Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Concerning Satprem's difficulties)
I myself had felt that something in you, some part of the consciousness—a very external and superficial part—was pulling.
Yes, that's right.
And I was wondering how come?...
When it came, I went on saying: things are guided, therefore this has a reason and I have something to learn. But I see this thing is really untransformable.
It must be rejected from the nature. You see, it's something that has to be transformed from life to life—it must be eliminated from your personality.
(Satprem puts his head on Mother's knees, Mother bends down to kiss him)
I've suffered a lot.... May I be capable of serving you, Mother.
It's a part of the past that must disappear, and it clings on desperately—in a different form in each person.
(Mother goes within, gasping for breath, she tries to speak half in trance without success)
...To want only what God wants.
(Then Mother closes her eyes and smiles, palms open, and goes within)
To cling to the Divine like this (clenched fists). To cling... (Mother has tears in her eyes, she gasps)... so that the Divine alone carries us. That's all.
(Mother tries to speak half in trance)
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...All, we must be all aspiration, intense, intense and constant....
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