Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Concerning the corrected sentence in the "Notes" of August 28 about the power to bring about death.)
How was it worded?
Page 297
"...For another WHO WANTS TO LEAVE, it's the end, he goes over to the other side."
It happened again yesterday, I saw the same thing. I was told about a child who was very ill, incurable, and they said he was in terrible pain, he was very miserable—the parents wanted him to pass away. He passed away an hour later. This morning I knew. I thought: Well, it's like in the "Notes"—either the person himself wants to go, or those who are looking after him find he's too miserable, and they ask; so instead of suffering for a long time, he leaves. That's what I meant.
A little later
It's really interesting, it's as if my body were a battlefield between what obstinately wants to stay and what wants to take its place. There are such marvelous moments—glorious moments—and then, a second later, a minute later, such a violent attack! It's like that. And my body is.... For food, for instance, there are times when I eat without even noticing I am eating, except that everything tastes delicious; and then a second later, I can't swallow a thing! It's like this (gesture of tugging from one side or the other). So the only solution I have is to be as QUIET as possible. As soon as I am quiet, it feels better. It's as if.... All of a sudden you have the impression that you are about to die, and a minute later, it's... it's eternity. Really an extraordinary experience. Extraordinary. Sometimes everything, everything seems so foggy, dark—there's no hope, no possibility of seeing clearly—and a minute later, everything becomes clear.
And at the moment, it's like this (swinging gesture). It's only because my body has faith that—that it can go on.
It's quite interesting.
(long silence)
When you let the Power flow through without diminishing or distorting it or... it's unbelievable! Unbelievably powerful. And a minute later, you feel that the world is so dark and distorted that it's hopeless. Although perhaps there's—perhaps—a small beginning of improvement in the proportion.
(Mother goes within long contemplation)
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Did you feel anything? What did you feel?
I don't know.... I was trying to give myself.
(Mother smiles and takes Satprem's hands) It came very strongly, very strongly, like this (massive gesture falling from above). You were in it.
(silence)
It's all right—it's all right.
Yes (gesture of surrender, hands open), that's the best thing to do.
Oh, it's so strong!
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