Read Madanlal Himatsingka's correspondence with The Mother - from 1954 to 1973.
The Mother : correspondence
THEME/S
Born on 16 July 1916, Madanlal Himatsingka grew up in Calcutta, married and became a businessman there. He visited the Ashram first in 1953 and then joined it in 1959 at the age of forty-three. From the beginning, Madanlal was involved in financial work for the Ashram. Dedicated to the publication and distribution of the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, he founded the All India Press in 1969 and the VAK Bookshop in 1980. For the last two-and-a-half decades of his life, he spent much of his time raising funds for the construction of the Matrimandir in Auroville. He passed away on 30 July 2004 at the age of eighty-eight.
Madanlal’s correspondence covers the period from 1954 to 1973. It is entirely in English. The main topics are his personal life, his work and his spiritual effort. One senses in the correspondence both his desire to serve the Mother and his thirst for spiritual progress.
Ma,
There are many persons, groups and institutions in the West who feel that India is or will be the spiritual guru of the world; but we find that their knowledge of Indian spirituality is limited. Should we increase contact with these groups? Should we present them with books by Sri Aurobindo and you on a large scale? Which books would you recommend for foreign readers?
Books recommended:
Sri Aurobindo: The Ideal of Human Unity; The Human Cycle; The Life Divine; Essays on the Gita; Thoughts and Glimpses; The Superman; The Supramental Manifestation upon Earth.
The Mother: On Education; Words of Long Ago; Words of the Mother (containing Conversations with the Mother); The Four Austerities.
Bulletin of Physical Education.
Mother, is there any possibility for me to realise the Divine in this life?
All depends on the sincerity of the aspiration. If the aspiration is sincere and steady, you are sure to reach the goal in this life. When one thinks like this, as you are doing, usually it is because things are ready in him for the realisation.
With my blessings28
13 March 1954
Mother,
Who is the God Ganesh? I am told that you have written something about this God.
Mother, how to come in contact with Ganesh? Panditji29 once gave me a Ganesh mantra and at times I repeat it regularly. First I say your name, Sri Aurobindo’s name and then this mantra, trying to remember you in my heart. My childlike feeling is that if Lord Ganesh manifests before me, he will make me capable of doing a lot of work for the Mother — giving me a lot of money for her. But I also feel that without the Mother’s Grace, he will not appear. Mother, how can I know him?
My dear child,
In answer to your question I shall say that each one must invoke Ganesh according to his own feeling — the traditional way is not necessarily the best.
I will tell you my own experience about him.
In 1930 we were having regular meditations in the Prosperity hall on the significance of flowers. At one of these meditations, quite unexpectedly, Ganesh appeared suddenly to my inner view. He was of golden light and surrounded by a very luminous golden aura. His form was the usual one as in his images.
It was the first time I ever saw him and I expressed some surprise over his sudden apparition.
Then he told me, “You see I am a living being quite real and concrete — and to give you a concrete proof of my reality I shall send to you henceforth all the money you will need.”
And on this promise he disappeared.
He kept his promise for years and the money was coming abundantly.
Then, in 1939, the Second World War started and everything got spoiled.
However, the true financial difficulties started only ten years later in 1949. Since then it is a struggle . . .
But if now you invoke Ganesh sincerely, he may resume his good offices through you. It can be tried.
With love and blessings
8 November 1962
Dear Mother,
I badly lack the intensity of aspiration and the initial effort needed to establish contact with the psychic. Even there is no intensity in my prayer to You. Mother, help me to grow on the path of sadhana. I often feel that I am not progressing. Please do help.
Do not bother about the progress — it will come by itself with the growth of the sincerity.
Fund collection for the Mother will form a major part of my work in the future. In reply to my enquiry about Lord Ganesh some time back, You very graciously explained the whole thing and wrote at the end about collecting money: “But if now you invoke Ganesh sincerely, he may resume his good offices through you. It can be tried.” Since then I have been doing the Japa of the Ganesh mantra regularly, but it has not been effective so far. Even now I am doing this Japa, keeping Your image in my heart. Mother, should I change this traditional way and follow some other method?
