Dilip's Correspondence with The Mother

20 January 1939

Dilip,

Of course it was only an untrue dream. I never thought for a moment of asking you for more money after all you have given with a generosity and loyalty I fully appreciate.

As for the departure, it is difficult for me to say anything. It goes without saying that we will be very sorry if you go. But how to stop you if you are so unhappy here?

About the suicide, you are aware that we do not approve of it because we know that it is no solution for the difficulties, on the contrary it is bound to increase them and to throw the departed being into a very miserable condition.

I would so much like that instead of thinking of death you would pray for the removal of the last obstacles and the descent of an all-illuminating peace and joy.

Sri Aurobindo asks me to express his great regret at your decision and the necessity you feel to go. He asks you not to make it as a final decision but to keep the door open in yourself for return and happy emergence from your difficulty.

In all circumstances his love and affection will remain with you. You know that it is the same with me.

20 January 1939