Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Satprem suggest several extracts from the Agenda for "Notes on the Way," the first being that of May 22 on the intervention of the Supreme Wisdom: "The possibility of a breathtaking success—not in the sky: here.")
That's quite good. It brings back the atmosphere.... Is it too soon to say it? I don't know.
Yes, perhaps, I had a little the same feeling also.
Yes, it's too soon. We should wait.
It's for the August Bulletin.
Yes, but August is very soon.... I don't know. We'll see next month whether we send it out or not, or keep it. At any rate, we will use it one day. It seems... I seem to be going too fast.
Yes, it does seem far-off.
Perhaps I don't have enough faith, that's possible!
I remember now (reading it brought back the atmosphere), I remember the state I was in.... I was ahead.
(Then Satprem suggests some extracts from the conversation of June 9 on the "onslaught of Falsehood" and in particular the passage on the dissolution of the ego.)
It's quite a current truth [the onslaught].
Oh, that [the dissolution of the ego] is perfect; that should be published, it's my everyday experience, every minute, all the time.... That should be published now.
You know, it's my experience every minute, for every single thing, constantly: for rest, for activity, for food, for everything, for action with people, for everything, everything; it's a kind of... I could almost say a possession by the Divine. And my body senses that it exists only like this (fists clenched, clinging to the Divine): without That, there is nothing. Ah, the experience is constant and total!
(Mother goes within)
It's interesting: EVERYTHING is useful—everything is useful,
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everything is necessary, in its place in time and space (it's something that is neither time nor space: in the Manifestation, we could say), and it becomes falsehood when it tries to last after its time is over. So what is needed is to be able to be within the Movement—the Movement of eternal Unfolding—where things... become truer and truer. For in the total and eternal Movement, all things become truer and truer.
(Mother goes back within)
A marvel!...
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