Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
All circumstances have been furiously teaching the body to... call all the time, all the time—to call the Divine. And so now it's got into the habit of repeating its mantra, and it repeats it ALL THE TIME. It's a curious thing: if it repeats it, everything runs smoothly; if it doesn't, it can't even swallow food—everything seems on the verge of falling apart; so it repeats its mantra, and everything goes quite well. When it thinks of nothing but the Divine, everything is fine. This morning, while I was having breakfast, that's how it was. It was so plain! If the body thinks about eating, everything goes wrong; if it repeats its mantra, it can absorb the food, it doesn't even notice it, everything becomes so easy. Very interesting.... The same goes for people: when
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they're here, if I think about them, if I think there are difficulties, then... (grating gesture), but if I am like this (peaceful gesture, immovable in the Lord), everything goes well, quite naturally.
It's a lesson, but a relentless one.
(silence)
And it has some old remnants of atavism. There's (Mother laughs) a sort of fear—an altogether childish fear: "If I think of the Divine, there are going to be difficulties to be overcome"; that's how it is in the cells (not everywhere, there's very little of it, like some old remnants of something dragging over from previous lives), so then I laugh. The body asks but one thing, to melt into the Divine, to be nothing but That, to cease to exist separately—then all is well. It's very interesting. It's really the sadhana of the body, and in quite a compelling way—absolutely compelling. And when it leaves That, it feels it's going to disintegrate the very next minute—that it is the only thing that keeps it together; without That, it doesn't exist anymore.
That became quite concrete today.
Humanity has a dread (it must have been necessary at one time, some thousands of years ago, I don't know), a dread of the Divine. The human animal. For him, it is equivalent to disappearing. And in effect it is the disappearance of the ego. And the disappearance of that [physical] ego... for a long time one has had the impression that if the ego disappears, the being disappears, the form disappears—but that's not true! It isn't true. In any case, it has become ready [Mother's body] to live without an ego.... The trouble is that life's ordinary laws no longer hold. Which means all the old habit, plus the new thing to be learned.
It's as if the cells—not the body's cells: the organization that makes up the form (that holds everything together and makes up a form, a form we call human), it's as if that had to learn it can go on living without the sense of separate individuality. Curious. Without the sense of ego. While for thousands of years it's been accustomed to existing separately only because of the ego—without ego it goes on... according to another law the body doesn't yet know, and which... it finds incomprehensible. It
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has nothing to do with a will, it's not... I don't know... a something... a way of being. But then, billions of ways of being.
It has to learn to be a certain way of being.
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