It's neither life nor death.. BOTH are being changed.. into something still unknown.. dangerous and wonderful. On Nov 17, 1973, she left her body - why?
"Before dying falsehood rises in full swing. Still people understand only the lesson of catastrophe. Will it have to come before they open their eyes?" This is the year of Watergate, of Nixon's first trip to China, the assassination of the Israeli athletes in Munich, the first oil embargo. This is Mother's last lap. A lap strewn with heartrending little cries and stunning visions. The end of one world, the beginning of another.... whether we want it or not. "Sometimes, it is so new and unexpected, it's almost painful." And I would ask her, "But is it a state outside matter?" "I don't go outside of physical life, but.... it looks different. But it is strange. And it is PHYSICAL, that is the extraordinary thing! As if the physical had split in two.... A new state in matter. And it is ruled by something that is not the sun, I don't know what it is.... I am touching another world. Another way of being.... dangerous but wonderful." How I listened to her little breath as she gasped for air, a breath that seemed to come from another side of the world: "There is no difference between life and death. It's neither life nor death, it is.... something. It is not the disappearance of death you understand: BOTH are being changed.... into something still unknown, which seems at once extremely dangerous and absolutely wonderful." And what if "death" were merely the other, MATERIAL side of our human bowl, the sunlit shore for a species to come? A new condition on both sides of the world, in which life and death change into.... something else? "I am treading a very thin and narrow line...." And then this cry, this entreaty: "Let me do the work!" On November 17, 1973, she passed away - why?
(After inquiring about Satprem's health.)
And in general is it better?
Yes. I don't know, how do you see it yourself?
(Mother laughs) I mean, is it better on the whole?... Can't you hear?
Page 294
Yes, yes, of course I can hear! You mean the whole of...
Of you?
Oh, me.... I don't know, I'm a speck of dust... that is trying to be a little useful, that's all.
(Mother nods her head)
But I don't know what "me" is. Whenever I see that "me," it seems quite ridiculous and dark.
(Mother laughs)
Everything good in me isn't "me" at all.
That I understand!
So I really don't know.
That's very good.
Yes, but the person I "inhabit," if I may say so, seems so dark, so small, so... oh, so uninteresting!
Listen, it's the Divine who made us the way we are....
Yes, Mother.
...Our unconsciousness is what prevents us from knowing it, otherwise we would always be in a kind of luminous peace, and simply: what You want, Lord, what You want... (Mother opens her hands in a gesture of total surrender). Like that.
For me—I mean, for this sort of... for this (Mother pinches the skin of her arms), which has lived so many years but doesn't know anything anymore, and can't do anything anymore, there's only... (same gesture of surrender, hands offered to the Lord).
Whatever conscious will is left is used to remain attentive—attentive, absolutely still and peaceful (gesture of listening to the above). To try not to obstruct or distort what the Lord... (Mother corrects herself) what the Divine wants. That's all. And not a personal Divine: the Divine Consciousness at work in the world.
Page 295
We know nothing, we know absolutely nothing, we are totally stupid really, but if we can be like this (gesture, hands open): receptive—receptive in a silence... a silence that worships... Light, Light... a perfect Knowledge and unerring Will....
(Mother opens her hands long silence)
You have nothing to say?
No, Mother.
Or ask?
One always has a feeling of... yes, of always being full of all sorts of problems. There's a hiatus, an increasingly painful chasm between a life you know is tranquil and vast, and a person who is.... You feel the disparity between the two is getting more and more striking.
Yes, that's exactly what I am living through.
But then I've learned that there's only one way:
(Mother opens her hands)
That is it. Do you understand?
(Mother plunges in)
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