Be plastic to the inner impulse, not too tied by fixed rules and programmes. Let your feeling have a more free play.
In any case you can be sure of the help.
26 May 1963
I do not know how things about me have been put before the Mother, so I thought at first of writing a detailed explanation. But ultimately the whole idea changed. “Why this explanation? Does not the Mother know everything? I am her child. She is here to bear, endure and pardon all our follies. Hence what is the necessity of an explanation?”
Mother, give us the capacity to receive and understand Thy guidance. I may not be able to express it, but my whole feeling is to be able to serve Thee in a way Thou desirest us to serve Thee.
Make me worthy of Thee.
I know your feelings and appreciate your good will.
My love and blessings are always with you.
24 August 1964
(Madanlal’s wife Karuna was dying of cancer. Two days before she passed away, Madanlal wrote:)
Mother Divine,
Karuna’s condition is deteriorating every day. I am not so much worried now about her physical end, because the Mother’s words that Karuna’s soul has decided to leave the body have made me gradually prepared for this.
You said to me the other day, “I am trying to put her in contact with her soul and if I succeed I will consider it to be the Supreme Grace.” But Mother, when the Divine Mother Herself is saying this, is it not already established?
Mother, we are your children, but after all we are children and have not any sadhana. Thy Grace alone can do something for Karuna, so that she gets the “conscious joy of contact with her soul”. I feel that Karuna cannot aspire for it in her present condition of health. I earnestly pray to the Mother to grant this.
Madanlal,
Do as she asks — and be as calm as you can.
I am with you.
Blessings
4 December 1964
(Madanlal’s wife passed away on 5 December 1964. Five days later, Madanlal wrote:)
With humble submission I prayerfully ask the following about Karuna:
(1) What is the significance of her passing away at 7.30 p.m. on the 5th of December?
In the night of the 4th to the 5th, Sri Aurobindo, to whom I had spoken about her suffering, told me that she would leave her body peacefully on the 5th.
(2) For two days before her passing away, she appeared to be completely indrawn, although externally conscious. Could she establish the contact with her soul?
It is because the contact with her soul was established that she was indrawn.
(3) Why did she have to leave her body at a comparatively early age?
This was a decision taken by her soul before this birth. The soul had chosen a kind of experience which could not last for many years.
(4) Why was there such prolonged agony and suffering and then such a peaceful end?
So long as the consciousness was turned outward and not aware of the soul’s will, the agony was there. The union with the soul brought the peace.
(5) Will her soul come again to take part in the Mother’s work of supramental manifestation?
The soul is bound to come for the Divine’s Work. When the time comes and the circumstances are favourable, we shall know about it.
Love and blessings
10 December 1964
Mother dear,
13th March is my wife’s birthday. On the eve of this occasion, I wish to ask you more about her passing. You have said that there are two periods in life after death: first, the passage to the psychic world, and then the rest in that world. Did Karuna have an easy and quick passage to the final place of rest in the psychic world? Had she gone through it easily and unscathed? Are her physical, vital and mental sheaths dissolved or is she still in one of them, partially or fully?
The transition period was short; all the parts of her being connected directly or indirectly with me, are at rest and her soul is in perfect peace.
Had she still any memory of this life? Does she observe our movements and try to help us? She often used to say, “Even after death, I will keep a watch on you and try to help you to progress on the path of divine realisation.” Is she consciously helping us? If so, why are we not aware of it?
This was a mental resolve and may not have lasted when she united with her soul.
12 March 1965
For the last few days I concentrate on your eyes as you very graciously look when I go for Pranam. I have selected the enclosed photograph for this purpose. I have hung up the photo and sit on my bed or in a chair and try to meditate to open myself to your Divine Force and reject the thoughts of the ordinary consciousness. I utter “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” or simply “OM Ma”. When thoughts come, I try resolutely to drive them away and utter “OM swaha”.
