Others too had to understand Her secret - her own disciples, Nations. Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? '... The body knows that the work will go on and on and on...'
The last turning point of Mother's yoga, and she comes out of it with this cry: "I have walked a long, long time. There was nothing but a constant cry, as if everything were torn away from me. It was the whole problem of the world." And this Agenda is more and more strewn with heartrending little cries. It was not enough to have found the secret for herself, the others too had to understand, her own disciples, Nations locked in their egoistic power: "They have no faith! 'She is old, she is old', an atmosphere of resistance to the change; 'it is impossible, impossible' from all sides.... Not a single minute should be wasted - I am in a hurry.... The reign of the Divine must, oh, must come!.... If the entire Russian block were to turn to the right side, that would be an enormous support! The victory is certain, but I don't know which path will be followed to reach it.... We must cling, cling so tightly to Truth.... They don't listen to me any more." She is 93, groping her way into the unknown: "I see more clearly with eyes closed than with eyes open, and it is a physical vision, purely physical, but a kind of physical that seems more complete. The consciousness of the cells is what has to change, all the rest will follow naturally! I have the feeling I am on my way to discovering the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life may go on uninterrupted - death is the result of a distortion of consciousness." Will she be heard? Will she be allowed to pursue her experience? "Only a violent death could halt the transformation; otherwise the body knows that the work will go on and on and on...." And this cry again: "There will be a miracle! But what, I don't know."
(Sujata's visit to Mother. The day before, Sujata had gone to the Cazanove gardens, in the suburbs of Pondicherry, to see the tombstones of Pavitra and Amrita.)
(Sujata:) Yesterday I went to visit Cazanove.
Oh, why?
To see Amritada and Pavitrada.... You know, nothing has been done, no work until now to cover the tombs, in two years.
How are they?
They are covered with "Sri Aurobindo's Compassion," and
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near the head, there is a slightly broken pot with "new creation," and near the feet a pot of "devotion,"1 the same for both.... I found that very nice, but nothing has been done.
I've never heard Pavitra complain about it! (laughter)
I see Pavitra very often, almost every night.
Maybe he likes it that way.
Even last night I saw him: he was in Japan.
When did they leave?
Amritada left on January 31, 1969 and Pavitrada in May, May 16.
Oh, Pavitra left after.
You know, time and me....
Pavitra is here, he's very active, he stays near me, I see him very often. Amrita I don't see that much. Pavitra was absorbed into me and I put him back into a form little by little, and when he was completely formed, I brought him out and he stays very close here.
What does he do?
He meets people, he does all sorts of things.
What work does he do?
He meets people, talks, but he's here, he hasn't left the earth's atmosphere. Amrita left to rest; Pavitra is here, in the subtle physical—that's where Sri Aurobindo is and it's a physical that has a strong tendency to materialize.
We'll see....
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