Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
What news do you have?...
(long silence)
The problem is food. The doctors have put restrictions on everything I eat most easily, so it's....
Basically, I realize more and more that we live in total
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ignorance. We really don't know either what should be done or how to do it.
But surely that New Consciousness should make one do what is necessary.
I think we don't know how to listen.
We don't know how to listen....
(silence)
It's very difficult to disentangle the old impulse from the....
Yes, exactly.
It's very difficult.
Very difficult.
You see, our practical knowledge is based on an experience that has become worthless.
(long contemplation with her eyes open)
But it's better to make a mistake listening or trying to listen to the New Consciousness than to make a mistake listening to the doctors, isn't it?
(Mother smiles) But the Consciousness doesn't contradict anything.
You mean it's neutral?
The Consciousness doesn't argue.... I don't know how to explain it....
If there were a strong and clear indication, I would certainly listen to it, but that's not the case.... For instance, the cook is used to doing things a certain way and does them that way; the doctor says to give me such and such a thing and they listen to him.... But when I say, "I would like to have such and such a thing," they give it to me grudgingly, you know, almost as if it were a concession to gluttony! So....
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I live in such conventionality that it's very difficult.
And always the idea that I am o-l-d, I am getting o-l-d, and so for them my consciousness must be half dead. They don't have faith, what can you do!
Not all.
Only don't go repeating this. There's no need to say anything because they all do... each one does the best he can and really tries hard—they really try hard.
But I would need someone with vision who could tell me: Now you do this.
So I have taken the attitude of saying: let it be. I make myself as passive as possible—passive to the Divine Will—and I pray for it to guide me. That's the only way.
Do you hear me?
Yes, of course, Mother!
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