Mother, is it all right? Will I receive Your Grace?
It is all right. Persevere. You are sure to succeed one day or another. My force and blessings are with you always.
31 March 1965
What is preventing me from coming in conscious contact with Thy Grace? Mother, why don’t you dissolve the obstacles or pull them out of my consciousness? I want Thee, Mother, and I want to serve Thee! Please do something. I can only pray.
Mother, does my prayer or call reach Thee some-times?
I am always aware of your call and always send an answer. In the quietness of the mind you will receive it.
30 April 1965
In Thy own Divine words I pray to Thee: “What is this small meanness, stupidity, vanity, ignorance, bad will that is there hiding in a corner, preventing me from crossing the threshold to the new discovery?”30
Mother, what is the defect and weakness in me which I am unable to find and pull out? Please help.
Madanlal, my dear child,
It is better not to concentrate on one’s defects and weaknesses.
This life upon earth as it is at present is a constant struggle with all the opposite forces outside — to that constant exterior struggle, those who want to do yoga have to add the constant struggle against the inferior nature which stands in the way. To counterbalance this strain, it is better to concentrate on the positive side of the trust in the Divine’s Grace and Mercy which is always there to help, guide and comfort.
If you can establish and keep in you this faith and confidence, then the way becomes easier.
With my love and blessings
16 July 1965
I received a phone call from Karuna’s mother, informing me that she is coming here on the 17th February by plane. She is not keeping good health these days. She is feeling very weak. She has asked me to pray to Thee for her health so that she is able to go to Thee for Pranams on every Friday.
I was thinking that if she finds it difficult to climb the steps, she can be brought up in a chair by our boys who are accustomed to do this work and will do it very willingly once a week on Fridays.
11 February 1966
Regarding the Coloured Flower Picture Diary. Friends suggest that advertisements in this diary will not look decent. We should raise funds from other sources.
I pray for the Mother’s decision. Of course the diary will look nice without advertisements.
Yes, better no advertisements.
8 July 1966
At my request, Thou gave me the mantra “OM anandamayi chaitanyamayi satyamayi parame”. But Mother, the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” has always appealed to me more, because I have faith that all the transcendental powers of the Divine Mother are embodied in Thee.
This mantra is good and you can keep it.
I often recite:
“Cry not to heaven, for she alone can save. For this the silent Force came missioned down; In her the conscious Will took human shape: She only can save herself and save the world.”31 Mother, shall I be able to realise this some day?
Certainly you can.
Keep your faith steady and aspire with patience and confidence; the result is sure.
29 August 1966
As graciously permitted by Thee I keep on repeating the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” and try to concentrate on the meaning of each word of it. This sometimes brings calm and peace. I continue to chant it often. But the greatest hindrance seems to be mental thoughts. Mother, when will the veil over the psychic be lifted? Will it happen at all? Sometimes I feel very depressed and find myself so weak. Sometimes I feel that I have not even started to tread the path.
Mother, I earnestly pray for the opening of my psychic. Will you do it? I am Thy child, so ignorant and foolish. Thou alone can help and save me.
Keep your aspiration ardent and steady — the result is sure. With all my love and blessings
2 December 1966
Mother!
On New Year’s day, my written prayer to Thee was to grant me the boon that is to descend in 1967. Perhaps the non-reply to my prayer confirms my belief that it is not possible to become a divine instrument overnight, at least for a person like me whose psychic has not even come in the front and who is only guided mentally.
Anything is possible with faith and confidence.
My answer was not written but the needful was done and if your trust is steady, your aspiration will be fulfilled.
My other query was about learning by heart lines of Savitri and meditating on them. I believe in the mantric efficacy of these lines and think they will help me to achieve more quickly the true aspiration for the true realisation. Mother, what is the best way for me according to my present nature? I humbly pray for guidance suited to my present needs.
You may use Savitri lines as mantra — they are powerful.
