Maude Smith's Correspondence with The Mother

30 October 1966

Mother,

Most of my life I have driven myself to do what needed to be done or what I wanted to do. But you have told me to do as I feel—which has always seemed utterly impossible. For one thing, different parts of me feel different ways and I never recognise any urge as being “from within or above”, which, you told me, is where the urge for work should originate.

In recent weeks my weight has gone very low, and since my food is not less, I wonder if it may be because my body needs more sleep or more relaxation.

What would happen if I tried for a month doing exactly as I felt? Of course I would do the Book Stock work as usual, but everything else—other work, group exercise, gardening, painting, personal things—I would do only as I felt, not allowing one part of the being to push another. Is this possible before the psychic takes over control?

Shall I try it as an experiment? And will you guide me?

I was not speaking of the body’s feeling, but of the psychic feeling which is wiser than the mind.

Love and blessings

30 October 1966