Maude Smith's Correspondence with The Mother

5 May 1963

Gracious Divine Mother.

Is this hunger that 1 feel so much of the time aspiration? When I told You about it in an interview long ago (although then I think I described it as a homesick feeling), You turned Your head away as if in disgust or impatience.

I am not conscious of having had disgust or impatience at anything you told me.

So because of that, and because year after year this hunger was never satisfied, I felt that it must be a wrong movement, a vital desire or demand or impatience, and so I fought against it, tried to quiet it, surrender it, forget it. And since I could never do that, but was only tormented by it, I have hated it and myself and the sadhana.

But lately it has occurred to me that perhaps this hunger is aspiration, aspiration being done in me rather than my doing it.

Certainly hunger is aspiration; the only important point is to know what is the object of the hunger. If it is hunger for the Divine it is quite all right. In the same way in a homesick feeling all depends on the home for which you are sick—if it is for your Divine Origin, it is undoubtedly a very good help for your consciousness to reach there soon.

Mother, is this true? If so, then my whole attitude has to change; I must learn to welcome this hunger instead of dreading or resenting it, and quietly and confidently let it do its work in me.

Is it not that which I meant when I asked you to be more spontaneous?

With all my love and blessings

5 May 1963