29 January 1967
I am trying to remember Thee always. Often I am chanting the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama”. This I do regularly. But Mother, I find that this has led me nowhere and I am standing in the same place as before. Mother, how long will you allow your child to remain merged in ignorance? And in ignorance, how can I serve Thee?
Mother, outwardly there seem to be no problems for me; you have given me everything. What prevents me, then, from coming in contact with Thee inwardly? Mother dear, establish in me the inner contact with Thee. Otherwise there seems to be no chance for me in this life.
Earnestly praying for Thy guidance and help. I am your ignorant child.
Find your joy and satisfaction in being of service to the Divine’s work upon earth — which is a realised fact — and the rest will come in due course, surely sooner than you expect. With all my love and blessings
6 April 1967
I earnestly pray to be able to receive Thy inner guidance and to be worthy of Thy work. Mother, why is it not coming?
Surely it will come.
22 June 1967
May I take it that Thy response will be awakened in me and that your last utterances to me were a definite promise, such as we read in Thy Prayers and Meditations: “Our Divine Mother is with us and has promised us identification with the supreme and total consciousness.”?32
This promise is still valid.
Mother, do I receive what you are trying to give to me?
You are progressing well and receiving more and more. With love and blessings
6 August 1967
As my Guru, my divine guide, art Thou satisfied with my spiritual progress? Are there any special directions for sadhana specially suited to my nature?
In general, it is better not to speak of the “sadhana”. Even the guru does not speak of it usually; it is only when there is something wrong that he points it out to the disciple. In your case all is going on normally, so I have nothing to say.
Be quiet and confident. You are advancing properly.
17 November 1967
My wife’s mother is declining fast. Due to a failing heart, water has accumulated in the chest. According to the doctors, her condition still continues to be serious. I have informed her family about her condition.
Mother, my only faith is in Thee. I know that the Mother is doing whatever is best. I only pray to Thee again that Karuna’s mother remains under Thy protection and that her whole being returns to Thee only if it has decided to leave. Mother, do take her under Thy complete protection.
Mother, what should I do under the present circumstances? What are Thy commands for me?
You are doing what is necessary. The Divine Grace is with her. Now her soul will decide to stay in her body or to go, according to her spiritual need and the Lord’s command.
My love is with her.
c. early 1968
Suddenly for the last two days I have a feeling of sex which has been almost absent for the last few years. I have a feeling that it is projected into me from outside. What is this, Mother? I pray that it goes away.
You must have picked it up during your journey in the North. Keep quiet and do not think of it — it will go.
5 February 1968
Every day from seven to eight in the morning I am trying to call you sincerely. Other times also I try to remember Thee. Mother, do you receive my call in the morning?
Not only I receive your call, but I answer very regularly — are you not receiving the answer? . . . or do you mistake it for something else!
30 June 1968
These days I do not find joy in anything; nothing interests me from within; everything appears to be so dull and devoid of all happiness. Physically, vitally, and mentally I am better than before; externally — financially and otherwise — I have no problems as such. I miss something, I need something, but I am unable to locate or explain it.
What is all this, Mother? And how to overcome it?
It is the sign that you are ready to find out your psychic being and to surrender to the Divine all the movements of your being. Your birthday is on the 16th of this month. I shall see you in the morning.
Let it be for you a new birth, the birth to the Divine Consciousness.
11 July 1968
It is not exact that you are doing nothing for me — on the contrary you are very helpful and your illness must pass away quickly, so that you may begin to work again.
The experience [of illness] you had in Calcutta was the result of an old formation that was weighing on your mind and for the removal of which I was working since several years.
Be confident and let the healing forces work fully, so that you may recover soon.
4 March 1969
Another night I have passed restlessly and sleeplessly. Now for the last three days the fever rises twice in a day; formerly it was not so. Asthma is constant.
Yesterday morning I had the feeling that the Mother is cleaning my whole system by taking away my cough and the impure things in the stomach.
Mother, I know that I have less confidence and am less open; but Mother, in spite of that, cannot Thy Grace, Protection and Blessings act? Mother, the suffering is much.
