Gautam Chawalla's Correspondence with The Mother

17 April 1963

Ma, since you wrote to me I truly wanted to have that X-ray test. But they only found some gas in the kidney. You know, Ma, I have spent the last four days in an intolerable state of consciousness: the medicines, the injections, the purgatives, the fever and the hospital — all this has weakened me. Now I need to rest.

Ma, I pray to You with all my love to take pity on me and keep me far from this affair. I am not complaining, but something in the body is resisting. You know very well that this X-ray will be useless.

Ma, I don’t want to go. How to explain to others what is going on in me? You know, and that is why I am imploring You not to let me go.

O Love, You are my only refuge.

All right, my dear little one. I wanted to write to you this morning to put an end to all this. It is really quite useless. Rest, and on 19th morning come with Champaklal to arrange the curios.

And we will speak no more about illness!

Tenderness and blessings

17 April 1963