact: "Without the Divine, nothing, nothing—I am nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine, nothing." To be like this (same gesture, hands open). And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful! And when I am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an effort to...), while this time... (Mother sharply lowers her hands), it was compelling. A compelling Presence—compelling. Extraordinary.... In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like, if it was going to be like before—not at all, it's like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).
So, it's going well.
But first there must be an absolute sincerity, that is, a CONVICTION: I am nothing, nothing—I can do nothing, I know nothing, I have absolutely NOTHING... (Mother raises an index finger) except the Divine. Then it's all right.
As I told you, it's so strong that at times I can't even eat; whereas when it's like this, when the consciousness becomes like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), I finish my dinner without even knowing I am eating.... It's inexpressible. But wonderful.
Only, there is no place for fear—if you're afraid, it becomes dreadful. Fortunately my body is not afraid.
(silence)
It's a bit difficult, yes, but... (Mother takes Satprem's hands).
The next time is the first.
Yes, Mother, Saturday the first—what luck!3
(Mother smiles) Yes, it will be all right.
Yes??
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(meditation, then such a beautiful smile, Mother hands the 1972 photo in which she looks like a Chinese baby smiling)
Do you have this?
Oh, this is so very charming!
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