I want you to be cured and stronger than before.
Do not listen to the opposing forces.
9 March 1969
I bow down with gratitude at Thy feet for Thy written promise of “Ainsi soit-il” [“So be it”] for the removal of my illness. When the Divine herself has written, it is already done.
Last night for the first time I realised the importance of my illness.
It is good that you have been and are conscious; this helps the working of the force and hastens the complete cure that must be the result.
My love and blessings are with you.
17 March 1969
Last night I had a feeling that by Thy Grace and Force the disease is almost over. In the morning when I went for Pranam, I had the same feeling that the fever and disease are gone. I pray that they may vanish completely so that the doctor does not insist upon giving me injections. Mother, are the injections necessary at this stage?
If the fever continues in the night, it is better to take the injections (I shall see that they do not interfere with the working of the Force).
If this night (from 18 to 19) the fever does not come, you might ask the Doctor to postpone the injection until the report of the test comes.
18 March 1969
At the end of the year, I wish to ask Thee: Have I become more sincere to Thee and Thy work?
I am quite happy with you and your work.
31 December 1969
I humbly put before Thee the following questions:
1. It is said that the Ashram Press is the Mother’s Press and the New Press [All India Press] is Madanlal’s. Mother, is not the New Press equally Thine?
Yes, it is equally mine.
2. It is further said that the New Press has been started in the spirit of competition and grabbing power. There was no necessity for it. Mother, is the New Press not useful for Thy work and has it not been started with the sole intention of serving Thee and the Master and has it not Thy full approval?
Yes, it has been started with the intention of service and it will prove more and more useful.
Do not care about what people may say in their ignorance and be sure of my full support and confidence.
16 June 1970
I have taken up and am doing the publication work. I devote my full time to it. But, Mother, am I progressing spiritually? At least I do not feel it. I pray for Thy guidance and blessings.
The progress is often better when it is not felt. Continue with your work and do not worry. All is well.
21 March 1971
During my meditations, I try to concentrate on some aspect of the Divine. I am engaged now in printing and publishing the writings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I am trying to do it with detachment and devotion. Most of the time I spend thinking of my work and praying for the Mother’s and Sri Aurobindo’s help for its success. Mother, is this not equivalent to meditation and concentration, and will it not bring spiritual results?
Yes.
Sometimes when the work is not proceeding as expected, I feel depressed and uneasy. Mother, show me a practical way to overcome it.
The way is to keep always and in all circumstances an ardent and constant aspiration.
2 April 1971
(Madanlal outlined for the Mother three projects he wished to accomplish. His letter ends:)
This work requires sincere effort in the spirit of dedication and involves much finance. I want to do it entirely as part of my sadhana. I pray to ask Thee as my Guru and Divine Guide: Will I succeed both spiritually and physically in the above three projects? What possibilities does the Mother foresee? Shall I go ahead fully?
Keep a steady faith.
My blessings are with you.
12 April 1971
I have just received your letter; let this year be the year of your liberation from all sex trouble.
Surely Sri Aurobindo will help you to conquer.
14 July 1971
Tomorrow is my birthday. Here is a short report of my work.
The Mother’s New Press, called All India Press, has produced from January 1970 to July 1971 the following books: [details given about the publication of 46 books].
Mother, I have undertaken this work of Thine in the full spirit of dedication. This is the work of our Lord. I wish to know: Has He accepted my offering and is He, along with you, guiding me on the path through this work?
Bonne Fête
To Madanlal, with love, appreciation of his good work and blessings for the realisation of his aspirations
16 July 1971
Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press and All India Press are both equally working for the Ashram and the work is completing one another. The work of both is quite satisfactory.
7 April 1972
Past experience has proved that when you are far from me it is not good for your health. But you must take rest. Is it not possible here?
9 June 1972
Tomorrow is my birthday. I pray to Thee:
(1) Give me good health to serve Thee better.
(2) Make me free from desires, preferences and sex impulses, to enable me to grow in Thy consciousness.
