Letters in Bengali to three sadhikas

10.5.1935

It isn’t necessary that one should leave home in order to call the Mother. One can do it remaining at home. Besides, the Mother doesn’t like what you want to do in this connection. Because you are very young, you’ll not be able to do it but you’ll only suffer. And the Mother doesn’t want that you should suffer in any way.

No, it’s much better that you remember the Mother within you, call her, in all circumstances, whether happy or unhappy, pray for her nearness, her help, her protection.

If you do that, then everything will be achieved.

13.5.1935

I don’t know when you’ll be able to come again—perhaps your father won’t let you return so soon, don’t be sad about it. Remember the Mother always, she will be always with you. Let this firm faith be awake in you that she is always with you and protecting you. You will try for three months, and if there are no results after that you will give up: that’s not right. The main thing is: remember her and call her, however long it may take; as you go on doing it, you will become conscious, feel that she is with you, and also see her.

14.5.1935

I am replying to your letter in Bengali. From now on I will do so. It is difficult to say what will happen in the future, but I hope that circumstances will be such that you will be able to come back to have darshan before long. Till then remember us and wait. The closer our inner relation becomes, the greater will be the possibility of your life being fulfilled.

17.5.1935

It is better for you not to go to a house where no one calls the Divine. But if you are sent there, even then call the Mother. If you can’t do it any other way, do as you do now, silently in your mind—in such a way that nobody will understand or know. Then you will get the result of your calling the Mother.

17.5.1935

Why have you written that we’re annoyed with you? We never were nor are we now angry with you, there is no reason for annoyance, you haven’t done anything wrong.

Did you not get my letter yesterday morning? I certainly wrote to you about our love, also that you would attain union with us. Anyway, I’m writing the same thing again, we love you very much and that love will always remain unimpaired. Don’t be sad or give any quarter to hopelessness in your mind. Foster this firm faith always in the mind—“I shall certainly attain union with the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, shall have the vision of them even though I stay far from them.” Remember us always. Those who do so achieve unity with us, you’ll also do the same. And if you do this, it is very likely that there’ll be such a combination of circumstances that you’ll be able to come here and have our darshan.

Come tomorrow definitely and see the Mother.

28.5.1935

I have got three letters from you, but as I was busy with many things I couldn’t answer them-today I am answering all the three together. It was known that it wouldn’t be possible for you to come for darshan this time, it can’t be easy to come twice within this short time. Don’t be sorry, remain calm and remember the Mother, gather faith and strength within. You are a child of the Divine Mother, be tranquil, calm and full of force. There is no special procedure. To take the name of the Mother, to remember her within, to pray to her, all this may be described as calling the Mother. As it comes from within you, you have to call her accordingly. You can do also this – shutting your eyes you can imagine that the Mother is in front of you or you can sketch a picture of her in your mind and offer her your pranam, that obeissance will reach her. When you’ve time, you can meditate on her with the thinking attitude that she is with you, she’s sitting in front of you. Doing these things people at last get to see her. Accept my blessings, I send the Mother’s blessings also at the same time. From time to time Jyotirmoyee will take blessing flowers during pranam and send them to you.

16.6.1935

I’ve got your two letters. Remember what I wrote to you when you were here and remember the Mother with a calm mind, call her. At the beginning one sees the Mother by shutting one’s eyes, can hear her words within oneself, but even that does not happen easily. Man sees the external form, hears external words and sounds — only what he sees and hears with his outer senses, that alone he sees and hears. To see or hear anything else is difficult for him, but the capacity for inner vision and hearing has to be opened, one has to try for it, it takes time. If it doesn’t happen in the beginning, don’t be sad. The Mother will always love you and remember you, one day you will have her vision and hear her voice. Don’t be sorry, invoke the Mother’s peace and force within you, you will feel her nearness by that.

4.8.1935

No, why should we be angry with you? I was very busy, there was no time to write; Even now I am indeed very busy because it is a darshan month. This time many people are coming for darshan. I hope your health will be better than it is now. You have written that you will go to Ranchi. When will you go and for how long will you stay there?

Don’t be anxious or sad because of the present condition. Remain calm and content, relying entirely on the Mother, wait for better times. One day you will certainly see her. Those who rely on her firmly and call her, they reach her at the end. There may be obstacles and many upsets in life in this world, it may take time, but even then they will achieve nearness to the Mother.

26.12.1935

I haven’t been able to write to you though I wanted to. Work doesn’t become less, in fact there is always more of it,—  if there is less work of one kind, others pile up. While I’m trying to finish all this the night gets over; after that there is no time left to write letters (to anyone) outside the Ashram. It’s the same today also, still I’m writing.

I see that both you and your mother have been very ill. I hope this won’t happen again and all that has come to an end. This has happened in many places, here and also in the case of many sadhaks in Bengal. It hasn’t been easy to control the situation and bring it to an end.

No, I am not angry with you, why should I be? Our love for you is undiminished, it will always remain so.

There is no time to write anything more, I shall do so later. Accept our blessings.

*

Undated

I could not reply to your letters because till now I had work all day every day. It is the same even now, but there is a little respite today, it being a Sunday; that is why I am writing a few lines.

Why do you feel sad if you think of us or see us in dreams? It should be a matter of joy that the Mother came to you in a dream. Don’t allow yourself to be sad, because you will not see us now. Remain calm, believing that the Mother is remembering you, loving you, is near you always; wait for the right moment; what obstacles are there now will not be there always.

Remember the Mother at all times, rely on her. If there is constant remembrance, one day you will see her, see her within yourself too.

*

Undated

Look, if I see you, will anybody else spare me? Won’t they say, “You have seen Esha and you can’t see us? What is this arrangement? Why this injustice! Aren’t we also human beings?” And then when one hundred and fifty people will come crowding on to me, what will be my fate? Just think about it and tell me.

I have to write a long letter in Bengali? Have I got that capacity or the time? I am at the end of my tether trying to write this small one, the night also is over. All right, this time I have somehow written in Bengali, but I warn you that I shall not be able to do such an exercise again.

*

Undated

I haven’t been able to write to you for a long time. I wanted to but couldn’t manage. This time more than seven hundred people have come for darshan—many came long before the 15th, many have stayed on even after that day till today, now they are departing. That is why there was a great deal of additional work. The Ashram work also increased a lot. It could not be finished in spite of working all day and night. That is why I couldn’t write to anyone outside. Now it has eased a bit, I can therefore write this letter. But the decrease in work is very little. I still have a good deal of necessary work, can’t finish it, can’t make time yet.

I can’t understand why you haven’t received Jyotirmoyee’s letter and the flower sent by her… but you may have perhaps received the letter sent meanwhile, she must have given her own explanation.

I hope you are well. Even if you can’t get fixed times to call the Mother, call her always and try to offer all your life and all your work to her.