Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Concerning the next "Bulletin.")
Is it interesting?
But of course, Mother! But you know, as a matter of fact, I see the Bulletin from A to Z, every comma. It's no one else.
That's good. Have you finished "The Synthesis"?
No, Mother, it will take another year or two.
Oh, as much as that!
No, pardon me! They calculated it will last until 1975.
'75!... (Mother laughs.)
What shall we take up next?
What have we published?
"The Human Cycle," "Human Unity," a few chapters of "The Life Divine."...
Well, we should finish the book.
Finish it!... (laughter)
It's a lot of work.
Yes, enough for 30 years of the "Bulletin"!
(Mother laughs)
Yes, it's best to take The Life Divine.
Or "Savitri"? Your translation of "Savitri"?
Page 256
Oh, that!... It would take a poet to do that.... You're speaking of my translation?
Yes, Mother.
It's worthless.
No, it's not, Mother! Maybe a few things need adjusting, but.... No, no, it's worth it.
But I've done very little of it.
Well, you would have to "complete" it! (laughter)
Did I do the end?
A little at the beginning and then the end.
I don't see anymore.... So I should go back to it then.... The Life Divine will take how many years?
I don't know, thirty years maybe [at the rate of a chapter per "Bulletin"].
What! (laughter) Thirty!... Then it will go on until the year 2000.
Yes.
(Laughing) Then we have plenty of time!
No, you see, it is bound to go on one side or the other, that is, either my body will be renewed and become stronger (I mean my eyesight better, and so on), and then it will be easy, or else finished.
No!
Or else I'll have to let it go.
No, no. No, it must change for sure. That's sure.
Page 257
It's almost mathematical, you know.
It FEELS that way.... I don't know. It's up to the Divine Will.
Because a certain part will necessarily have to be miraculous.
Without a miracle, it.... But then, the miracle depends on the Lord.
Well. Anyway, we have some time to think about it! (laughter)
But it HAS to take place, Mother. It's not just faith, it's a logical outcome.
It all depends (Mother touches her hands) on the proportion of what needs to be eliminated, you see. And the capacity for transformation.
But, Mother, I think it depends even more on its necessity for the world—on the necessity of your transformation for the world.
You think it's necessary?
But of course!
It's the only chance we have.
Oh!...
If it isn't done in you, that means the thing is put off again for... for centuries. Well, that's just impossible! It's not possible.
(after a silence)
I am fully open to anything the Lord wants—anything, even the most difficult of things. I am fully open like this (Mother opens the palms of her hands upward): what You want, Lord, what You want—that's my joy. That's all.
It's my LIFE. It's the essence of the life in me, in the body. It is like this: what You want—with a joy, a joy that is... unadulterated.
Page 258
That's all.
(silence)
Do you want a little concentration?
(Mother goes within)
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