(3) Psychic contact is the first thing. It is said that sadhana does not even begin without it, so I have not yet started the sadhana of Sri Aurobindo’s Yoga. Mother, I do not know what I should do to progress on the path. You are my only refuge. I pray to know what is best for my sadhana.
Do not worry, and go on with your work. You are progressing all right.
15 July 1972
I am quite satisfied with your work and have never expressed dissatisfaction about it. Why do you trouble yourself? It is for me that you are working and so long as I am satisfied, you ought to be at peace.
21 July 1972
From 1st October I decided to do the following:
(1) Half an hour sunbath in the morning at the time of sunrise, with the attitude that the Sun will help to open me physically, vitally, mentally and spiritually to the Divine Force.
(2) Half an hour meditation with a prayer for inner opening for contact, so that all works become Thy work and I get correct guidance.
(3) Taking food (breakfast, lunch, dinner) all alone, offering the food at Thy Feet with a prayer to open the entire being to Thy Force so that I can enjoy all-round health.
(4) To offer at Thy Divine Feet Rs. 1000 daily up to 24th November with a feeling of complete detachment and a prayer to become open to Thy Force to have inner contact.
(5) Visit Sri Aurobindo’s room daily till 24th November with a prayer to give the victory over power, sex and wealth.
(6) Try to keep constant wakefulness in talk, work and sleep (which I try to do but fail constantly).
Mother, the gist of this whole prayer, according to my childish notion, is to break me open to Thy Force in order to serve Thee better. Praying for my prayer to be heard, I am Thy ignorant child.
This is quite all right and I fully agree.
You can count on my help for its realisation.
13 October 1972
When I observe my past, I find that wealth and power have no special claim on me, but sex seems to be in the grain of my character from birth, and that is why it is so difficult to change. I am quite conscious of this defect and constantly trying to get rid of it, but always I fail. Mother, what should I do to overcome it? I find it very difficult.
Do not think so much about it. It will go.
20 October 1972
Through your work you are doing sadhana — and your progress is quite satisfactory. Do not worry and go on quietly; you are not concerned with what the others do. It can in no way alter the usefulness of your own work.
Do your work as a service to the Divine and be in peace. All is well.
28 November 1972
You have been so kind to me that I cannot express it in words. You have been and are giving me everything — but Mother, I feel that I am throwing it all away and cannot retain even a portion of it. Mother, is there no way to make me hold what you so graciously shower on me? I find myself helpless and weak.
Moreover, Mother, I find no interest in life these days. No work interests me. It is a peculiar state. It is so intense that I feel no interest in living. Sometimes I pray that I may leave this body quietly and merge myself in Thy consciousness. Mother, what is this? I want to serve Thee sincerely, but how can I do this in the present state in which I am?
Mother, please help.
I shall tell you only one thing:
I need you for my work.
Have patience and courage.
My love and blessings are with you always.
9 January 1973
In spite of all Thy help, I still feel very restless and unhappy. As my Guru you know all about my inner and outer difficulties. Mother Divine, I pray to know—
(1) What is the cause of my personal difficulties?
(2) What should be done to get them solved? With a prayer to be really worthy to be called Thy child.
It is always the ego that is unhappy. Do not listen to your ego and rely for all on the Divine and peace and a quiet joy will enter your heart.
7 March 1973
Series Seven—Madanlal. Madanlal Himatsingka joined the Ashram in 1959. A successful businessman, he initially advised the Ashram in financial matters. Interested in the publication of the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, he founded the All India Press in 1969. His correspondence deals with his press work, his personal affairs and his sadhana.
A selection of letters from Madanlal’s correspondence was published in the April 2008 issue of the quarterly Bulletin of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education. Then in 2016, on the occasion of Madanlal’s centenary, a book on his life was published — The Joy of Offering. It contained extensive selections from his correspondence with the Mother as well as biographical information and tributes. The present correspondence contains most of the selections in that book. The correspondence is in English.
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