Madanlal Himatsingka's Correspondence with The Mother

9 January 1973

Mother,

You have been so kind to me that I cannot express it in words. You have been and are giving me everything — but Mother, I feel that I am throwing it all away and cannot retain even a portion of it. Mother, is there no way to make me hold what you so graciously shower on me? I find myself helpless and weak.

Moreover, Mother, I find no interest in life these days. No work interests me. It is a peculiar state. It is so intense that I feel no interest in living. Sometimes I pray that I may leave this body quietly and merge myself in Thy consciousness. Mother, what is this? I want to serve Thee sincerely, but how can I do this in the present state in which I am?

Mother, please help.

I shall tell you only one thing:

I need you for my work.

Have patience and courage.

My love and blessings are with you always.

9 January 1973