Maude Smith's Correspondence with The Mother

c. 1955

Gracious Divine Mother,

You have talked to me and explained many things about humility and openness, about the things in me that hide you from me, about confidence and letting go. But it is very hard for me to be patient and wait gladly and let you do the sadhana. Yet I feel that if I can ever surrender completely to you, it will bring a great sense of relief and peace and joy.

You told me recently that I don't need to seek you within, for when the being is ready you will reveal yourself. You told me that I can't even aspire, because aspiration is something given. Are these things true? Because in class and in the books, you and Sri Aurobindo are always saying that we must aspire.

There must be some omission in the mental transcription, because as it is put here it is not quite true—at least one aspect of the problem is missing.

It must have been a reaction against an excessive reliance on aspiration alone.

Then last week you said, "Surrender, too, is given." I asked, "Then is there nothing I can do but wait?" and you answered, "You can do nothing. Everything is given. But you must try. Try to aspire, to pray, offer and open. Try to surrender, remembering that it is not your efforts that will avail anything. All is given; still you must play the play; you must try."

Obviously all this was said to relieve an excessive tension of the will—but it is only one aspect of the problem.

Help me, Mother, I pray. Teach me what I need to know. Open me to thyself and bring me to thee.

With love and devotion and joy, I offer myself at your feet.

A more smiling confidence in the Grace would surely lead you sooner to peace and joy.

With my love and blessings

c. 1955