Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(First Mother informs Satprem that the article on "Sri Aurobindo and Bangladesh" has been translated into Hindi and sent to Delhi.)
There's an onslaught of adverse forces. A ferocious onslaught. But the Response is beginning to come—just a very small beginning. In each person there was like a storm, and it's not completely over. Everything you thought was conquered and pushed away is rushing back—in the most unexpected persons—under every guise, but mainly in the character, oh!... doubts, revolts, everything....
(silence)
I was asked for a message for all of India [in connection with the Bangladesh crisis]. I gave one.
(Mother hands the text)
Supreme Lord, Eternal Truth Let us obey Thee alone and live according to Truth.
There's a dreadful onslaught of Falsehood. It was as if everyone were lying, even the most unexpected persons—everywhere, but everywhere. And to me it was vivid (Mother makes a gesture of seeing it), oh, horrible! You can't imagine.... This, a little twisted to the right; that, a little twisted to the left, just a little twisted—nothing, not a thing was straight. Then the body asked, "And where is your own falsehood?" It took a look at itself. And it was that old
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story: "You must call the Lord only when it's important!... (Laughing) You can't expect to be with Him all the time!" So it got a good slap.
It wasn't aggressive, it had the appearance of humility—it got a good cuff.
There was a battering of unpleasant things—more than unpleasant: really, but really mean and nasty and destructive. A battering, until the body understood. Then this feeling came into the whole body, in all the cells, everywhere, all the time (it came to such a pitch that I could barely swallow food), until everything, all-all understood: "I exist only by the Divine, I can go on living only by the Divine... and I can be myself only by being the Divine." After that, it was better. Now the body has understood.
(long silence)
You have nothing to ask, nothing to say?
I feel a bad destiny hangs over me.
No, that's not true! It's part of the Falsehood, that's the Falsehood—it's part of the Falsehood. I had seen that, I have seen it; I have tried to remove it, I haven't succeeded.... There is no bad destiny, that's humbug! A downright lie. It isn't true—it isn't at all true, not at all, at all.
Here, that's just a perfect example for you: it's exactly like that—it's likewise everywhere (Mother makes a gesture with claws). I can almost see mean little devils with claws trying to hook onto each and everyone.
That's not true. It's not true, on the contrary! Quite the contrary, the course I saw [for you] recently is an increasingly beneficial influence over people through your writing, and something—I told you about it—which is spreading and is going to have an action everywhere. But of course the devil doesn't like that, so he tries... (gesture of claws). Ah, you should look straight at him and laugh—stick your tongue out at him like a naughty boy.
Well, in any case, one is assailed.
Oh, but I tell you, it's a massive onslaught—but it doesn't matter. We must rise above it, and then... (gesture of looking from above).
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What I said is the Truth, and the ONLY remedy:
to exist only for the Divine to exist only by the Divine to exist only to serve the Divine to exist only... by becoming divine.
There you are.
There isn't any "you," there isn't any "we must be patient," there isn't any "it will come in its own time," there isn't any... of all those very reasonable things, they don't exist anymore—it's That (Mother lowers her fist sharply), like a sword-blade. It's That. And it's That DESPITE EVERYTHING: the Divine. The Divine alone. All that hodgepodge of bad will and revolt and... all that (Mother raises an unalterable finger) has to be swept away.
And that which says that we will perish or be destroyed by That is the ego—it is Mr. Ego trying to pass himself off as the true being.
But the body has learned that even without ego it is what it is, because it is that by the Divine Will and not at all by the ego—we exist by the Divine Will and not by the ego. The ego was a means—a centuries-old means. Centuries old. Now, it's worthless, it's time is over. It had its time, it had its usefulness—it's over, it's past, it's way past. Now... (Mother lowers her fist sharply): consciousness is the Divine; power is the Divine; action is the Divine; individuality is the Divine.
And the body has understood, sensed very well; it has realized and understood, as they say in English, that the sense of being a separate personality is PERFECTLY useless, perfectly useless, it is not in the least indispensable to its existence, it's perfectly useless. It exists by another power and another will, which is not individual, not personal: the Divine Will. And it will become what it is supposed to be the day it feels there is no difference between itself and the Divine. That's all.
All the rest is falsehood—false, false, false, and a falsehood that must disappear. There is only ONE reality, there is only ONE life, there is only ONE consciousness (Mother lowers her fist sharply): the Divine.
(Mother looks at Satprem with great intensity, Satprem puts his forehead on Mother's knees)
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